Death on a Platter (10 page)

Jane shrieked when she saw Tillie being escorted to a waiting police car by two hulking uniformed officers. The small, sturdy woman seemed to have shrunk. Her face was hidden by a pale blue hoodie. Her pantsuit flapped pathetically around her limbs. She looked like an abandoned scarecrow.

“Big bullies!” Jane cried. “They should be ashamed.”

Now a prosecuting attorney with a face like a bilious fish told the TV audience, “The River Bluff police recovered enough forensic evidence to charge Mrs. Minnelli with murder in the first degree. Her fingerprints were on the inside of a pair of rubber kitchen gloves that had traces of castor beans. The police also recovered a mixing bowl that had traces of mashed castor beans. The bowl was found in a trash can in the restaurant kitchen.”

Jane kept a seething silence.

Attorney Renzo Fischer was interviewed outside the Clayton County jail, wearing his trademark white Stetson, bolo tie, and ostrich-skin cowboy boots.

“My client is innocent,” Renzo said. “One look at that little lady and you know she’s no killer. I eat at Tillie’s all the time. Lots of people want to see me dead, but I’m healthy as a horse.” He patted his stomach and preened for the camera.

“Tillie has promised to make me more of that ravioli as soon as she’s free. I’m gonna suggest you eat it, too. Lots of it. I need her to pay my bill.”

“That son of a buzzard,” Jane said. “He told Tillie he wouldn’t charge her.”

“He can’t announce on television that he’s working for free food,” Josie said. “Once Tillie was charged with first-degree murder, Mom, the terms changed.”

“They shouldn’t,” Jane said. Josie hoped the beaten Tillie would be able to show some of her mother’s spirit.

“Well, Josie, what are you going to do about this?” Jane said. “You’re supposed to be investigating that man’s murder. Now you’ve let Tillie get arrested.”

“Me?” Josie said. “I haven’t done a thing.”

“Exactly,” Jane said.

“I mean it isn’t my fault Tillie was arrested.” Josie scrambled to find a satisfactory answer. She didn’t want to lose her built-in babysitter. “I’ve already found out something. I talked with Ted this morning.”

Josie felt a flash of guilt. Ted had warned her that Tillie would be arrested. I should have called Mom immediately and prepared her for this bad news, Josie thought. Instead, I got ready for my date. I need to pull my head out of the clouds and start helping.

“I’m going to visit Tillie in jail tonight. She was just arrested this morning.”

“And what are you doing the rest of today?” Jane asked.

“My job, Mom. Ted and I are going to eat pig ear sandwiches for TAG Tours.”

“That’s all! You’re doing nothing else today?”

“I’ve found out something already, Mom,” Josie said. “One of Ted’s clients is an ER nurse. She was there when Clay was brought in. Henrietta called a lawyer before his body was even cold.”

“That’s disgusting!” Jane said.

“It sure shocked the ER nurse,” Josie said.

“In the meantime, you’re going to enjoy yourself while my friend is in jail.” Jane’s face was dark pink with outrage.

“Mom, there’s nothing else I can do. Besides, I’m not going to enjoy myself. I’m going to eat pig ears. Please tell Renzo about Clay’s wife. Tillie’s lawyer has an investigator. He’s on the case, too.”

“He’s useless,” Jane said. “He and his investigators. That lawyer was so busy hamming it up for the cameras, he didn’t mention any of the evidence in Tillie’s favor.”

“What evidence?” Josie asked.

“The prosecutor said he had evidence against Tillie,” Jane said. “
Humph!
Her fingerprints were inside the rubber gloves. Big deal. That’s where they’re supposed to be.”

“Her prints were also on the bowl the cops found in the trash,” Josie said.

“So what? That bowl was from Tillie’s kitchen,” Jane said. “Tillie wouldn’t throw away a perfectly good mixing bowl.”

“She might consider it a small sacrifice to get rid of Clay,” Josie said. “I was only there twice and I thought he was obnoxious.”

“Whose side are you on?” Jane asked.

“Tillie’s,” Josie said. “I’m just pointing out how the police could build a case on what they found. Castor beans grow right outside her restaurant’s kitchen door. She could grab enough poison to put Clay out of her misery. You know that, Mom. We saw the castor bean plants and the poison ivy. We talked about how pretty they looked growing wild in the vacant lot next door.”

“Where anyone could have picked them,” Jane said.

“But, Mom, only Tillie had a good reason to get rid of Clay.”

“Exactly,” Jane said. “That’s why she wouldn’t kill him. It’s too obvious.”

“I think that explanation only works on television,” Josie said.

Josie stared at the massive pig ear sandwich in front of her, a mound of food nearly five inches high. She was grateful the pig ear did not look like it had once been part of a porker—it was simply a deep fat–fried hunk of something.

But what? Were pig ears like rubber? Gristle? They sure didn’t look meaty.

Focus on the potato salad, she told herself. And the barbecue sauce. The red sauce smells delicious. The bread is plain old white. I like both of those. If I close my eyes, I can do this.

Josie wished she could enjoy their picnic at Deer Creek Park. The sky was a blue china bowl and the trees were blazing with fiery color. But Josie didn’t notice the fall beauty. She didn’t even see Ted, who looked absurdly handsome with his square jaw and broad chest.

All she saw was that pig ear sandwich. It seemed to get bigger by the second, throbbing, morphing into a red-spattered monster. Josie had to eat it. She had a duty as a mystery shopper. Maybe she should just take Ted’s word that the sandwich was good. No, Josie wouldn’t chicken out. She would pork out or else. She lived by her code, and her code said she had to taste the sandwich. One small bite for the honor of St. Louis.

“What’s the matter?” Ted asked. They sat side by side at the picnic table. Ted was ready for his snoot.

“I’m trying to get up the nerve to eat a pig ear,” Josie said.

“Just take a bite. You’ll love it. I promise. Doesn’t that barbecue sauce make your mouth water?”

“Yes.”

“And the potato salad is amazing. Here, try that. We’ll approach the wild sandwich one step at a time.” He scooped some potato salad with a plastic fork.

Josie allowed herself to be fed like a toddler. “That is good,” she said. “I’m trying to get up the nerve to bite a pig ear.”

“Please don’t keep me waiting,” Ted said. “I want my snoot. We’ll dig in on a count of three. Come on. One.”

Josie picked up the huge sandwich with both hands. Bright sauce dripped on the newspapers she and Ted had spread on the table. A clump of potato salad plopped out onto her paper plate.

“Two,” Ted said. “Three!”

Josie bit.
Yum!
She took another bite. It was even better. By the third bite, she was painted with barbecue sauce and splashed with potato salad, but she didn’t care.

“Fabulous,” she said. “You were right. I thought a pig ear would taste rubbery, but it’s crunchy. Kind of like those pork rind snacks, only better.”

“I told you.” Ted chomped his sandwich with a resounding crunch. “Wanna try some of my snoot?”

“No, thanks,” Josie said. “But you have barbecue sauce on your snoot.” She wiped a red smear off the tip of his nose.

“Before I finish, I’ll be basted in barbecue sauce,” he said. “That’s why I wore this red shirt.”

“Plaid shirts are chic,” Josie said.

“So is barbecue,” Ted said. “Barbecue experts say the snoot sandwich is St. Louis’s contribution to barbecue.”

“I thought it was our sweet spicy sauce,” Josie said, licking her fingers.

“That actually comes here by way of Kansas City,” Ted said. “Sweet tomato barbecue sauce is served throughout most of the Midwest. Barbecue is different in other parts of the country. North Carolina ’cue is mostly pork. They wait and add the sauce when they sit down to eat. They may use a vinegar sauce with pepper flakes. Or it might have some tomato. Some eat the barbecue plain.

“Memphis likes its barbecue with a rub of spices but no sauce. Texas goes for thick spicy tomato sauce and beef brisket. That’s cattle country.”

Ted took a big bite of his snoot sandwich.

“And this is based on your hands-on knowledge,” Josie said.

Ted chewed thoughtfully, then said, “Along with a solid intellectual foundation.”

“From that magazine in your waiting room,” she said.

He winked at Josie. “I’m prejudiced, but I like St. Louis barbecue best,” Ted said. “We’ve been undiscovered and unappreciated for decades. Thanks to your work for TAG Tours, the whole world will know how good it is.”

Josie finished the last of her pig ear sandwich. “I had no idea I could lead a crusade just by stuffing my face.”

“You’d think there would be a shortage of food this good,” Ted said. “Pigs only have two ears.”

“Do you really think anyone in Alyce’s neighborhood is going to demand pig ear sandwiches?” Josie asked.

“Why not?” Ted said. “Too snooty?”

Josie groaned. “I can’t see McDonald’s serving a Mc-Snoot.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing,” Ted said.

“I wonder why TAG didn’t choose St. Louis ribs,” Josie said.

“Too easy,” Ted said. “Ears and snoots are unique. C & K has the city’s sweet spicy sauce.”

The wind ruffled the edges of their newspaper tablecloth and sent a paper napkin flying. Ted retrieved it while Josie gathered the barbecue-soaked picnic remains and tossed them in the trash. It took ten minutes to scrub off the sauce with wipes and wet towels.

Dark clouds appeared from the west, but the fall air still felt warm. “Now that your ordeal is over, want to go for a walk?” Ted asked.

Josie took his hand and they strolled over to the rocket ship slide that gave the park its name. The colorful playground also had a “launch pad,” plus ladders, tunnels, bridges, and walkways.

“Is this the slide Amelia used to play on?” Ted asked.

“No, the one she used was smaller,” Josie said. “My girl is too old for slides now. Besides, she’s transferred her affections to the giant turtles at Turtle Park. I used to enjoy taking her to this park. She was about the age of that little girl.”

A thin, dark-skinned child with her hair in pink ribbons blazed her way down the rocket ship slide, while her mother waited to catch her at the bottom.

“I want to fly!” the girl shouted. She ran to a kid-sized plane and jumped in the open cockpit.

“For a while, Amelia wanted to be a pilot like her father,” Josie said. “But she’s changed her mind several times since then.”

“What’s the latest?” Ted asked.

“She wants to be a veterinarian.”

“She’s good with Harry and your mom’s dog. She could intern at my office.”

“Don’t reserve a place for her yet,” Josie said. “I expect her to change careers a few more times. Right now, I’m hoping she’ll finish college.”

“It must be tough being a working mom,” Ted said, “even with a kid as good as Amelia.”

“I took this job so I could spend more time with her,” Josie said. “And my mom has been a big help. She picks up Amelia at school when I can’t get there. I’m lucky to have her on call as a babysitter.”

They walked in silence—a deafening silence. Josie watched the wind create red-and-gold whirlwinds of leaves. Ted pulled Josie down on a blue park bench near two flame-red bushes and said, “Josie, it’s none of my business, but your mom pretty much blackmailed you into investigating Tillie’s case.”

“So?” Josie felt uneasy. She didn’t like Ted criticizing her mother.

“So, it’s dangerous to meddle in a murder investigation. I know you’ve had some luck in the past, but poking around in a murder can get you killed.”

“You’re right,” Josie said.

Ted smiled. His eyes crinkled. Josie wished they hadn’t. She loved his eye crinkles. “It is none of your business.”

Ted’s smile disappeared.

“I love you,” Josie said, “but Mom needs my help.”

Ted tried to put his arm around her, but she shook it off.

“But that’s why Tillie has a lawyer,” Ted said. “Renzo will have a case investigator, a professional private eye. You shouldn’t be doing this on your own.”

“I didn’t ask for your advice, Ted. I appreciate your concern, but I want to go now. It’s time to pick up Amelia.”

Angry clouds scudded overhead. The wind had a cold, slicing edge to it.

“Josie!”

“I really need to go home,” Josie said. “I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”

Ted looked contrite. “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I had no business meddling. It’s just that I love you so much. You’re so beautiful and funny. Of course you can handle your own life. You’re doing a terrific job. Amelia is proof of that. Can we start over, please?”

Josie nodded.

“I want to help,” he said. “You’ve taken on a tough task, but I’ll be there for you. If you need dinner, if you want me to pick up Amelia, if you need a bodyguard, I’m there.”

“That’s better,” Josie said.

Ted kissed her. A long, lingering kiss.

“You taste like spicy tomato sauce,” she said. “I forgive you. If you really want to help, go with me on my next mystery-shopping assignment as penance for your sins.”

“Where?” Ted said.

“I have to eat brain sandwiches at Ferguson’s Pub in South City.”

“Are you kidding? That’s no penance. I love brains,” Ted said. “My dad used to take me there. When do we go?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Josie said.

“Perfect,” Ted said. “Do you want me to drive you to Amelia’s school now?”

“No. We need to have a private mother-daughter talk,” Josie said.