Dead Girl in Love (23 page)

As a Dark Lifer, I wouldn’t actually die … but living in a new body every month, stealing into strangers to survive, would be a nightmare. How could I invade innocent lives? I’d rather die—or turn myself in to the DD Team and leave Earth forever.

And I thought about time: how little I had left and how my future would consist of constantly changing into stolen bodies, staying in each one no longer than one month—a full moon cycle. A rhyme I’d learned to help remember the days in each month sing-songed in my head:

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November; all the rest have thirty-one, except in leap year, coming once in four, which gives February one day more.

This now seemed like a life-in-death sentence.

But wait—there was one other time restraint on Dark Lifers, in addition to the restrictions of the moon cycle. If their temporary body got injured, they only had a short time to switch to a new body.

As I thought about this, an idea formed—too risky, dangerous, and horrible to consider. Still, I kept thinking about it, calculating that the odds of it succeeding were less than ten percent. Terrible odds … yet what did I have to lose?

“Come on, Amber,” Dustin tugged my hand. “We found the grave. We’re done here.”

“No,” I told him. “We’re not done yet.”

Then I told him my plan.

The sun was sinking fast—my fears were rising faster.

So many things had to work perfectly, and even then there were no guarantees.

We’d driven back to Dustin’s house and gathered some things for my plan. To the contents of Monkey Bag, I had added a flashlight, a first aid kit, a key, and a knife.

Not a large knife, no longer than six inches, but sharp enough to … well, I didn’t want to think about that part of my plan. I just hoped that when the time came, I’d find the courage.

My biggest obstacle turned out to be Dustin.

“You can’t come back with me,” I told him firmly.

“I’m not letting you wait in a cemetery without help,” he said stubbornly.

“If you’re there, Gabe can use you like he used Eli.” I put my hands gently on his arms and stared into his face, pleading. “It’s the only way this can possibly work.”

“But you’ll be alone without anyone to protect you.”

“I’ll protect me,” I said, much more bravely than I really felt.

Then I drove back to the cemetery, finding it again without making any wrong turns. I switched off Junkmobile’s engine and stepped out of the car.

Time ticked by like a heart counting down to its final beat. I had no doubt Gabe would come for me. As he’d boasted, he never broke his promises.

Carrying the flashlight in my hands, I slipped the knife in my skirt pocket and left the remaining items in Monkey Bag. Then I entered the cemetery, leaving the gate open for Gabe.

To ease the waiting stress, I pulled out Alyce’s purple notebook and a pen, flipping to a new page:

Alyce—I don’t know where or who I’ll be when you read this. I just want you to know, in case you don’t remember, that your lost grave is in the old Gossamer Cemetery. Also, I know that you’ve been hiding your mother’s problems, but hiding a problem won’t make it go away. You need to let other people know so she can get medical treatment. Maybe start with her coworker, Edna—she seems like a good friend to your mom. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good enough friend for you, and even sorrier that I won’t be around to make it up to you. Dustin will always be your friend but you should find other friends, too. Be happy, Alyce. I’ll miss you
…
your BFF, Amber.

“A good-bye letter. How touching.”

I slammed the notebook and jumped to my feet to face Gabe. His tone dripped with smugness; he had no doubts of his supremacy. But then why shouldn’t he feel victorious? Here I was, waiting for him, defeated.

It was still unnerving to look at Eli and see Gabe’s mannerisms and the glimmer of the sea in his eyes. He’d changed his clothes, too. No longer in Eli’s comfy jeans and T-shirt, he now wore flannel over a button-down navy blue shirt and snug black slacks. His cap with the anchor tilted to the side.

Dusk had fallen like a cool, dark blanket. I switched on my flashlight, shining the light on the ground in front of me. “So you’re here,” I said with no emotion.

“I told you I would be. I expected to find you with your family, not out in the middle of nowhere.”

“I didn’t want you near my family.”

“But a cemetery? Is there some black humor in your choice for our meeting?”

“Everything isn’t about you,” I said stiffly. “I was helping a friend find something lost a long time ago.”

“And you found it here?” he arched a brow. A faint gray glow shone from his palms, giving him a silvery glow.

“I found it. And I waited for you.”

“Thank you, my dear,” he spoke in a more formal tone that usual.

“I have come to you willingly.” I bowed my head, spreading out my arms in surrender. “I’ve fulfilled my promise.”

“I shall, too. I promise not to harm your precious Eli.”

“So what now?” I asked, noting the bag in his hand. “Will you light candles again?”

“Candles do set a nice romantic tone,” he told me with a meaningful look. “And fusing, although not at all physical, is the ultimate romantic bonding of souls. If we hadn’t stopped so soon before, you would have enjoyed an emotional high far beyond any human experience.”

Heat surged through me as his words created images in my mind. I realized I was leaning toward him, and pulled back abruptly.

“Candles would help,” I said with forced calm. “Then I won’t need to use my flashlight.”

“I brought saltwater taffy, too.” He smiled. “Sweets for my sweet Amber.”

I cringed at his possessive tone, but didn’t show it. I stood quietly for a moment, watching him kneel down on the ground and remove candles and candy from his bag. While he was preoccupied, I backed away. I had taken about five or six steps and was close enough to reach for the gate when his head jerked up, toward me.

“Where are you going?”

“Just moving to stay warm,” I lied.

“Come closer to the flames. If that’s not warm enough, I’ll give you my jacket.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just a little nervous and feel like moving.”

“Amber, don’t stall. The candles will burn out.”

“Only two candles? But you used a lot more last time. I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate with so little flame.”

“You
are
stalling, but I’ll play along—for now. Walk if you want, but don’t go far.” His tone was that of an amused parent humoring a child. “This will only take a few minutes.”

Again, I backed away, aiming my flashlight low so he couldn’t see exactly where I was going. Large chunks of broken concrete and fallen trees were useful camouflage, as I made my way to the wrought iron gate and grasped a rusty bar, shivering at the shock of cold metal. I turned off the flashlight to hide what I was doing, then slowly eased the gate into a closed position so that we were both shut inside. Now all I had to do was grab the lock and—

“Come back, Amber,” Gabe called. “No more games.”

“But isn’t this all a game?” I spoke loudly, feeling with my fingers for the lock. “You chose me, pursued me, and now I’m here with you.”

“I can’t even see you. Isn’t your flashlight working?”

“Battery died, I guess. But I can see fine—my eyes adjust quickly.”

“So hurry back now. I’m ready to start.”

My fingers closed around the curve of the lock, then pushed down until I heard the most wonderful click. “I’m ready too,” I said with grim resolve.

As I walked back to him, I paused to look at the crumbling staircase leading to the angel statue. I spotted a piece of the broken angel wing and paused, dropping the gate key under the bone-white wing. Then I hurried toward glowing candles and Gabe.

“Sit beside me,” he urged.

I hesitated, then did what he said.

“Take a piece of taffy. You know what to do.”

“Okay … sure.”

“Here.” He held out his hand.

Sick to my stomach, I picked the candy up, careful not to touch his gray-glowing skin. I couldn’t bring myself to unwrap the candy.

“Go ahead, eat it,” he urged.

“Gabe, you can stop this now … we don’t have to do this … you know it’s wrong.”

“Wrong to want to spend eternity with an intelligent, compassionate, beautiful soul?” Compliments, like charisma and charm, were easy for him, but hard for me to hear because I wanted,
needed,
to hate him.

“Eternity in stolen bodies is no life at all,” I said bitterly. “It’s wrong to force me.”

“You came here willingly.”

“Yes … I did. Remember that.” I swallowed hard. “It’s not too late—you can change your mind.”

“No.” The flames from the candles illuminated the determined set of his jaw.

But I was determined, too, and closed my eyes to gather courage.

Think of home and family and Eli
, I told myself
. Shut out everything else except this moment and what needs to be done
.

Something shifted inside me—a lifting, like wings flying toward a shining light. A girl with long black hair and gentle hands was reaching out to me. Alyce. Somehow, a part of her had come to help me—nodding, encouraging, and offering support. Calmness, soft like summer rain and sweet like spring flowers, fell over me.

Jumping to my feet, I reached into my pocket.

And swiftly drew out the knife.

Gabe stood, scowling. “What in the blazes are you doing?”

The blade glinted scarlet from the flaming candles.

“This is not funny,” Gabe snapped. “Give me the knife.”

I shook my head, my gaze fixed on his hands, ready to act if he moved toward me.

“Amber, I’m tired of your games. You promised to come to me.”

“And I did. I’m here and you’re here, but I won’t go any further. No fusing or anything else. I’d rather die than live forever in stolen bodies.”

“Is that what you’re planning to do?” he asked incredulously. “Kill yourself?”

My heart thudded and my fingers tightened on the knife.

“You can’t be serious.” The expression on his face was so like Eli’s when he was confused and vulnerable that I panicked, afraid I couldn’t go through with this. But I reminded myself that he only looked like Eli because he’d stolen Eli’s body and would easily destroy it—if I didn’t stop him.

“Amber, don’t be stupid. Put that down.”

He lunged for me, but I moved back, knife lifted.

“You want to go with me—admit it and stop pretending otherwise,” he added irritably. “You’re not foolish enough to kill yourself, not when you can have an exciting life with me forever. And what can your Earthbounder beau offer you? A boring, short, dull life. You’ll forget him quickly and realize you made the better choice. He doesn’t deserve you.” Gabe gestured to his stolen body with his gray-glowing hands. “But I do.”

That’s when I lashed out with the knife.

And slashed Gabe.

Twice.

“My hands!” Gabe shrieked as blood from the slashes in his ripped palms streamed down. “What have you done?”

“What I had to,” I said, the knife trembling in my fingers. The cuts weren’t more than scratches, but to a Dark Lifer, any cut to the hands was dangerous. I clutched the knife tightly, afraid he’d attack if I let go of my weapon. Even with his blood energy draining away, I knew he could overpower me if he got close enough.

But he didn’t seem interested in me, staring with horror at the dripping blood.

Pressing his hands together, as if that would hold his soul intact, he looked around frantically. “I have to get out of here!”

“Ten minutes,” I said.

“Damn it! Don’t you think I know that? This isn’t the first time I’ve been injured. That time on the cliff was a close call, but I found another body within ten minutes. I know what to do. I’m not weak and scared like other Dark Lifers.”

“Nine minutes,” I said, with a glance down at the illuminated wrist watch I’d borrowed from Dustin.

“You planned this!” He started toward me with the fury of a charging bull, but stopped when I waved the knife. “Now I’ll have to find another body or I’m done.”

“Yes,” I said, sickened by my own violence.

“After all these years … so many lives.” Holding his palms together, he shook his head. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“I had to.”

“No, you didn’t. You could have trusted me and we could have been happy forever.”

“Your definition of happy. Not mine.”

“I have to give you credit. No one else has ever stood up to me. And I can’t take your body because you’re a Temp Lifer.”

“Eight minutes,” I murmured, keeping my distance.

“But I could touch you and drain your energy, leave you close to dead.”

“That would waste valuable time—and you wouldn’t have much energy left to take another body.”

“True. And I don’t want to hurt you—despite everything.”

“Approaching seven minutes.”

“That is plenty of time to take a new body.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” He stared hard at me. “There are homes close by—I’ll find someone. And then I’ll come back for you.”

I moved aside—far out of his way—as he bolted for the gate. I knew what would happen next and I steeled my heart against pity. I also reached down for the rainbow cloth bracelet on my wrist and quickly did the “good luck” ritual of turning it right and left, then kissing the cloth and whispering the lucky chant. I needed all the luck I could get.

“It’s locked!” Gabe exploded.

He rushed around the fence, rattling iron bars and swearing with crazed fury.

I glanced down at my watch.

Five minutes.

With a shout of rage, Gabe stormed back toward me, reaching with his bloody hands but sharply pulling back as I waved the knife. “Amber, give it to me now!”

“What?” I asked innocently.

“The key!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do too! Give me the key
now
!” he demanded, but suddenly he wasn’t so fierce; his voice was weakening. Before my eyes, his energy was fading.

I steeled my emotions, shutting off sympathy. “What key?”

“The key to the damned gate!”

“The gate was open when I got here,” I lied.

“I don’t believe you! The gate was open and now it’s locked. It didn’t just lock itself. You did it!”

“Why would I trap myself in here with you?”

“Give me the key!” he bellowed.

“I can’t give what I don’t have.”

He cradled his hands, shaking uncontrollably. I could see flickers of silvery mist blending with the blood, as if his soul was slowly seeping out.

“I’m starting to glow … I have to go now! They’ll find me.”

I knew he meant the Dark Disposal Team. That had been part of my plan, so I didn’t say anything, only gave another grim nod. This was the only way to save Eli and myself. With Gabe captured, unable to use his psychic sense and flee before the DDT arrived, for once and for all he’d be stopped.

He knew it, too, and regarded me with a look that was terrifying and tender at the same time, as if he both respected and hated me. He was desperate now, and angry, a caged beast with no way out.

Only two minutes left. I still gripped the knife, although there was little reason to, since he was rapidly losing strength. Gabe sagged down to his knees, moaning and clasping his bleeding hands, almost as if praying.

There was a flash, and a group of figures in formal business suits, wielding silver lassos, materialized. I’d never seen so many DD Team members before, as if they’d called in everyone on the other side to bring down their most-wanted fugitive.

I could hardly bear to watch as the silver whips snapped toward the spectral glow that was seeping from Eli’s body. As his glow spiraled upward, like a flame rising from a fire, the DD Team’s whips lashed out and curled around it. Energy crackled, and light exploded like bursting stars. Then the shape of the glow shifted, spreading and growing, until I could see a handsome young man with a dark ponytail, seaman’s clothes, and ocean-green eyes.

“Amber,” I heard him whisper one last time. “I won’t forget … you.”

The whips curled tighter, spinning Gabe’s ghostly essence. His glow faded, like a dimmer switch slowly turning off. And as Gabe disappeared in the throws of silver ropes and business suits, I felt something strange and familiar happening to me. My world tilted and shifted into sensations I recognized.

The switch.

Grammy had managed to pull harp strings and speed up the process like I’d asked. But I wasn’t ready to go yet! Eli’s body was still here, bleeding in a cemetery without anyone to help him. Gabe would be gone and Eli would be alone. Alyce would take my place, but she wouldn’t know what to do. But there was no time. I was swept by a whirlwind and pulled into a roar of swirling colors and movement.

Flying forward, spinning … then impact.

When I opened my eyes, I was swimming in darkness, blinking. My vision gradually adjusted and I could make out furniture and familiar objects like stuffed animals on a shelf, a bulletin board tacked on a wall, and a furry white cat curled on a bed pillow.

My bedroom, my cat, my body.

Thank heaven—and Grammy.

I was home.

I had no memory of falling asleep but I must have, because I was awoken by a rough tongue licking my face. Instinctively I reached out to push Snowy away until memory crashed back and I wrapped my arms around my cat.

“Snowy!” I cried, loving how her soft fur tickled my skin. “You’re the most beautiful, wonderful, best cat in the world. It’s so good to hold you again.”

She replied by wriggling out of my arms and scampering out of my room.

“Still the same old attitude,” I said, smiling.

Then I leaned back against my pillows and waited for my thoughts and feelings to catch up with each other. Being back in my own body felt like being reborn, although it wasn’t anything new. I had this crazy urge to sing or dance, like there was something to celebrate. Yet I was sick inside with dread, too, remembering the terrible things had brought me to this moment.

Still, for a moment, I reveled in being back home and danced across my sunlit room to the mirror. “I’m me, I’m me, I’m me!” I sang, as if inventing a brilliant new song.

Gazing in the mirror was like magic. There I was: too-curly brown hair, freckles sprinkling my pale skin, and dark eyes just like my father’s. I was wearing a nightgown that was too long and old fashioned to have been my own choice. And when I looked around my room, which was completely reorganized so that everything was color coordinated and neat, I recognized Grammy’s work.

While I knew Grammy had gone back to the other side and I guessed that Alyce was herself again, I didn’t know what had happened to Eli.

Ohmygod! What if he was still in the cemetery?

Quickly, I looked around for a phone and found one on the dresser.

I called Eli’s cell and waited, listening to ring after ring after ring and then finally reaching voicemail.

My anxiety mounting, I hung up and called someone who might have answers.

Dustin picked up before it rang twice.

“Amber?” he asked at the sound of my voice.

“Yes—I’m home. But I don’t know what happened after I left last night.”

“I do,” he said a little too smugly.

“Have you heard from Eli?” I asked. “He was bleeding and then my switch happened and I couldn’t help him.”

“Relax,” Dustin said. “He’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” My knees went all rubbery and I collapsed on my bed.

“Positive. Did you really think I’d stay completely away last night? I was outside the fence ready to jump in if your plan failed. Wow! I couldn’t believe it when you actually sliced Eli … I mean, Gabe. Way to go, Amber.”

“I’m not proud of what I did.”

“Well, I am. You’re my new hero.”

“I don’t feel heroic—mostly sad. Gabe wasn’t all that bad. In his own egotistical way, he thought he was helping me.”

“He tried to kill you!”

“I don’t think he would have hurt me, not as badly as I hurt him. It was so hard to do what I did … then watch him bleed.”

“I nearly rushed in to make sure he didn’t attack you,” Dustin added.

“Thank God you didn’t! Gabe would have jumped into you body and things would have even been worse.”

“Which is why I stayed hidden. I’m not stupid,” he added dryly. “Those people in suits with the whips—wow! I’ve never seen anything like that. And the way Gabe just floated out of Eli’s body was freaking weird! Those silver whips spun around him and then everyone was gone.”

“What about Eli?”

“Oh, he was there and so were you. But you were both just lying there, not moving. So I used a spare key—you didn’t think I gave you the only copy, did you?—and went to help him. I found the first-aid kit you’d left and bandaged his hands. The bleeding stopped—the cuts weren’t deep. But he didn’t wake up.”

“What about Alyce?”

“She woke up and seemed confused at first, but then she said she had to go home to her mother. She had her own car, of course, so she didn’t need a ride. I couldn’t stay around to explain things but I showed her the grave. You know the one I mean.”

“Yes, I do,” I said solemnly. “But what about Eli?”

“Since he wouldn’t wake up, I took him to his house and gave his family a story about his being mugged. His parents, brother, and sister were really upset.”

“His sister?” I asked. “Sharayah was there, too?”

“Yeah. It was weird seeing her, considering you were wearing her body just a week ago.”

“I’m glad she’s back with her family, but how is Eli doing?”

“Last I heard, he was still sleeping.”

“I tried his phone and he didn’t answer.”

“Give him time.”

“I will. Suddenly I have a whole future ahead with lots of time.” I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions.

“Not that much time—I have to get to school. And you should, too.”