Authors: Alan Cumyn
The house was groaning and moaning a lot. Like it was the Bog Man's house in the woods.
Leonard said Dad you have to get the Invisible Enshurince Man!
But Dad said no it's all right.
But it's trapped in your ofï¬ce! Leonard said.
Dad said to just leave it.
But you did all that work!
Neighbors were there by then and making a big fuss and everybody said look at that and what a miracle nobody was hurt and still I wanted to go into the basement.
To get the box with your letters.
But then Uncle Lorne came in his truck and there was nothing anybody could do in the dark so we drove away.
Love,
Owen
Deer Sylvia,
We are staying with Uncle Lorne and Ant Lorraine. It is 4 grownups and 5 kids and 1 baby and 2 dogs. Their dog is Rex who is hard on Sylvester. Just 1 growl and Sylvester ï¬aps back his ears and grins stupidly and his tail gets all tangled between his legs so Rex growls again. Sadie grabs Rex's collar and says his name slowly and Sylvester wiggles around and worries which is very embarasing.
We are sleeping in every bit of the house. The boys are on the ï¬oor in the parlor which is the living room and the girls are sleeping upstairs in the hallway and Mom and Dad are in Sadie and Eleanor's room and Uncle Lorne and Ant Lorraine are in their room and Fillus gets her own room because she still might go off any moment like a bomb.
I can't stop thinking about the old house. Dad said the Enshurince is going to bring a bulldozer to ï¬atten it and we will begin all over again with just money. We haven't even started school yet because we don't know where we are going to be living. It will take some time for a new house to be built and anyway do we still want to live in the country when Mom works in Elgin all the time? So maybe we are moving to Elgin!
But it's not going to be right until I go into the basement and get back all your letters. I don't want the bulldozer mucking them and the mud just sliding over them and I don't want some other house built on top of them!
And Dad shouldn't give up either on all his work just because 1 stupid publisher wrote a bad letter.
Yours,
Owen
Deer Sylvia,
Here is our plan.
Andy and Leonard and me are going to sneak out of the house tonight and walk back over the bridge and along the highway to our house. We are going to get back everything important before the bulldozer buries it. Andy is going to get the big kitchen torch ï¬ashlight and Leonard will get Mom's jewelry box and I am going to get The Invisible Enshurince Man and then I will get your letters.
Then the house can fall down if it wants to.
Owen
PSST! I borrowed the bagpipes today and stood out in the ï¬eld behind the chicken house and did the Lad's Lamant as loud as I could against the wind. Did you hear it?
How is your class this year?
I think probably you saw the picture of the house in the newspaper and then you didn't know where I was so that's why you didn't call. But when you read these letters you'll know all about it.
Deer Sylvia,
The ï¬rst thing that went wrong was all the dogs started barking. Not only Sylvester and Rex but the dogs 2 farms down and even across the river. So we had to get back in our sheets fast and pretend to be asleep even though Sylvester dropped his rock on Leonard's head.
At least Sylvester was smart enough to take what he loved from the wreck of the old house.
Then Sadie got up and she said I know what you are going to do.
Andy said â nothing! Go to sleep!
But Sadie said you can't go unless I make Rex quiet.
Andy said â we aren't going anywhere!
But Sadie said I won't make Rex quiet unless you let me come too.
The hole house was quiet then again and even Eleanor was asleep. Sadie was in her nightie but had her boots on.
I want to go in the wrecked house too â she said.
So we snuck out the back with Rex and Sylvester and Sadie keeping them quiet. It was not warm but not a cold night either just black and full of stars and a big moon.
It was a bit funny walking in our bathrobes and pajamas. I had my running shoes but no sox and Leonard had his boots and Andy had the shoes from Mom's hotel and lots of sox.
As soon as we got on the highway we knew we were in trouble because the ï¬rst car that went by didn't go by but stopped. Then a man got out and said â what are you kids doing out in your pajamas?
He had a dark hat like a bad guy in the movies and his hands were even bigger than Dad's.
Nothing â Andy said. We were at a friend's house getting ready for Halloween.
It just slipped out like he knew exactly what to say.
Halloween! â the man said. It's not for ages yet.
We're just practicing â Sadie said.
Get in the car and I'll drive you home â the man said.
Andy said â no it's all right we're not far it's just over there! And he pointed nowhere.
The man said â get in the car!
And he put his hands on his hips like there was a gun in his pocket. Then Andy yelled RUN! and the dogs started barking.
Andy ran back into the ditch and through the water and up the other side and we all followed after him but in different directions the way mice do when you ï¬rst turn on the light. I went down the highway and then into the ditch and Leonard went the other way and the Man grabbed Sadie's hand but she bit him and just kept running.
The dogs went around and around all of us.
The man yelled â hey! And waved his big hands around. He said â you kids! And â I'm going to tell your parents! And â you come out here right now!
Which we didn't.
We just kept going and met up in the woods under an old silver tree.
Leonard said â we have to get home now! He's going to tell our parents!
But Andy said â he doesn't even know who our parents are!
We're almost there â Sadie said.
So we kept going.
The house was sad. Someone had cut up the old oak tree so it was mostly a big pile of sawdust and leaves. The branches were gone but the roots still stood straight up.
Leonard said â we should go home!
Andy said â you stay out here and keep watch and if that man comes bite his other hand!
So then Leonard didn't want to stay outside for anything. He said he'd get the jewelry.
Sadie held my hand when we went toward the house. I didn't tell her to she just did it and then when we found the door was locked and had to go through the window I just helped her and when we were in the house I left her hand where it was. Holding mine I mean. I know the old house better and if she fell we'd have to carry her home.
That's all.
Andy went in the kitchen to ï¬nd the ï¬ashlight.
Sadie and I went in the ofï¬ce to get The Invisible Enshurince Man. It was fat as ever just sitting on the desk.
Andy had the ï¬ashlight. When he zipped it around you couldn't see anything just how bright it was. And all the shadows turned black as night.
Andy said â Leonard! Did you get the jewelry?
Leonard said â I'm having a hard time going up the stairs!
So Andy shone his light all along the hole where there was still part of the tree trapped beside the stairs. It was tree and shadows and more tree and no Leonard.
Leonard where are you? â Andy said.
Sylvester and Rex were barking and it sounded like the hole county would hear any minute.
Here!
Leonard's head was stuck again in the banister!
We ran to him and pulled and pushed but it was no use. He was stuck just as bad as before and now his head was even bigger. So I said I would go down in the basement to get the crow bar just like Dad. I gave The Invisible Enshurince Man to Sadie but she had a hard time even holding it so she put it down on the ï¬oor.
Not there! â I said. It was dirty from some tree mud.
Andy came with me with the torch.
I'm not staying here alone! â said Sadie.
You be with Leonard! â said Andy.
So she held his hand.
Sadie just likes to hold hands a lot.
We went outside again through the window just like it was the haunted house and then we opened the coal shoot doors and slid down. Andy went straight to the work bench and found the claw hammer and the crow bar and Dad's big 2-handed saw in case we needed that. Then the house started moaning and Sadie yelped HELP! HELP!
So Andy ran up with all the tools.
I still wanted to get my box but now it was darker than ever and I had to go on my hands and knees and crawl along. You know how you can feel the pebbles and dirt of the basement sticking into your skin and it's all cold and crawly and I thought what if the house falls down on top of me right now?
It would be hard to explain to anybody what I was doing.
Owen! â Sadie said. She scared me 1/2 to death since she was there all of a sudden standing too close.
Why did you yell Help?
Because Leonard has a nose bleed â she said. Now Andy is bashing him out of the banister.
I could hear the bashing now upstairs.
I stood up and brushed the grit and rocks from my knees and out of my skin. And Sadie looked at me all funny and just kept looking.
What's that? â she said. I had the box under my arm.
Some of the letters were leeking leaking out.
Are they for Sylvia? â she said. And she ran away and out the coal shoot before I even said yes or no.
Owen
Deer Sylvia,
There was more but it takes a long time to write about and now I'm a lot
busyer
busier because we started going to school again. So it's like a big line-up trying to tell you everything.
It started raining on the way back home. That's why the box looks so lumpy now and some of the letters are wrinkled like your skin when you stay too long in the bath. I tried to keep the box inside my bathrobe but when my robe got wet then there was nowhere else to put it.
And Leonard started to bleed on The Invisible Enshurince Man. It was just from his nose and some from behind his ear where the banister held him most. So Andy took the pages and Sadie held the jewelry box and we ran as fast as we could but the rain was faster.
There was no way to get back into the house without a big commotion because the dogs yowelled and barked and anyway Ant Lorraine was up with Fillus so everyone knew we were gone and Uncle Lorne and Dad were out in the truck driving around looking for us and anyway The Invisible Enshurince Man was completely soaked and bleeding ink from one page onto all the others.
You could still read it but hardly. And I knew it wasn't going to be worth it when Dad got back.
Mom said â you children will be the death of me!
And Eleanor just stood in the kitchen like she would never have gone even if she knew and anyway how could we go without her?
But I got your letters.
Then Dad and Uncle Lorne came back. It was almost morning. I don't know if you have seen the sun when it stretches out along the hole line of the earth and makes the trees look black as shadows when it is just before an ordinary day.
That's what I was looking at when the truck came back.
Dad walked in and looked at us in our sheets but still awake and shivery and at the wet pages we spread out on the ï¬oor to dry and his face was gray like he couldn't even bother to whack us.
Leonard said â Dad we got your book!
Dad stopped right where he was and dripped on the ï¬oor.
We saved it! â Leonard said.
Dad was breathing like an angry mad man.
There it is! â Leonard said.
Dad picked up a bunch of the pages and threw them into the ï¬replace. Whoosh! The ashes from the old ï¬res ï¬ew up in the air. Dad dropped on his knees and took some matches and started lighting the pages.
Don't! Don't! â Leonard said, and he was crying. Sadie and Eleanor and Mom and Lorraine came down too and we were all watching too surprised to say anything.
The pages wouldn't light. They were too wet!
Then Uncle Lorne went over and put his hands on Dad's and said â all right all right and took the pages out of the ashes.
I was holding onto your box so hard it started to get even more lopsided.
And then we all went to bed.
Owen
Deer Sylvia,
My new teacher is Mr. Morton. He is not even as tall as some of the boys in the class like Michael Baylor who grew more than anybody in the summer.
Mr. Morton used to work in a bank. He used to handle millions and millions of dollars without even thinking and he says that's how to do arithmetic you just give the answer. So he will be talking about the death of
Seezzar
Ceezur
King Tut and then suddenly he will say Owen you have $36 in your account but you withdraw $13.61 so how much do you have left? Then he slams his fat hand on your desk and says â too Late!
You just can't think you have to say it!
He has given us all accounts and when you get something right you add and when you are wrong you take away and even if you are less than zero it doesn't matter that means you owe money and he even charges interest which you have to ï¬gure out too.
He wants us all to work in a bank even though he didn't like it.
I don't care how much money would be left except I would give it all to Dad and try to make him happy again.
Or I would hire a typist to make a new copy of The Invisible Enshurince Man and send it to a smarter publisher this time.
I got only 12 out of 20 on a spelling test. I knew all the words right off but then I thought some more and made a lot of them worse and I wasn't allowed to use my dictionary.
What is your teacher like?
Owen
Deer Sylvia,
Because we were bad before when we tried to be heroes about the old house we aren't allowed to go out anywhere unless it is school which just costs me money. Now I know how Dad feels. He needs to ï¬nd a job but he quit from his last Enshurince ofï¬ce and they won't take him back even though he is an author.