Death Angel (Death Angel Series Book 1) (19 page)

Chapter Twenty Four

Gabrielle didn't go directly to the office when she was finished. She knew she was probably supposed to, but she just couldn't look at Mr. Black right now. He hated her. She could just feel it in the way he glared at her. She didn't know what she had done. Maybe it was the kiss. Perhaps she had been so awful that he never wanted anything more to do with her. His words burned in her chest. She had made a fool of herself at the Death Festival.

After walking around for an hour or two she made her way back to the office. She was thankful when she walked in and discovered that Mr. Black had left for some mission. It wasn’t typical for him to go on such a simple task, but Gabrielle had a feeling he was just trying to avoid her. It was official in her mind. He hated her. The thought made her so uncomfortable that it was hard to breath. It didn’t help that when she did go into the office, Kaia had an overly pleased look on her face as she shoved a stack of files at her.

“Get these over to General Kasen immediately,” she said, with an added air of authority that she hadn’t had before. Gabrielle decided that she wasn’t going to bother arguing or putting up any kind of resistance to her. In fact, while Kaia looked at her like she was handing off a menial chore, Gabrielle was thankful to be getting back out of the office. She was also mildly interested in meeting General Kasen. She had been corresponding with his office on such a regular basis, and he was the only General that hadn’t been at the awful assessment, or the meeting that decided she would be forced to take it.

Gabrielle wound her way through all the hallways that lead towards General Kasen’s office. Matthew had been right about her instincts kicking in. She didn’t know how exactly she knew where to go, but she just did. Thinking of Matthew was the only thing that was keeping her from breaking down at this moment. But if she thought too much about him, her stomach turned, remembering that he hadn't yet responded to her messages. She hoped that by the time she got home, he would have sent a reply.

She had been watching her feet as she walked, lost in thought, but she knew she was coming close so she let out a heavy sigh and glanced up. Her eyes landed directly on Mr. Black and her breath caught in her throat as she tensed up. Her legs were suddenly heavy and she found it incredibly hard to keep walking. But then her eyes finally tore away from him and moved onto the person next to him. For a moment her heart fluttered at the sight of him, but then her brows stitched together in confusion.

“Matthew?” she said, seeing the odd expression on his face. There was a man standing beside him dressed in white that she hadn’t noticed until that moment when he started barking at her.

“Show some respect,” he said in a condescending tone. “You’re speaking to two Generals of the Death Angel Society.”

“Huh?” Gabrielle looked quizzically from Mr. Black to Matthew, not understanding what was going on. But the almost horrified look on Matthew’s face wasn’t settling her nerves.

“What’s going on Matthew?” she asked, looking to him for an answer. He opened his mouth to say something, shaking his head, but the man next to him once again spoke up loud and angry at her.

“This is General Kasen, and if you address him so disrespectfully again you will be reprimanded.”

“That’s enough, Loki,” Kasen snapped, looking angrily at him. His expression softened as he turned back to Gabrielle. “I was going to tell you tonight…”

His words trailed off, but it finally all clicked to Gabrielle and she felt the heat burning through her chest. She had never felt so utterly betrayed in all her life. It took her a moment to find her voice.

“You…you lied to me?” she said, her words barely above a whisper as she stared back at him with tears stinging her eyes.

“I wanted to tell you the truth,” he said stepping closer to her, holding his hands out. She stepped back from him, her eyes locked painfully on his.

“Matthew isn’t your real name,” she said, looking him up and down, “you aren’t a third seat assistant. You aren’t anything that you told me you were. You lied to me, about everything.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s not what you think, please, let me explain.”

“You…” the words burned in her throat, but her utter embarrassment and feeling of betrayal stung even harder. “I didn’t even know your real name, and you…you took my…”

She couldn’t say the word as the tears poured down her cheeks. She had stupidly given her virginity to a man she didn’t know simply because he had given her a pretty trinket. She actually believed that he had loved her, that they were in love. She realized now why he wasn't responding to her messages, why he had left her bed so quickly. He must have only been after one thing and as soon as he got it, he didn't see fit to bother with her anymore.

“I…Gabrielle—“

“No,” she said, her voice suddenly rising sharply as she found her anger brimming beneath the surface. Her eyes snapped over to Mr. Black for a moment who was watching the scene play out with his typical stoic expression. “I guess I know why I kept getting those days off to spend with you.” Her eyes snapped back over to him. “And why everyone stared at us everywhere we went.”

“Gabrielle—“

“Here,” she said, shoving the pile of files in her hand at him as she cut him off. “These are for you.”

She wiped the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand and tried to stop any more from falling. She whirled around to leave, too humiliated to stand the situation any longer, but Kasen grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

“Gabrielle, please.”

“Don’t touch me,” she shouted at him as she wrenched her arm free of his touch. She’d had enough of this place and all the people in it. She just wanted to go home and curl up in bed, shutting everyone and everything else out. She turned back away and nearly ran to get away from the situation. No one came after her, and she was both relieved and hurt by it. She had made a complete fool of herself in every way that she possibly could in this place.

She had thought that she wanted nothing more than to go back to her quarters and cry, but she found her feet taking her all around the halls of the Death Angel Society, thinking about the mess that was her life. Nothing made any sense anymore. She didn’t know who she used to be, and she never would, although apparently someone else did. Her once flourishing love life was now revealed to be nothing more than a sham. And her boss, soon to be ex-boss, was disgusted with her and clearly couldn’t stand to be around her. The one bright side that she had was that she would going to a different place entirely soon, even if everyone else made it sound like a horrendous punishment. She decided to be hopeful that it would offer her a fresh start as she made her way back to her home. In the end, it didn’t really matter. She was dead now, and whether she liked it or not, she was stuck in the Death Angel Society. She was a Death Angel, and sooner or later she would have to start acting like one.

###

As soon as Gabrielle ran off in tears, Kasen felt the heavy congestion of the sickness gripping his chest. He wanted more than anything to run after her, to explain himself. To tell her that he only lied about those two things and that he had a very good reason to do so. But unfortunately, the sickness had taken hold of him so quickly that he was barely able to stand up. His first seat assistant helped him to his home where Wilfred now stood over his bed, glaring down at him with disapproval.

“You’ve waited too long this time,” he said, his deep concern showing through his superficial anger. “You’ll need at least two weeks of bed rest. Maybe more. We’ll know when the healer gets here. And that little jaunt into the mortal world certainly didn’t help you any. I told you not to go.”

Wilfred just shook his head as he looked down at Kasen. He wanted to tell him to go away, that he didn’t want to listen to him, but he couldn’t even find enough strength to speak. He felt the blackness slipping over him and he knew that he would be passing out soon. Unlike most people in the Death Angel Society, the sickness had left Kasen alive longer than usual. He would beat it back again, like he had every other time. He was certain of this. He just hoped that once he was well enough to sit up and talk again, it wasn’t too late to get Gabrielle back.

###

“Kaia,” Sebastian hollered out her name as he stormed into his offices. His eyes quickly scanned for her as his jaw clenched with his unbridled anger. He slammed the office door behind him, shattering the glass in it. Kaia came stumbling out of his office a moment later with her eyes wide. He could see the terror in her and Nettie as he took measured steps toward her.

“I gave you one task,” he said, his words low. “What was it?”

“Sir? I…,” Kaia shook her head, trying to think through her fright. “I…you told me to deliver the files to General Kasen.”

“Correct,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “I told you to.” He pointed his finger at her for emphasis. “Not Nettie. And certainly not Gabrielle.”

“I…,” Kaia shook her head unable to understand why he was so upset with her. “I didn’t think you needed me personally to deliver them.”

“I’m trying to figure out whether you did that out of spite for Gabrielle, or if you are just that lazy and insubordinate,” he said, his words dripping venomously from his lips. “You’re fortunate that I’m assuming it’s the former, otherwise I would order your eternal death and not just fire you.”

“Sir…” her words were low and her voice crackled as her wide eyes looked back at him in disbelief. “Please, I won’t mess up again. I—“

“Get out of my sight,” Sebastian snapped, unable to contain his rage. If she stood in his presence any longer he would carry out a sentence of eternal death for her right there on the spot. Kaia swallowed back her tears and scurried out of the office. Nettie was looking at him with shocked wide eyes, but he didn’t care. She was his last assistant and if he wasn’t already too busy with the issues plaguing the Death Angel Society, he would fire her for good measure. He had specifically asked Kaia to deliver those files to Kasen for a reason. He hadn’t expected to run into him on his way to other business, and he certainly hadn’t expected Gabrielle to show up in the mix of it. He thought about the utter sadness on her face when she realized what Kasen had done and he couldn’t stop the ache in his chest. He knew what he had to do, but he needed to let his temper cool first. He really hated when his emotions got out of his control.

Chapter Twenty Five

Gabrielle felt like her eyes were closing in on themselves. She had spent the better part of the day crying, intermittently stopping long enough to let her nasal passages open up again before she would cry some more. She had calmed down considerably since she first learned the truth about Matthew, or rather Kasen. She was going to have to get used to thinking of him by his real name. She hadn’t stuck around long enough to hear his explanation, but he insisted that he had one as she ran away from him in tears. Now that her initial shock had worn off she was endlessly curious. What possible reason could he have for wanting to hide the truth about such seemingly innocuous things?

She supposed it was something that she could work past. Everything that they had couldn’t possibly be a lie. She knew she had real feelings for him. And by the way he looked at her, she knew that he had to have feelings as well. That just wasn’t something that you could fake. He certainly didn’t seem like an awful person that was in it all just to get her into the bed. When she had thought about it more, she realized that was likely the news he had wanted to tell her. So the fact that she discovered his lie was really just bad timing. She wondered if she would have reacted so badly if he had found just the right time and place and eased her into the truth delicately. She didn’t think she would have been so upset. She loved Kasen, deeply. And she found that she still wanted to be his wife.

But the fact that he hadn’t come after her, and he hadn’t tried to message her at all worried her. If he really loved her as much as she loved him, then he would fight for her to understand, not just give up and let her run away. He would at least try to contact her.

She had been lying in bed, tossing and turning for the better part of three hours, trying to push all the troubling thoughts from her mind. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Mr. Black in the morning and even worse, having to go to the Academy at the weeks end.

Finally, she realized she wouldn’t be sleeping much, so she threw her covers off with a huff and went into her bathroom to inspect the damage that a night of crying and worrying had done to her face. It was even worse than she had expected. Her eyes were puffy and bulging. Her nose was swollen and red, and even her lips were reddened and enlarged. She let out a heavy sigh, and splashed her face with cold water trying to relieve all the swelling, and while it did feel better, she still looked awful. She ran a brush through her hair and threw on the most comfortable black clothing that she had. She could at least be thankful that soon she wouldn’t need to wear all black.

Gabrielle figured that she would go into the office and get some of the backed up filing done while no one was there. It would give her a chance to get her mind off all her problems while doing a menial chore. No one should be there, so she wouldn’t have to worry about the stress of dealing with any of her coworkers. In the morning, she would message Kasen and ask him to talk. Even if he didn’t have an explanation that was satisfactory, she knew that she wanted to hear it for sure.

The office was dark and devoid of any life, and Gabrielle felt a rush of relief come over her. It felt so different, so peaceful at this time of night. She clicked on the lamp at her desk and sighed as she looked around. She wished that it could be like this all the time. Just her, in a dark room with little light to work by, toiling away on some seemingly unimportant task. She wouldn’t have to think, she wouldn’t have to interact, and she wouldn’t have to try. She sighed again and reached for the thick stack of files that had built up on her desk. She stepped over to the filing cabinet and began to thumb through the files.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Mr. Black’s voice boomed behind her, surprising her and making her jump as she whirled around to see him. As she did, the stack of files went tumbling out of her hands onto the floor.

“Neither should you,” she said with a gasp before she realized what she was saying. He cocked a brow at her.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said, his expression softening in a strange way as he stared back at her.

“Me either,” Gabrielle said, looking down, her voice soft.

“You’ve had a difficult day,” he said. He didn’t say anything more, but she could hear the condolence in his voice.

“What’s your excuse?” she asked, attempting to lighten the mood some.

“I’ve had a difficult day,” he said very matter-of-factly. She felt stupid for saying it now. Of course he had a difficult day. She had learned a lot since she first came here, and though Generals were the highest ranking members of the Death Angel Society, they were also the most stressed and overworked. It wasn’t easy being in charge of everything.

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head and looking at the ground. She didn’t know what else to say.

“I should be apologizing,” he said. Her eyes shot up to his at the unexpected admission. “I was…unnecessarily cruel to you. It was my own…”

His words trailed off and he shook his head. He didn’t say anything more and Gabrielle’s attention turned back to the pile of files that she had dropped. They were spilled all over the ground.

“I…I’m so sorry,” she said, realizing what a mess she had made. “I meant to get these put away. Now I’ve just made more work…I’m sure Kaia is going to really hate me for this.”

“You don’t need to worry about Kaia anymore,” he said, taking a step further into the room. She felt her heart hammering harder against her chest as he stepped closer, his eyes locked on her. “I fired her.”

Gabrielle didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know why he was even telling her this. She wouldn’t be working for him for much longer anyway, so it wasn’t like it really mattered.

“Oh,” she said, wanting to fill the silence as he continued to move towards her and not knowing what else to say. She bent down and started collecting the files, trying to straighten them out the best she could. He bent down, his knees almost touching hers, as he began to help her. They reached for the same file and his hand suddenly grabbed hers. She felt electricity shooting through her as his skin connected with hers. Her eyes looked up to see his dark troubled ones staring into her. He had that same odd look in his eyes as he held her hand in his for a long moment.

“Gabrielle,” he finally spoke and the affection in his voice was undeniable. She was a little taken aback by it. Not just because he so rarely showed any emotion, but by how deeply he seemed to hurt when he said her name.

“Mr. Black—“

“Don’t…” he shook his head, his eyes looking away from her for a split moment. “I want you to call me Sebastian.”

He had such a hopeful look in his eyes and Gabrielle didn’t know what to say or think. He straightened and, still holding her hand, led her to do the same. She had remembered the one time Ms. Blankenship had said his first name. It was so intimate, and so wrong. She had lost her job for that, and the only other people Gabrielle ever remembered calling him Sebastian were other Generals.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” she blurted out, unable to think of anything else. Her emotions were already too raw from her ordeal with Kasen to try and dissect what it was that he wanted. He dropped her hand and looked away from her. She could see him mentally struggling with something. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked back at her.

“I suppose you’ve been lied to enough,” he said and she fought to not wince at the pain of those words. She didn’t want to think anymore about Kasen tonight. “And while I haven’t lied to you, I suppose I haven’t told you the entire truth.”

He grew silent for a moment as he stared down at her with a strange yearning look in his eyes. Gabrielle thought for a second that he was waiting for her to say something, but finally he spoke again.

“I was married once. She was…she was beautiful, strong, compassionate. I loved her more than I ever thought was possible for a person to love. Unfortunately, she wasn’t accepted into any ranks when she graduated from the Academy. I knew she would be doomed to a miserable existence, scraping to get by in the squalor of the lower sector. I couldn’t let that happen. Though my parents had already arranged my marriage with another noble, I refused the union. I married the love of my life and for a time we were very happy, even if those around us disapproved. But nothing lasts forever, unfortunately. Only a few years after we had married, she became sick. The illness took her from me later that year.”

Gabrielle could see the deep hurt in his eyes as he spoke. She didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t know what she could say to him. I’m sorry just didn’t seem like it would do him justice.

“What does any of that have to do with me?” she asked, trying to sound as sensitive as she could. She didn’t want him to think that she didn’t care. She just didn’t understand why he was telling her all of this.

“It’s not often that we get a second life in the Death Angel Society,” he said his eyes turning hopeful. “But when I saw you, standing here in my office, I knew.”

“Wait,” Gabrielle shook her head, trying to understand what he was saying.

“You look exactly like her,” he said, lifting his hand to run his finger along the side of her hairline, “Right down to this exact strand of highlight in your hair, and this same group of freckles just beside your ear.”

His fingers had moved to her jaw and he ran them along it, sending a wave of warmth crashing over her. They stopped just beneath her chin, lifting it up so that she could look at him more fully. His body was so close to hers that he could feel his clothing brushing against hers.

“But,” she pulled away from him, taking a step back so she could clear her mind a bit. “How do you…I mean, you don’t know…I’m not your wife. I can’t be—“

“No,” he said, cutting her off with a soft voice. “I know you’re not.”

Gabrielle shook her head, looking away from him. She didn’t want to say what she was thinking right now. It hurt too much. Everything that he had done, the way he looked at her, when he kissed her, it was all because he thought that she was his wife, reincarnated in some weird way back to the Death Angel Society.

“I know that you’re not my wife, and yet,” he spoke again, surprising her. She looked up at him, expecting to see his expression back to a blank mask, but he still looked at her with a smoldering desire. “I don’t care.”

“I…I don’t understand,” she said, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

“I thought, for a time that you might be,” he said. “It’s true. That is why I took you on as my assistant. But I fairly quickly discovered that you are nothing like her.”

“Oh,” she said, looking away from him again. The words actually hurt her to hear. She didn’t know why, she didn’t want to be his dead wife. But the way he had spoken about her was so sweet, so reverent. It wasn’t comforting to hear that she was nothing like her.

“But it doesn’t matter,” he said. “That’s not…that’s not why I kissed you, Gabrielle.”

“Why did you kiss me?” she said, looking back up at him.

“My wife died nearly a century ago,” he said, taking a step closer to her and bringing his body unbearably close to hers again. “In all that time, I have never thought of another woman, until I met you. Yes, at first I thought that you may be her, but…I know you’re not, and it doesn’t change the way that I have come to feel about you.”

“But,” Gabrielle had to remind herself to breath. His presence was erotically suffocating. “You don’t really know anything about me.”

“I know,” he said, taking a step back and giving her some relief. “Which is why I understand what I am going to say next, what I want to ask you, may not be well received.”

“I am the head of a noble family,” he continued, “I have no heir. That simply isn’t acceptable for who I am, who my family is. As I’ve said, I haven’t been able to think of another woman since my wife died.” He paused, his eyes looking momentarily away from hers. For just a split second, Gabrielle thought she saw him look almost vulnerable. “I want you to be my wife, Gabrielle.”

She was stunned. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but she quickly shut it. What could she possibly say to that? Part of her was flattered. She knew that in spite of his reputation as a boss, Sebastian was one of the most desired bachelors in all of the Death Angel Society. But his proposal hadn’t exactly been terribly romantic. Sure, the notion that he was apparently infatuated enough with her to forget about his dead wife was…sweet in a way. But ‘marry me so I can put a baby in you’ certainly wasn’t her idea of romantic. But more than any of that, she was just caught so off guard.

“Why were you so mean to me?” she asked, still not able to find an answer for his proposal. He sighed and appeared to be thinking over his words for a moment.

“I knew that you were happy with Kasen,” he said with a shrug. “I respect him, and I knew that he would treat you well. I suppose it was just my misguided attempts at distancing myself from you. But…I just thought you deserved to know everything.”

“Oh,” Gabrielle said, not knowing what else to say to him.

“I will give you time,” he said, and when she looked back up at him, his mask of indifference was back in place. He turned away from her and stepped towards the door. “There is no need to come in to work anymore. If I never see you again, I will have your answer.”

He left the office, leaving Gabrielle still stunned by his admission and his proposal.