Deep Down (Lockhart Brothers #1) (13 page)

NOAH TOSSED THE SPOON
aside and put his hands on the pizza crusts, spreading out the tomato sauce. It squished between his fingers and he smiled gleefully.

“There you go,” Gene said. “Doin’ it the old-fashioned way.”

We were in Margie and Gene’s kitchen, and I was more than ready for this Friday pizza night. It had been a busy week at the diner and, today, I’d only had time to eat half a grilled cheese. For some reason, the diner had been super busy all week.

“Remind me to bring a casserole over for the Tomlins tomorrow,” Margie said to no one in particular as she set the table. “Tanya had a hysterectomy today.”

“Time to sprinkle on the cheese,” Gene said to Noah.

“Do you know she had a period that lasted more than a month?” Margie continued, turning to me, her brows arched.

“Hmm?” I looked up from the newspaper I’d been scanning. I’d only been half listening to Margie.

“Tanya Tomlin,” Margie repeated. “That’s one of the reasons she’s getting a hysterectomy. And some sort of vaginal mesh, I think.”

“That’s . . . good for her, I guess.”

“You know what else I heard?”

I suppressed an eye roll, hoping it didn’t involve anyone’s lady parts since we were eating dinner soon. “No, what?”

“Kim Lockhart was almost an hour late picking her kids up from school the other day and one of the teachers stayed with them until she got there. She smelled so strongly of alcohol that the teacher refused to let the kids go with her. There was a big scene. They had to call her husband to come get her and the kids. You must have met her, she’s married to Kyle, the oldest boy.”

I remembered meeting Reed’s brother and his wife at the barn dance.

“That makes me sad for the kids,” I said.

“They have two sweet little guys. I’m sure you know them. Kyle brings them in on occasion for pancakes on Sundays.”

“Mama, come see pizza,” Noah said. The oven light was on and he was sitting in front of the oven door, watching the pizza cook.

Gene looked down at him with an affectionate smile. Noah didn’t have a grandpa, but he had the next best thing in Gene. I sat down next to Noah and we watched as the cheese melted and the crusts browned.

When it was done, we all sat down to dinner. I ate several slices of pizza myself, barely even speaking between bites.

“Nice to see you finally eating,” Margie said.

“We were so busy today.”

“Busiest diner in all of Missouri, I think,” Margie said, with a touch of pride in her voice. I’d grown to realize the difference between Missouri natives and transplants was in the way they pronounced the state name. Margie pronounced it ‘Mizzura.’ She was definitely a native.

Bedtime for Noah was eight thirty, and once we got the kitchen cleaned up after dinner I settled him into bed. I curled up beside him to help him fall asleep in the double bed we shared in Gene and Margie’s guest room. I rubbed circles on his back, feeling my own eyelids drifting closed and, before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

I hadn’t had bad dreams for a while but tonight they came back. The nightmare had several variations, and tonight I had the worst one. My father was on top of me, grunting and groaning. Then he disappeared and I looked up from the bed to see my mother looking at me, her mouth set in a thin line of disappointment.

“What have you done, Ivy?”
she said.
“Noah deserves better.”

I didn’t wake up with a scream, like I sometimes did from these nightmares, but with a huge gasp. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding wildly. When I instinctively reached for Noah, his warmth comforted me. I tucked the covers over his shoulders and smoothed the hair away from his forehead.

My body finally relaxed and I curled back up beside my sleeping son. I didn’t think about the past during the day, so why did it come haunt me at night? I thought I’d buried it forever. It took me a while to fall back asleep, but when I did, I slept peacefully until morning. Noah woke me the next morning by holding a forkful of syrup-covered pancake in front of my mouth.

“Eat some pancakes, Mama,” he said.

“Hmm?” I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Oh. Morning, buddy.”

“Pancakes,” he said.

I opened my mouth and let him feed me the bite. He smiled and ran back to Gene and Margie’s kitchen.

Noah and I had breakfast with Gene and Margie and then we passed the rest of the weekend with our usual activities—going to the library, doing laundry and cleaning the apartment. Even though the weather was pretty cool, we also visited the park several times so Noah could play on the swings. I loved weekends because I wasn’t as exhausted as I often felt on weeknights.

But Monday morning it was back to the grind. I dropped Noah off at daycare, sending him off with several kisses and hugs, and went in for my usual seven to three shift at work.

I worked on autopilot for the first hour, keeping a mental tally of the tips in my pocket. Money was always tight. I bought most of our clothes at garage sales, but the one thing I always splurged on and bought new was shoes, and Noah and I both needed a new pair.

Glancing at my new customer at a small table, I groaned inwardly. Tom Marsh. Or, as the police officer preferred to be called, “Sergeant Marsh.” He was a nice enough guy, but he was handsy, and he was getting bolder with time. I preferred to wait on him when he sat at the counter. That way he was on one side and I was on the other side.

“Morning, Sarge,” I said, angling myself to face him so he couldn’t brush against my ass.

“Ivy.” He grinned up at me from his seat and rested a hand on one of my hips. “Looking gorgeous as always.”

“What can I get you to start?” I asked, moving away. “Coffee?”

His unwanted hand on my body made me want to scream inside. I disliked being touched by men, and the fact that he was a cop made it ten times worse.

“Did I hear you’re dating one of the Lockhart boys?” He grabbed and squeezed my hip and furrowed his brow, trying to look disappointed. Instead he looked pathetic.

“No, I’m not,” I said with disdain in my voice. “Coffee?”

I felt the looks of other customers on us. My tolerance had reached its limit. I turned away and Tom’s hand fell away from my hip.

“I’ll come back and check on you in a bit,” I called over my shoulder.

I went to the pass through in the kitchen to look for my orders and Margie slid in next to me.

“You don’t have to let that pervert get touchy-feely, you know. I’ve told you that. I could tell you were about to deck him.”

“I would’ve enjoyed that,” I said, smiling as I remembered Reed’s offer to teach me how to box.

“Go take a break outside,” Margie said. “I’ve got your tables.”

“I’m fine.”

“Go on.” She made a shooing motion with her hand. “Get some fresh air.”

She knew if I took a break in the kitchen I’d wash dishes or prep for Gene. I found those things relaxing, but Margie always insisted that breaks be work free.

I nodded and headed for the front door. The brisk winter air felt good on my sweaty skin. I was in constant motion at work. It made the time pass quickly and kept me in decent shape. But it also made me feel like a sweaty mess by the end of the work day. My clothes always smelled like greasy diner food, which meant I did, too.

There was a bench around the corner, so I took my apron off and sat down. I wanted to clear away thoughts of Tom and how gross his looks and touches made me feel. With one deep cleansing breath after another, I reminded myself that I wasn’t the one who should feel bad.

“Hey, Ivy. How are you?”

I looked up from the bench to see Reed standing several feet away. He wore a dark tailored suit with a bright red tie and a long wool coat. Everything about him was the opposite of a greasy diner waitress.

“I’m good. How about you?”

“Mind if I sit down with you? I’m on my way to the courthouse but I have a little time to spare.”

Lovely was the county seat, even though it wasn’t the largest town in the county. The old courthouse just off the town square was one of the most beautiful buildings around. Reed could walk there from his nearby office.

“Sure,” I said, scooting over.

“Would you like my coat?” he asked. “It’s cold out here.”

“I’m good. I get hot running around all the time.”

Reed nodded and sat down at the other end of the bench. I glanced at the empty space between us. He wasn’t like Tom Marsh, who treated women like playthings.

“How was your weekend?” he asked.

“Nice. I made those snowflakes, you know, where you fold up white paper and cut it with scissors and then unfold it?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I ever made those.”

“What? I love those things. And when I’d unfold them, Noah would ooh and ahh. So I ended up making like twenty of them and hanging them from our ceiling on strings.”

Reed smiled. “Sounds like fun.”

“Well, for mommies and toddlers it is,” I said, shrugging.

“I would’ve loved to be there.” His warm gaze reminded me of dancing with him at the barn dance. He glanced at his wristwatch and sighed deeply. “I have to get to court, but . . . I wanted to ask you . . . can I take you out this weekend?”

“Out?” I clutched my syrup-stained apron in my hands. “Do you mean like on a date?”

“Yes. I really like you, Ivy.”

The hope in his brown eyes crushed me. I’d never been so tempted to accept a date.

“Thank you for asking me,” I said. “But I don’t date.”

He let out a breath and looked at me apologetically. “If I misread the signals, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Didn’t . . . on which count?”

I smiled at his cute lawyer speak. “On both counts. You didn’t misread the signals or make me uncomfortable.”

He turned toward me, his brow furrowed with confusion. “So you like me, but you won’t go out with me?”

“I don’t date.”

“Is it because you don’t have a babysitter? Because my mom—”

I shook my head. “It’s for other reasons.”

A couple seconds of silence passed before he spoke. “Okay. I respect that.” He stood up from the bench. “I have to go, but it’s freezing out here. Are you sure you don’t want my coat?”

“I’m going back in, but thank you.”

He nodded and picked up the briefcase he’d set next to the bench.

“See you at lunch time,” I said.

“Sure. Bye, Ivy.”

I watched him walk to the courthouse, admiring the lines of his broad shoulders and his tall, athletic frame. I let myself daydream about a date with Reed. To have his full attention for an entire evening would be amazing, no matter what we did. And maybe he’d actually kiss me instead of just saying good night like he had at the barn dance.

Or maybe not, since I’d turned him down.

But I had to stay focused on Noah. Even if I indulged myself in a date, Reed didn’t realize who he was asking out. I was so inexperienced I was practically a virgin and I had a deep-seated mistrust of men. I was pretty sure that if I’d accepted, our date wouldn’t turn out to be what Reed was expecting.

With a sigh, I stood and went back to work.

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, I
sat in the pediatrician’s office with a drowsy Noah in my arms. His daycare teacher had called me at work to tell me he was running a fever and I’d brought him right over to the doctor.