Deception (3 page)

“If we’re going to have a conversation, I need to walk. I’m losing my breath.” She looks down at the ground, then up at the passing cars, anywhere but me.

“Are you avoiding the question, doll?” I try to sound light, but I’m really curious as to what her answer may be.

She peruses slowly up my body and when her brown eyes meet mine, she blushes furiously. “The scenery is a lot better than what I’m used to.” I have a feeling there is more behind those words than what she is actually saying, but don’t push my luck.

“I don't have long, I need to start running again in a minute.”

I’m guessing that means inviting her for coffee this morning is out. I fight a frown, “You off to work after your run, then?”

She raises an eyebrow at me.

Right, I guess I’m being too nosey.

“No, I’m a stay at home mum.”

More like a milf
.
Probably married though, damn.

I catch her eyes roaming over my body, before she bashfully looks away again and inquires, “What about you? Are you off to work after this? What is it you do?”

“I'm a firefighter. I just came off the night shift.”

She rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath, “Of course you are.”

I have no idea what she means by that, but it doesn’t do anything for my confidence. The usual response is women gushing over what a hero I am.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask, causing her to avert her eyes and chew nervously on her bottom lip.

“Well...” She hesitates.

“Come on don’t get all shy on me now, you already stacked it in front of me, it can’t get much worse, right?”

My encouraging smile is lost on her as she glances the other way and mumbles, “Of course someone who looks like you would also be a nice guy. Well I’m assuming you are, since you run into burning buildings and all to save people.”

“Perhaps I’m just plain crazy.” Maybe this will send her running from me, since I can’t seem to turn the other way. I shouldn’t be chasing someone who’s already taken, or anyone for that matter. Commitment isn’t for me.

“Probably, anyone who wears Broncos colours in this part of town is asking for a beat down. This is Titan’s territory.”

A Titan’s fan, urgh.
Another reason I should run for the hills. My feet won’t obey the order from my brain though. My body’s content to stay right where it is. Next to her.

I scoff, “I’d like to see them try.”

She looks me over and I resist the urge to flex. “Yeah, I think you’re safe,” she replies, implying that she likes the way I look. I want to hear her say it. I’m not even sure it’s because of my ego, or if I just enjoy the way she squirms when she becomes uncomfortable.

“What exactly does ‘a guy who looks like me’ mean anyway?” I prompt.

“You know, muscly, big.” She waves her hand at me, to emphasis her point.

“Oh, I’m definitely big.”

Her mouth drops open and she gapes at me. Her gaze lowers downwards, and then she quickly places her hands in front of her eyes; to shield her view as she realises what she’s doing. I love that she gets shocked so easily.

“I’m just messing with you,” I tease.

“So you’re saying you’re not big?”

Oh touché.

When I open my mouth to correct her she cuts me off, “I was joking. You don’t really have to tell me that. This is the most bizarre run I’ve ever gone for.”

“It’s more fun than exercising on your own though, isn’t it? If you usually run this way, do you want to run together tomorrow? We could be running buddies.” I wonder if she can hear how eager I sound. I keep my focus straight ahead, trying to appear unfazed by her answer, when really, just one small conversation with her has me wanting more.

A mischievous smile spreads over her face, “I don’t know. You might not be able to keep up with me.” It’s obvious by her temporary confidence, running is important to her, I can definitely identify with that.

“Oh, I think it might be the other way around,” I chuckle.

“Yeah right. Eat my dust.” She laughs as she takes off and she’s fast. I slow down and appreciate the way her body moves as she runs. The view has me so distracted, I don’t realise that I never got her name or an answer about jogging together again.

*****

D
o you know how uncomfortable it is to run two kilometres with a hard on? Extremely fucking difficult. I managed to play it cool in front of her, but the way that woman’s innocent eyes looked up at me; all big, brown and deceivingly sexy, had me busting at the seams. The pretty pink blush that spread over her delicate skin, made it challenging for me not to rip her clothes off right then and there in the middle of the street. I was tempted to knock myself out on the same pole she ran into just to take away the ache in my balls.

Man, I really need to get laid. It’s been far too long. Unfortunately, it will have to wait another six days until I’m off night shift. As soon as I can, I’m going out on the town.

After taking care of myself in the shower, I head to bed; so exhausted I can hardly stand straight. I can only hope I get some solid sleep. I’m running on empty.

Jake, my housemate, has put the sleeping pills the doctor prescribed in the middle of my pillow. I glare in the direction of his room before shoving the damn things to the back of the drawer of my bedside table. Never again will I take anything that has the ability to alter my state of mind. This is something he should understand about me by now. We’ve lived together for the past eight years, and he knows almost all of my secrets. As far as I’m concerned, that bottle can stay full forever.

As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light. The only problem is staying that way...

Thick black smoke closes in from all directions. He never stops fighting against the impending darkness though. He breathes in deeply, trying to fill his lungs full of air, but it’s the wrong thing to do. I can tell that heat burns down his oesophagus as he coughs and splutters uncontrollably.

Drop down low, cover your face!
My mind screams to the guy in my dream.

I know I’m asleep and this isn’t real, but it feels like I’m awake at the same time, and I have no way to stop the events from unfolding.

Smash your window with the lamp and climb to the tree, you can still make it out of there! Again, he pays no attention to my pleading. Instead, he passes out on the floor from lack of oxygen, just minutes before the flames engulf him, and it’s too late.

I wake up, drenched in sweat, my throat dry and scratchy. I’m not surprised that I suffered yet another day of fitful rest. Anyone would think these unspeakable night terrors would be enough to turn me away from being a firefighter. What they don’t realise is that if they come true; there isn’t anyone more deserving of such a horrendous death than me.

Sitting up, I take a moment to calm my breathing before getting out of bed to get ready for work. I rub my eyes and adjust to the afternoon light. You’d think by now, after years on the night shift, I’d be used to sleeping through the day, but it hasn’t happened yet.

When I walk in the kitchen, Jake is pouring a bowl of some type of sugary cereal. “How do you eat that crap? You need something with more substance in our line of work. That’s hardly going to keep you going all night.”

“I didn’t have the energy to make much else. Unlike you, I didn’t sleep today, I reenergized in a different way.” He looks up and winks then holds his hand out for a fist bump. I glower, ignoring his fist.

“You idiot, you’re prepared to run into a fire on no sleep? Accidents happen when you’re tired Jake.”

“Jealous much?” He jeers.

Hell yeah I am
. It’s not like I’m well rested anyway. A day of sex would have been a much better way to spend my time off of work. My mind flits back to the chick with the dynamite body I saw this morning, reminding me of how much I need to get out this weekend.

“When Saturday night comes around, we’re hitting the clubs.” He knows what that means without me having to explain it. I only go to clubs for one reason, and it’s not the booze or the shitty techno music, if it was, I would go to a pub, much more my scene.

“Watch out ladies!” He wiggles his jet-black eyebrows, which match the curly hair on the top of his head. I have no idea how he pulls so many chicks. It’s definitely not his smooth personality. I laugh at him, and this time when he holds his fist out, I give it a bump.

After we finish our food, we don’t have long to chill before work. We travel into the station together, no point taking two cars when we’re going to the same place.

“Evening boys,” Dex welcomes us, as we walk into the main room. “Beans on toast, dig in,” he says as he stirs a pot one last time and moves over to the toaster.

“No thanks, I ate already.” I always make sure I eat at home when I know it’s Dex’s turn to cook. He still lives with his mumma. She does everything for him, and this is one of the only meals he knows how to make. Jake grabs a plate and helps himself. I swear that guy is like a human garbage disposal. He even ate the fat I trimmed off my bacon earlier.

Within half an hour of finishing his food, Jake is asleep on one of the four bunks that line the wall, catching up on the sleep he didn’t get today. He’s snoring and farting like a trooper, I don’t know whether I want to stick a cork up his butt or a couple in his nose. Perhaps both. First up his ass, then the same one shoved up his nostril, so he can have the privilege of smelling what we all have to endure. I chuckle to myself at the thought. As far as pranks go, he’d definitely deserve to be on the receiving end of that one. Especially after some of the things he’s done to me over the years. Our crew is known to pull a few shenanigans. We have to do something to pass the time.

“That’s just plain wrong.” Dex scrunches up his face in disgust.

“Maybe you should learn to cook something other than beans on toast then,” I rib him.

“Hey, I made nachos last week.” He looks offended.

“Exactly,” I reply, shaking my head. “They were covered in beans too. I thought you would have learnt your lesson last week. Oh well, your funeral, you’re the one who has to sleep directly under him.”

“Come on man, give me your bunk. You never sleep anyway.”

He’s right. There’s no way I’m going to sleep here and chance screaming out in a nightmare in front of the guys. If they knew my struggles, I’d be on suspension and forced to talk to a shrink until I was deemed physiologically okay to come back to work.

“Fine,” I give in easily. Dex scrambles to my bunk before I change my mind and I start on cleaning up the mess he left in the kitchen. God help the woman who he finally ends up moving in with.

I triple check all the stovetop burners are off, and a particularly loud snore from Jake ruins my concentration. My minor OCD symptoms annoy the piss out of me. I sigh deeply and start running my eyes over the dials again, then when I’m finally content everything is safely in the off position, I go into the adjoining room to hang out with the rest of the crew.

The night is pretty uneventful and drags by slowly. No complaints here. No one died on my watch. Boredom is a fantastic thing. I gather my stuff then wake up Jake, to head home for my run and another day of crappy sleep.

*****

A
s I see the woman from yesterday looming in the distance, I slow down to a walk. When her line of sight meets mine, she stops abruptly and then continues at a leisurely pace. I feel myself smirk. It’s good to know that she noticed me too.

I only detect her chewing her lip nervously for mere seconds, before my attention is drawn to her lush tits, heaving up and down from exertion. Oh hell, looks as though I’m finishing this run with some serious wood again.

We stop a few meters away from each other. “Hey, we meet again. I forgot to ask your name yesterday, I’m Luke.”

“It’s Roxi.” She scratches at her arm apprehensively before adding, “Actually, I’m married. I should’ve told you that straight away. I didn’t mean to waste your time.” Her face falls slightly, causing my chest to tighten.

“Meeting you could never be a waste of time,” I assure her. “He’s a lucky guy.” I mean it, to wake up to that sight every day, is every man’s fantasy come to life. It’s for the best, that Roxi’s attached. She seems the wholesome type. I wouldn’t be able to give her what she needs. I’m as far from wholesome as you can get. I don’t deserve the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids, not after what I’ve done.

Her eyes become distant, as she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her shorts. “Yeah.”

I stand there awkwardly a moment, while she seems to be somewhere else. I’m not sure what to say.
What is she thinking?
The look on her face isn’t dreamy over all the talk of her husband, more like flat. I shouldn’t be pondering these things at all, but for some reason I stay here like a fool, hoping to run alongside her. Something about the way she’s drawn back inside herself and appears so lost, calls to me. Makes me want to bring her back, back to the fun teasing woman I met yesterday.

“You okay?” I ask.

She exhales and shakes her thoughts away. “Sure. Fine.”

It’s obvious she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I don’t push. “You wanna run?”

Pulling her hands back out of her pockets, she gazes around uneasily. “Look, it was great to meet you, but I should go.”

Seems I’m a bigger fool than I thought, because my pulse picks up at only getting the chance at a brief encounter with her and nothing more. It doesn’t even matter that she’s married.

“Sorry, whatever is wrong is none of my business. No pressure or anything, but if you ever want someone to run with, I jog through here every morning, at about the same time. I might see you again.” I pray that I do.

“I’ll keep it in mind, Luke. Thanks.” She smiles weakly and turns away, leaving me to wonder why she has such an effect on me.

*****

R
oxi looks over at me, as I fall into a steady pace beside her the next day.

I gaze back at her, unsure if this is okay. “Hi.”

She doesn’t answer, but gives a nod of her head in acknowledgment to what I’ve said. I was sure she’d go back to her old route, but I’m glad she didn’t.