Defiance (New Adult Romance) (Isaac & Maya) (17 page)

“That’s what you wanted to do when you started out. Stop beating yourself up about changing your mind. College is about figuring out what you really want to do for the rest of your life.”

“Yeah, I know. And… um…” I stammer, pausing to take a deep breath. “It doesn’t really matter because I never submitted my grad school application.”

Piper drops her potato chip. “Are you kidding?”

“No. I was a total fucking wreck. I just couldn’t finish it.”

“Holy. Shit.”

“Isaac doesn’t know. I’m not sure how to tell him, he’ll be devastated. I know he’s not your favorite person, but he is
my
favorite person and it will crush him if he finds out. He will soon, obviously, and he’ll totally blame himself.”

“Maya… there’s always next year. Real world experience is important too.”

“I don’t know where I’m going to get it. I can’t imagine going on an interview right now. I need a break, Piper. From everything.”

“You can’t let this derail your life.”

“It already has. I’m so done pretending that I’m okay. The only reason I can even go to school is because of Lisa. I’m fucking terrified whenever I leave the house. I just want to curl up in a little ball and disappear,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “I feel like I fucked up my whole life and I’ll never be able to catch up. I don’t even want to.”

“Hey…” Piper says soothingly as I start to whimper like an idiot. “You didn’t ruin your life. People take gap years all the time.”

“But I made this big huge deal about knowing exactly what I wanted to Osbourne when he agreed to be my thesis advisor and I totally failed him, not that he knows yet.”

“Maya. Relax. He agreed to be your thesis advisor and you
will
complete your thesis. That is all you owe him. Just focus on that.”

“You’re right,” I say, nodding. “I don’t know how I turned into this crazy mess of a person.”

“You are just making up for being a bit of a robotic child. It’s like a late life emotional puberty. It will all level out.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yep. And honestly, it’s been kind of nice to be able to pay you back for always being there for me when I was a crazy mess of a kid. It’s your turn to be needy. Don’t worry about it.”

“Maybe there is hope because you turned out pretty awesome. You really have your shit together.”

“For the most part, yeah,” she answers, smiling confidently. “I do.”

“Are you busy tonight?”

“No.”

“Do you want to go see a movie or something?” I ask.

“Sure. That sounds nice. And
normal.
Nothing heavy though, we need to laugh. Actually, let’s pick something that the gestapo will hate, like a Pixar movie. I think
Frozen
is still playing at the cheapy theaters.”

“Okay.” I don’t have the heart to tell her that
Lisa loves kids’ movies.

“You need to tell him all this, Maya,” she says as we’re walking out of the restaurant. “It will make you feel better and… fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he deserves to know and it’s better to do it now than have to explain it later.”

It’s hard to believe how well Piper is taking all of this. She’s not exactly the forgiving type, all those years of anger management therapy must have kicked in. Maybe she’s right and I will be normal again one day because if she can do it, anybody can. We don’t talk about any of the insanity for the rest of the night. It’s just me and her, giggling and gossiping, the way it used to be. She gives me a huge bear hug when it’s time to go our separate ways and I have a hard time letting go, but we promise to get together again soon. I hope it actually happens.

23

Maya

Isaac basically attacks me when I walk through the door, pulling my bag out of my hands as he covers my face in a thousand hungry kisses until his lips meet mine. His hot tongue pushes into my mouth and I try to kiss him back the way he needs me to, but I’m simply not as revved up as he is and don’t want to fake it. His lips still as he begins to notice my lack of enthusiasm.

“Sorry,” he breathes, loosening his grip on my ass. “You’re clearly not in the mood. I should have figured.”

“It’s okay,” I say, missing his arms around me when they depart. “You can keep going. I’ll catch up to you soon enough.”

“You know that doesn’t work for me. We don’t have to jump into bed right away. I don’t care.”

“Yeah, you do. I felt how hard you were against my belly,” I coo, biting my lip. I’d much rather have sex than tell him what’s on my mind right now.

“Your seductress voice won’t work now, my love,” he laughs, sitting up on the kitchen counter. “What’s wrong? You texted that you had a great time with Piper. Was that sarcastic? Did you really argue with her or something?”

“No, we had a good time. But I, um…” I start tearing up and Isaac is next to me in a heartbeat like he always is. “I lied to you,” I say. “By omission, not to your face.”

“Well, I forgive you.”

“I didn’t even tell you what the lie was yet.”

“It doesn’t matter. I could never stay mad at you, no matter what,” he assures me, his lips pressing against my forehead.

“I’m not going to grad school this fall,”
I confess.

“You’re not?”

“No. I didn’t finish my application.”

“Didn’t or couldn’t?”

“Couldn’t,” I peep.

Cursing himself, Isaac’s face drops and his lips roll together. “I’m sorry I let it all get so fucked up,
Maya.” He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingertips. “I’m really fucking sorry, baby.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is completely my fault. I can barely handle my fucked up life, you never had a chance.”

“I can always go next year.”

“Yeah, but you wanted to go this year.”

“No, I didn’t,” I murmur. “I was just pushing myself so you wouldn’t feel bad. I want school to be over for a while. I need a fucking break. I probably would have gotten in, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be there and I wouldn’t have been at my best. I can’t pretend anymore. I need some time to recover from… him. I’m sick of acting like that’s not true just to prove that I’m not one of those stupid girls who lets some asshole mess up her—”

Isaac cuts me off with a kiss, his thumbs grazing my cheekbones. “You’re not stupid. I hate when you say that, it drives me fucking nuts. If you need a break, then you can take a break. You know how much I love taking care of you.”

“You’re not disappointed?”

“No. Honestly, and I never would have admitted this by the way, the idea of you working 20 hours a week for no money in addition to all the classes and the homework wasn’t exactly appealing. I want to see your face every single second of the day. I
need
to be with you all the fucking time, it’s a struggle not to keep you in bed every morning. So no, I definitely won’t be disappointed if you want to take a year off and do absolutely nothing but relax and let me play with you,” he laughs. “I won’t be disappointed at all.”

“That actually doesn’t sound half bad.
Especially when you say it in your horny voice.”

“Do I even have a normal voice when you’re around? Because I’m constantly fucking horny.”

“Maybe it’s your extra horny voice, then.”

“No, I’m just normal horny because your little face is still all worried, Rookie,” he whispers, pecking the end of my nose.

“It’s just… everybody’s talking about what they’re doing next year and I don’t know what to say. I feel like such a failure. They keep inviting me to go out and I know I should be networking, but I can’t. All I want to do is come home and see you so I can… hide.”

“Maybe you should start tutoring again. I know you want to,” he says. “Then you’d have an excuse, you’d have something to say.”

“I can’t bring myself to leave you hanging,” I admit. “I know you’re bored. And stressed.”

“Maya…” His brow pinches together and for a moment I wonder if I messed up and made him feel worse, but then that consternation morphs into his I-need-to-tell-you-something face. “I won’t be that bored anymore. I got a job.”

“A job?”

“Yeah. It’s cover really, something to make Gloria’s story about me moving on with my life look more realistic. It’s with the architect I used to work with sometimes, building the secret staircases up to the hidden sex chambers.”

“Wait a second. All your playrooms came with a secret staircase?”

“Yeah. It was kind of my signature.”

“That is really cool,” I say, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay with me if you start doing that again. I don’t care, it honestly doesn’t bother me at all.”

“Well, I’m sure there will be a playroom or two thrown into the mix, but the whole point is to make it look like I’m going legit.”

“So you’ll be doing real remodeling and stuff?”

“Yeah, something like that. New construction too. We’ve talked about doing this for a while, so it’s only half fake. I’m pretty excited about it. ”

“I bet you are. That sounds perfect for you.”

“I think it is, but… I’m supposed to be putting in normal hours like a normal person. And I’ve been pretending right along with you that you’re okay too, but I know that you’re not. I’m the one that can’t leave you hanging, but I don’t have a choice anymore. Officially, I’m living at that hotel now and thinking about looking for my own place. Our office will be in the building across the street. I need to be there.”

“Isaac, I’m fine when I’m at home. It’s hard for me to work on my thesis when you’re around anyway. Don’t feel guilty about this.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know it’s difficult but—”

“It doesn’t have to be difficult, Maya.” Cupping the back of my head, he leans down to kiss me. It’s a lot hotter than I’m expecting and by the time he pulls away, I’m pawing at him for more as he chuckles. “What do you think about playing another game?”

“A game?”

“Yeah. I want you to be here at night when I get home. I want you done with your homework and done studying so there aren’t any distractions,” he says, his eyes flicking down to my breasts.

“Wait, are you telling me to—”

“I’m just telling you what I want. What I honestly, truly want from you. So if you need some internal justification for not going out at night, you have it. You know how much you love doing what I say.” His voice is getting all throaty and cocky. I’d really love to put that tilted smirk on his face.

“Yes, Isaac,” I breathe, licking my lips. “I can play that game with you.”

Holy fuck, he is so hot when he grins like that. “I don’t want you to go to grad school. I want you to take a year off to relax and be with me. We’re so fucking close to getting that bubble back. I want you in it all the time. Naked. Screaming. Begging.”

I bet you do.
“I’ll do that for you, Isaac.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

“Me too.” Our mischievous smiles collide as his fingers wrap into my hair. Groaning, he pulls my body close to his and that ever present raging hard on digs into my stomach. I think I’m going to like this game. “You said you had something planned for me,” I murmur as his kisses travel down my neck.

“I did, but I’m not sure it fits the mood now.”

“Oh, come on. Tell me.”

“I want to see you ride me, but I feel like I should symbolically top you now.”

“Isaac,” I laugh. “It’s us. It’s just a game and we can’t even play by the rules. So if you
want
to see me bouncing up and down on you…

He inhales sharply, lifting me into the air. “I do. I’ve been thinking about it all day long.”

“I’ve been thinking about you,” I reply kissing his cheek as I hold on to his shoulder while he carries me into the bedroom. “I love the naughty texts.”

“Me too.” He sits me down on the floor. “Strip for me.”

“Slowly?”

“In theory, but I probably won’t make it very long before I rip your clothes off.”

Giggling, I watch him disrobe first and flop down onto the bed, his head cradled in his perfect arms as he jerks his chin upwards, wordlessly ordering me to get naked. I blow him a pouty kiss as I kick off my shoes and start peeling off my shirt. Isaac always makes this perfect, excited groan when he first sees my bare breasts, somehow being absolutely adorable and smoldering hot at the same time. It’s typically hottest when I take my time and tease him, so after I undo the clasp of my bra I cross my arms so the cups keep me covered as the straps slowly slide over my shoulders.

“Maya…” he moans impatiently, squirming. I let the ridiculously expensive bra he insisted on buying fall to the floor, grinning as he lets out the sound that I yearn for. “Get those fucking pants off faster.”

“Of course, Isaac.”

His eyes grow darker as I unzip and in a blink, he’s beside me, bending me over the bed and pulling my jeans down to my knees harshly as I gasp. For a second I’m expecting him to spank me, something he never does, but instead he kisses my tailbone and drags his tongue up my spine, nipping at the skin on the small of my back along the way. A shudder rolls through my body as he gently kicks my feet apart and wraps his fingers into my hair. He needs to take me. Gushing in anticipation, my heart pounds as I feel the hardness of him press against me, teasing my clit because he’s just too sweet to hurt me if he can help it.

Groaning, I buck my hips up as he drives inside once I’m ready. Isaac leans forward to flick his tongue against that spot below my ear that makes me writhe, his weight pinning me against the bed so I can’t move, my arms trapped at my sides.

“I want you here,” he rasps heatedly into my ear as his finger circles my anus.

“Now?” I gulp.

“Of course not,” he says, dotting kisses along my neck and jaw as he nuzzles his face in my flesh. “I hurt you there, that last time in the apartment... I was fucking devastated, that’s the one place I absolutely can’t handle hurting you and I did.” His grip in my hair loosens, his fingers gently tracing circles on the back of my neck. “So I dropped it. You never brought it up, but if something had happened… I would have really regretted not doing that with you.”

“Isaac… it’s okay,” I whisper, tickling the skin on his hipbones with my fingers. “We don’t have to do that.”

“Yes,” he snarls, pulling my head back and dragging his lips from my ear to my shoulder. “We do.”

I yelp in surprise as pushes himself inside deeply, grunting. “So are we going to start training me again?” I ask.

“We are, but not right now. Hold still, baby.” His grip in my hair is so firm, pulling my chest off the bed so he can grope my breasts while he fucks me. After a few moments of particularly deep and rapid thrusts, my eyes are wide open and I’m about to explode when of course, he pulls out, snickering. I stand up and spin around to pout at him. “You,” he rasps, guiding my head back so he can kiss my throat, “are getting on top of me now.”

I don’t get a chance to say anything before his tongue is in my mouth and I’m squealing into our kiss as he pinches my nipples. He breaks away and lays down on his back, his eyes raking over my flesh as I pant. His dick is so huge, standing straight up and throbbing, waiting for me to climb on and please him. “Am I allowed to come?” I whine, batting my eyes as I swing my leg over his hips.

Laughing, he props up on his elbows to kiss me as I sink down on him. “You’re always allowed to come when I fuck you,” he says, playfully tugging my hair before his fingers skid down my spine. “You’ll know when you’re getting teased.” Isaac lays back, his hands sliding down from my waist to rest on my thighs. “Now start bouncing Rookie,” he orders.

I’m getting pretty good at this. It’s so much fun to go for a ride and watch the lust creep across his face. His eyes spend just as much time locked with mine as they do on my tits. Isaac watches me for a while before he can’t stand it anymore and has to grab them, rolling my nipples between his fingers as I call out. It feels so good, it distracts me and I lose my rhythm, but like always he needs to take over anyway, his hips crashing into mine as he bucks up so far my knees lift off the bed.

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” he breathes. “I could do this all day.”

Me too.
I have no idea how I manage to stay upright when he fucks me like this, but I have to because he loves watching me. I squirt all over the perfection that is his chiseled abdomen and he inhales through his teeth as his fingers tease my breasts. They’re just too good at it, pulling and pinching as he pleases himself with my body. I respond to his touch, unable to take anymore and fall forward, gasping and groaning some semblance of his name as I writhe.