Deadly Descent (15 page)

Maybe.
But the fact remained Ty had died because she hadn’t made it to the target area that night.
“If I’d known it was him, I would have gone.” She looked up at Cam.
“I swear to God, I would have gone no matter how bad it was out there.”

“And you might have died trying to get to him,” he said quietly.
“Sorry, babe, but you can’t solely take the blame for what happened.
You would have gone if there’d been any chance of getting there in one piece.
I know you, and I know you’d do damn near anything to get your wounded out.
But you’re forgetting something else.
Ty knew the score, Dev.
We all do when we earn the right to wear the maroon beret.
He knew what his job was, even when he was out there wounded.
And he wouldn’t have blamed you for scrubbing the mission, let alone for his death.
If you don’t believe that, then you didn’t know Ty.”

Devon swallowed the tears threatening to erupt.
“All I can think about is him dying alone out there, listening for the sound of rotors.
And then you having to bring his body home.”

He took her hand, noticing the clenched knuckles.
“You and I did what we had to, and so did he.
All any of us can do is do our duty, and yours was to protect your crew and your aircraft.
You did the responsible thing, Dev.
The only thing you could have done in that situation.”

Responsible, yes.
But at the cost of the lives of the wounded she’d inadvertently left stranded.
When she’d later found out just how much her decision had cost, she’d made a vow to herself not to make the same mistake again.
And she wouldn’t.
Unless conditions were bad enough for takeoff to guarantee suicide, she was never scrubbing a mission again.
“It’s…hard for me to live with,” she admitted in a strained whisper.

He squeezed her hand, giving her his reassurance and warming her cold skin.
“I understand.
I wish I knew what else to say, but in the end it doesn’t matter what I think.
You’re going to have to forgive yourself if you’re ever going to get past this.
You can’t keep holding on to this, or it’ll destroy you.”

Keeping her fist clenched, she looked down at the concrete floor.
He was right, she knew that in her heart.
But she wasn’t ready to forgive herself yet.
She didn’t know if she ever could.

“Devon?” a soft voice called out.

Through swimming eyes she looked over her shoulder at Honor as she approached.
The other woman gave her an apologetic smile and stood near the Chinook the crew was moving out of the hangar.
“Sorry, but someone’s coming, and…” She let it trail off, her expression uncertain.

“It’s okay.
Thanks.” Hating to sever the link, she pulled her hand free of Cam’s grasp.

“Guess I should get going,” he said, taking a step away.
Her need to reach out for him was strong and she had to fight to keep her arm at her side.

There were so many things she needed to say to him, but this was the wrong time and place.
Once again she’d have to wait and pray she got another chance to tell him how she felt.
“Be careful out there.”

He gave her a gentle smile.
“I will.” His hand came up, and he wiped at the tears gathered on her lower lashes.
“Stay safe and warm, baby.”

Her throat was too tight to speak.
She nodded.
But when he started walking away, a bolt of fear sliced through her.
“Wait!”

He turned back to her, and without thinking she took off her necklace and ran up to him.
“Here.” She pressed the quarter she’d had soldered to the chain into his palm.
Cam stared at it, unmoving, and she knew he understood that he held the twin of the coin he’d placed on Ty’s casket.
“He gave it to me before he deployed,” she told him.
“I think you should have it now.”

“I don’t know if I want it.” More than the words, the reluctance in his voice told her how uneasy he was about this.

“Please take it.”

He met her eyes.
“You sure?”

“Yes.
I’d feel better knowing you had it.”

“All right.
Put it on for me, then.”

She took it from him, and fastened it around his sturdy neck with unsteady hands.
Helpless to stop herself, she laid her hand over it, pressing it into the thick muscle beneath his desert camo uniform.
“Now we’ll both be watching over you, to make sure you stay safe.”

Something flashed in his eyes.
“Dev.”

She shook her head.
“Just come back, okay?”

“I’ll be fine.
Be back before you know it.”

She prayed he was right.
“There’s one more thing.”

“Yeah?” That trademark crooked smile curved his lips.
“What’s that?”

Gathering her courage, she swallowed past the lump in her throat and held his gaze.
It wasn’t how she’d envisioned telling him, but she couldn’t let him go without saying the words.
“I’m falling in love with you.”

The smile died, his amused expression dissolving into shock.
“What?”

“Yeah.
So you have to come back so I can finish the job.”

A jumble of emotions swirled in the blue depths of his eyes as he stared at her.
Then he broke into a wide smile and brought a hand up to cradle her cheek.
“I’m coming back, sweetheart.
I wouldn’t miss that chance for the world.”

Shoot, now she was on the verge of crying.
“Honor?” she called.

“Yeah?” Her friend answered from somewhere near the doors.

“Look away for a minute, will you?”

“Uh…sure.”

Cam grinned as she lifted on her toes to kiss him.
His wonderful arms surrounded her.
The few days’ worth of stubble on his face rasped against her skin, adding to the heat.
She gripped the back of his head with both hands to hold him close as she kissed him, losing more of herself with every second.
All too soon he pulled away.
The fire burned like banked flames in his eyes.

“I’m glad you told me.” His long fingers slipped around her nape and squeezed gently.
“Because honestly?
I think I fell a long time ago.”

Was he saying he loved her?
Before she could even form the words to respond he dropped a tender kiss on her parted lips and pulled away.
“See you soon.” He disappeared out the hangar doors.

Devon watched him go, jumping when Honor put a consoling arm across her shoulders.
“It’s been a hell of a long day for all of us.” Her voice was soft, full of warmth.
“And before I go back to the hut, I just thought I’d mention I happen to have a key to one of the storage sheds.” The silver key winked in the lights when she held it up.

Frowning, Devon took it from her.
“What—”

She lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Unless there’s an emergency, everyone’s done in here for the night.
You’d have some privacy if you wanted it.” She added a conspiratorial wink.

A hot blush stole up Devon’s cheeks.
“Oh.” She cast a glance at the doors Cam had just disappeared through.
He had probably less than twenty minutes now.

“I know how hard it is.
Go.
Catch him before it’s too late.”

Sparing Honor an appreciative smile, Devon squeezed her hand.
“I owe you one.”

“Nah.
I’m just happy to help.
Now go get him.”

Damn right she would.

He hated walking away from her with so much unsaid between them.
This last time had felt like he was ripping off his own skin.
Cam glanced up at the night sky and the few stars twinkling between cracks in the cloud deck.
Who knew what the next mission had in store for him?

“Cam!”

He stopped in midstride at the sound of Devon’s voice and turned around.
She ran through the hangar doors and straight toward him.
Hiding his surprise, he walked back and met her partway.
“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said breathlessly, staring up at him.
“But I need you to come with me for a few minutes.”

He sighed and checked his watch.
“I’d love to honey, but—”

“Please?”

He had less than twenty five minutes until isolation started, but he couldn’t say no when she was gazing up at him like that.
“All right.
Where to?”

She grabbed his hand and towed him past the hangar to a storage facility.
He didn’t protest, but he kept an eye out for anyone wandering around and prepared to pull his hand away.
His eyebrows went up when he saw the key in her hand.
She had it in the lock and a second later the door swung open.
Without a word she dragged him inside and shut the door.
The place was crowded with aircraft parts and smelled like axel grease and hydraulic fluid.
Though his body pulsed with sudden arousal, he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“This is romantic.”

“Works for me.”

“God I love how low maintenance you are.”

She reached up to thread her hands into his hair, and he stopped laughing.

Cam’s heart pounded against his ribs when her lips settled on his.
He couldn’t hold back the groan of need at the feel of her warm mouth trembling slightly beneath his.
His hands coasted up the narrow line of her back and then he wrapped his arms around her to bring her up flush against him.
Her lips parted on a gasp and he gently ran his tongue over them.
His body tightened painfully when she opened and let him inside.

He explored gently, savoring the velvet softness of her tongue against his, loving the desperate tension that gripped her, the bite of her hands on his shoulders.
She pushed closer against him, flattening her breasts against his chest, wringing another groan out of him.
He threaded his hands in her beautiful hair and closed his fingers around fistfuls of it, holding her still as he settled in deeper.
Her answering moan was full of hunger and need and it rocked him to his core.

He turned them and pressed her back against the plywood wall, one hand moving between her shoulder blades to cushion her as he moved a thigh between hers and leaned in close.
She gasped into his mouth and shivered in his arms.

“Cam,” she whispered shakily, clutching him tighter.
Fighting to get closer.

He lifted her, settling her astride his thigh, swallowing the soft whimper she made, angling his head to get deeper.
His fingers sought the smooth skin of her throat, trailing down the side to the neckline of her T-shirt, following the path with his mouth, his tongue.
He nibbled and licked his way to the sensitive spot where her neck joined her shoulder, then scraped his teeth over it.
She rewarded him with a soft cry of pleasure, igniting every possessive instinct in him.

Gently gripping the nape of her neck with one hand, he slid the other upward over her belly to brush his fingers against the curve of her breast.
She lifted into his touch, spine curling to bring his hand closer to where she needed it.
“There.
Touch me, please.”

Steeling himself, he cupped the soft mound of her breast with his palm and lightly stroked his thumb across her rigid nipple.
Devon jerked in his arms and whimpered, attacking his mouth with hers.
Holding her steady as he kissed her, Cam caressed back and forth over her nipple, swallowing her cries while he rubbed the length of his cock between her open thighs.
He could come right now, just from doing this.
Just from the incredible heat and feel of her, and knowing she wanted him so much.
She was so goddamn soft and responsive.
He’d always known it would be like this with her.
Hot and explosive and so damn good it ripped away the civilized part of him to expose the raw, dominant hunger inside.

He wanted to pull her shirt up and shove her bra out of the way so he could pleasure her taut nipples with his mouth.
He wanted to lick and suck them until she was mindless, writhing against the length of his cock and begging for release.
Wanted to slide her pants down, rip open his fly and enter her with one smooth thrust, watching her eyes go hazy and blind from pleasure.
Wanted to move slow and deep while he stroked her wet clit, and make her scream into his mouth when she came.