Deadly Expectations (16 page)

The sun had moved so shade covered the road and its warmth was quickly disappearing.

“So what about the rest of it?”
I asked.

Paul frowned.

“Who is Damian?”

He didn’t say anything.

“I can do a better job of staying out of trouble if I have an idea what’s going on.
 
You’re all armed; so something’s up.
 
After what happened three weeks from now I think I have a good idea how he feels about me.”

He was silent.

“Is the babysitter for my protection,” I demanded, “or to keep me from sneaking around behind the shed?”

“Both,” he said.
 

Something above got my attention.
 
I turned my head up and scanned the blue sky.
 
There was nothing to see but I could feel it.
 
Pressure.
 
Dread.
 
Like the air had become thick with something I didn’t want in my lungs.

“Can you feel it?”
 
I asked Paul.
 
I wrinkled my nose; I could smell it.

He looked up.
 
“Feel what?”

Each inhalation was like breathing syrup.
 
“We have to get inside … something’s coming … can’t you feel it?
 
Pressing on us?”
 
My lips were starting to tingle.

“No … Maybe you overdid it …” He didn’t sound convinced.
 
“You’re turning white. Come on.”

“Wait …” I turned slowly until my back was to him.
 
Suddenly I felt myself flying toward the darkness I knew was off in the distance, hidden by the trees.
 
My pounding heart seemed to knock what little air I had out of my lungs.
 
When I held my hand up to point toward the cabins Paul’s men lived in it trembled.

“From that way,” I whispered.

“South?”
 
Paul asked.
 
“Inside.
 
Now.”
 
He said firmly and took my elbow to pull me along.
 
I couldn’t take my eyes off the sky.
 
I was so angry that I was helpless again.
 
Helpless to fight.
 
Helpless to run.
 
I felt like some crazy balloon he was pulling along through the snow.

“A week … days … at least one man,” I whispered.

I wasn’t breathing any better when he handed me off to Ray.

“She’s having trouble breathing,” Paul told him as he pulled off my coat.

I watched the colourless sky until the door closed behind me.
 
Paul went ahead to the pantry to put my confiscated gun away and Ray took me down to the room at the end of the hall.

“You’re shaking Anna,” Ray said.
 
“What’s going on?”

“I f … feel silly now.
 
It was so strong outside.”
 
My mouth was still a little clumsy with what was left of the numbness.
 
“I couldn’t breath, the air was so thick.
 
It felt like the sky was coming down on me.”

I held my hands out, they still shook.
 
Ray took my wrist and held it still for a moment.

“Your heart’s racing,” he observed.
 
“Sweating?
Dizziness?”

I nodded.

“Okay Kiddo.
 
Let’s lie you down for a while until it goes away.”
 
Ray helped me with my boots and I put my head down.

“Do you remember what you were thinking about before this started?” he asked.

I managed a deep breath.
 
“I was asking Paul about Damian.
 
He wouldn’t say anything,” I told him.
 
“I can’t help Alina if I’m falling apart like this …”

  
“Anna, your body is reacting to the stress and anger you’re feeling about the assault,” Ray said.
 
“It can’t tell that it’s not real, so it’s trying to protect you.
 
Acute episodes like this don’t last too long, but your body could keep trying to cope for a while … a couple of weeks sometimes.”

Ray patted my arm.
 
He stopped Paul at the door and pushed him out.
 
I held my breath to listen.
 

“Symptoms of acute stress,” Ray said.
 
“She could struggle with it for a few days or weeks.”

“She’s as tough as she is stubborn Ray,” Paul said.
 
“But everything’s turned upside down for her now.”
 

Ray sighed.
 
“I know.
 
She’s holding up surprisingly well.”

“She said she saw something in the South … danger, someone coming.” Paul said.
 
“I’m inclined to believe her … I can’t disregard it at any rate.
 
We’re overdue for guests from the east.”

Then they were whispering.

“Okay.
 
You and Denis.
 
Two trucks.
 
Get your supply list ready.”
 
Paul told him.
 
They whispered a while longer before they came in.
 
I felt a lot calmer but the dizziness had been replaced by heaviness and nausea.

“You look more like your old self,” he smiled quietly.
 
“Ray says this isn’t unusual considering what you went through.”

“Yeah,” I said.
 
I was enjoying the gentle rocking as his hand moved on my back and as long as I kept taking deep breaths it didn’t make the nausea any worse.
 

Ray checked my pulse again.
 
“That’s more like what I want to see.
 
You’re safe to sit up now if you want.”

The dizziness didn’t return but the nausea started to build.

“I think I need a minute or two,” I said as the nausea began to head for the point of no return.
 
“Excuse me.”

 
I ran out and up to Paul’s room where I quickly undressed and pulled the bandage off my stomach.
 
I threw up in the shower.
 
The bathroom door open and I was looking down at Ray’s handiwork on my stomach when I noticed Paul watching me from the end of the bed.

“It’s almost pretty,” I said.
 
“It looks like the sun.”

“No Anna.
 
It looks like an eye.”

I tilted my head sideways to look at it in the mirror then looked straight down at it again.
 
“Yeah, you’re right … but from up here it looks like the sun.”

“Are you sure you feel a little better now?” he asked.
 
“I heard you get sick.”

I did.
 
I nodded.
 
I couldn’t see the smudges now.
 
Maybe they’d stopped moving.
 
Maybe it was stress.
 
I went over and sat with him on the bed.

“Adrenaline I think.
 
I feel like I’m running on anger right now,” I said.
 
“So we have some time before dinner?”

“You do,” he said.
 
“I have time before watch then I won’t have to leave you tonight.
 
Did you have something planned?”

“I missed you,” I told him.
 
I took his face in my hands and started to kiss him.
 
“And I need you all to myself for a while.”

“I missed you too.”
 
He said and pulled me over with him but I hesitated and braced my arm keeping myself up.
 
Then my knees came in and my arms around them.

“Hey …,” Paul said softly as he let go but he didn’t move away.
 
“You’re scared.”

I shook my head and wiped my eyes.

“Are you sure you still want to touch me after he marked me up?”

“Awe,” he said, “that doesn’t change a thing.
 
I love you, Sugar.
 
I never thought I would be lucky enough to have such a strong partner in my life … I never thought that the way I live would ever give me a chance to be a father.
 
Now I have both.”

“Partner,” I murmured and rewarded him with a smile.
 
“That sounds almost long term …”

He traced the flames on my arm.
 
I closed my eyes and felt my skin shiver under his fingers as I relaxed and beat him to the mattress.

Chapter 16

“Anna,” Paul’s hand gently rubbed my shoulder.

“Come on, get up.”

“Watch?”
I asked.
 
He said he wouldn’t have to leave.

“No, get dressed … we’re going to
Reno
.
 
You said you need some things and Denis and Ray are going anyway.
 
Can you pack for a couple of days?
 
You can sleep on the way.”
 
He was half dressed already.

“Okay,” I mumbled.

Ray and Denis were already downstairs having coffee.
 
When Paul came into the kitchen I noticed his gun was missing.
 
I put my hands on his hips as he came to sit down with his mug and pointed it out.
 
He held open the sides of his loose jacket and had one under each arm.

“Jesus Paul,” I said.
 
“
We going
to rob a bank?”

He shrugged.
 
“We’re all licensed to carry.”

“That’s not what I was worried about.
 
I’m not licensed to drive so someone is going to have to wait in the get away car with me.”

Paul tried to be serious.
 
“Sorry guys, no banks this trip.”

I leaned over and nudged him with my shoulder.
 
The elbow in the ribs he had coming wasn’t a good idea with the gun there.

“Cowboys …” I muttered.

I hesitated at the door.
 
Nothing seemed wrong.
 
The black smudges to the south appeared to be gone.
 
Maybe it was just the memory of them playing back in my mind that made me feel like they were still there.

Paul put his hand on my back.

“Ready?” he asked.
 
“Need a minute?”

“No,” I told him.
 
“It’s …” Nothing, I thought as I stopped again on the porch, turning my head slightly listening to something far off.
 
My brow furrowed with frustration and I turned my head to try my other ear.

I gasped.
 
I’d been looking where they were last and had looked right past them.
 
Paul got his arms around me as I gently pulled his head down.

“Two groups, closer now, smaller one in front.
 
Not due south … more south-east.”
 

He straightened up and looked.