Deep Surrendering (Episode Two) (10 page)
Read Deep Surrendering (Episode Two) Online
Authors: Chelsea M. Cameron
Tags: #adult contemporary romance
I tiptoed toward the door and opened it slowly.
“Fin?”
Silence.
“Fin? Are you here?” I said a bit louder.
Nothing.
For a brief moment of panic, I wondered if he’d left me again, but he wouldn’t run away from his own apartment. Where would he go?
I left the bedroom and decided a search was in order to find him. Hell, the apartment was big enough that a whole class of children could play hide and seek for hours.
I checked the kitchen first to see if he was making breakfast. No Fin. I tried the living room and . . . jackpot.
He was slumped over on the couch, a book open on his chest. Eyes closed, breathing deeply.
I stopped moving so I didn’t wake him. He must have come out here after he’d carried me to bed. He still wore the clothes he’d had on last night.
Moving a bit closer, I sat down on one of the chairs that faced the couch and watched him.
Sleeping Fin was another character as well. The hard lines of his face were softened, and he almost looked like a little boy. I snuck a peek at the title of the book.
The Book Thief
. Not exactly light bedtime reading.
He muttered something in his sleep, but I couldn’t understand what it was, and then he shifted, causing the book to fall to the floor with a bang. His eyes flew open and he was on his feet, quick as a blink.
His chest heaved and he looked around as if someone was about to attack him.
“Fin! Fin. It’s okay.” He snapped toward the sound of my voice, his eyes wide and wild.
“Marisol.” It took him a few moments to relax and come out of his fighting stance.
“You okay? You moved and the book fell.” I gestured to the book on the floor and he looked down at it as if he’d never seen it before.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry.” He shook his head and said it a few more times. His hair stuck up in the back from lying on the couch, making him look even more bewildered.
I got up and walked toward him slowly, like you would approach an animal that might startle. His eyes kept darting around as if he still wasn’t completely awake.
“Hey,” I said in a soft voice, putting my hand on his shoulder. “I woke up and I didn’t know where you were. Why didn’t you come to bed? That couch couldn’t have been comfortable.”
His eyes finally locked on my face and the panic melted off of him. Under my fingers, I felt his muscles relax. “I can’t sleep with anyone.”
“You mean sleep-sleep right? Not sex. Because I hate to break it to you, but we’ve done that.” My attempt at a joke fell flat.
“I can’t sleep-sleep with anyone.” I put my other hand on his shoulder and stepped closer. I wanted to give him a hug, but I was going to wait a few moments.
“Why?”
“Maybe I’ll tell you tonight. One secret at a time.”
Crap, I’d forgotten about that.
“Okay.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For falling asleep and not making you breakfast.” His arms went around my waist and he yanked me closer.
“It’s still technically morning. And I love brunch.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Brunch it is.”
As we sat down to western omelets and skillet potatoes, I wondered how I was ever going to go back to life before him. I still knew so little about him, but even at this point, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. But there would be time. Our story was just starting. We still had a lot of pages to fill.
And now a bonus scene from Fin’s POV…
This girl was screwing with my head. This girl with the pretty smile and sexy hips and perfect laugh. This girl who saw beyond my name and my money and tried to look into my soul.
Until I turned away. Blocked her out.
I couldn’t let her see deep inside of me. Couldn’t take the look on her face when she realized how sick I was.
I left, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She’d sneak up on me when I tried to fill my head with other things. I discarded one book after another. I even saw Sapphire, but I couldn’t stop picturing Marisol’s features on Sapphire’s face, and I ended up leaving even before we’d started our session. I paid her for the full time, of course. She just patted my cheek and told me to come back whenever I needed to.
I smiled, telling her I would, but when I left the building, I had the feeling it would be the last time.
I wanted things with Marisol that I’d never wanted before. Things like sleeping in the same bed and waking up with her head pillowed on my shoulder, her gorgeous hair spilled out on the sheets, her face relaxed and content. I wanted to take her to a carnival, go on all the rides, win her an absurdly large stuffed animal, and share cotton candy. To take her to the library and pick some books, and then spend hours reading to each other in the park.
Those things had never been on my radar before. I thought they were for other people. Normal people. I wasn’t normal. I had to stay in the shadows where I belonged.
Mari made me want to be in the light.
I kept asking her if she was sure, if she wanted to back out and she always said that she was, that she wanted me. She didn’t even
know
me. I didn’t want her to know me.
I checked on her a few times while she slept in my bed. She’d called me a prince and my bedroom an enchanted forest. I was just waiting for her to disappear. To vanish from my life as quickly as she’d arrived. Leaving me with nothing but the hole I’d lived with my entire life, but this time it would be raw and red and infected. Gouged larger by her absence.
She wanted my secrets. One each night. I’d already planned out which one I would share on each night. I also tried to guess which one would push her over the edge and make her run. It would be one of them. But would it be the third? The sixth?
Or worse, would she take all of them and still want to stay?
And coming May 15
Deep Surrendering
Episode 3
Deep Surrendering is a series of novellas that tell the story of Fin and Marisol. Each novella is around 20,000 words and contains a complete story, but all are part of a larger story arc. They will be released on the third Thursday of each month. The number of episodes is still being decided, but it will be around 12-14, which is two complete novel’s worth of content. For news about this series, please check out chelseamcameron.com and sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter.
This has been a fun ride so far and I have a few people to thank, including my family, friends, my author and blogger families (including the ladies of WDDR), my editor Jen, my copyeditor Kara, my formatter Ali and of course, all of you for devouring the first installment and begging for another. This ride is going to get a hell of a lot bumpier before it gets smooth. Hang on tight.
The Noctalis Chronicles
Nocturnal
(Book One)
Nightmare
(Book Two)
Neither
(Book Three)
Neverend
(Book Four)
The Whisper Trilogy
Whisper
(Book One)
Fall and Rise
Deeper We Fall
(Book One)
Faster We Burn
(Book Two)
(Available from Harlequin)
Surrendering
Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.
Find Chelsea online:
Twitter:
@chel_c_cam
Facebook:
Chelsea M. Cameron (Official Author Page)
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