Dearest Series Boxed Set (13 page)

I
t’s been
a hectic few days, and I hate to admit this, but I need my Gavin fix. He had to cancel our usual Friday workout at the gym because he had a last-minute assignment for the
Globe
, and we couldn’t grab lunch on Saturday because I had to work a double shift. But this morning he mentions he’s hanging with Ryan, so when Jenna invites me to do laundry at her boyfriend’s house, I can’t resist tagging along.

Ryan’s band is sitting around the kitchen table when we arrive. Kade sees me and rolls his eyes, and I resist the urge to drown him in the kitchen sink. Is it my imagination or is he a bigger asshole than I remember?

Poker chips are strewn about, and a few empty pizza boxes litter the counter. I walk up behind Gavin, who looks up at me and smiles so brightly, I feel like I’m bathing in the sun. He’s standing up to hug me when his phone buzzes.

“Babe, can you hold my cards for a second?” he asks, kissing me on the cheek before he runs off to take the call. I look at the hand he left me, which I quickly hide against my shirt. When I glance up, everyone is looking at me.

“What?”

Ryan’s mouth drops open dramatically before it slides into a grin.

“I see you and Gavin are getting along.”

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

“Friends with muthafucking benefits!” he yells. All the guys start laughing.

“Why do you make everything sound so lewd?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Because Gavin is my boy, and he deserves lewd, a whole lot of lewd, like all up in his face.”

Oh, Jesus.

Jenna, who must have caught the last part of this conversation, walks up and leans in to whisper something in his ear. He looks down and nods.

“Sorry I’m giving you shit, Clem. I’ll shut up now.”

Gavin walks back in, tucking his phone in his pocket before he slides his arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap as he sits. Everyone is staring at me—again—except for Ryan, who is trying hard not to smile as he becomes very interested in his hand. I’m sure I must be crimson by now. The only thing keeping me on Gavin’s lap is the fact that I haven’t seen him in several days, and, God, I miss his touch.

“Ante up, bitches,” Ryan says, throwing in some chips.

Thankful Ryan is switching gears, I reach into my bag and pull out an envelope and hand it to the cute guy I’m sitting on.

“I thought I’d ask if you wanted these before I give them to Ryan.”

Gavin reaches around me to open it. “BC vs. USC tickets?” He turns to me. “Seriously?”

“Yes, compliments of one Daren Sloan. They’re good seats too. Fifty-yard line, second row.”

He angles his head toward me. “You weren’t kidding about him sending you tickets?”

“I would never joke about that,” I say, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

“So he’s been sending you tickets to every home game for three, going on four years?”

“Something like that.”

He frowns, getting an adorable crinkle in his forehead.

Ryan sits up in his chair. “You’re giving the BC tickets to this asshole? Clem,
remember
who moved all your crap for the last two summers.” He tosses his cards on the table.

I chuck a pretzel at him. “If Gavin wants, he can take you with him. I didn’t know you were such a football fanatic, Ryan, or I would have given you all the other tickets I threw out.”

Ryan groans again and slams the table, making everyone jump. “You threw them away? I would have killed to see last year’s BC/Notre Dame game. Do you have any idea what these tickets are worth?”

I roll my eyes.

“No, and I’m not interested.”

Ryan looks like he’s going to yank his hair out by its roots. I’ve never actually seen him so unhinged before. I watch him, curious if he’s going to yell at me some more when Gavin tosses the envelope across the table.

“Relax, man,” Gavin says, shooting him a look. “You can have the fucking tickets. Just stop freaking out at Clementine.”

I start to stand up, but Gavin tightens his hold, pulling me closer. Part of me is mortified to still be on his lap in front of a room of people, but the other part is excited as hell to finally see him.

Twenty minutes later, when I finally get around to tucking a load of laundry into the washer, a pair of hands grip me around the waist, making me scream.

“Damn, baby, you’re jumpy.” Gavin chuckles, turning me around to kiss my neck. “Your heart is racing.”

“You scared the shit out of me!” I smack his chest and he grins.

His eyebrows lift as he peeks over my shoulder. “Hmm. Delicates,” he says seductively. “I’d like to get to know your delicates.” He ducks back down to nibble on the spot just below my earlobe. He’s so delicious my legs might give out.

After a moment, he groans, stopping to press his forehead against mine. “I have to go finish up an article and babysit the freshmen. Want to join me later?”

“I’ll think about it,” I tease as his lips descend on mine.

“Good. Because Aiden misses the fuck out of Samantha,” he mumbles against my mouth, using my fictional characters to make me laugh.

I have to say the feeling is mutual.

* * *

G
avin is stroking my hair
, and I’m nestled against his chest as we watch
Sons of Anarchy
on Netflix. I definitely could get used to this.

“I’m sorry Ryan was such a prick today,” he says as the credits roll.

“It’s okay. I feel bad I didn’t give him the other tickets. I’ve always thrown them away as soon as they arrived and never thought about it.”

“Still, he shouldn’t have lost his shit that way.”

“He’s a good guy. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

I’m playing with the drawstring on his hoodie when the door flies open, slamming against the wall, and the little blonde girl I met a few weeks ago runs in.

“Jesus, Carly, ever heard of knocking?” Gavin asks as we get up.

“Sorry, sorry!” She covers her eyes like she’s afraid she might see something she shouldn’t. “Marnie is having a seizure or something. Hurry!” She turns and runs out.

I grab my phone, and Gavin and I bolt after her. When we reach her room, the first thing I see is a bowl of soup that’s been dropped in the center of the room. Marnie is sprawled next to the noodles and bits of vegetables, her legs splayed at weird angles as her body shakes. Gavin ducks next to her as I dial 911.

“She has epilepsy,” Carly says as Gavin rests Marnie’s head on a pillow.

“911. What’s your emergency?” a voice says into my ear.

“I need paramedics at 700 Commonwealth Avenue, eighteenth floor of Warren Towers, building A. We’re in room…” I pause to glance at the number on the door and relay the information before I explain Marnie’s medical condition.

Carly is starting to cry, so I put my arm on her shoulder when I get off the phone.

“Marnie’s going to be okay. You got us really fast. Does she have any medication for this?”

Carly shakes her head and sniffles. “Not that I know of.”

When the paramedics arrive, they load Marnie on to the stretcher. She looks pale and a little glassy-eyed. Gavin walks next to her, holding her hand. He looks over to me, and I wave bye. He motions that he’ll call me later. Nodding, I turn back to Carly, who is still sniffling.

* * *

F
orty-five minutes later
, I am definitely in the seventh circle of hell. One girl is braiding my hair while Carly and another perky brunette dab a honey-yogurt mask on my face. Jenna would be in heaven.

It can’t get any worse, though, right? Then One Direction blares from the speakers, reminding me that I should never ask that question.

I’m wondering how to politely duck out of this as I turn and see Gavin leaning in the doorway.

“Clementine?” He chuckles as he soaks in the scene.

“Yeah. Don’t ask.”

Carly bobs up and down on her toes and claps her hands. “We
love
Clem. Can we keep her? She’s so beautiful!”

“Ladies, she’s not a pet. Stop pawing at her. Clementine has to get up early tomorrow. I’m going to steal her, but if you’re good, she might visit.”

They giggle. A few minutes later, I walk out of Gavin’s bathroom, wiping my face with a towel.

“Thanks for getting me out of there. They were upset, so I suggested manicures because that’s what my roommates like to do when they’re stressed, and the next thing I know I was being coated in honey and yogurt. I’m still a little sticky,” I say, trying to wipe off a bit of goo on my neck.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he says, pulling me to him and placing feather-light kisses across my face. When he reaches my jaw, I tilt my head to the side, letting him nuzzle against me.

“Mmm. Found a spot.” His soft kisses stop as he takes a small lick up my neck.
Oh, shit. That was hot.
“You taste really good,” he whispers.

His mouth migrating across my collarbone makes it difficult to think coherently. “I don’t know how I ended up as their guinea pig.” I’m starting to pant. Fuck.

“They. Wanted. A perfect specimen,” he says between kisses.

My knees are weak, and I’m about to push him onto his bed and let him touch me any way he wants when a loud knock on the door makes me jump.

“God, that scared me,” I laugh, nerves shooting through me like my parents just caught us, an idea that gives me pause because of course my parents don’t give a shit.

Gavin opens the door and an older guy is standing there with a clipboard.

“Incident report for the lucky RA,” the man says cheerfully as he hands over a stack of paperwork.

I know this is going to take a while, so I grab my bag. “I’m gonna get out of your hair so you can take care of this.”

Gavin smiles grimly, and I wink back before heading home. I’m not even on my street yet when he texts me.

Gavin:
Can I finally take you on a proper date? I’m warning you, though. If you say no, then Aiden is going to ask Samantha out, and she has to say yes.

My throat tightens as I think about his request.
Relax. It’s a date. He’s not asking you to elope.
I laugh at myself, at how ridiculous I’m being.

Me:
My book boyfriend is so demanding!

Gavin:
Pick you up on Friday at 7.

I laugh at his presumptuousness, that he assumes I’ll agree. But do I really want to decline? No. I want to spend time with him. In fact, I love spending time with him. I write back:
I guess I could use some more inspiration…

Glad no one can see the idiotic grin on my face, I duck into my building. When I get into my room, his incoming message buzzes my phone:
Wouldn’t want you to run into another dry spell.

Me:
So really, this is in the name of higher learning.

Gavin:
Funny you should mention that because you’re my favorite subject. I could study you all day.

His flirtatiousness makes me smile wider.

I love that about him, which is weird because for the past three years, I’ve ignored every guy who flirted with me. Every single one. But Gavin is different somehow. Sexy but sensitive. Strong but gentle. Easygoing but somehow intense. He can turn me inside out with one look, one touch, one kiss.

The second I get home, I get another text from him asking if I got home safely. God, a girl could get used to Gavin Murphy.

I’m lonely in my bed without him, which makes me wonder how far I’ll let things go on Friday night, an idea that both thrills and terrifies me.

T
his may be
the worst coffee in town, but it’s fast and cheap and ready right now. I’m putting the lid on my twenty-four-ounce cup of joe when someone steps up next to me.

“Hey, sexy.”

I whirl around to see Gavin.

He laughs at the look on my face. “Not used to guys trying to pick you up while you’re getting your coffee fix?”

“Shut up, goofball. You scared me, whispering in my ear like that.”

He smiles and wraps me in a hug in the middle of the convenience store, and I try to sniff him without looking like a total creeper. I don’t know what shower gel he uses, but it makes me want to lick him.

“Where you headed?” He keeps his hand on my waist.

“The tutoring center. Don’t worry, I’m not out trying to pass myself off as a math whiz. I edit essays.”

My therapist suggested tutoring last year to help me be more social because, apparently, I need help in this area.

“What a relief.”

Before I can respond, he pulls me to him and kisses me on the forehead. I smile a big, toothy grin, and I’m sure I look like an idiot, so I bite my cheek to rein it in.

“I hope Marnie is feeling better. Is she back from the hospital?”

“Yeah, she’ll be okay. She hasn’t had a seizure in a while, so I think that scared her the most.” We pay for our drinks and walk out to the street. “You were pretty awesome last night. I meant to tell you.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who handled the whole thing. I only did facials.”

“Clementine, come on. Carly was in tears when I left, and when I returned, she was having a blast. You’re really good in a crisis.”

“No, I think that was a first.”

He walks me to the liberal arts building, but before he leaves for class, he ducks his head toward mine, leaving us practically nose to nose.

Gavin drops his voice just above a whisper. “We still on for Friday?”

My heart thump, thump, thumps in my chest. “If I say yes, does this mean you’re going to woo me with more than take-out Thai?”

“I’m going to break out my best moves. I promise.”

In this light, his eyes have golden flecks amid the green. “Honestly, I don’t know if Samantha is ready for it. She’s a little on the shy side.” I swallow and look down except he takes his thumb and lifts my chin so I have to look him in the eye.
Thump, thump, thump.

“It’s okay. Aiden can be very persuasive.” And before he turns to leave, he plants a kiss on my mouth, lingering on my lips as he says, “I’ll call you later.”

I watch him walk away, wishing I could rewind the last ten minutes of my life so I could see them play out again. And again. In slow motion.

Floating a good twelve inches out of my shoes, I dart into the tutoring lab. The large room is ice-cold, and my Converse squeak on the tile floor, causing a few students to pop their heads up to stare at my offending shoes.

Behind the volunteer desk is Kade, shuffling through his backpack.

Shit.

I knew he tutored economics and other boring-as-hell subjects, but I’ve usually had the good luck to avoid him. His hair is a mess, and he looks like he slept in his clothes.

I clear my throat. “What happened to Gina?” She usually coordinates all the volunteers.

He glances up and rolls his eyes at me before tossing a clipboard across the desk.

“It’s nice to see you too, Kade,” I mutter before I pencil in my name on a few open slots for next month. Gone is my fluttery, Gavin-is-so-adorable giddiness.

“You shouldn’t wait until the last minute,” Kade says, not bothering to look at me. He turns to the computer and curses under his breath as he reaches over to pull out the paper tray on the printer.

“Some of us have to work for a living.” I expect some snarky comment, but instead he types something on the keyboard. “I had to wait for my schedule at the bookstore before I could sign up for October.”

After restacking some neon pink paper, he slams the tray back into the machine, making me flinch. Jesus, what’s gotten into him?

“Are… are you okay? You’re acting more assholish than usual.”

I wait for his comeback, which usually entails some kind of reference to us having sex. We’ve had this kind of relationship since sophomore year when I met him through Ryan. Kade is the kind of guy who is nice until you turn him down, and then he’s a dick-stick, looking to unleash his wrath on the poor girls who dare to think he’s not the biggest catch on the Eastern Seaboard. And since I unequivocally turned him down the first time, he’s been a raging prick to me ever since.

The printer starts to churn again.

“Leave it on the desk when you’re done,” he says, motioning toward the clipboard before he turns his back to me.

I grab my bag off the counter and start to sling it over my shoulder when I catch a glimpse of his computer screen and see a familiar face.
He’s printing missing posters.

“Kade,” I say softly, “do you know Olivia?”

He stills and takes a deep breath before he turns to face me. “I’m not in the mood for this, Clem, and yes, I know her.”

His face looks pained, his mouth a tight line, his eyes full of emotion. We’ve never shared any fun or easygoing times despite having the same circle of friends, but I know that look. After what happened with Professor Wheeler freshman year, for months, every time I stood in front of a mirror I saw a similar expression.

Even though Kade has never done me any favors, I have a hard time walking away. This must be what Gavin meant when he said Kade was going through a tough time.

Lowering my voice, I say, “Can I help you post those up around campus? I have to get to class right now, but I can probably put some up this afternoon.”

He looks up, surprised, and clears his throat. It takes him a second to respond. “Yeah, that would be great.”

I take a stack of fliers and start to leave but can’t. Rubbing the back of my neck, I turn back and inch toward his desk.
Be an adult, Clementine.
In my head I try to ignore every insult he’s ever given me, every dirty look, every rude remark. And there have been a few.

“There’s one more thing.” I crouch in front of his desk so we’re eye level with each other. “I feel bad leaving you like this. I know we’ve never gotten along, but I don’t see why we can’t be friends. I want us to have coffee tomorrow, okay?” He looks dubious. “You can even pretend we slept together, and I was the worst lay ever.”

He cracks a smile.

“I have seen your tits. Let’s not forget.”

And just like that, the asshole is back. I smirk and let him have his dig. At least he’s not thinking about Olivia.

* * *

K
ade is sitting
at a small table in the corner of the coffee house when I walk in the next morning. He already has a cup in front of him, so I order a latte and sit across from him.

“I put up those flyers all over West Campus yesterday evening. Do you have any more? Because I ran out.”

His eyebrows are knitted tightly on his forehead. “Thanks. That’s great. I can get you some more.”

I pop open my drink, toss in two packets of sugar and stir. “How do you know Olivia?”

He sucks in his lips briefly and shakes his head. “How else? I asked her out last year, we dated a while, I was a dick, and then we stopped talking.”

I tilt my head as I stare at him. Kade’s hair is spiked up and forward into his face. His fierce hazel eyes peer back at me. He’s handsome, there’s no doubt about it, but the second he opens his mouth, girls want to slap him.

“Kade.”

“Clem.”

“Have you ever tried being nice?”

His face twists into a half-smirk. “Says the pot.”

I take a sip of my drink. “Touché. But I’m
trying
to be a nicer person. Thus, here we are, drinking coffee together despite the dozens of insults we’ve swapped.” He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans and a rustic-looking brown leather jacket.
Better than that just-rolled-out-of-bed look he was rocking yesterday.
“On paper, you are a catch. You’re good-looking, you’re smart, and when you’re not being a dick, you’re kind of funny, not that I would ever give you the satisfaction of laughing at one of your jokes. Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?”

He raises his eyebrows. “You think I’m good-looking?”

“That’s what you got from what I just said?” I give him a look, and he shrugs. “I’m trying to be helpful. Trust me, I’m not interested.”

“Yeah, I know. You have that thing going on with Murphy.”

I don’t know how to answer that, so I ignore the comment. “I think there’s more to you, but you never let anyone see it. If you make a deliberate attempt to
not
piss off girls, you might find that they like you for more than a month or two. It’s a crazy concept I have. Try it out.”

“Fine.” He rolls his eyes at me, but he’s fighting a smile.

“Tell me about Olivia. I’ve read a couple of articles about her. She spent last semester in England?”

“Yeah, but she traveled all over Europe before she returned.” He looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t.

“What?”

He shakes his head. “This is going to sound weird.”

“Try me. But don’t be an asshole.”

Kade laughs, and it’s good to see a full-fledged smile on his face. “Livvy reminded me a little of you. She had this long brownish-blonde hair, and she loved to write. But she wasn’t as opinionated as some people I know,” he says, deepening his voice melodramatically.

“Me? Have opinions? Puh-leese.” I fold over a sugar packet until it’s the shape of a triangle. “She was an English major, right?”

“Yeah, she could read a novel in a night. It was really fucking annoying. You would have liked her.”

The way he talks about her in the past tense doesn’t escape me, and my heart breaks a little.

“She sounds like a great girl. Do you talk to her family?”

“Her sister. She’s really fucked up over this. Norah had convinced Livvy to come home for the Fourth of July weekend since they always partied it up together.” Kade twists the mug in his hands.

“Have you talked to Gavin about her? You know he’s been writing all of those articles for the
Freep
, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve talked, but I don’t know anything that could help him, and I don’t want to be quoted in the newspaper. I hate how people come out of the woodwork to get attention when shit like this happens.”

That right there makes me warm up to him a little more. When my family is in the tabloids, people I don’t even know talk about me like we’re best friends.

Maybe Kade’s not such a huge asshole after all.

“I know what you mean.” I stir my drink a few times, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry, Kade. I really am. Please call me if I can help put up flyers or make posters. Whatever you need.”

He nods. “The thing is, I pushed her away. For the life of me, I don’t know why. Livvy put up with my shit, she was beautiful and smart, but I had my head up my ass.”

“But what happened to her wasn’t your fault.”

Frustration and remorse lurk behind his eyes. “She decided to go abroad after we broke up. She was pissed at me.”

Okay, I’m doing a suck-ass job of giving this guy a pep talk. “Look, people break up all the time. You’re not the first guy to piss off a girl. Trust me.” He smirks. “She might have had the time of her life in England. What happened to her when she got home isn’t any more your fault than her sister’s.”

He stares at the table. “Do you ever feel like you don’t like who you’re becoming?”

I laugh, and his eyes dart to mine. “Kade, honestly, you’re frightening me. I never thought I’d have anything in common with you, but to answer your question, yes. What you said basically encapsulates most of my college experience.”

“I thought you were perfect.” He makes a U shape with his hands, and I flick my football made from a sugar packet toward the goal. Of course, I miss.

“About as perfect as you.”

He rubs his chin and grins. “I’ve never told you this before, Clem, but you’re a cool girl.”

I smile back.

“Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.”