Deceitfully Yours (4 page)

Kylie

This gym has become overpopulated. As Stacia and I walk out of our yoga class, I notice the number of women in the locker room has doubled. Stacia is my roommate, and the only other person in this world I know who’s stuck in same situation as I am. This apartment is our shelter, our solitude from the craziness that is our lives. In here we pretend the con artists we really are when we step out the door don’t exist. We live by three rules, and the third one is the most important.

Never fall in love.

“So how’d it go? You haven’t said a word about him all morning.”

I shrug my shoulders as I wipe sweat off my chest with a towel. “We had dinner, he laid down his terms, I accepted, and then we had sex. The end.”

“Wait! You slept with him.” She pauses to gape at me. “That is not the end. You seem disappointed.”

“I’m not disappointed,” I say as I shove items into my gym bag. “I’m angry that it was as good as I expected. Better even.”

“So you’re upset a sexy man gave you an incredible orgasm.” Her loud voice causes the women in our row to glance over. They’re pretending like they’re not listening to our conversation, but they are. Women are experts at nonchalant eavesdropping.

“No,
” I whisper. “I’m mad because a cold, sadistic man has me up all night craving the things he wants to do to me.”

“Sadistic?”
A wicked smile plays at the corner of her lips.

“Apparently, Jude Baxter is into BDSM
, and I’m the catch of the month.”

“Was he rough with you?”

“No. Not yet. I think he didn’t want to scare me off.”

“Well
, then you don’t know how sadistic he is. I’ve been with men who like to play, and you’d be surprised how thrilling the experience can be.” She pulls her bag over her shoulder, walks out of the locker room, and I follow suit.

“I mean what can be more exciting than a sexy man dominating you in a sexual way?” she asks as we leave the sweat
-dampened gym and walk into the cool midday air.

Nothing
. I can’t think of a single thing that’s made me feel such passion and longing. “He won’t even kiss me,” I blurt out. I didn’t realize it was still bothering me until this moment.

Stacia looks over at me and
laughs. “Guys like him have rules. If no kissing is one of them, then you have to adjust. I’m sure he’ll adjust to the things that make you uncomfortable.”

As she fumbles to put her keys in the lock
at our front door, she sighs then turns to face me. “I’m worried about you. This guy sounds like the kind of guy who will break you down. From the effect he already has on you, I’m not sure you’ll be capable of building yourself back up.”

“I’m not going to let him break me. This is not about love
, and you know that.”

“The only thing I know is it’s never about love. It’s always about lust until it isn’t anymore. Then
you’re curled up under the covers wondering when your vagina grew a heart.” She’s so over dramatic.

“Stacia, please.” I push past her and drop my bag in the entrance closet.

“I’m serious, Kylie.” She follows me into the kitchen and leans against the counter as I pull out a bottle of water and drink it. “You haven’t had sex in years. You can’t disconnect, and this man is going to use his cock to fuck with your head. He’ll have you begging him to chain you to his wall and whip you just so you can feel close to him.”

“Must you be so crude?”

“You’re about to step into a Dom’s lair, and you’re uncomfortable with dirty talk? You’re going to need to adjust quickly because there’s going to be a lot of foul-mouthed fucking going on.”

“I love you, and you’re my only family. And maybe you’re right about him
, but I can’t stop now. I don’t want to stop. I’m jumping in with my eyes wide open, so can you just be there for me if I start to drown in the deep end?” She’s my other half, the only person who will ever understand why I do what I do. We’re alike in every way. We have similar coloring and the same long, blonde hair. We have similar bodies that we keep trim and fit by working out five days a week. The only discerning difference is her gray eyes and my green ones. Most people mistake us for sisters, and that’s exactly what our friendship feels like.

She walks over and pulls me into her arms
, and I hug her. “I’ll jump in and pull you out even if I have to risk my life to do it.”

I know she means it because I’d do the same for her.
We’ve been in this together for five years, and I couldn’t imagine being half as sane as I am now without Stacia Opal.

********

Are doctor’s offices supposed to feel high-class?

That’s the first thought that comes to me as I sit in Dr.
Kendra Moore’s waiting room. Everything is so pristine and white. The table and reception desk are glossy and fingerprint free.

“
Kylie Weber?” the nurse calls out.

I follow
her into a large room that doesn’t have the ordinary table with stirrups. At this office, those mundane features have been traded out for a plush chair that looks like a recliner that moves into position with buttons.

Dr. Moore is a young brunette with
shockingly blue eyes and a radiant smile I immediately read as fake. I’m the expert at fake smiles, and I’m on instant alert.

“
Good morning, Ms. Weber. I understand you're a friend of Jude's?”

“Something
like that.” I'm definitely picking up on a weird vibe.

“
All right, we'll run the usual test, and I'll send him the report in a couple of days.” She walks around preparing everything she needs, and I can feel her resentment rubbing off on me. I really don’t like the way she said “usual test.” She wants to remind me I'm one of many women, and she’s seen them all.

I hate needles, but I hate it even more that this woman is the one wielding
them. She rattles off unnecessarily as she swabs my arm with the cool alcohol pad. I try to ignore her, but she's persistent.

“So where did Jude find you?”
She busies herself with the needle as though she's not prying into my personal business. It's making me really uncomfortable that this woman knows what my relationship is with Jude, and I have no idea what hers is with him.

“
We ran into each other at a restaurant.” I smile at her and hope her questions are over.

She chuckles as the needle pierces
my skin, and I flinch. “Jude always has a way of finding the most…exotic women.”

I'm not sure if that was a complement
, but it didn't feel like one coming from her. I’m pretty sure she was going to use another word but caught herself before she offended me. I know I should bite my tongue and try to escape as soon as possible, but I can't resist. I ask, “So how do you know Jude?”

She finally look
s into my eyes as she answers, “Oh, we've been friends since we were kids. His sister and I are inseparable. I'm the maid of honor at her wedding. Maybe I'll see you there?”

She only makes that last comment because she knows she won't be seeing me there. I get the feeling she knows everything about
Jude’s relationships, and she either disapproves or wants in. I'm going with the latter.

Once she's done sucking my blood and
what’s left of my patience out of my body, I grab my bag and rush toward the door.

“Hope to see you at the wedding,”
she chirps as I open the door. I swing back around and glare at her well-sculpted smile.

“
That's not real likely. I'm not interested in becoming part of the family. I'm only interested in how well he can fuck me.” Her eyes widen and she tries to hold back her gasp, but it's the reaction I was looking for. I smile to myself as I strut out of her office. Even though she made me uncomfortable, I know I won't question Jude about her. We don't have that kind of relationship. So as much as I want to tell him to go fuck himself for sending me to a woman who obviously has had a crush on her sister's brother for years, I won't. I just need to learn to separate my feeling because what Jude and I have is strictly physical.

********

“Are you really going?” Stacia asks.

She’s watching me as I pull my
skin-tight, sleeveless red dress down over my expensive lingerie. Usually I avoid spending large amounts of money on anything, but sexy underwear is a must. Rule number one in my business is to not sleep with a client, but occasionally I have to take a few items of clothing off to keep him interested enough to give me what I need. Rule number two, never stick around too long or a man will get agitated and attempt to take what you won’t give him.

“I don’t like this,” Stacia says. She strides into the room and flops down on my bed.

I meet her eyes in the mirror as I put on my earrings. Her lips are pouty, and her expression a mixture of nervousness and fear.

“I have to do this,” I answer.

“No, you don’t. You’ve just met this guy, and you’ve already broken one of the rules. You haven’t slept with a guy since Shane, and you see how terribly that ended.”

Shane dropped into my life right when I needed him. He was young and charming with wavy blond hair and shimmering gray eyes. Stacia know
s how I feel about her mentioning his name, so I know she’s really trying to talk me out of this. We never talk about Shane, and that’s the way I like to keep it.

I place my shaky hands on the dresser and hang my head. A couple of deep breaths and the tightening in my chest eases but doesn’t disappear.

“He was different. That will never happen again. Girls like us shouldn’t be looking for love and a happily ever after. We don’t deserve it, so it’s not an option.”

“You sound like Mason,” she whispers. I spin around and look into her gray eyes. She’s my sister, friend, and sometimes
mother because she watches over me like one. How we ended up with no one but each other is a long, twisted story I refuse to think about most days.

“Maybe he’s right,” I say.

She flinches then shakes her head, sighing heavily. “He’s not.” She gets off the bed and walks toward me. “This is a mistake. He knows it, you know it, and I know it. I can’t stop you from going to this man, but please be careful. Any man who wants to control you will most likely break you.” She leans in and kisses me on the cheek before walking out the door.

Kylie

Thursday evening, as I leave Portland in my little black convertible, I can't help but feel like I'm leaving a piece of myself behind. This is a far reach from what I normally do. I'm always in control of every detail of every interaction I have with men. But as I roll down the deserted road with nothing but trees lining each side, I know I've lost control of this situation. Jude has taken me far out of my comfort zone. I turn down a narrow road that leads to his home, and I realize I haven't seen another house in miles, probably because like Jude's, they are all hidden half a mile behind these rolling trees.

In the clearing is the most fantastic log cabin. I shouldn't even call it a cabin. It's more a
minimansion version of a log cabin. Stone pillars accentuate the wood frame of the house. The floor-to-ceiling windows are modern yet not out of place. The whole house is illuminated by the soft glow of the lights inside, and I can see the entire interior from my viewpoint. It’s amazing.

As I
step out the car to gaze at it, I realize even the air out here is different. In the clearing beside the house there is a lake, with the moon is shining off it. It finishes off the rustic feel of the place perfectly. Jude Baxter is full of surprises. I would have never made him out to be the quiet, country type.

“Glad you made it.”
His voice startles me, but I know the chills that run up my spine were not because he startled me. It was a reaction to his voice and from the five days of built-up anticipation. I spin around and see him standing on the porch in a pair of jeans and nothing else.

Wow.
He makes country look sexy. His feet are bare on the smooth wood flooring, and he tilts his head and smiles at me. It may be hard to figure out most things about Jude, but that smile I can decipher. He's glad I didn’t change my mind about our arrangement. His open appraisal makes me uneasy but highly aware of the chemistry between us. I’m used to having men ogle my body, but it’s different because I know the other men won’t get as far as they want to. With Jude I know what he wants, and I know I’ll readily give it to him.

“
Nothing could've kept me away.” I walk up the stairs, coming to a stop in front of him. I reach out and run my hand over his chest and down his flat stomach. I slip one finger into the waistband of his jeans, and I caress the warm skin there. Just as I reach down for the treasure, he wraps his hand around my wrist and he pulls my hand out of his pants.

“
Eager?” he asks.

“Horny.”
I smirk then brush against him as I enter his house. The house actually gets better from the inside. Vaulted ceilings with wooden slats running along it. The couches are dark brown, and wine-colored area rugs cover the floor. Everything is wide open, so from my spot at the entryway I can see through to the kitchen to my right, the living room to my left, and a dining area in between. I love this place. I never thought I’d like such seclusion, but the view alone…

Yeah, this place is definitely better on the inside. “Do you want something to drink?”
Jude asks as he shuts the door and walks into the kitchen.

“U
h…no, I’m fine.” I crowd him against the counter.

“Let’s sit and talk,” he says as he steps away. I groan in frustration and turn around and practically pout at him.

“More talking? This is starting to sound a lot like a regular relationship.”

“In order for this to work, we need to be able to communicate.”

“Fine,” I huff. “Let’s go talk.”

We sit on the stools
, and I ask, “Is there some kind of written contract I need to sign?”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t think we need one. We need to trust each other. I don’t want you to agree to a bunch of things in the contract then realize in the moment that you‘ve changed your mind. I don’t want you to feel obligated. You trust me with your body, and I’ll trust you to tell me the truth no matter what.”

“Okay,” I whisper. He’s a lot more open than I expected. “Can I ask you a question?” He nods. “How many women have you had this kind of relationship with?”

“Four,” he answers quickly.

“How many women have you been with that haven’t…played?”

He looks at me. “More than four,” he says
, then smiles. Yeah, I probably didn’t really want to hear the answer to that question.

“Okay, so how do you decide which women to
do this with? How did you decide you wanted me in that way?”

“I don’t pick and choose women to enter this lifestyle. The two women
who were already into the lifestyle became too clingy. Not that I blame them, because you have to build up so much trust in your partner it can easily be misconstrued as love. But that’s not how I felt, so I let them go before they got hurt.” Good to know he’s not manipulating women and purposely breaking their hearts.

“And the other two?”

“The other two experimented for a while but decided it wasn’t really their thing.”

“So why me?”

“I’m intensely attracted to you. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, all I could picture is having you strapped to my bed with your legs spread and my face buried between them.”

Oh…
Heat rushes to my face and other areas, causing me to shift in my seat. I definitely like the image that evokes.

“Is there anything you’re not willing to try?”

“I don’t want to bleed,” I answer nervously.

“I’ve never made anyone bleed, and I don’t want to.”

“But you do want to hurt me?”

“I’ll spank you with my hand, a paddle, or a flogger. It will be painful, but it won’t be anything you can’t handle.”

“Do I have to call you Sir?”

“Yes.”

“Can we negotiate?”

He gives me an annoyed look then says, “What do you want to call me?”

“Jude,” I answer with a sweet smile.

“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head at me.

“Why not?”

“Because when
I take you downstairs I need your respect. I’m the authority and you need to address me as so. I’ll be the master of your pleasure and pain and I can’t have you—”

I give in way too easily.
“I’ll call you Sir.”

Satisfied with my quick agreement, he continues. “Do you want to keep red as your safe word?”

“Why do I need a safe word? Can’t I just say stop?”

“No. Sometimes you might say stop as an automatic response to pain or too much stimulation, but you can actually be pushed much further.”

“I’ll keep red as my safe word.”

“Do you have any other questions?”

I shake my head, and he licks his lips and smiles, silently leading me downstairs. I follow him cautiously down a flight of stairs behind the kitchen. The bottom level is pitch dark, so he grabs my hand and pulls me down a dimly lit hall and stops at the first door. The door swings open to a bedroom. It’s cozy with plush, dark carpets and a king-size bed that’s decorated in beige and brown tones.

“You’re welcome to use this room when you’re here. There’s a bathroom over here.” He slides open a door
, and we step into the bathroom together. This is actually much nicer than mine at home. It has a large, glass-door shower that would probably fit four, a huge claw foot tub, and vanity. Next to the vanity is another door; I push it open without an invite. It’s a dressing room with one wall covered in lingerie and other kinky outfits. I can almost feel him peeling the lace underwear off my body, or tearing the satin bodice off and licking my aroused nipples.

“
Do you expect me to wear these?” I spin around and face him. He answers with a nod.

“Have they been worn already?”
I ask.

“No, it’s been a while since anyone’s been down here
, and all her items have been removed.” I glance back at the array of outfits and spike-heeled shoes and can’t help but feel a little out of place. I’m a lot of things, but I hope I can pull off being a vixen because this room is a vixen’s boudoir.

“Let me show you the rest,” he says. I follow him out
of the room, and we continue down the hall and stop in front of a set of double doors. He punches a code into a small box, and the lock clicks. The lights automatically come on as the door opens.

Okay
, so two days ago my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up everything I could on bondage and BDSM. This room is not as bad as I expected. The fact that he led me to the basement had me thinking I would be chained up in a dungeon in the next five minutes. This room looks more like another bedroom. The walls are not dark as I expected. White walls with a big bed with dark sheets in the center. There is no shortage of ropes in this room. Ropes on the bed, ropes on the table, and there are even some hanging from the ceiling. He obviously has an affinity for ropes.

“This is not so bad,” I say. I can’t help but notice
how at ease he looks.

He laughs at my sta
tement. “Let me show you the room we’re using tonight.”

“Wait…there’s more?”

He nods at me and points to one of the two doors on the left side of the room. On the right side there are two more, and I feel like I’ve walked into a funhouse. I’m not sure what’s going to be behind each door, but I’m excited to find out.

The door creaks open
, and I now know what happened to the table that should have been in Dr. Moore’s office. She gave it to Jude, because the black leather table equipped with stirrups is nothing short of professional grade. It sits in the middle of a gray room with fluorescent blue lights. There are mirrors angled on the ceiling and a few on the walls. His equipment, if that’s what you can call it, is hanging on hooks on the wall. Gags, nipple clamps, dildos, and handcuffs are the ones I can make out, but there are plenty of items I’ve never seen before.

“Tonight
, I’ll strap you down and fuck you till you scream.” When did he get so close? His whispered words in my ear bring me back to the whole reason we’re here. The attraction between us is now sizzling in this room, and as nervous as I am, I want him now. In any way he’s willing to give it to me.

“Where do we start?” I ask. If he tells me to jump on the table right now I will.