Deep Within The Shadows (The Superstition Series Book 1) (24 page)

“Yes.” She held out her hand and Caleb’s enfolded it.

There were gleaming hardwood floors throughout. They wandered through the dining room and turned left into a spacious living room. The walls were painted a light green, and crown molding graced the length and breadth of both rooms. A wide fireplace covered in travertine tile rose from hearth to ceiling and took up the center of the east wall. A flat-screened television was mounted above the mantle. On either side were built-in bookcases rising even with the mantle. Large windows along the east wall allowed light to stream into the room. A bulky couch, love seat, and a couple of chairs were arranged around a walnut coffee table.

“I’ve been doing some updates at night.”

Regret lanced through her. She could have been helping him instead of pushing him away. Offering him solace from his grief, instead of stalling.

“It’s beautiful.”

They walked down a hall to look inside the first room on the left, a bedroom. The next was a full bath. Everything was neat as a pin and freshly painted. The small office was the last room on the first floor. Paperwork stacked across the desk gave the impression he was doing some bookkeeping. She looked around with interest. Being with him in his home helped her visualize him as a family man. It gave her a tiny flutter of desire in her stomach to think of him in that way.

“I haven’t gotten around to updating the upstairs yet. I’ve painted a few of the rooms and the hall.” The oak stairs were bare of carpet, but had been refinished. Their footsteps echoed loudly as they climbed. A full bath in need of an update was at the top of the stairs, then three more bedrooms, and a master suite which included a small bathroom with a shower stall, vanity, and toilet. His bedroom had been painted, and had a distinctly masculine feel to it, with the blue walls and a brown and navy comforter.

“I never noticed you were such a stickler for neatness,” she said.

“I guess I’m still in military mode. I can do beer-swilling slob if you prefer.”

She laughed. “No, thank you. I’m a little OCD myself.”

“Maybe all that repressed energy?” he suggested.

And the need to control everything in her environment to empower herself. “You could be right. I haven’t had the urge to clean the sinks since all this started.”

He smiled. “What was it you wanted to try with me?”

There was nothing suggestive in his tone, but her cheeks warmed. The bedroom was as good a place to experiment as any. Her face got hotter at the thought. She tried to ignore his grin.

She held out her hands palm up. “Place your palms over mine.” The steadiness of his gaze, so vibrant blue, sent a quick, pleasurable frisson of desire racing through her. Chill bumps broke out on her skin, and a warm, moist ache settled between her legs. She needed to concentrate on what they were doing, not on how his every look and touch triggered a desire to jump his bones.

She actually wanted to jump a guy’s bones. Not just any guy’s, but Caleb’s. She thought about all the emotions that went along with reaching for those feelings, and didn’t find a moment of distrust among them.

“When I draw energy from the elements, I visualize inhaling it into my body from all around me. I can draw from the air, the plants and animals, the earth, every natural thing. But it cycles through me like I’m a switch on a circuit. I’m only borrowing from them for a while before returning it.”

“Sounds pretty—intimate,” Caleb said.

“It is. It’s a sort of energy partnership.”

He nodded his understanding.

“I’m going to borrow a tiny bit of energy from you, and I want you to tell me how it feels.”

“Okay.”

She took several deep breaths and drew upon the physical connection between their palms. Tender warmth blended with sexual energy to wash through her. She bit back a groan as it ramped up her own physical responses.

She swallowed, uncertain she could even speak.

“We’re on the same circuit. You weren’t just pulling it away, it was flowing back through me at the same time.” His eyes searched her face. “Miranda…” His throat worked as he swallowed.

Her legs felt spongy and weak. She had to get this need he’d triggered under control. She braced her feet apart so her stance was stronger. “Do you want to see if you can borrow it from me?”

“No. I don’t know what I’m doing or how to control it. I’d rather try to give you the energy.”

“Okay.”

He closed his eyes, and the look of concentration on his face made her smile. He looked so determined. And dear.

Her hands tingled with heat, and a slow wash of power flowed up her arms and through her. It nestled deep inside, like a touch, and she bit her lip. The feeling of pleasure building behind it threatened to overwhelm her, and she tugged her hands away. She took two staggering steps back and half sat-half tumbled down on the corner of the bed.

Caleb rushed to her and put an arm around her. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No. Never.” Oh God, the feeling wasn’t going away, and she wanted to rock her hips until she satisfied the delicious ache he’d triggered. She gripped his shirt with one hand and turned her face against his shoulder.

“What is it?”

How was she supposed to tell him? They were just beginning to ease into a new kind of intimacy. “It’s—” Her breaths came in short pants and her heart was drumming inside her ears. “Caleb, it’s pure sexual energy. And it’s—I want you to touch me so much.”

He lifted her face to him and kissed her. The adamant pressure of his lips fed the amazing need that tightened and tightened inside her.

“It’s the same for me, Mandy,” he murmured against her cheek, her jaw, as his mouth brushed against her skin. “You’ve set me on fire for you.”

She reached for the bottom of his T-shirt and ran a questing hand beneath to touch his skin. Caleb yanked it up and off, and threw it aside. The muscular slope of his shoulders and chest looked so wide and powerful. She had to be closer to him, and feel his skin against hers. She swung a leg over his lap and straddled him.

Caleb cupped her bottom with one hand as he slid back onto the bed, taking her with him. He reached for her sweater and tugged it up. So focused on the driving need to feel him inside her, Miranda shed the sweater without a second thought. He reached for her bra, and she allowed it to slide forward so he could toss it aside. She shivered at the delicious brush of her nipples against the hair blanketing his upper chest. She wanted to nestle into him like a second layer of skin and wrap herself around him.

He cupped one breast and kneaded it gently. She had dreamed of having his hands all over her, craved them. She pressed into his palm in response, and relished the sensation that trailed from her breast downward when he squeezed her nipple.

She cupped his jaw and tilted his head so she could kiss him. Her tongue tangled with his in a slow dance that had her blood racing, and she groaned at the onslaught of a sweet rush. He ran a hand up her back to cradle her against him and turned so she could stretch out beside him.

His gaze swept down her naked torso, and his eyes had never burned so hot a blue. He trailed his fingertips down between her breasts and over the dip between her ribcage to her waist and the top of her slacks. “You’re trembling.”

“I want this so much.” Her voice shook. “Want you.”

“You’re the only thing I thought about for months overseas, and all I’ve wanted since I got home.” He unhooked her waistband and slid down the zipper, his movements unhurried, apparently savoring every moment as much as she. When he slipped a hand inside the fabric and around her hip she lifted up so he could tug them down and away.

She didn’t feel embarrassed or uneasy being naked, vulnerable with him, only cherished, wanted. When he ran a hand along her bare hip, she turned against him, seeking the warmth of his skin against hers. She traced his collarbone with her lips, then the heavy pulse beating at his throat.

Caleb drew a ragged breath. His hands moved slowly, insistently, caressing her. He pushed her back and slid down to caress her breast with his lips and tongue. When he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, she gasped at the titillating pleasure coursing deep inside.

She raked her fingers through his hair, discovering the texture of the faintly coarse waves and curls that twined around her fingers. The brush of his stubble against her breasts heightened her desire, but not as much as the realization that she was experiencing this with Caleb, sharing it with him.

Fear had held her back for so long, she was amazed by the tiniest sensation. She couldn’t touch him enough, share a deep enough kiss. Every heartbeat felt like the first. She loved freely for the first time. When he shook free of his jeans and rose above her, she welcomed him. The brief feeling of pressure and discomfort lasted only a moment, then he was inside her, filling the hungry, sensual void, and her heart. The sweet intimacy of being a part of him was almost overwhelming, and she fought back the tears.

He froze for a moment, a question in his gaze as he looked down at her.

“Don’t stop,” she pleaded.

She caught the rhythm of Caleb’s slow, steady movements, and the desire building to give to him as he was giving to her rose up and carried her forward. She reached for the surprising, encompassing pleasure he gave her with joy. It built to a tantalizing crest, until she was almost afraid she might fly apart. She curved her arms up his back and held on as it took her.

Caleb looked down into her face, still aglow from their lovemaking, and smiled. They had been perfect together. Her tawny eyes opened and she smiled. She trailed her fingers down his spine to his ass and cupped his buttocks. He pushed into her again in response, and she made a sound that made him harden in a rush all over again. He bent his head and kissed her. Her response was so loving, his throat clogged with emotion.

He’d been wrong in his assumptions about her stepfather? But if Clay Maddox hadn’t molested her, what had happened to make her close herself off from everything?

Though he wanted to make love with her all over again, Caleb withdrew and lay beside her.

Miranda curled against his side and bent a knee across his thighs.

He brushed her temple with his lips. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No. It was more wonderful than I ever expected.” She ran a hand over his chest. When the silence stretched between them, she stilled. “Just give me a few more moments. I know what you’re wondering, and I’ll explain everything.”

He tried to keep his voice even, but a sense of betrayal was tightening the back of his neck. “How many more secrets are there, Miranda?”

“Only this last one.”

He was used to waiting. He’d waited half his life for his mother to get her act together, and she never had. He’d waited for his father to come back after abandoning them both, and that hadn’t happened either. He had waited for Miranda, but did the woman he had thought she was even exist?

“This isn’t just my secret, Caleb. It’s Juliet’s as well.” He felt tension take over her body. “My mother married Clay Maddox when Miranda and I were twelve. We moved into his house, and for a time Mom was happy and so were we.

“Then when we turned thirteen, Clay decided we needed separate bedrooms. We didn’t want to be separated, but he insisted, and because he was so adamant, my mother insisted we go along with it. He waited about six weeks for us to settle into being separated…”

Every muscle in her body seemed to clench, and she pulled away. She reached for his shirt on the floor and put it on. “I didn’t realize what was happening when she started to pull away from me. We’d always been so close. Then I was going to the bathroom one night and saw him coming out of her room. He was zipping his pants.”

Caleb reached for his pants. She didn’t need to see a naked man while she relived what she was telling him. He slipped them on and moved around the bed to sit next to her.

“Clay molested Juliet, but he used the threat of what he might do to me to control her. He used to lie in wait for me when I least expected it, and whisper to me what he was going to do to her if I didn’t keep my mouth shut.”

Jesus! Caleb raked his fingers through his hair.

She looked up at him, her eyes haunted. “You can’t say anything. She never wanted anyone to know.”

God, he felt sick. He had promised himself he wouldn’t push her to tell him things like this, and it was the first thing he’d done. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “I won’t say anything.”

“She was the one who had to endure it, but it nearly destroyed us both. I’d go into her room after he left and hold her while she cried. Then she just stopped feeling anything. And I didn’t want to feel anything either. It was safer that way.”

“Until now,” Caleb said softly.

She tugged at the T-shirt, stretching it to cover her thighs. He grasped her hand to still the movement and tipped her face up to him with the other. He ran his thumb along her jaw. He’d destroyed the wonderful glow she had when she lay under him, their bodies still joined. Regret clawed into his chest.

Miranda pulled his hand away but continued to hold it. “For years we’ve both been haunted by Clay Maddox and everything he did. Juliet and I are both trying to leave it all behind. I couldn’t let a man touch me. I didn’t want anyone to. I’d seen what it did to Juliet all those years ago, and it killed any desire I might have had for anything physical.”

She swallowed, and then gave him a radiant smile. “Until we started talking while you were deployed. I got to know you again, trust you. Love you. And then you came home and you were here, eager to touch me, hold me, kiss me. All the normal things a man wants to do with a woman. I didn’t think I could have those things. But I wanted them with you, Caleb.”

While he’d been thinking about giving up on her, she’d been working through all this, building up her nerve to try. He slipped an arm around her and gathered her close. His voice sounded like a rusty hinge around the lump in his throat. “We have it all in front of us now, Mandy. Whatever we want to build between us.” When her tension dissolved and she melted into him again, he relaxed with relief. He wouldn’t push again. Whatever she chose to share would be on her terms from now on.