Deceitfully (Sinfully Series) (5 page)

“Really now?” She eyed me curiously as if she was trying to see if I was lying.

“Yes, ma’am.” She bent down to look at one of the books on the lower shelf. Images of her lowering herself on top of me came to mind, and I tried pushing the thought away. No way was I getting a hard-on in the bookstore. She sat that way for a moment, reading the description on the back, before gracefully standing back up and looking over at me.

I teetered back and forth on my heels, unsure if I was supposed to be pretending to look for more books or if this was really working.

“You have no idea what you’re looking for, do you?” She was right in more ways than one.

“Am I that obvious? I was honest about not being interested in bars anymore, but I feel like a fish out of water. I have no clue how to flirt in a bookstore.” I ran my hand through my hair and blew out a sigh. I needed to walk away and never come back.

“Little bit. For starters, you stick out like a sore thumb. Most are going to assume you’re in here to pick up women or to buy a book for your girlfriend. My advice? Stop looking and let it happen organically. Oh, and look for engagement and wedding rings. You probably shouldn’t put too much effort into those ones.” Winking, she showed off the huge ass ring on her left ring finger, and I could only nod in response.

“Noted. I feel like a jackass. I’m really sorry.” I put the book back that I had in my hand and felt awkward walking away just then. I was making a fool out of myself, but she was being sweet about it.

“It’s okay. You seem like you could be a sweetheart and are hot as hell. If I was single, your flirting might have definitely worked, but in the back of my head, I’d be questioning your agenda. Give it time, Tate. Don’t try so hard, though.” She came in and gave me a light hug, but her hands moved down to my lower back and around to my abs before she was finished. “Fuck. Ryan had better be happy that I’m a faithful woman. Your body is so hard and—rigid. Whoever you end up with is damn lucky.” She bit her lip and she looked me up and down. Standing there, staring back at Brianna, I again felt out of place.

Her advice was spot on, and I intended to take it seriously, but with her looking at me like she was planning something naughty, she was sending me mixed signals.

“Thank you? I work at a gym so if I didn’t have the definition that I do, I’d be doing something wrong. And thank you for the advice. I’ll try not trying for a while and see how it works out for me.” I held my hand out to shake her hand and she looked up with a question in her eyes.

“Can you lift your shirt? I felt them, but I am dying to see them, too. Just to give me a little memory before I head off to married life,” she asked, all giddy.

Now I was the one laughing and couldn’t believe how the day was turning out. The old Tate wouldn’t mind showing off, and while I was tempted, I knew it wouldn’t be for the benefit of either of us. Winking, I told her, “Maybe I’m saving those for someone special. It was nice meeting you, Brianna. Your fiancé has great taste in women, by the way. See you around.” Backing up a few steps, I watched as she took one last look, and I turned to walk away. I needed to get back to work, and I felt like I hadn’t wasted away the day now.

Pushing open the door, I felt better about my situation and kept repeating to myself to let it happen naturally.

OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, I focused on spending quality time with friends and really thinking about where my future was headed. I did things that made me happy and tried being more helpful to others, putting forth more effort to be nice to those around me. I felt so much better about my life in general compared to how I was just a few weeks ago.

Before I realized it, it was Friday night and the reunion was planned for the next day. I didn’t mind going solo; I wasn’t up for pretending to be settled down. Cylas, Graham, and I had agreed on no dates to leave the night open for opportunities. Trevor and Matt would be the happily taken men of our group. I’d gotten a haircut the day before and as I lay in bed, I wondered how things would have been if Payton and I had worked out.

Would we have gotten married? Had kids? I smiled at the thought of seeing her with her sweet little Emilynn. That baby was the spitting image of her mother and they were inseparable. Motherhood looked good on her, and she was truly happy. I might not get to see her often, but the pictures she sent of the family and our weekly chats helped to keep us connected.

Looking back over the past couple years, Payton and I had a rollercoaster of a friendship, but we’d stood the test of time. While I settled into friend mode with her, we had that weird bond that allowed us to remain friends, even after our kinky nights together in Vegas. Hell, she invited me to her baby shower and wedding. That definitely showed how far we’d come into the friend zone. As far as female friends went, I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

Checking the time, I figured why not give her a call to see how everything’s been. Baby Emilynn was only four weeks old, but Payton already had her on a set schedule from what it sounded like. If I remembered right, she should already have her in bed by now.

I found her number in my phone, one of the few girls I hadn’t deleted, and waited as it rang. After the third ring, her beautiful voice came on the other line, and I could tell she was exhausted.

“Hey, pretty girl. How ya hanging?” I asked.

“Desperate for sleep. Ryder had some business upstate that he had to tend to and I’ve been a single mommy for the past two days. Tate, come watch her for two, three hours tops so that I can take a damn nap. Please?” Desperation filled her voice, but I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You know I’d be there any time you needed. A three and a half hour plane ride from Chicago to San Diego just for a nap, though? Call Tristen. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” I felt bad, but I lived way too far away for convenience.

“You think? I didn’t want to burden them.” In the distance, I could hear the sounds of Emilynn cooing. It made my chest feel funny.

“I’m sure they’d love to and don’t they say it takes a village to raise a baby? Utilize the village, Payton!” I said the last sentence sternly, causing her to laugh.

“Enough about me. What’s new with you, hotshot?” Exhaustion laced her voice, and I wished there was more I could do for her. At least Ryder would be back within a few days.

“High school reunion is tomorrow. Oh, and I’ve finally decided to stop whoring myself out. I’m being good now,” I replied, not knowing how much she knew of my tendencies. I waited a moment for her response, itching to hear her thoughts.

“That’s amazing, Tate. I’ve seen the softer side of you that I know you hide. You’ll know when she’s worth it. Don’t be afraid to let her in. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way.” I wanted to tell her that she saw that side of me because I wanted it to be her. I was ready to take the leap with her, but she didn’t reciprocate my feelings. She was part of the reason of why I ended up using women. She was the one I pretended I was with each time.

“Softer side, huh?”

“Mmmhmm. You may dominate in bed, but you have a heart of gold. You know my story. When I started feeling things for Ryder, I ran. Lost a lot of good time that I could have had with him, all because I was scared. Don’t repeat my mistakes.” That last sentence cut deep into my soul. When she ran from him, she fell into my arms.
Was that a mistake to her?

“I’ll try my best. So, am I coming out there next time to see everyone or are you coming to me? I thought that for the holidays, maybe we could find a day or two to catch up, in person. Plus, I still haven’t had the chance to meet Emilynn,” I tossed out there, hoping that we’d be able to see each other a few times a year.

“You should come out here! Maybe this time, you can meet everyone in a more casual manner, you know, instead of a baby shower and wedding,” she excitedly replied. I missed her spunk.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll let you get back to the baby. It was good talking to you, Payton,” I let out as I rubbed my hand over my face.

“Anytime, Tate. You’ll always be my peanut butter.”

Not knowing how to respond, I questioned, “Thanks?”

“I’m your jelly. You’re my peanut butter,” she flatly said without a trace of sarcasm.

I chuckled. “You need sleep. Go to bed and kiss Emilynn good night for me, too.”

“Night, rock star. Call me when you find the one.”

With that, I was able to fall asleep with a smile on my face, dreaming of peanut butter and jelly.

I NORMALLY RESERVE SATURDAY mornings to be lazy and lay in bed as long as possible. Today would not be one of those days. Cylas and Graham were going to be pounding on my door in less than an hour for an early morning run, and I was reprimanding myself for agreeing. Rolling over on my side, I reached for my phone and saw that I had a text.

Cylas: Might be a little late, man. This bitch won’t leave

Me: Need me to run interference?

Cylas: Nah, just need an extra hour or so. If she’s going to stick around, I’m expecting some breakfast, of some sort ;)

Me: ‘Nuff said. Meet Graham and me down at the park at noon. Enjoy the feast.

After texting Graham, I set the alarm on my phone to wake me up at eleven fifteen and fell into a deep slumber, taking advantage of the postponed schedule.

The banging on the door jolted me awake. Fuck. I never missed my alarm, and if they were at my house, I knew it was late. The sheets were keeping me warm, and I knew that as soon as I got out of bed, the brisk morning chill would wake me up. Oh, how I hated being responsible. Tossing my legs over the side of the bed, I rubbed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. I had no clue how tonight was going to go, but I was starting to get anxious.

Padding over to the door, I unlocked the deadbolt for Cylas and Graham. I went to make some much-needed coffee while they got comfortable on my couch. I was surprised they hadn’t laid into me yet.

After a pouring creamer into my coffee, I realized that neither had uttered a single word. I walked over into the living room, coffee in hand, and looked them over before asking, “So, no run?” They weren’t dressed in running gear and weren’t pressing me for time. Looking at the clock on the wall, I noticed that it was already fifteen til two.

Cylas looked over at Graham with a disapproving look. “He had the bright idea to put our best foot forward, and by that, I mean he thinks we should go out and buy fancy suits and rent some overpriced car for the night. That way, the girls we went to high school with will think we’ve actually become successful and aren’t just teachers, trainers, and accountants.” Lowering his head, he added, “His idea, not mine.”

I could tell Cylas was already over the whole idea, but Graham was happy as could be. Shit, at least he had a great paying job. It might be boring, but he made a lot more money compared to Cylas and me. Backing Cylas up, I told them, “Fuck that. I’m wearing black dress pants and a dress shirt. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll wear a tie. Do you really plan to find someone worth taking home tonight? All the girls we used to hang out with are either married, divorced with kids, or so unrecognizable, it’s scary. I’m going because Rachel asked. Plus, it said business casual. I’m going heavy on the casual part of that description.”

I could visibly see Cylas relax at hearing my words. Graham wasn’t one to do things alone so I knew that he was trying figure out his next plan of action. I wasn’t going to change myself for one night of reminiscing. They could take me as-is.

“You always ruin the fun. I left that school with dreams of playing in the NFL, and now I’m in a cubicle dealing with rich people’s taxes. It’s not exactly the best story. At least you and Cylas are coaches of sorts. I’m doing a typical white-collar job. It sucks, dude.” I could hear the frustration in his voice. He was leaning back, looking up at the ceiling, and I didn’t realize he saw himself as something other than one of the few success stories from our school.