Deadly Crush (Deadly Trilogy, Book 1) (27 page)

~ JADE ~

They branded me.
 
Freakin’ branded me!
 
After I had cleaned myself up, Dominic heated
what looked like a cattle prod until the metal ‘A’ on the end glowed red and he
stuck me with it in the chest.
 
It hurt
like hell, and it took everything I had in me not to scream out.
 
Half the pack was right outside the door
dealing with the mess in the waiting room, and the last thing I wanted was for
any of them to think I was weak.
 
I was
having a hard enough time hiding how wrecked I was over killing someone.
 
I knew she had to die.
 
I knew she would have died whether it was by
my hand or one of the enforcer’s, but knowing it, and dealing with the fact
that I had actually done it, was an entirely different story.

Jared stood in front of me, glaring at me
for the entire five minutes it took for the imprint to stick without my skin
completely healing the scar.
 
Disappointed didn’t even come close to describe the look he gave me, and
it made me feel sick.
 
Was I really that
weak?
 
Maybe he was right when he had
called me soft.
 
It was clear that he
sure thought I was.
 
The first chance I
got, I flew back into Aidan’s arms like a lovesick fool.

When Dominic pulled the burning metal away,
Aidan leaned in to kiss me, and I forced myself to move my head, letting his
lips brush my cheek instead of his intended target.
 
Aidan didn’t seem to notice, and I was glad
for it.
 
I backed up a step, putting some
distance between us, and said, “Tell me what you know about the cougars.”

It was a long conversation.
 
Aidan relayed every bit of information he
had, which turned out to be not much more than what I had already known.
 
The part I found most interesting was that no
one had ever met Bruce.
 
Dominic said
that Ray had handled everything when it came to them, and Jared and the
enforcers had never had a need to seek them out.
 
For the most part, the cougars stayed
away.
 
And it was that piece of
information that made me wonder if Bruce was even real.
 
The way my dad had spoken in the video, it
was as if the cougars were his.

I did a lot of pacing, mostly to keep
myself away from Aidan.
 
I was pretty
sure that what I was planning to do was going to hurt me more than him.
 
Even so, I knew I’d spend every minute I had
regretting it if I let him think I was okay with everything that had happened
between us.

I wondered how I didn’t know that my father
was a
werecougar
.
 
The thought of living with the enemy my whole
life made me feel sick.
 
And then I spent
some time thinking about how the enemy had changed.
 
Only a week ago, I would have sworn that it
was the pack, and now, everything in me wanted to protect them.
 
They were mine.
 
My wolves.
 
My life.

When an idea hit me, I almost laughed.
 
It was more from nerves than anything else,
but I managed to hold it in as I divulged my thoughts to our little group.
 
The idea was simple: let Dad think Tiffany
won.
 
We had all come to the same
consensus.
 
We needed to buy some time to
track the cougars.
 
We knew Dad wanted to
use me, but we didn’t have a clue for what.
 
And I didn’t really think he was actually out
recruiting.
 
Not when he
thought Tiffany was going to send some wolves to him if she won.

Aidan and I took turns calling him.
 
I put on a big show of being heartbroken,
although it wasn’t that hard.
 
My heart
was, after all, completely shattered.
 
And when Aidan called him, he even agreed to mate me with one of the
enforcers.
 
When it was all said and
done, Dad promised to try and stall, giving Aidan a few days to settle in with
his new mate, and Aidan swore he’d call as soon as he had a plan to deal with
the pack of cougars.

Aidan leaned back in his chair, folding his
arms across his chest.
 
His forehead
scrunched a little as he thought, and he scrubbed at his face.
 
“Okay, we’ve bought ourselves a few
days.
 
You guys can go,” he said, waving
a dismissive hand.
 
“Jade and I need to
discuss this and we’ll call a meeting when we have a plan together.”

Crap!
 
That was the last thing I
needed.
 
One on one time with Aidan.
 
I wasn’t strong enough, not yet, not when
every part of me wanted to pretend as if nothing happened.
 
“Wait,” I said, before anyone had a chance to
leave.
 
Everyone froze, and I glanced
back at Aidan.
 
“Aidan?” I said,
cautiously, stepping back from him, and I met him straight on, squaring my
shoulders and stoning my face.
 
I took a
deep breath, and then another and another, trying to calm my nerves.
 
It wasn’t working.
 
My inner-wolf fought me, and my heart started
to crack again.
 
My palms were sweating,
and my stomach twisted into painfully tight knots.
 
“We need to find them before we can do anything
else,” I said in a rush.

Aidan watched me with confusion marring his
gorgeous face.
 
He arched a questioning
brow, folded his arms over his chest, and leaned further back in his chair.

I shook out my trembling arms, and before I
lost every bit of my nerve, I blurted, “Aidan, I’ll be the alpha female of this
pack, but I can’t be your mate.”

The silence was thick in the air.
 
No one moved, no one breathed.
 
I glanced back at Jared.
 
I didn’t mean to and I was sure it would give
everyone the wrong impression, especially him, but as I met his eyes, I was
glad I had.
 
He gave me an encouraging
smile, and nodded his silent approval, and I hated how much that approval
steadied me.
 
“And I’m going to join the
enforcers,” I said, looking back at Aidan, focusing on his chest so I didn’t
have to see if I was hurting him or not.
 
Either way, I knew I couldn’t handle it.
 
“I want to help find the bastards.”

“Jade,” Aidan said, uncertainty in his
voice.
 
He pushed back his chair and
stood up, taking a few steps toward me.
 
I stupidly looked up then, and wished I hadn’t.
 
A swarm of emotions flew across his eyes,
devastation being the most prominent.
 
But
he also looked … scared … no, more than scared … terrified.
 
“Jade, what are you doing?”

“You were right,” I said, putting my hands
up in a desperate plea for him not to come any closer.
 
“I know nothing about you and what I do know,
I don’t really like.”

“Jade, have you lost your mind?” Dominic
barked.
 
He was furious.
 
His fists clenched, and his neck tensed.
 
He started toward me, red streaking his face
and settling in his cheeks.

“Careful, beta,” Jared said with a
laugh.
 
He grabbed Dominic’s shoulders,
pulling him to a stop.
 
“My little kitten
has claws.
 
You don’t want to get too
close.”

I shot Jared a murderous look.
 
Kitten
was seriously worse than
little girl
.
 
And really, this wasn’t the time for his
stupid pet names.

“Jade, please …” Aidan whispered, ignoring
them, and bringing my attention back to him.
 
I almost cracked.
 
Walking away
from him was by far the hardest thing I’d ever done.
 
Everything in me wanted him … needed
him.
 
My inner-wolf stirred in my
stomach, and tears bit at my eyelids.
 
I
quickly blinked them away, but by the broken look on Aidan’s face, I didn’t do
it fast enough.
 
The problem was I knew I
couldn’t live with letting him think that I was okay with all the bullshit he
had put me through.
 
I wasn’t okay with
it, and I really didn’t know if I ever would be.

I turned away from him then.
 
I had to.
 
If I didn’t, I knew I would have caved, and right then, caving wasn’t an
option.
 
“Beck, can you organize the team
and start tracking them?” I asked.
 
“I
know Jared should be doing it, and I’m sorry to dump this on you, but I want
him to take me home for appearances, just in case my mom’s in on this.
 
Maybe we can get someone watching her?”

Beck grinned, and cut me a knowing kind of
look, and the blood rushed from my cheeks.
 
I hadn’t meant to give any of them the impression that I wanted it to be
Jared, because I really didn’t care which one of the enforcers it was.
 
He just seemed like the most logical option,
or at least that’s what I tried to tell myself.
 
In a rush, trying to cover it up, I said to Beck, “Or Jared could do it,
and you could take me home.”

Beck didn’t get a chance to answer.
 
“I’m taking you,” Jared growled with a
possessive edge.

I glanced back at Aidan then, hoping to see
something, anything other than the pain I was causing.
 
I did, but what was on his face now was far
worse.
 
His eyes were lined with gold,
and his glare was fixed on Jared.
 
Hot
jealousy spiked through the air, suffocating and thick.
 
His fingertips were clawed, and he ground his
teeth so hard that I could hear the enamel grating together.
 
God I hated being able to smell their
emotions.
 
It was as if nothing was
secret anymore.
 
Could he smell my
heartbreak just as I could his?

“I’ll get the team together,” Beck said,
stepping in front of me.
 
He gave me a
warm smile that looked completely out of place on him, and then wrapped me in a
hug.
 
“Welcome to the team.”
 
And then for my ears only, he whispered,
“You’re doing great.
 
I can barely smell
your nerves, or anything else coming off you.”

I froze, stunned at what he’d said.
 
He let me go and winked at me.
 
I smiled a little, wondering if he had any
idea how much his reassurance meant to me.
 
Maybe the enforcers weren’t as completely heartless as I thought.
 
He chuckled then, and I groaned.
 
“Beck, don’t you dare get all mushy on me.”

He elbowed me playfully, and then turned to
Aidan.
 
“You have any issues with the
order?”

“Go ahead,” Aidan snapped through clenched
teeth.
 
Marcy jumped and Erika
grimaced.
 
But Dominic … Dominic just
stared at me with fierce disappointment and clear disapproval.
 
I knew he was just itching for everyone to
leave so he could give me one of his lectures.
 
And I realized something.
 
I
didn’t want to hear it.
 
I didn’t care if
I ever talked to him or Marcy again.
 
This was the last time I was going to let the two of them play me to get
what they thought was best for me.
 
This
time, they’d gone too far.

“As for you two,” I said, pointing at Marcy
and Dominic, “stay away.
 
I don’t want to
see you guys for a while.”

Marcy started to cry and garbled something
that sounded like an apology, but Dominic didn’t show an ounce of emotion.
 
He was a mask of cold indifference as he went
to Marcy and looped his arm around her, dragging her out the door.

I started to follow.
 
I needed to get out of there, away from
Aidan, and I desperately wanted a nice hot shower.
 
I didn’t even get halfway across the office
when Aidan asked, “Jade, can we talk?
 
Alone?”

I gave him what I was sure was a sad smile
and shook my head.
 
“I can’t do this
right now, Aidan.
 
With my dad and the
cougars and everything … I just can’t.
 
I’ve appointed Erika as my beta.
 
She’ll spread the word about what happened or you can get Dom to do
it.
 
But please, work through her for
now.
 
I need some space.”

He let his scent trickle out, just a soft
brush, and I stood stiff, wishing he would stop.
 
He must have noticed my effort not to throw
myself at him, because he smiled … a little, and he pulled it back
instantly.
 
Jared took my hand, and Beck
took the other, and I let them, thankful for the support, and as I left, I
couldn’t stop the tears from finally breaking through and trailing down my
cheeks.