Deaf (Senses Series Book 2) (8 page)

Chapter 10

Maxx

As I roll over in Logan’s bed I’m surprised when I don’t hit his body.

It’s massive, and it’s really hard to miss.

I pull myself up on my side, rubbing sleep out of my eye, and see that he’s gone.

Logan is never up before me. It’s just a fact. Do you know how many times I’ve had to literally drag his ass out of bed to make sure he got to class on time? I mean drag, by the ankle, off my bed. He’s heavy for the record.

“Logan…” My voice calls out as I grip the light brown sheets closer to my chest. Unhappy to hear no response, I call out again, hoping he’s in his bathroom and just can’t hear me. “Logan…”

Quickly, I hop out of bed and push the bathroom door open only to see that it’s dark and empty on the inside. Looking around the room for something to wear, I settle on the white shirt he wore yesterday and the pair of gym shorts, which are obviously several sizes too big. Confident that’s he’s just downstairs, I rush out of his room and down to the first floor. Concern creeps into my throat when I only see Erin and Luke at the table.

“Morning,” Luke says cheerfully putting his coffee cup down.

“Well don’t you look well rested and freshly fucked.” Erin’s joke gets a short smile out of me.

Why didn’t you tell me to fix my hair before coming down here?

“I take it you two enjoyed your night?” Luke chuckles leaning back in his seat.

“You could say that,” I say as the images of Logan thrusting inside of me heat up my memories and cause my knees to buckle.

You’re a little weak in the knees too huh?

“Hey, have you guys
seen
Logan?” The question causes them to make identical faces of bewilderment.

Not twins, but at times I swear…

“What do you mean have we seen him?” Erin treads carefully. “He’s not in your room?”

“We spent the night in his room.”

“Wow,” Luke says, “I’m impressed.”

“Like those new sheets?” Erin’s question confuses me as I fold my arms across my chest.

“How do you know he has new sheets?”

Without answering she picks up her glass of orange juice. “So he’s really not in his room? Logan’s never up before us.”

“Remember in high school how many times we were almost late waiting for him to drag his ass out of bed.” Luke reminiscences for a minute. “I’m pretty sure that’s why he never joined the football team. They always practiced before he was capable of waking up.”

“It probably didn’t help that he had slept with most of the team’s girlfriends,” Erin adds.

“And Coach Rodgers daughter—”

“Guys!” I interrupt them. “Hate to kick dirt on this little stroll down memory lane, but I’m kind of freaking out right now.”

“Why?” Their question in unison causes an eye roll.

It really is too early for the twin thing!

“Because.” I back out of the kitchen and head towards the front door. “He’s not here.”

I’m wrong. He’s probably here. He probably went out for a morning run. There’s no way he just screwed me and bailed like he does with the other girls. Well, I mean they usually bail, but you know what I’m saying.

Looking out the front window, I feel a knot clot my throat when I don’t see his car in the driveway.

Under my breath I mutter, “No…”

There’s no way he would do this to me. There’s no way he would just say all that shit to me and not mean it.

Quickly, I yank my bag up from its spot by the front door and dig out my cell phone. After keying in the password I read the text that’s waiting. My ears are deaf to the voices that are speaking to me.

Logan: We seriously need to talk Maxx.

My hand lands on the wall beside me as I shut my eyes.

This can’t be happening to me. This can’t be fucking happening to me. This can’t be—

“Maxx!” Luke and Erin yell together from the kitchen.

Turning around I head back towards them, the pit in my stomach expanding at a rapid rate. Luke immediately turns doctor mode on and is up on his feet to help me to the table. “You okay? You look nauseous.” His hand touches my face and neck.

“I got a text message.” I somehow say as I fall into the seat Luke was just occupying.

“And?” Erin doesn’t seem to see where this is going.

“From Logan.”

“What did it say?” Her question is followed by her leaning on the table. “Went to get donuts?”

“It says we need to talk.” The words cause her eyes to bulge forward before she looks down at the table.

In a voice that’s less than convincing she shrugs. “I’m sure that it’s no big deal. I’m sure he just…he just wants to uh…decide on what you guys are doing today. You know, for post Fight Night.”

“If you’re gonna try to persuade me to believe that kinda bullshit could you at least buy it yourself first?” I shake my head as the angst in my veins briskly takes over me.

“I’m sure it’s not what you think,” Luke offers sliding his coffee cup back into his grip.

“Are you? Are you sure?” I snap as I look up at him. “Because I’m not! This is Logan! Those words only mean one thing coming from him!”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, Maxx,” Erin offers fiddling with the necklace around her throat.

“Really? Because we all know Logan isn’t one to stop until he gets what he wants and then he deals with consequences later.”

Luke tries to interrupt. “Maxx—”

“No! Don’t Maxx me! I knew this was too good to be true! I knew he would never just give himself over to me like that. All this was just a big ploy to get me into bed.” My head shakes as I shut my eyes.

That’s fine. Go ahead. Call me stupid. Call me a fucking moron. I deserve it. I deserve every bit of it.

“I think you’re jumping to conclusions,” Luke whispers fidgeting with the string on his pajama bottoms.

He only fidgets when he’s nervous.

“Erin.” My eyes bore into hers. “You know Logan in the way that I don’t because he’s just like you—”

“I can keep it in my pants.”

“Praise the Lord for that,” Luke sighs.

“Erin.” I warn her with a finger. “Be honest with me right now. No sugarcoating. No hoping. No false bullshit. If it was you, and you had sent that text message, what would it most likely mean?”

“Don’t do this.” She shakes her head, her high pony tail swaying back and forth. “Don’t make me do this.”

“Answer. Me.”

After batting her perfectly painted eyelashes she sighs. “It would mean I need to tell you that I made a mistake. That I shouldn’t have said what I did to get what I wanted, but it is what it is.”

Her words cause me to squeeze my eyes closed, hoping to stop the tears that are on the verge of leaking out.
Don’t let them see you cry, Maxx. Don’t
.

“I have to go.” I rise to my feet realizing I’m covered in his clothes. The sudden awareness that I’m cloaked in his belongings turns my stomach over.

I’m gonna throw up…

“Maxx,” Erin calls to me as I shuffle out of the kitchen. “Maxx, wait!”

My body doesn’t slow down or stumble. I have to change, and I have to get the fuck out of this house before he gets back to give me that speech.

Why didn’t you fucking say something to me? How could you let me fall for all of that? How could you just sit back and let me think that I was really different? That I was really special? God, right now…you’re no better than he is. If you’ll excuse me…we’re done here.

Chapter 11

Logan

“Aren’t you glad you showed up?” I slug Dean in the shoulder and smile brighter than I ever have.

Can’t help it. Being inside of Maxx changes a person. Oh, shut up. I know I’m acting like a pussy whipped chump.

“Yeah.” He pulls off his gloves. “I didn’t think this was gonna be as much fun as training with you, but it was.”

“Yeah, knocking around kids your own age has that effect.” I ruffle his dark brown hair before chuckling. “And you need a fucking haircut, Kid.”

Dean nudges me off. “You’re more cheerful than…well ever.”

I flip the kid off before I wave goodbye, acknowledging the other teens leaving from class.

You know, when I agreed to do this awhile back I knew it was gonna be a pain in the ass, but I didn’t actually think I’d enjoy myself. In fact, teaching these kids what Oliver has taught me, and what I wished someone would’ve taught me at their ages, is really fucking cool. But don’t tell anyone I said that, okay?

It’s badass the way the class is set up for the kids to train at their own rate and pace. To ask for advice or just observe. There’s no pressure, and it’s all about self discipline, one of the most important factors in MMA.

In life too if you wanna get all hippietastic on me.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’ve got a girl like Maxx on your side.”

“And in your bed?” His addition causes me to slug him in the shoulder again, a little harder than the first time. “Ouch.”

“Watch your mouth, Kid.” I drape a towel around the back of my neck as he unscrews the lid to a water bottle. After a moment I ask, “You want me to drive you home?”

A very distinct look slithers onto his face. “Uh…I was just gonna stick around here for awhile.”

“Uh-huh.”

I can’t tell you how many times I said bullshit like that when Luke would offer to drive me home. I’d either say that or insist he take me by Maxx’s. Hm. My Maxx. Sounds good right? Don’t you like the ring it has to it?

“Dean.” Saying his name causes him to stop drinking.

“Yeah?”

In a lower tone I ask, “How often a week does your old man tear into you?”

With sarcasm he shrugs. “How much has he been drinking?”

My heads nods. “Been there.” My new information produces a look of relief on his face. “Your mom?”

“Left and never looked back.” Tossing the bottle back in his bag he asks, “You?”

“Dead.” When he raises his eyebrows I make sure to continue. “Both of them.”

His voice lightly chuckles. “You really are unbreakable huh?”

“Nah,” I insist. “Just had a different kind of family to help keep me from breaking.” He nods and the look on his face reminds me of the longing I once had on my own when I used to see Luke and Erin’s parents hug them every time they came home. “Hey, Kid…”

“Yeah?”

“You can crash at my place tonight.” The offer just rolls off my tongue.

Holy shit. Did I really just say that?

“Nah.” Dean shakes his head. “I can’t…I mean that’s real nice and all but—”

“You’re not sleeping against this building another night. Or on a park bench. Or under a tree.”

“How do you—”

“I told you, Kid. Been there.” Snatching up my bag I toss it over my shoulder. “Look I gotta go for now. Gonna take my girl to lunch and catch a movie, but I’ll be back to pick you up this evening. Got it?”

His mouth goes to argue, but he shuts it tight when the stone cold look on my face doesn’t waver. Instead he nods. “Thanks, Logan.”

I give him a hard pat on the back. “No problem, Kid. I’ll see if Will has any extra work for you to do while you hang around.”

As I stroll away from him I see Will at the counter, this time he’s filling out forms. He glances up to see me approaching and immediately he gives me all of his attention. “Hey Logan, thanks again for coming in early for me today. I wasn’t exactly planning on my kid spiking a fever at 3 a.m. But what can you do, ya know?”

“I don’t.” I say pulling my keys out of my pocket. “But I’ll take your word for it.”

“Heard you destroyed the other guy last night. Hollywood or something?”

“Hollywood shoulda stayed in Hollywood.” Dean’s voice joins the conversation.

It’s like having a talking shadow.

My head turns to him. “You weren’t there.”

“Nah. But I saw it on You Tube at a friend’s.” He shrugs.

“Barely a fight, Will,” Dean informs him. There is excitement and admiration dripping from his voice. I give the kid a look over and notice for the first time that he’s even dressed like me in his baggy gray gym shorts and white t-shirt, exactly what I’m wearing.
Holy shit. I have a mini me
. “There’s no one who packs a punch like Unbreakable.”

“I know,” Will assures him. “I was here watching and helping when he was just a scrawny know nothing kid like yourself.”

Dean cracks a smile and I sigh. “Speaking of, I gotta jet for awhile. Think you can find something for the kid to help out with ‘til I get back?”

Surprise shows on Will’s face but he does his best to hide it. “Yeah. I can find some work for him. No problem.”

“Thanks.” I toss him a nod and turn to Dean. “Stay out of trouble, got it?”

“Got it.”

“And if he offers you a beer take it and pretend it never happened, but if he offers you a shot of whiskey, don’t take it. You’ll thank me later,” I offer before I head towards the front door.

“Whiskey’s not that bad, Kid.” Will’s voice is the last thing I hear before I exit.

Pulling out my cell phone I’m disappointed when there’s no word from Maxx.

You think she’s still passed out in my bed? I mean I did wear her out pretty good last night, but she’s always been an early kind of person. When else would she have time to eat all that damn cereal?

Once I’m in my car I toss my cell in the seat beside me and start it. I’ve got one more stop to make before I pick Maxx up for lunch. With the music on low, and the sound of my engine roaring, I lean back in my seat. This is probably the most relaxed I’ve ever been.

I’ve got my girl. I’ve got my job. I’m saving a kid from ending up like me. What’s there not to be relaxed about? For the first time in my entire life I think I might not end up like the rest of the Kellar men. And it’s okay if you wanna cheers to that my friend. I plan on it.

I stop at the grocery store to grab Maxx some red roses.

Chicks like those right? I’m guessing. I’ve never actually bought them before.

I make sure to pick the ones already in a vase since I’m not sure if we even have a vase in our house.

No idea the last time anyone got flowers.

With the bright red roses lying against my gray leather seats I head home. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she gets them.

When did I turn into this steaming pile of pussy? When did I trade my man card in for the vag between my legs? Tell me this is at least a little normal when you fall for a girl? You start doing weird shit like this? Hey, at least I’m not getting her name tatted on me. Well…at least not yet.

***

I let myself in through our front door, curious as to why Maxx’s car is missing. I toe off my shoes, and drop my gym bag. Heading towards the living room, I’m a little surprised when I see Luke stretched out in the recliner knitting, which is something he only does when he’s really stressed out.

Yeah. The nurse knits. I know how much you wanna make a bunch of jokes, but just know I’ve already made them. As has his sister.

Erin looks up in a panic, and I immediately notice the lack of makeup on her face and the baggy clothing. Her signs of stress.

“What’s wrong?” I tensely enter the room. “Haven’t seen either of you this stressed out since they wanted to challenge Luke’s ability to be your guardian after your parents died.”

“Where the fuck have you been, Kellar?” Erin’s voice is catty and downright bitchy.

Did I miss something?

“The gym.” I want to fold my arms across my chest but I can’t with this vase full of flowers, which probably isn’t helping me look any more manly. “I’ve been helping with the teen program there a few times a month to help cover for someone.”

“Why didn’t we know this?” Luke’s knitting slows down as he looks up at me.

“I don’t know, Grandma. Maybe because I didn’t think it was fucking relevant.”

“You had to be there early?” Erin whispers, almost like she’s dying for the answer to be yes.

“Yeah. Will’s kid was sick so he was running late.” I answer my annoyance level rising. “And what’s with all the questions? Have you two been watching Law and Order again?”

“Are those flowers for Maxx?” Luke’s voice sounds sad.

“Yeah, but her car is gone. Do you guys know where she is?”

Sitting up on her knees, Erin stretches her arm around the back of the couch. “Why did you send Maxx a text message that said that you needed to talk this morning?”

“Is there anything you two don’t know?” I grunt in frustration. “Do we not have any privacy in this house?” The two of them give me a sarcastic look.

Oh so glad their brother sister routine is in full swing.

“Because we need to talk. We didn’t really get the chance to last night. I need to tell her something.”

“Which is?” Erin pushes.

“I’d rather tell her first.”

Luke drops his needle. “You’re gonna tell her you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

You guessed that already too, right?

I answer with a nod.

Both of them mutter, “Oh shit.”

“Hence the flowers.” I show them. “Isn’t that what guys do for girls they love? I have no clue. I’ve never done this before.” The two of them still have their jaws agape so I keep talking. “Are these the good kind?”

“Oh no…” Erin’s eyes shut as she shakes her head.

“Wait, they suck?” Panic crawls into my voice. “Shit! I’ll go get different ones. Which ones? Hurry! I’ll do it before Maxx gets back.”

“Kellar,” Luke’s voice speaks up. “It’s not the flowers…”

“The flowers are beautiful,” Erin squeaks.

“Then what is it? You two are starting to irritate me.”

Erin glances back at her brother and Luke lowers the recliner down. “It’s Maxx.”

Dread sweeps across my body. “Is she okay?”

“Hard to say.” He swallows and leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. “She left.”

“What do you mean she left?”

Erin parts her lips to speak but stops herself.

Horror rushes through me faster than it ever has before. In a loud yell I growl, “What do you mean she left?”

“He means,” Erin speaks again. “She left. She got your text, added it to the fact that you snuck out of the house first thing this morning, drew the conclusion that you regretted last night, and left.”

The words that fall out of her mouth don’t seem to register as I shake my head. “Erin, what the fuck are you saying?”

“I’m saying.” She lets out an exasperated sigh. “She’s
gone,
Logan.”

Hearing the repetition of the words that I know will be haunting me for the rest of my life, I turn and chunk the vase at the wall closest to the kitchen, the glass shatters causing Erin to shriek.

I fall for
one
girl.
One
time! One fucking time! And this is what I get?! I do the right thing, I say the right thing, and she just fucking leaves? She just fucking leaves! Walks away from everything without waiting for an explanation? See. I can’t ever be with someone like her. It’ll never work. Clearly. Looks like you were wrong. Hell, looks like we both were.