Defying Destiny (51 page)

trying to get attention for himself that he

never bothered to ensure my happiness.

Stacia thinks I’m here to keep the family

together, but I’m really here because I

want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time,

Nash.”

“But…Cort…”

“Cort’s dead,” she said, her voice

rising with anger. “But I’m very much

alive and I’m still young. Why do I have to

sacrifice my happiness because he’s

dead?”

“Rella, I don’t know what to say,” he

murmured, moving further away from her

to the far end of the sofa, dragging the

blanket with him to cover himself. He’d

never been embarrassed by his own

nakedness before.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just

take me as your mate and everything will

work out for the best. I’ve never made

love in human form before. I wonder what

it will be like.”

He sat there in stunned silence. She

seemed to take his calm for acceptance.

She moved closer to him, reaching for him

in the semi-darkness. He caught her by

both arms and held her at arms’ length.

“This is unacceptable,” he said, more

to himself than to her. He looked her in the

eye then. His heart twisted. “I could

never…Cort was my brother and I am in

love with Maralee. Do you understand?”

“You’re telling me ‘no’.”

“I’m telling you ‘no’.”

“I guess I’ll have to join the

Northwood pack then.” A challenge.

“If that’s what you feel you must do,”

he said. “I’ll miss the kids. I’ll even miss

you, but I have to make a life for myself

and that life must include Maralee.”

Rella was staring at him thoughtfully.

The light of the early morning dawn was

just beginning to edge into the room

behind her.

“You really do love that human

woman, don’t you?”

He chuckled. “Would I admit to it if it

wasn’t true?”

He didn’t expect her to start crying.

Tears began to flow like rivers from both

eyes. “I’m so s-sorry,” she sobbed. “I’ve

been so selfish. I…I should have realized

it sooner.”

“Don’t cry, Rella,” he pleaded. “I hate

it when women cry.”

“Go after her Nash,” she said. “You

deserve to be happy. Don’t give up. Don’t

you dare give up.”

“Never.”

The sharecroppers on Maralee’s

property

lived

in

poverty.

She

remembered a time of prosperity and

harmony, but now nothing remained but

destitution and discord. She and William

had been visiting their homes every day

for a week, and every day Maralee

became more and more desperate for a

solution. She wasn’t the only one Aunt

Bailey had financially destroyed, but no

matter how much she puzzled over it, there

was no clear answer to her troubles or

those of the people who were counting on

her.

“This is worse than I expected,” she

murmured to William as they rode away

from the fourth home they’d visited that

day.

“People want to leave. They want to

challenge your aunt, but they are too

afraid,” he said, keeping his horse in step

with hers.

“Of the Wolves?”

“What else?”

Maralee sighed heavily. “I made a

promise to someone that I would never

kill another Wolf.”

“Why would you promise something

like that?”

“Because Wolves…Wolves are…

people.”

William’s pale brows drew together.

“What do you mean they are people?”

“Nothing.” She sighed. “I just won’t

kill them. I won’t change my mind about

that. I’ll go talk to them. I can’t think of

anything else to do. Even if I’m left with

nothing, at least these people can move on

and find lives for themselves without

having to be afraid.”

“
Talk
to Wolves?” William asked.

“Are you mad?”

“I’m mad as hell,” she agreed. “I’m

also a bit crazy if that’s what you are

implying.”

They rode beside each other in silence

for a long time. The manor house was just

coming into view when William stopped

his horse and Maralee paused beside him,

looking at him in question.

“I’ll go with you,” he said.

Maralee laughed. “Who’s the crazy

one now?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this,

but when you left I promised that the next

time I saw you I wouldn’t let you out of

my sight again,” he said. “I need to know

you’re safe.”

She stared at him in disbelief.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he

demanded. “I don’t expect you to feel the

same way about me. I’m okay with that. I

just want to protect you. You always

seemed so strong as a girl, but I saw you

cry every time you thought you were

alone.”

“You shouldn’t spy on people,” she

said. “It’s twisted.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I just can’t seem

to help myself. I’ve always loved you

from a distance and when you kissed me

good-bye...”

Maralee was beginning to feel uneasy

about the entire situation. She had been

spending a lot of time with him over the

past few days, but her mood throughout the

entire ordeal had been somber and

morose. She didn’t think that she had been

leading him on. She was far from over

Nash. “I hope you aren’t getting the wrong

idea,” she said. “I’m sort of already with

someone.”

“Sort of?” he asked. “Who?”

“His name is Nash,” she said, hoping a

name would dissuade him.

William nodded, accepting her claim

without question. “Lucky guy,” he

murmured and urged his horse forward

again.

Maralee trailed after him, keeping her

horse several lengths behind his so she

wouldn’t have to converse with him. Her

thoughts had moved to Nash in any case.

Keeping busy for the past week had let her

escape her bleak future without him,

though her nights alone in her room were

unbearable. She wondered why things had

turned out the way they had. They’d

overcome so much together, trusted each

other, accepted each other’s differences,

but it still wasn’t enough.

Nash needed the support of his family,

and Maralee needed to be free of her past.

She had to atone for her sins so she could

move forward, but somehow her aunt now

stood in the way of the future she’d settled

on. She had to concentrate on this reality

now. She couldn’t lose herself to regrets

and she was sorely regretting making a

choice for Nash without his consent.

She wondered what he would have

decided to do if she had left the decision

up to him. Would he have chosen her or

his family? Would she have been able to

live with herself if he had chosen her over

the happiness of Cort’s family? Could she

have been selfishly, blissfully happy

knowing that Cort’s children were forced

to live among strangers?

“You’re doing it again,” William said,

drawing Maralee from her musings.

She glanced up and found his face

blurred through her tears. She wiped them

away and attempted a smile. “Sorry about

that. Just feeling sorry for myself.”

“No matter what happens, we will find

a way to take care of you, Maralee. Even

if you lose everything, you still have us to

look after you.”

She wasn’t really worried about her

financial situation, which was dire at best.

His statement did allow her to turn her

attention to the more important issue. What

would happen to the people whom she

was responsible for: the servants, the

sharecroppers and the town’s people? She

wouldn’t fail them. She refused to accept

what fate handed her. She made her own

fate now. Nash had given her that

capability.

“I’ll take your horse, miss,” William

said. “They are probably holding dinner

for you.”

They had pulled to a stop just outside

the stables, though Maralee’s mind was a

hundred miles away at that moment.

William dismounted and moved to hold

her horse steady for her. She glanced at

him and smiled with gratitude.

“Thank you, William,” she said and

dismounted.

“Promise me that you won’t cry

anymore, Maralee,” he said in a tone

barely above a whisper. “It tears my heart

to shreds.”

She lowered her eyes. “I’ll wait until

I’m alone,” she said quietly, for there was

no way she could promise him not to cry.

It was her only outlet now that

slaughtering Wolves was out of the

question.

“Mara—”

Maralee put a hand up to stop his

words. “Just give me some time, William.

I have a lot of things going wrong in my

life right now. If I didn’t let some of these

feelings out by shedding a few tears, I’d

be screaming instead.”

“I apologize,” he said. “I should be

thinking about how you’re hurting instead

of worrying about how it makes me feel.”

Maralee glanced up at him. He seemed

to be struggling to keep himself from

embracing her. “Don’t be ridiculous,

William. You shouldn’t worry about me at

all. I am the mistress of this estate, at least

for now, and I should be strong enough to

bear this burden without getting all teary

eyed every time I think of Nash.”

She bit her lip to stop it from

trembling. She wiped her eyes on her

sleeve, and drew a deep and shaky breath.

“Damn,” she muttered. It didn’t seem to

matter how strong she thought she should

be. Nash was gone. She was weak without

him.

“Thanks for showing me around again

today, William,” she said. She knew she’d

fall apart if she looked at him so she

stared at the gravel beneath her feet. “I’d

like to meet with some more farmers

tomorrow. We still haven’t visited the far

southern boundary. Would you mind taking

me again?”

“If that’s what you want.”

She nodded and turned towards the

house, clutching at the fabric of her jacket

in front of her chest. Why did this hurt so

much? She had made the honorable

decision. What she thought was the
right

decision. Shouldn’t that knowledge give

her the strength to move forward?

When she let herself into the manor,

she heard voices coming from the dining

room. Trayburn appeared from the parlor

and caught her by the arm before she could

move in that direction.

“Go upstairs, Maralee,” he said in a

low whisper. “I’ll bring dinner to your

room.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

Maralee asked, stepping backwards to

remove his hand from her arm. She and

her aunt ate their evening meal together in

terse silence, but she loved watching the

woman squirm uncomfortably in her

presence.

“Your aunt has guests.” His voice was

low. “Unsavory guests.”

“The two men with the golden eyes?”

Trayburn looked surprised. “How do

you know about them?”

“Jean mentioned them when I first

arrived.”

“I’ll skin that Southerner alive!”

“I’m going upstairs to clean up a bit,”

she said, “and then I’ll be down for

dinner.”

“But—”

“Trayburn,” Maralee said firmly.

“You have known me since I was a baby,

but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to

concede to my wishes. I am the mistress of

this manor and you will treat me

accordingly.”

Trayburn met her eyes steadily, as if

he were measuring her worth. After a

moment, he smiled. “Yes, Miss Decatur.

I’ll have a place set for you at the dining

table.”

“Thank you, Trayburn,” she said,

proud of herself for asserting her

authority. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

She’d left this house a girl, but returned a

woman.

Maralee hurried to the bathroom that

connected with her room and scrubbed her

face and hands. She feared she smelled

like horseflesh, but she was without a