Deadly Dosage (52 page)

     “Okay.
This time I have my supplies with me, including fresh clothes!”

     I
climbed out of bed and grabbed my duffel bag from the floor. “Be out in fifteen
minutes.”

     “Out
doesn’t translate into ready to go, does it?”

     “Only
if I leave the house in a towel.”

     “That’s
what I thought.”

When it
was his turn to hop in the shower, I asked if I could use his computer. I was expecting
an e-mail from Spring regarding our last dress fitting.

     I
sat down in his office and fired up the computer. His was much faster than mine
was. I scanned the headlines and logged into my e-mail account. Two messages:
one from springblossoms and one from peacocklover. Peacocklover? Spam? Or was
it Donna’s idea of a joke? I skipped Spring’s message and clicked on the other.
Probably not wise in case it was a virus, but curiosity got the best of me.

     It
was an e-card. I clicked to open. It was a talking bunny card.

“
To my favorite aunt from your
loving nephew, Sam. Sunny, I broke the news to Sherri, but I think she’s still
confused.

 Love you sweetheart, Sam.

 P.S. What’s with the thong?
Thought you hated wearing butt floss?”

I laughed and forwarded the message to Autumn. She’d get a
kick out of it. I had to give him credit though. He found an angle in
everything.

     I
read Spring’s message, logged out and shut down the computer. Lloyd was in the
bedroom getting ready, so I went in the kitchen to have a cup of coffee and
wait.

We
enjoyed our egg and hash brown breakfast at a cozy neighborhood restaurant free
from senior citizens for at least the first twenty minutes, after which time
the seniors started filtering in taking up the remaining seats. Soon the
conversations about operations, visiting grandchildren, and food too hard for
dentures drowned out the pleasant music. We couldn’t leave soon enough. Lloyd
took one last sip of his coffee, left the tip and we were out of there. Once in
the car, we decided to take in a show at the cinema, hoping to stay clear of
the ‘hat’ people.

“You’re
kind of quiet tonight, what’s up?” asked Lloyd stroking my hair. He planted a
soft kiss on my head. We were sitting next to each other on his couch, the fire
warming our stocking feet resting on his oak coffee table. Rufus was sniffing
the empty mugs of hot chocolate.

     “Lot
of emotions running around in my head I guess. Exciting weekend.” I smiled at
him and then looked down at my hands in my lap. “My mom called. She’s making
the final arrangements and wanted to know whom my wedding guest will be. She
needs to purchase the tickets in advance to get the best rate.”

     “What
did you tell her?” He asked, brushing my bangs off my forehead.

     “Nothing
yet,” I said gazing into the fire. So far, Lloyd had been phenomenal putting up
with me. I was ninety-nine point nine percent certain I wanted him over Sam but
there was that lingering point one percentage point of doubt. I hated being so
damn indecisive. I took a deep breath, faced him, and asked, “Will you pleasure
me with your company, Lloyd? I promise to save all of the dances for you…and my
bed.”

He took his hand away from my hair and studied my face.
“Summer, that invitation is almost as lovely as you are.”

     His
gaze set my body ablaze. If he was soul searching, he found mine and stole it.
I smiled and turned my attention to Rufus lying in my lap. “So you’ll accept?”

He turned my face towards him. “You’ve waited a long time to
ask me. Something tells me you already asked Sam and he said no.”

     “Yes
and no.”

     He
sat up straighter, putting some distance between us. “Meaning what exactly?”

“Meaning that Nino asked him if he was coming with me when we
went out to eat together the other night. Sam told him it was up to me. So after
I asked him, he said the answer was no, unless I agreed to marry him there.”

 “So what am I, a consolation prize?’ Lloyd jeered.

     “No!
I always wanted to go with you. I still do.”

     “Then
why didn’t you tell Sam you were going with me? He said it was up to you.”

     “Because
I felt trapped. I didn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings in front of Nino and
Spring. Can’t you understand that?”

The corners of his mouth turned downward. “No.”

     “No?”
I asked, both surprised and disappointed. My sudden movement caused Rufus to
flee. “I don’t understand?”

“Stop it, Sunny,” Lloyd said harshly, standing. He ran his
hands through his hair and walked away. He turned back and stared at me with
accusing eyes. “I can’t even believe you still care about him after what we
shared together last night. From the start, you’ve been using Sam as a barrier,
some glass wall between us so you can avoid getting too serious.” He came
forward, his anger subsiding. “Last night, for the first time, you surrendered
your heart to me and it was fucking fantastic. I never felt anything like it
before and I could tell you hadn’t either.

“I can tell you this, Sunny. There are two kinds of guys: Bad
boys like Sam and guys like me. While you were playing the virgin, Sam was
sticking it to every chick he dated, keeping you pristine in the wings for some
imaginary honeymoon. He took advantage of your trust.”

He sat back down on the couch. “Sunny, do you honestly think
a man in love with you, who wants to marry you, is going to date other women
and voluntarily give up having sex with you? To be intimate with someone you
love is the end all be all. I should know. I’m in love with you and there’s no
way in hell I’ll agree to stop making love to you after last night.”

“I don’t want you to. Last night. God, last night was
magnificent. It’s a dream I never want to wake from. I’m still trembling. But
you’re wrong about Sam. He just buries his emotions deeper than you.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes,” I admitted tentatively.

Lloyd’s jaw clenched. As he stood, he flexed his fingers
before forming them into fists that hung at his sides.

“But not the way you think, more like a friend. I’m in love
with
you
. Only
you
hold my heart. Believe me. Please come to
Vegas with me.”  

“No, Sunny.” He began to pace. “Here’s the deal. Break up
with Sam, permanently, or not only am I not going to Vegas with you, we’re
though. Kaput. Got it? I’m not going back to a no-sex relationship and there’s
no way in hell, I’m putting up with you seeing me and screwing Sam on the side.
I won’t have it, Sunny.”

“You need to do some serious thinking before you call your
mother back,” he said crossly.

His words wounded me and I wanted to hurt him back. “I don’t
need time to think. And I wouldn’t go to the wedding with you if you begged me.
And don’t bother trying to call me, because I won’t be home.”

“Now you’re acting childish,” he shot back.

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black!” I pulled my shoes
on roughly. I got up and he pushed me back down on the couch.

“Why won’t you be home? Planning to be with Sam?” he asked
accusingly. “Because you’re so damn concerned about
his
welfare,” he
fumed, his words dripping with sarcasm.

I tried to control myself, but the tears started flowing.
“Yes, I care so damn much about him that I broke up with him on Thursday.”

He looked dumbfounded.

“I told him I was in love with you. I needed to end it with
him, because I wanted to make love to you.”

     The
anger drained from his face.

“I’m sorry, Sunny,” he said apologetically. “I didn’t know.”
He reached for me but I backed away.

“Well, you should have known after last night.” My nose was
running and I needed tissues. I got up, crossed the room to his bathroom, and
blew my nose. I came back with a wad of toilet paper.

My voice was cracking with emotion but I continued. “Damn you.
I did everything I could to make it special. And after that, you thought I’d
jump into bed with Sam, to what? Even the score? Wow, you must hold me in high
esteem.”

I passed him to retrieve my jacket and turned back in the
doorway. “You know, Sam can be a louse, but he always trusted me. I can’t say
the same for you. Seems I made a mistake. Thanks for breaking my heart, Lloyd.
Less than twenty-four hours. That must be some kind of record.”

     I
stomped into his office, grabbed my jacket roughly off a chair, knocking it
over and stormed into the kitchen.

     Lloyd
ran after me. “Sunny, wait.” He grabbed my arm and I shook it off. “You know I
didn’t mean it that way.”

     “Save
it,” I said pulling the door open and walking outside. I dug through my handbag
for my car keys as I walked to my car.

     Lloyd
followed me down the driveway in his socks. “Damn it, Summer, listen to me! I
was out of line. I do trust you. If you weren’t so bloody stubborn you’d hear
me out!”

He stepped on a snow-covered rock. “Ow! Sonofabitch!” He
reached down, grabbed the rock, and slammed it into his metal garbage can
making enough noise to wake the dead.

     I
briefly glanced in his direction. I may have been hurt and angry but I didn’t
want him injured.

“I’m a jealous idiot, okay? I can’t help it. I love you,” he
yelled.

     “I
love you too,” I said crying. “That’s what hurts so much.” I jumped into the
driver’s seat, slammed the door, and started the car. I backed out of his
driveway and burned out. He was still standing outside when I turned out of his
neighborhood.

I let
myself into my apartment and collapsed into the recliner staring off into
space. Two men in my life and no date to Spring’s wedding. Both wanted all or
nothing.

Feeling defeated, I stomped into the kitchen and started
opening cabinet doors. I stopped when I found the barely used bottle of Scotch
Brandi kept on hand for her older dates, and I use the term lightly. I took a
glass out of the sink and poured two fingers. I analyzed the golden liquid
before me for a second or two, and then I gulped it down. It tasted like soap.
I choked, and screwed the cap back on and returned the bottle to its space
inside the cabinet.

     I
pulled off my coat and dropped it on the dining room table along with my scarf
and gloves. The phone rang and I looked at the caller id. Lloyd. The answering
machine clicked on.

“Sunny, please pick up. I want to know you arrived home
safely.”

I answered the phone. “I’m home,” I said angrily, and then
softened my voice, “thanks for caring.” I hung up before he could say anything.
A quick shower and straight to bed. I did not want to think tonight. Tomorrow
would be here soon enough.

Chapter
59

Monday,
March 5th

“Honey
child, you’re in a foul mood,” complained Shantel. “Eat one of these fat-filled
donuts.”

     I
ignored her. “I’m going in the basement. I need to return some files.”

     “Here’s
the key. Don’t worry about them spiders. They’d be afraid to get near you
today.”

     I
gave her a smirk and grabbed the key. I did not want to wait for the elevator
so I took the stairs down. I unlocked the door at the bottom and walked into
the dimly lit room.

     “Boo!”

     I
grabbed my chest. “Damn you, Gus. You scared me half to death.”

     “Yeah.
I love doing that.”

     “So
do sociopaths. You might need a checkup. I think the shrink is making rounds
today.”

     “Good
one. What’s eating you?”

     “Men.”

     “Oh
here we go. You women get a tit in a ringer and right away you blame men for
all your troubles. Let me tell you, Sunny, women cause a lot of heartbreak for
us guys too.”

     “I’m
sure we do. Still, I think I’m swearing off men. Better for my health.”

     “Great.
If you decide to go butch, hook up with Donna. Then you both can come over to
my place and do it for me.”

     I
hit him with my files. “You’re sick, Gus.”

     “Hey
you’re the one that wants to dump men.”

     “They
just always want things on their terms. Are you like that?”

     “You
mean like selecting sexual positions?”

     “Yeah,
Gus, that’s exactly what I meant,” I said with exasperation.

     I
strolled down the aisle in search of the box titled ‘2010 Discharges A-C.’ It
sat precariously on a stack of seven boxes, listing to the left.

     “Here,
let me help you with that,” Gus said and carefully pulled the box down.

     “Thanks.”
I pulled the lid off and tucked away the files I brought with me. “Done.”

     He
put the box back, stacking it neatly in line with the bottom box.

     “Sunny,
can I give you some advice?” He sat on a dusty box.

     “If
it doesn’t cost me anything?”

     “Only
if you use it. Step away. You can’t see the forest through the trees.”

     “That’s
good advice, Gus.” I took fifty cents from my pocket. “You earned a soda.”

     “Anytime,
sunshine.” He smiled and I left.

When I
got back to my office, I called my mom at work. I let her know I was going stag
to the wedding. She seemed disappointed, but thanked me for getting back to her
so quickly. I made a flimsy excuse and hung up when she started asking personal
questions. I didn’t feel like sharing at the moment.   

By the
time I left work, my mood had improved, though not considerably. I walked to my
car, looking down, kicking stones with the toe of my shoe. I beeped my remote,
opened the driver’s side door, and sat down. I looked up and saw a long item
tucked under my windshield wiper.