Deep Surrendering

Deep Surrenderings

Copyright © 2014 Chelsea M. Cameron
www.chelseamcameron.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are use fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business establishments or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. All rights reserved.

Cover Copyright © Chelsea M. Cameron

Edited by Jen Hendricks

Copy Editing by Kara Malinczak

Interior Design by 
Novel Ninjutsu

Heartbreaker. That was the first word that came to mind when I met Fintan Herald. The second word was tall. If he were to kiss me—something I thought completely improbable at the time—he would have to bend in half to get our lips to meet. Or I’d have to use a ladder. But then he looked at me with eyes that were like sapphires, and I forgot about him being anything other than stunningly attractive. The crazy part was, he seemed to be interested in me, too.

I thought he was crazy for my friend Rory. After all, their parents had matched them up since birth. They had an easy relationship that made my heart sink. But after exchanging a few words, he’d turned to me and said, “Well, Marisol Everly. Tell me about yourself.”

Even in the dark of the bar, I could see his eyes glowing, and that his full attention was on me. Our first conversation hadn’t been anything memorable like in the movies. I’d talked about my graduate classes, he’d talked about his job, and then he’d given me his number.

Nothing about it had been special, but when I got home, all I could think about was Fin. His eyes, his hands, his glorious hair, and the way he could block out all the chaos of the bar to listen to me drone on about my classes. Nothing about me was riveting, but still. He wanted to see me again.

“I don’t care what you say, how many times have I told you that if you were on my team, I would have gone for you the first time I met you?” Chloe said the next morning as we had brunch. She’d gotten a little bit drunk the night before (I’d been mildly tipsy), so her usual hangover breakfast of lobster eggs Benedict was in order.

“I know, Chlo. I’ve heard it,” I said, rolling my eyes and sipping my orange juice. In my relationship with Chloe, I was the moderate one. The cautious one. She’d say the boring one.

“So why can’t you accept the fact that some guy would see how incredibly awesome you are? He’d be a moron not to.” Like a true best friend, Chloe was the captain of Team Marisol.

“I know, I know,” I said, rolling my eyes. Chloe glared at me.

“So, do you like him?”

What wasn’t to like? If I wrote a list of top qualities I’d want in a man, Fin had all of them, plus bonus points.

“I barely know him.” A few hours with someone didn’t make a relationship. It might have gone against the grain to not jump right into bed with a guy after barely a hello, but I guessed I was just old-fashioned that way. Chloe was always telling me my standards were too high and that all my rules were just an excuse not to get close to someone. She was probably right, but that didn’t mean I was going to change my dating policy overnight.

“There are a lot of ways to get to know someone. One of those ways is by getting naked. You can learn a lot about someone by having sex with them.” I was sure you could. It seemed to have worked for Rory.

But there was another reason Chloe was concentrating on my relationship instead trying to find her own. Harmony had completely destroyed her. I’d seen it coming from miles away, but I didn’t want to upset Chloe. When it ended, I couldn’t say I knew it was going to happen, I could only offer my shoulder and tell her that I was on the lookout for eligible lesbians.

At the talk of sex, Chloe stared off into space, and I knew she was thinking about Harmony again. Those moments had become few and far between, but they still happened now and then.

Not that she was going to get over Harmony with a snap of the fingers and some rebound sex, and that was as it should be. You didn’t get over someone you loved that quickly.

“You okay?” I asked. It seemed to break her out of it. She shook her head and then tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m back.” She gave me a tight smile and I reached out to rub her arm. “It’s just because I’m hung over,” she said, resting her head on the table.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You
will
get through this. You’re the strong one.”

“You mean I’m the bitch,” she said, raising her head and wiping her eyes with one hand.

I pretended not to see her tears. I was about to say something else, but then my phone buzzed with a new text message.

“I will bet you ten thousand dollars that text is from Fin,” Chloe said, her mood going from depressed and bitter to excited at the prospect a boy might have texted me.

“As a matter of fact it is,” I said, picking up the phone and scanning the message quickly. That was fast. I wasn’t expecting him to contact me this soon. Wasn’t there something about a three-day rule for communication after a date? But last night wasn’t technically a date, so maybe that was why he texted me only a few hours after we’d last seen each other. It was only three words, but those words still made my heart flutter.

Good morning, Marisol.

It was a simple, seemingly sterile text, but I could hear his voice saying it to me with a little bit of a smile playing on his face. I had no idea what to say to him, and I didn’t want to sound to eager, so I went for formal.

Good morning, Fin. How are you?
I texted back.

“You definitely like him. You’re smiling as you’re texting him. That is definitely a sign. So, what does Mr. Fin have to say?” I shook my head and waited for his response.

I’m doing well, Marisol. I was just thinking that maybe I’d like to see you again.

I couldn’t help the little leap of excitement in my stomach when I read those words. I wanted to see him, too.

“What is he saying?” Chloe reached out and got a hold of my phone, and read our text exchange. “Oh, babe. He wants you. You’d better not say no.” I had no intention of saying no. Well, to the date. I would definitely say no to anything more. I could say no to Fin. I would say no to Fin.

I would try to say no to Fin.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked as Fin opened the door of a rented black Town Car, complete with driver. Tres fancy. I was glad I’d worn one of my nicer dresses and favorite boots, even though Fin had been very cryptic about what we were doing. Spontaneity was sexy, and so was he.

He got in next to me and shut the door with a wink.

“The Prudential Center, please Carl.”

“Right away, Sir,” Carl said. He was even wearing one of those chauffeur hats. It gave me flashbacks to my childhood when my mother had a driver. I definitely didn’t want to think about my mother, so I sat back on the leather seats and tried to figure out what we could be doing at the Prudential Center. There were lots of shops and restaurants, but it was the middle of the afternoon. Too late for lunch and too early for dinner.

“You’re not going to tell me what we’re doing, are you?” I said as Fin stared out the window. He turned to me with a smile.

“You’ll see,” he said, and slid closer to me, the leather of the seat creaking. “And can I say that you look stunning today?”

“You can. I’m not going to stop you.” I knew I was grinning like a schoolgirl, but I couldn’t help it. It had been a long time since I’d felt such sweet flutters in my stomach. Being with Fin was like having a high school crush, when every glance cast your way set you on fire.

“You look pretty good yourself, sir.” He did, in a crisp green shirt and dark jeans with a set of boots that looked like they were much loved, judging by the scuffmarks. I liked that. Most of his clothes looked fresh from the cleaners, but those boots were worn-in.

“Why thank you.” We lapsed into silence as Carl navigated the snarly Boston traffic. I hadn’t grown up here, but I’d adopted the city and it felt like home now. Even after living here for years, there were still nooks and crannies I hadn’t yet explored.

Fin was quiet until we pulled up in front of the Prudential Center, but he smiled as he held the door open for me and thanked Carl. I wondered what he was going to do to occupy himself while we were doing whatever we were doing. I hoped he at least had a book or something.

“Ready?” Fin asked, holding his hand out.

“Sure,” I said, taking it and feeling a spark go up my arm as my skin touched his. I had no idea what I was ready for, but it didn’t really matter.

“Did you know that I was born in Boston but I have never taken a Duck Tour?” Fin said as one of the famous Boston Duck Boats pulled up in front of us. I’d understood when we didn’t go inside the Prudential Center that it wasn’t our final destination. Just a starting place.

“I haven’t either,” I said. It was one of those things that I always told myself I’d do but never followed through on.

I looked at the purple-painted contraption idling in front of us.

“This is it? We’re doing a Duck Tour?” I asked just to make sure.

He nodded. “And then dinner, if the tour goes well. If it doesn’t go well, then I’ll have Carl drop you back at your apartment. But I’m hoping it will go well.” He squeezed my hand and led me toward the boat-slash-bus. Long and open-air, it looked nothing like a duck, but the name referred to its ability to go from land to water.

It was empty.

“I, uh, booked a private tour. Hope that’s okay.” I didn’t know what to say to that. The expense of renting it out was probably nothing to him, but as a grad student, that would have bought nearly all my textbooks for a semester.

“It’s great,” I said as he led me up the steps and the tour guide greeted us. We sat in the very front seat and Fin put his arm around me.

“I’m really glad you’re here with me,” he said. “I feel like when I travel so much I never get to actually see anything. That’s what I’m going to do, wherever I go.”