Dear to Me (26 page)

 “I wasn’t planning to hunt on your property.”

 “I don’t care where you had planned to hunt. You shouldn’t be teaching Isaiah to hunt. He’s too young.”

 “Not if he has a youth permit and hunts with your daed.”

 “Papa Noah doesn’t hunt, and to my knowledge, he never has.”

 Gabe stared at the ground, kicking small rocks with the toe of his boot. “The truth is you don’t want me to hunt at all. Isn’t that right?”

 “I know we need some animals for meat,” she said, avoiding his question. “But the deer are special to me.”

 “I realize that. The deer and every other critter you want to help.” He stared at her with such intensity she thought he might break down and cry. “The simple fact is you care so much about animals that you’d be willing to give up your faith, family, and friends in order to care for them the way Doc Franklin does.”

 “Gabe, I—”

 “And you want me to give up all those things in order for us to be together.”

 Tears welled in Melinda’s eyes. Gabe was right. She did want that. She thought if he was willing to leave the Amish faith, it would prove how much he loved her.

 “Even if we both left the faith, things would never feel right between us,” he said with a catch in his voice.

 “What do you mean?”

 “I’d be leaving family and friends, and so would you.”

 “I know that, and the thought of it pains me, Gabe. But we would have each other, and eventually, we’d have a family of our own.”

 “I’d have to give up my dream of owning my own woodworking business, too.”

 She shook her head. “You could do carpentry work in the English world.”

 He took a step toward her. “I love you, Melinda, and I always will, but it’s time I face the fact that your wants and my wants don’t mesh. I’d thought maybe we could work things out, but now I realize it’s just not possible. So, as much as it hurts me to say this, I’ve come to realize that it has to be over between us.” Before she could comment, Gabe swung around and bolted from the yard.

 With tears coursing down her cheeks, Melinda moved slowly toward the house. Gabe was right. They both wanted different things. Even though it pained her to admit the truth, if she decided to leave the Amish faith, they would have no future together because Gabe wasn’t willing to leave.

It was difficult for Melinda to attend church at the Hiltys’ the next day, but she knew that unless she was sick, there was no way she could get out of going. After what had happened yesterday between her and Gabe, she didn’t want to face him.

 Melinda had just stepped down from the buggy when Susie rushed up to her. “Is it true, Melinda? Have you and Gabe broken up for good?”

 “I can’t believe the news is out already,” Melinda muttered. “Who told you?”

 “Gabe must have told his mamm, and then she told my mamm when they got here a few minutes ago.” Susie eyed Melinda critically. “Please tell me it’s not true.”

 Melinda quickly explained the way she’d discovered Gabe teaching Isaiah how to shoot and how they had argued, and then Gabe had broken things off.

 Susie’s expression was solemn. “I can’t believe you’d be so
narrisch
. Don’t you realize how much Gabe loves you?”

 “I’m not being foolish.” Melinda shrugged. “I guess Gabe doesn’t love me as much as I thought.”

 “Maybe there’s something you can say or do to make Gabe change his mind.”

 Melinda shook her head as tears clouded her vision. “I would have to give up caring for animals if we got back together.”

 Susie’s eyebrows lifted. “Why would you have to do that? You’re caring for animals now, aren’t you?”

 Melinda didn’t know how to respond. It was true—she was caring for some animals, but in a very small way. The little bit she did for the animals she rescued was nothing compared to how she would be able to help them if she became a vet. “We’d better get inside,” she said, moving toward the house. “There’s no point discussing this because it won’t change a thing. Besides, church will be starting soon.”

 Susie touched Melinda’s arm. “If you’ve broken up with Gabe, does that mean you won’t be at the young people’s gathering tonight?”

 Melinda nodded. “I had planned on going until our breakup, but not now. It wouldn’t seem right.”

 “But you’ll miss all the fun if you don’t go.”

 Melinda shrugged.

 Susie stared at the ground. “I guess if you’re not going, then I won’t, either.”

 Melinda felt as if a heavy weight rested on her shoulders. Susie had no boyfriend to take her home from the gathering, but she’d obviously been looking forward to going.
If Susie stays home on account of me, she’ll be miserable, and I’ll feel guilty for days.

 Melinda forced her lips to form a smile. “Jah, okay. I’ll go tonight.”

“You look like you’ve been sucking on a bunch of sour grapes,” Aaron said to Gabe as they climbed down from their buggies.

 Gabe moved to the front of his buggy and started to unhitch the horse. “Yesterday, Melinda and I broke up,” he mumbled.

 Aaron skirted around his own rig. “You’re kidding, right?”

 “No, it’s the truth.”

 “But I thought you two were crazy in love.”

 Gabe grunted. “I used to think that, too.”

 “What happened?”

 “Melinda caught me in the woods behind their place teaching her little bruder how to shoot a gun.”

 Aaron reached under his hat and scratched the back of his head. “That’s all? She broke up with you because you were teaching her brother to shoot?”

 “Actually, it was me who broke up with her, but I think she agrees that things could never work out between us.” Gabe grabbed his horse’s bridle and led him toward the corral, where several other horses milled about.

 Aaron followed, leaving his own horse hitched to the buggy. “If you love the woman so much, why don’t you fight for her?”

 “Melinda’s love for animals has come between us,” Gabe said. “She doesn’t want me to hunt, either.” He was tempted to tell his friend the rest of the story but figured Aaron might blab to someone else that Melinda wanted to become a vet. Gabe felt sure it would be better for everyone if he kept that information to himself.

 “I think it’s ridiculous that Melinda would object to you hunting. She can’t save every deer in the woods.” Aaron shook his head. “If you want my opinion, Melinda’s got
verhuddelt
thinking.”

 “It might be confused thinking to you and me, but it isn’t to her.”

 Aaron leaned against the corral while Gabe put his horse inside. “What are you going to do about this?”

 Gabe turned his hands palm up. “What can I do?”
Besides give up hunting and leave the Amish faith so Melinda can fulfill her crazy, selfish dream.

 “I know what I would do,” Aaron said.

 “What’s that?”

 “I’d tell Melinda she’s verhuddelt and that she needs to come to her senses.”

 Gabe shook his head. “That would only make things worse. The best thing I can do at this point is to pray about our situation.”

 “You never know. Melinda might change her mind about you hunting. Women are prone to that, you know,” Aaron said with a serious expression.

 Gabe gave his horse a gentle pat and left the corral. “You’d best get your horse in here. Church will be starting soon.”

 “You’re right.” Aaron followed Gabe back to his horse and buggy. “You know, this whole ordeal you’re going through with Melinda is just one more reason why I’m never getting married!”

 Maybe Aaron had the right idea about marriage, Gabe thought. Maybe it would have been better if he’d never allowed himself to fall in love with Melinda.

Chapter 25

M
elinda didn’t know why she had let Susie talk her into attending the young people’s gathering, but there she sat, alone on a bale of straw in Abe Martin’s barn. It was hard to watch others engage in playing games and sharing friendly banter. Everyone but her seemed to be having a good time. How could she enjoy herself when she wasn’t with Gabe and wouldn’t be riding home in his buggy at the close of the evening?

 It might have been easier if Gabe hadn’t been here tonight, but he was standing in front of the punch bowl talking to Mattie Byler. Had he found a replacement for Melinda so soon? The thought of Gabe courting someone else made Melinda’s stomach feel queasy, and unbidden tears sprang to her eyes. She sniffed and swiped them away when Susie plunked down beside her.

 “Guess what?”

 Susie seemed excited about something, but in Melinda’s glum mood, it was all she could do to respond with a shrug.

 “I can’t believe it, but Jonas Byler asked if he could give me a ride home in his buggy tonight.”

 “Mattie’s brother?”

 “Jah. Jonas is five years older than me, and until now he’s never given me so much as a second glance.” Susie grinned. “Maybe Jonas sees me in a different light now and realizes that I’m not a little girl anymore.”

 “That could be.”

 “If Jonas decides he likes me, maybe he will stay here and not return to Montana after all.”

 “Maybe so.”

 “I hear tell many Amish folks who have moved to remote settlements like those in Montana don’t stay very long.” Susie popped a couple of her knuckles, the way Melinda’s mother often did. “Jonas says…”

 Melinda broke off a piece of straw and clenched it between her teeth. She really didn’t care about any of this but didn’t want to appear rude.

 “I’ve never traveled much and would like the chance to see some of the states out West,” Susie went on to say. “Jonas says the Amish who live in northern Montana have log homes, only they’re much nicer than those the pioneers used to live in.”

 Melinda listened halfheartedly as her aunt droned on about Jonas and Montana. It was hard for Melinda to concentrate on anything other than Gabe and Mattie, who stood off by themselves in one corner of the barn with their heads together.

 Susie nudged her arm. “What was that?”

 “Oh, nothing.” Melinda stood, smoothing the wrinkles in her dark blue dress. “I think I’ll go outside for a breath of fresh air.”

 “Would you like some company?”

 Melinda shook her head. “If Jonas plans to take you home tonight, you’d better stay put. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your first date with him because of me.”

 “I’m sure he won’t leave without me. Besides, the gathering’s not over yet.”

 “Just the same, I’d rather be alone if you don’t mind.”

 Susie shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

 Melinda noticed Jonas heading their way with two glasses of punch, so she hurried off. At least Susie was having a good time this evening, and she deserved to be happy.

 Outside, Melinda wandered around the yard, staring up at the sky and studying the bright, full moon and thousands of brilliant stars twinkling like fireflies in the night sky. She thought about an old yodeling song her mother had taught her a few years ago.

 With arms folded and face lifted toward the night sky, she quietly sang the words of the song. “O silvery moon, I’m so lonely tonight; to stroll once again in your beautiful light. There’s a fellow I adore and a longing to see, in that beautiful Yo Ho Valley. My little yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho—tee! I’ll sing you a song, while the moon’s growing low. My little yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho in the beautiful Yo Ho Valley.”

 A lump formed in Melinda’s throat, and she couldn’t go on singing. It hurt too much to be reminded that Gabe was no longer her special fellow.
I probably shouldn’t have come here tonight,
she thought regretfully as tears spilled onto her cheeks.
If only Gabe and I could work things out. If only…

 Philippians 2:3 popped into her mind:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

 More tears came, and Melinda reached up to wipe them away. She knew she hadn’t put Gabe’s needs ahead of hers, but shouldn’t he care about her feelings, too? If Gabe really loved her, why couldn’t he see how much she wanted to help hurting animals, and why wouldn’t he reconsider leaving the Amish faith with her so she could do it? It would be a sacrifice on both their parts, but…