Deceitfully Yours (19 page)

Jude

A chill sweeps over me, but it’s more from Kylie’s warmth
missing from the bed than from the sheet being thrown off my body. My pillow smells like her shampoo. She always manages to end up on my pillow with her head curled under my chin. Her nightmares have decreased in intensity, and I’m hoping she’s getting closer to opening up about them.

The smell of coffee draws me to the kitchen. The coffee is brewed
, but Kylie is missing. In a note next to the coffee she says she had an early meeting and she’d be back in a few hours. Saturdays have become our day to laze around the house. I’m a little surprised she had any plans, knowing I was coming back home today.

My phone rings as I pour myself a cup of coffee. A quick glance to my left and I realize it isn’t my phone. Kylie left her phone on the counter. The phone stops ringing
, but the name of the missed call is glaring at me.

Mason?

I snatch the phone off the counter and look closer to convince myself my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me.

Why would Mason be calling Kylie?
The only thing I can come up with is that Mason is trying to convince Kylie he’s a good guy. Maybe make nice with her to get to me.

I’m halfway to the door when I realize I’m still nude.
After running to my room and pulling on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I’m out the door and speeding down my driveway. Whatever Mason is up to, I need to warn Kylie to stay away. She has no idea how corrupt Mason is. He’d stoop to anything to get to me, and using Kylie is not beyond him.

I’ve only been to her place once. That day she was reluctant to let me take her home. I have no trouble remembering her
condo and finding a parking spot less than a block away. I made the trip here in a little less than forty-five minutes, which means I broke a lot of speed limits without even realizing it.

I ring the bell and knock on the door impatiently. The door opens
, and Stacia stares at me, wide-eyed and alarmed. “Where’s Kylie?” I ask, brushing past her frozen stance and into the living room. A tall, familiar man has his back to me, but spins around when he hears me entering the room.

“Mason?” I know it’s Mason
. I’m just trying to get my head to comprehend what he’s doing in Kylie’s home. He looks startled for a few seconds before he covers it with a grimace. “If you’re trying to pull Kylie into one of your schemes…”

He laughs
, then shakes his head. “You have no idea.”

“Here it is,” Kylie says as she appears in the hallway, looking down at something in her hand. Mason rushes
toward her and snatches up a folder. Kylie’s gaze darts up to look at Mason, and then toward me. Her face crumbles. Her eyes immediately glisten with tears as she turns ghastly pale.

“You see
, Jude, I don’t need to pull Kylie into my schemes. She is the scheme. Kylie is my best girl. She’s been scamming you from day one.”

I look from Mason to Kylie’s
tear-drenched face, and I don’t need to ask any questions. Her face gives away the truth.

“You’ve held this against me for so long,” Mason says, holding up
the folder. I realize what’s in it in that moment. I feel like someone’s kicked me in the gut. I hate being blindsided. I feel horribly weak when someone hits me when I have my guard down.

This whole act was about that file?

Mason won, and not because he got his hands on that, but because he finally hurt me the way he always wanted to. I turn to escape the room, and Stacia steps out of my way, her head bent in shame as if she was the one who stole my heart and betrayed me to Mason.

Kylie jumps in front of me
, blocking the exit. “It’s not what you think,” she says in a shaky voice. She reaches out and touches my arm, but I shake her off. Touching her, smelling her, even seeing her face hurts my heart at this point.

“Then what the fuck is it?” My
loud tone causes her to flinch, cowering against the door. “What is it, Kylie?” I repeat in a lower voice, leaning toward her. Tears are pouring down her face, but she has nothing to say.

I grab her by the arms and pull her up against me. “Tell me. Tell me
you’re not the lying bitch I think you are. All that whispering between you and Mason at the wedding…”

“I’m sorry,” she sobs.

“You’ve been lying to me from the beginning. About everything.”

“No, it wasn’t all a lie. Jude
, please, can we go somewhere and talk?” She looks nervously over my shoulder at Mason then back at me. I don’t care if she doesn’t want to talk in front of Mason. Obviously she needs to get me alone so I can believe her excuses.

“We have nothing left to talk about.”

I can’t…I can’t take any more. I can’t take seeing the sorrow in her eyes. If she opens her mouth and lies to me again I’ll break. I shove her off to the side, toss her phone on the floor, and slam the front door shut with a growl that doesn’t alleviate the scorching pain in my chest.

The glass panel on the door
crunches, but I refuse to look back and see if it’s in as many pieces as the heart I left behind on the living room floor. I sensed Kylie was trouble from the beginning, but I pushed that nagging feeling back and let myself believe what I wanted to see. Or maybe I only saw what she wanted me to. A con artist never lets you know who she really is. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. Love can’t be based on a lie. I once told Kylie that a dream was an illusion, so as I pull my car into the road, I leave behind the illusion I had of a life with Kylie.

Kylie

“Kylie,
please open the door.” Stacia has been camping out on the other side of my door for three days. Her constant babysitting is unwanted. I wish she would just let me wallow in self-hate; I deserve it. I can’t get the look on Jude’s face when he realized I stole that file out of my head. I hurt him in a way that’s unforgivable, and now he probably doubts everything we shared.

That
day I went to that restaurant, I knew Jude would be there. Everything was supposed to play out so easily. I get into his house, find the safe, and disappear in less than a week. Never get attached. I know the rule, but I broke it because I was so hungry for a taste of him. I never planned on the animal attraction between us, and I definitely never planned to fall in love with him. I ruined things so badly, and I don’t know where to go from here.

My phone rings
, and I expect it to be Stacia trying to get me out of my room, but it’s not.

“Hello,” I whisper into the phone. I probably sound like I’m waking from the dead. I haven’t spoken to anyone in days and my throat feels raw.

“Kylie?”

“Hey, Tyler
. How are you?”

“Uh…I’m okay
. Are you all right?”

I clear my throat and try to add some pep into my tone. “I’m fine
. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to invite you to this concert I have on Friday. If you’re busy
, it’s okay. I wanted to invite you just in case.”

“I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Great. I’ll send you the time and address.”

“Al
l right.”

“And Kylie?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you feel better.” The
line clicks, ending the call. I drop the phone on the floor, groaning in frustration. I have to get up. I can’t lay here and mourn forever. If not for me, I need to get out of this bed for my brother and for Stacia. I can’t change what I did to Jude, but I can try to be the woman my mother expected me to be, the person Tyler needs me to be.

Stacia is sitting against the wall with her head on her knees when I open my door. She looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and sighs. “Thank God.” She rises to her feet and hugs me.
“You haven’t eaten in three days.” She steps back and looks at me. “Your face looks sunken, and your eyes are swollen.” A tear falls from her eye, and she quickly wipes it. “I know you love him, but you can’t do this. You can’t give up. We’ve been through so much together. Please, let me help you get past this.”

“I’m sorry,” I croak, tears forming behind my puffy eyelids. I’ve pulled Stacia out of some pretty rough places
, and now I have to let her do the same for me. I follow her into the kitchen and make an effort to eat the dinner she’s made for me.

After
ward we curl up on the couch with my head resting on her belly. She strokes my hair and does her best to distract me from thoughts of Jude, but that’s nearly impossible. She falls asleep before me, so I pull a blanket over her and turn down the television. I feel bad for causing her so many restless nights. I’ve lost Jude, but I haven’t lost everything that matters to me.

********

Tyler begins his violin solo, and I try to forget about my desperate act last night. I know I said I would concentrate on Stacia and Tyler, so I have no explanation for why I went to Jude’s house two nights later. I knew deep inside he wouldn’t answer the door. It cut me deeply to stand out there while he was on the other side hating me. I want to explain to him. Tell him how I ended up working for Mason.

As I pulled out of his driveway I saw the lights shut off in his bedroom. I pictured him getting into his bed full of anger for me.
We shared so much love in that house and now it has all been wiped away by the ugliness of my deceit.

Tyler’s short solo is flawless
, and my heart blossoms with pride as he continues on with the rest of the orchestra. I snap pictures and imagine how many of these memories of Tyler my mom and I would have if she were still here. Patricia has been wonderful. She has a ton of pictures of Tyler. I’m so glad we reconnected when we did. Moments like this are priceless.

Tyler’s
group is led off the stage, and before he can join us in the audience, my phone buzzes. I step out into the hallway and take the call. “Hello.”

“Kylie?”
Oh God, Mrs. Baxter.
She’s probably calling to berate me over what I did to Jude. I contemplate hanging up, but I can’t be rude to her.

“Yeah.” I begin to pace up and down the hallway with my heart beating out
of my chest.

“How are you
, dear?”

“Uh…” I didn’t expect her to sound sweet.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Jude, but you have to fix it.”

I sigh into the line. “I can’t. I messed everything up
, and I can’t go back and fix it.”

“Do you love him?”

“Of course I love him, but love is not enough.”

“Love is always enough. We all make mistakes
, especially when it comes to love. You can’t just give up. Make him hear you. Prove to him you love him.”

A single tear drops down my face
, and I hate myself for letting the pain start to swell in my heart again. I thought I was doing a good job at containing my feelings, but Mrs. Baxter is bringing them back up. “I don’t know.”

“
Will you at least try to talk to him?”

“I drove out to his place last night. He didn’t answer the door.”

“So corner him, make him face you. Then even if he shuts you out, you’ll know he knows your side.” Cornering Jude will be like trying to cage a lion.

“I’ll try.” I lean my forehead against the wall and barely hear anything else
Mrs. Baxter says. I’m going to confront Jude, and he’s going to tear my heart apart for what I did to him.

********

I park a few cars down from Jude’s in the underground parking deck at his hotel. He doesn’t notice me because his eyes are glued to the screen of his phone. I pop out of the car and jump in front of him before he can pass me. He’s on guard immediately, stepping back and narrowing his eyes. He looks tired, and his shadow of a beard is a little thicker than usual, totally covering the jagged scar Mason gave him. He tries to step around me, but I block his way.

“You don’t want to do this, Kylie.”

“Yes, I do. I just need you to hear me out for five minutes.”

“Why
? So you can concoct a new story? What else does Mason need from me?” He advances on me, his nostrils flared, eyes widening.

“
Please…if you give me a chance to explain.”

He backs me up until my ass is against the hood of the car.
He leans in, pressing his body against mine. His fury is evident in the way the veins in his neck protrude and the dark threat lingering behind his brown eyes. “You just don’t get it. You can’t explain your way out of lying to me, stealing from me, and you definitely can’t explain how you looked me in the eyes, told me you loved me, and then pulled this shit.”

“I do love you,” I plead in a small voice. “I was scared
.”

“You can’t just say you love me, then turn around and betray every trust I had in you. I don’t believe anything you say.”
He reaches out and tears my shirt open in one swoop, rendering me silent. My buttons clink against the hood of the car in the empty lot.

“Now you can be more convincing.”

Shit
. His eyes flare, and I know his anger is ruling him. A wicked smile appears on his sexy lips.

“Jude…”
I push against his chest, but it’s like trying to move a granite statue.

“What? Isn’t this how you convince men to trust
you?” He pushes up my skirt. He uses his legs to part mine. Then he slips his fingers past my panties and strokes my flesh.

Oh God!
I shouldn’t be reacting to him now, but my body is so starved for his touch it can’t begin to understand the inappropriateness of the situation. Even though we’re in a deserted section of the lot, anyone can discover us.

“Hmm…wet…always so…
wet.” He leans in and nips my neck with his teeth. “Did Mason teach you how to get wet like this?”

“No…God
, you have to know that’s all you.”

“I don’t know
anything. I know you used this tight little cunt to fool me.” His finger plunges into me. I fall back against the car, my back arching and hips pushing into his finger. At this point I don’t care if we’re discovered. I can never keep a clear mind when he touches me, and I don’t care if anyone watches the heights he’ll bring me to.

Suddenly
his finger is replaced by something larger, pushing into me swiftly. God, I’ve missed the way he stretches me.

“You might want to start convincing m
e now that my head is focused on your tight pussy.” He growls as he pounds into me rapidly, leaving me no chance to form words. The tightly coiled ache of need deep within me begins to loosen. My climax surges through me ferociously, the pleasure so intense it renders me silent, my mouth wide open and my head spinning.

He continues his merciless retribution. His cock jerks inside of me
after a few strokes. He hunches over me, gasping into my neck as his hot seed erupts into me. “Why?” he mumbles as he fights to catch his breath or calm his anger. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair, kissing his neck and chin. I wish I could change the hurt I’ve caused him. I want to hold him until he feels how deep my sorrow is. His body tenses under my fingertips, and he curses.

“Fuck!
” His shout echoes through the empty garage as he pushes off me, disconnecting us and looks down at me in disgust. Pain explodes in my chest as I realize how much he regrets even touching me. I knew this was more about his anger than his need to be inside me, but I wasn’t counting on how his disgust in what we just shared would cut me.

“What the fuck am I doing?” He adjusts his pants
, then runs a hand through his hair.

Embarrassed that I’m still exposed to him
, I slide off the car and adjust my clothes as best I can with the missing buttons on my blouse.

“This can’t happen again. Stay away from me.”
He turns to walk to his car, and I know this is the last opportunity I’ll get to explain anything to him.

“Mason killed the
first man I ever loved.”

He
freezes in his spot but doesn’t turn back.

“
Shane was going to change my life. Get me away from Mason. He was a street kid, and Mason took him in and gave him a life, but not a good one. Mason lured me to a warehouse and…It was horrible. I still have the nightmares.”

He turns around and
stares at me, his features not so marred with anger.

“I’m sorry.
I was scared and stupid. I didn’t want to cross Mason and lose you too. I should’ve told you sooner, but never doubt what I felt for you.”

He
sighs, his shoulders slumping as he walks toward me. He reaches out and touches my face, wiping away tears I didn’t know I was shedding.

“God
…I love you,” I announce, leaning into his hand, closing my eyes, and savoring the feel of his touch against my skin.

“I’m sorry you’ve been through so much.” He kisses my wet eyelid then backs away, taking away his touch. “I hope you find a way to get your life back.
But this…” He points between him and me. “This is over. Without trust we have nothing left. I wish you would’ve come to me for help. I could’ve fixed it all for you. Everything we built has no foundation now.” He rubs his eyes and looks back at me. “Any building without a foundation will crumble, Kylie.” He shrugs his shoulder, looking forlorn. “I don’t see how we can get out from under all this rubble.” He turns and walks to his car, revs the engine, and drives past without glancing at me.

I slide down the side of
my car with my arms holding my stomach as though that will help the sick feeling I’m having. I cry quietly in the cold, dark corner of the Baxter Hotel parking deck. My head is aching and my eyes are swollen when I pull out my phone and call Stacia. I can barely get past my sobbing as I tell her what happened. She finds me still squatting next to my car, looking like an attack victim with my tear-stained face and ripped blouse. She helps me up off the ground and starts to put me back together, one broken piece at a time.