Death of a Fop (Bow Street Consultant series Book 1) (22 page)

“It is unfair,” said Caleb, “and by law, which troubles me, I shall have ownership of the house when we wed.”

“You might however if you prefer agree on a secured settlement to give me full rights to leave the house as I choose” said Jane. “And how sordid that such things should have to be discussed! Particularly since I have not yet even given you leave to court me and we are discussing marital finances!”

“Sordid indeed Jane-girl; and perhaps premature; but with children in the case, finer feelings must be laid aside for sordid financial consideration.”

“Oh yes, I do agree; else I had not acted so towards Uncle Jasper. I was disagreeably surprised that so meek a man should be so unpleasant towards me; and it gave me the bravery of a lioness in defence of her cubs” said Jane.

“And quite right too” said Caleb. “I have noticed that men who live under the sign of the cat’s foot may, when released by widowhood, run quite counter to what one might have said was their nature, either behaving with impropriety or becoming very hectoring bullies. And you are quite right to put your children first. Mr Weston seems a good man to consult; what little I saw of him I liked, and firmly suppressed the regular soldier’s contempt for a militia man.”

“Why is there contempt for the militia?” asked Jane.

“Because they are toy soldiers who join up for the uniform and are never posted anywhere more dangerous then Bath where only the designs of moonstruck young girls may pose them any danger” said Caleb.

“You
are
a complete hand!” giggled Jane.

Simmy came back late in the evening and was not too pleased to be firmly bathed and dressed in cut-down clothes that were clean by Mrs Ketch before he was permitted to go and report. He did get rewarded with a bowl of stew and a good chunk of bread however; all of which mixed indignity and largesse he told Caleb before any kind of report might be extracted from him.

Caleb laughed.

“Well lad, when you’re my son you’ll wear a clean mish every day, and wash every day too; and you’ll thank me for it! It’s the dirtiest as catch Gaol Fever first, as well you know! And you’ll eat three times a day too.”

“
Gawd
!” said Simmy “Well fer eatin’ free times a day reckon the scrubbin’ll be worth it!”

“It is” said Caleb sympathetically. “I know; for I found out when I joined up. Now what have you found out?”

Simmy grinned.

“Well the cove is Sir Richard Marjoram like wot ‘e say ‘e is; that’s strite up. Got
that
off the footman cove what gimme a baubee, skinflint owd…..”

“LANGUAGE!” barked Caleb “And if you spit in here I’ll tan your jacket!” he then added to Jane “A baubee is a ha’penny; not much of a vail.”

“No indeed” said Jane “If I catch you spitting, Simmy I will make you clean it up and I will wash your mouth.”

“Sorry sir, sorry lidy” said Simmy more impressed by the cruelty of women than the idea of a whipping. “Any roads, this Sir Richard, he come by the title in the army seemingly for bravery in action; ‘swhat the footman say. ‘E’s the third son of some Earl or uvver – that’s this Sir Richard, not the footman” he explained “Wot’s disin’erited ‘im fer some sort o’ kick up over someat. I dunno! Didn’t make no sense t’me.”

“You did well Simmy,” said Jane, “and when you are Simon Armitage you shall be properly educated so you do understand and then you may help Mr Armitage even more.”

Simmy blinked.

“I ain’t averse t’be Armitage, Lidy, but why won’t I be Simmy no more?”

“Why, because Simmy is but a shortening of the name Simon; it is a name you might think more a man’s name than a boy’s as you grow up” said Jane.

Simmy considered this.

“I ain’t never been nuffin but Simmy” he said “But stand to reason; the ‘sylum christened all the boys in rotation after disciples and all the girls after all the morts in the Bible which ain’t as many. I’ve allus wonderd, Lidy, ‘course they learned us Bible stories, if there weren’t no morts, ‘ow did they…..” he caught Caleb’s eye on him and amended what he had been going to say to, “……’Ow did they marry and ‘ave brats?”

“Why Simmy, if anyone wrote an account of history of our own time, there would be a great deal about the men; those who fought Boney and those who make laws; when it is men who write history it is merely that they do not bother to mention the women unless they cannot help it” said Jane. “It is not that there were less women in Biblical times; just that they were not mentioned.”

Simmy digested this.

“Reckon it’s account of ‘ow once you lets morts in you bain’t never shut o’ vem” he opined.

“And when they cook and mend and care for you, that’s not such bad thing young shaver” said Caleb firmly.

Simmy was provided with a blanket to sleep in the kitchen with Caleb’s small army; and went to sleep more comfortably than he recalled ever having been in his short life before.

“What I want to know is,” said Jane to Caleb, “why, if this Sir Richard is involved in the killing of Frank, would he want to offer marriage to me? I can see why he might want to question me to find out what I know – I confess when I became wise to him I almost became sick with apprehension – but marriage?”

“You sweet and green goose” said Caleb “
That
part of his lay was plain from the start; what but that a man owns his wife, and her possessions, and that as they are one in law she cannot testify against him?”

“I could not in any case; I know as yet nothing to testify” said Jane.

“Unless you know of the necklace – and to get it back, and quiet your tongue on it, do you think any man is going to find it a hardship to wed a beautiful woman who has besides this elegant town house and potentially a fortune too? Recollect he does not know that all the dibs were on Frank’s side; indeed he may even believe that Frank married the fortune he ran through so successfully, since he suddenly appears on the town with money and a wife. You know, and because you have told me, I know that he married you only because his aunt had died; and that she had obviously also had a secured settlement to leave money directly to him. But to all outward appearances he has a new wife and blunt to flash to go with her.”

Jane paled.

“Does that mean I shall be the butt of all the gazetted fortune hunters in town?”

“More than likely” said Caleb cheerfully. “I’ll darken their daylights for them though if you want me to.”

“I should prefer to use tact in the first instance and if that fails a bucket of cold water as one uses on amorous curs” said Jane sedately.

He gave a shout of laughter.

“Jane-girl, the suggestion is delightful; and spoken in that prim tone of yours, one might take you for the governess you never had to be dealing with some embarrassing cur in the park when out with your charges!”

“Well it is a deal better than falling into hysterics and merely dragging interested little eyes past and hoping that the children do not ask loud question with the unfailing clarity of tone that always occurs for such inappropriate queries when their mama is listening” said Jane.

“You have no illusions I perceive” said Caleb.

“None whatsoever” said Jane. “So he prefers to
own
me than to kill me; I suppose that it makes sense. A drab like poor Dorothy being murdered would, I am sure, elicit less interest than a widow of respectable birth living in a neighbourhood such as this. Should I encourage him at all?”

“I should say your tone of censure about his unwarranted hurry was about the right tack to take” he said. “Do not
dis
courage him; but permit my friends and me to do a little carpentry.”

“What are you about?” asked Jane.

“The bookroom and the Parlour run back behind the stairwell to have a deep alcove on each that has the connecting door in it. Doubtless he noticed the alcove; but made a little shallower and lined with books, that there might be a concealed doorway, I might construct a small secret room, that he not, I hope, notice the difference in the depth. If a piercing is made to the stair well for fresh air and some modicum of light from the skylight above the stairs it would be a place in which to listen to conversations in either room at need. And a better choice than the little parlour across the landing from the bookroom.”

Jane nodded. The bookroom was a long narrow room permitting a second room at the front that was best described as cosy; the deeper rooms lay at the back, the parlour and the dining room, the dining room running across the stair well.

“Yes; you do what is needful” she said half reaching out to him “Indeed I would that you will start first thing in the morning; for I fear this Sir Richard and I would be happier to know that you are indeed nearby.”

“Don’t worry, Jane-girl; I won’t let the fellow hurt you” said Caleb taking her hand and pressing a gentle kiss on the palm.

Caleb was still not recovered from the bullet wound by any manner of means; Jane cleaned and dressed the wound twice daily, and though he mostly scorned to lie abed he did lie down on the chaise longue to direct the efforts of Will, Jackie and Daniel who seemed to take a positive delight in a little bit of constructive demolition, as Caleb put it to Jane.

“You are an infuriating man with a propensity for making contrary comments” said Jane surveying the mess and concealing her dismay.

“Well if you are disposed to compliment me so well, Mrs Churchill…..” said Caleb who was rigorous in his propriety over terms of address in front of others, especially underlings if not in the outrageous things he said..

“What, you thought it a compliment Mr Armitage? I fear you must be feverish again” said Jane.

“I could make a few comments about the fever you create in me but I fear I should only make you blush. Like that” said Caleb.

“Impossible man!” said Jane, more irritated with herself that he could bring colour to her cheeks so easily.

He grinned at her.

“Break your fast, Mrs Churchill; and
then
comment” he said.

Jane went in to breakfast with Miss Bates who wanted to discuss all that the soldiers were doing in great detail; Dorothy agog to know what the purpose was; and Jane murmured that they were employed usefully as seemed fit while they were about the place setting up a chamber that might comfortably house a patent flushing water closet on this floor rather than the more primitive arrangement of the close stool in the little room off the dining room.

“Why what an excellent idea!” cried Miss Bates “The Bramah closet downstairs is a most excellent contrivance; Mr Woodhouse has one too at Hartfield to prevent his servants having to go down the garden in the cold for emptying things; and the Coles have one on
EACH
floor in their house, only fancy!”

Jane murmured that she was glad that the idea suited and added that it did not seem quite the conversation to go with toast and conserve of apricots even if there were no gentlemen present at the moment.

Miss Bates fluttered an apology and turned the conversation to the sewing Jane was engaged upon.

Jane happily answered all her Aunt Hetty’s questions on her plans and Dorothy, feeling better this day, joined in happily and the ladies planned sewing endeavours to take up their day while the men sawed, hammered and converted.

They were thus engaged, Miss Bates having started Dorothy on the long seam of the centre back of her gown, having completed the two side seams, and Jane gathering ruffles for her own gown, when Fowler came in.

“It’s that fellow Sir Richard again,” he said, “and I’ve left him downstairs in the salon next the reception room; couldn’t think what else to do with him, Madam, with the work in the book room and in here.”

“Dear me, how very precipitate of him!” said Jane. “You had better show him up here to the parlour; or no, perhaps that will not answer; unless, Dorothy my dear, you do mind repairing to the nursery to play with Frances for a while? Annie shall bring her down in a quarter of an hour. You may be in danger if he sees you. Aunt Hetty, I beg you say
nothing
of Mr Armitage to this man; he may be an enemy; I pray you might talk of dear Highbury to him and how much we miss it. Caleb shall go through to the other room and direct from there; the men, setting up a Bramah closet shall continue working.”

“Oh Jane!” gasped Miss Bates “I know I talk too much; it is a fault of mine because I so much like company; can you trust me not to say anything untoward?”

“
Dear
Aunt Hetty, you should think only that you do not want to discuss this nasty business; think about Highbury and its excellent people. I will not let him question you” said Jane.

Dorothy, at the word that this was an enemy took herself off without further bidding; she had no desire to be burned again! The burn on her face was nicely crusted over but she feared she might bear a scar all her life and the thought of the men who had been prepared to go to such lengths filled her with horror.

Caleb nodded at Jane’s dispositions and quickly explained to the three soldiers what Mrs Churchill was suggesting was their supposed purpose.

“Ain’t a half bad idea at that,” said Jackie, thoughtfully, “and explainin’ wot you was doin’ in there too if you gets found listenin’ any time”

“And the plumbing might be installed at a future date; never mind that for now!” said Caleb.

Sir Richard bowed over Jane’s hand and permitted himself to be introduced to her Aunt Hetty.

“You are having work done to the house?” he asked, wincing at the banging.

“Indeed yes!” said Jane with a look of fatuous enthusiasm “My husband had wanted a Bramah closet for a long time; and as it was all fixed up that they should come I could hardly say them nay; and indeed such a modern feature is an advantage, do you not think?”

“We live in such exciting times!” added Aunt Hetty “With such wonderful inventions; fabric woven into such pleasing patterns or printed with complexities no loom could make and wonders like the Bramah closet; why in no time at all the clever little machine Mr Trevithick built might even be made big enough and fast enough to carry people as fast as a post chaise, and never tiring the way horses do! Mr George Knightley – he resides in Highbury where I generally live, you know – considers that it may be ultimately possible for steam powered carriages to reach an average speed of as much as fifteen miles per hour! And just imagine the luxury to travel so fast and cut the time of travel by so much!”