Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (5 page)

With
a level stare, I said, “Not like this I don’t.”

Crossing
my arms between us once again, I lifted my chin to say I wasn’t going to budge,
not for a second thinking what I wanted would matter to these demons.

Without
another word, Grayson turned to leave the room.  When he didn’t secure the door
behind him, I hastily followed. 

Only
to run face-first into a Hammer demon’s exceptionally warm, unreasonably hard,
impossibly broad chest.

When
I looked up, Rowan was looking right at me for the first time.  I wasn’t quite
emotionless enough not to gasp.  After all, I wasn’t dead.

He
was…I didn’t know what.  Wow was all I could think.  Not a word I used often. 
Or ever. 

At first,
I’d thought the pale yellow color of his hair matched the color of his eyes. 
But his eyes were the color of champagne, and inexplicably glistened like tiny
bubbles in a light golden liquid would.

“Faction
has declared open season on you, girl,” that deeply smoky voice ringing in my
ears, making me think
wow
for a second time.

Suddenly
very much aware my hands were still pressed obviously to his hard chest, it
took me several seconds to step back and sort through what he had said. 
Especially since I could feel the vibrations of his gruff words dancing along
every nerve ending.

These
feelings were not like me.  Maybe while getting tossed around the van, I hit my
head and hadn’t had the presence of mind to feel it yet.  That must have been
it. 

“I
have a name, Rowan.”  The whisper came out without my permission.  I didn’t
even know where that husky, dreamy voice came from.

I definitely
had a concussion.

I
shook off the weird tone I had.  “What’s Faction?”

He
opened his mouth, then closed it.  Cleared his throat, then leered.  I got the
distinct impression he was about to tell me things he knew he wasn’t supposed
to.  He maneuvered his huge body so his back was to the other demons.

“Faction
is part of demonkind, but they don’t live among us, aren’t governed by our
laws.  Any bad press demons get, bet it came from Faction.  They aren’t
malicious, they just don’t follow the monarchy.  Generally, they keep out of
Royal business.  But when they heard about you, about the half-caste who chose
to live as human and was suddenly in a position of great power, they…” He
trailed off, studying me while not exactly looking at me.

Peeking
around his massive chest, I saw Grayson and the brunette Hammer talking in the
corner with their backs to us. 

“Your
life is in danger and you dismiss it like it means nothing,” Rowan growled,
bringing my attention back to him.

No,
my reactions to finding this out were not normal.  Story of my life.  Though I
knew how a normal human, even probably a normal half-caste would react, I
couldn’t muster the outrage, or confusion, or sense of anxiety I knew I should
feel.

Then
I realized the only thing that could scare me.  If my life was in danger…

“Will
they go after my family?”

Rowan
narrowed his unusual eyes.  For the briefest of moments, his harsh, skeptical,
scrunched expression softened.  The next instant—maybe I only imagined it
soften—that annoyed sneer was back.

“Likely.”

“You’re
keeping me prisoner here and just leaving them to…to,” surprised by my frantic
words, I saw Grayson and the other Hammer demon’s heads spin around.  For a
second, I was certain they glared at Rowan, as if they were expecting him to
hurt me.  Or maybe just piss me off.

“Our
job is to protect our Scion,” he snarled so quietly I doubted the other two
males could hear him even though their attention was on us.

I
looked up at him, right into his eyes.  
Protecting me and not them will
destroy me.

Rowan
blinked, and I didn’t understand the look of complete shock he had.  “It’s
unsafe for you to—”

Follow
me, then.
 I interrupted. 
If they
get taken, or die, I won’t survive it.

No
one stopped me when I exited the warehouse.  Rumbling, angry male voices
argued, but none of them demanded I stop or grabbed me around the waist.  No
one threw me over a muscular shoulder to drag me back inside again.

This
was my hometown, and I had a good sense of direction.  The smells, the way the
city illuminated the sky.  I had no problem finding my way back to a main road
and heading in the direction of Clayton, the area of St. Louis County my
bookstore was in.  They hadn’t driven me far, so I knew if I could find the
highway, I’d have no problem getting back.

I
tried to muster up the fury I should have been feeling.  Those idiot males. 
Kidnapping me.  Manhandling me.  Locking me in a warehouse.

Nope. 
None of it got me angry like I knew it should.

A
Tempter even
hinting
at seducing me?  That got under my skin. 
Smoke-and-fire swirled at the thought.

And
the way Rowan had made me…

I
shook my head so hard my neck crackled with resistance. 

Through
my worry about Dad and Benn and my need to get home, I realized why Rowan had
given me that shocked look.  I’d telepathed to him.

I
didn’t know what it meant, but knew enough to know it meant something.

He
was a Hammer demon.  Putting aside the fact that I was a half-caste who could
clearly telepath, proving that old belief false, I
knew
Razers and
Hammers weren’t supposed to be able to.  There had been clinical studies, great
debates about why other castes couldn’t communicate with Hammers unless they
were connected by blood, or by an exchange of blood.

And
I wasn’t Blooded to anyone. 

The
limo pulled up beside me, and the passenger’s side window rolled down.

“I’ll
drive you,” his deep, smoky voice snappish.

Rowan
looked like he’d just bit into an unexpectedly salty slice of pie.  Utterly
surprised, and a second away from gagging.

Analyzing
the situation, I considered what he had said.  He wasn’t demanding I get in the
car.  Did he think I’d get in, and he’d drive me right back to the warehouse?

“To
my home?”

He
nodded curtly, then rolled the window back up.  I human-like shrugged for no
one but myself, and reasoned that a car would get me home in ten minutes while walking
would take a half hour or more along the highway.  A gust of frigid wind stung
my exposed skin, and my decision was made.  I climbed into the passenger’s seat
without looking at the full-caste male inches away.

What
were the emotions a normal person would feel?  My mother was the leader of the
Underrealm.  Three demons and two humans had said it.  It would be naïve of me
to stubbornly assume they were all lying.  Division, Faction, and who knew who
else were out to get me, to do who knew what to me.  Kill me, or worse.  They’d
likely go after my family. 

“Do
they all want me for a reason?”

When
he said nothing, I finally looked over.  Rowan clutched the steering wheel so
tightly, his tanned knuckles had turned completely white.  I hoped this was a demon
reinforced limousine, because this Hammer could easily tear the wheel off a
normal car. 

Did
you expect me to sit in the back?

He
nodded sharply once, and I wanted to roll my eyes.

“I’m
not…comfortable being chauffeured.”

Feeling
no social confines, I watched Rowan, who grew more uncomfortable as he noticed
me staring.  I didn’t care, and after a minute of him sitting like a statue but
for the precise movements he made driving the limo, he finally spoke through
gritted teeth.

“Ask
your question again.”

I
cocked an eyebrow at him.  “Are the people you think I’m in danger from out to
get me for a reason?  Are they planning to kill me?  Use me as bait?  Force me
to…I don’t know…do things for them?”  Pausing to consider every possibility, I
added, “Hold me for ransom?”

Seconds
ticked by without an answer.  I pictured Benn drumming his fingers, because
that was another human gesture that took effort for me to fake.  Besides, I was
afraid any movement or misspoken word would make the switch flip inside Rowan. 
As it was, he already looked like he’d rather jump out of the car while it was
moving and leave me for dead.

“We
don’t know…exactly.”

Guess
then.

Without
any pause like before, Rowan said, “any of your suggestions are possible.  But
Faction wouldn’t risk open war by killing an unblooded Scion before the end of
the first year.  Kidnapping is likely, to keep a Scion they don’t accept from
the Blooding ceremony which takes place at the end of the first year.”

“Is
the first year significant?”

It
took him so long to respond I was picturing impatient fingers drumming once
more.  As we turned onto Clayton Road, I gave it another shot.

Why
is the first year significant?

Almost
immediately, Rowan said, “A Royal has the first year to get his or her affairs
in order before the Royalship is finalized.  Iliana has avoided mutiny among
demonkind by saying her first year is not up, and she was planning to present
you before that time was through.”

Was
it a lie?
 

His
head tilted slightly.  “Likely, but I can only speculate.  Someone told the
Underrealm about you and Iliana never mentioned the existence of a possible Scion. 
A female Royal with offspring before being Royal…simply doesn’t happen.  She
won the ‘realm over, destroyed Nikolai and unseated Noah before any news of you
came out.  Would she have jeopardized her good standing?  Was she interested in
sharing her reign?”

His
eyes flickered over to me for the first time since I got into the limo, and it
was so quick, I nearly missed it. 

“There’s
little way for us to know her true intentions.  But for now, she is playing the
protective mother card, which the ‘realm appears to be…tolerating.  That you’re
a half-caste seems to be Faction’s issue.”

“But
she moved HQ here when she took up office, right?  Why do that if she…” the
muscles of Rowans jaw flexed, and I could tell he was grinding his teeth
together.

Why
do you prefer me telepathing with you rather than talking?

“It
proves...I,” he cleared his throat softly, “didn’t fully believe you were…a half-caste
even could…”

A
slight hint of smoke wisped inside my mind for reasons I couldn’t know, and
Rowan tensed up even more, clutched the steering wheel until it creaked, and
grew jittery.

When
the hint of smoke evaporated, I asked, “Is it the half-caste thing or the ugly
thing or the living as human thing?  ‘Cause you pretty much look like you want
to toss me out of the car.  While it’s moving.  Into a lake.  With cement
shoes.  And—”

“My
feelings,” he jeered, “are entirely irrelevant.”

I
felt something from him, a whisper of…something.  Something he held back. 
Something he was skilled at hiding.  Something.

But
we were pulling up to The Bookstore.  First, I noticed Holly’s car was gone. 
And the store lights were on.  That meant Dad was there.  I hoped Benn was
too.  I hoped they were fine and my worry had been for nothing.  I hoped I
awoke tomorrow and all of this had already blown over.

I
didn’t pry with Rowan.  He couldn’t stand me, for whatever reason.  Nothing I
wasn’t used to.

As
soon as he stopped the car in front of the store, I climbed out and shut the
door behind me.  The hostile environment in the cramped cab of the long limo
was starting to make my palms sweat.

He
seemed more shocked and less relieved at my swift departure than expected when
I knocked on the window.  He rolled it down immediately.

“Is
it safe to expect a demon sentry tailing me?”

A
completely startling smirk played on his lips, then was gone before my jaw could
completely drop.  “One or more of us will be guarding you at all times
for…awhile.”

I shook
off the brief shock and asked,
Dad and Benn too?

Rowan
grimaced, but nodded tersely once and drove away even before rolling up the
passenger’s side window.

What
a strange male.  If I were normal, I’d take offense at his blatant hatred of
me.  He couldn’t drive away fast enough.  But he had driven me home, like he’d
said.  And he did answer some of my questions, unlike Grayson who hardly told
me anything.  I’d take what I could get.

Dad
rushed at me before I got The Bookstore door closed.  His forest green eyes
looked strained, his light brown skin courtesy of his Italian heritage had a
tinge of red.  Usually full lips were pursed, turning them white.  I read these
things in an instant, very familiar with their meaning. 

“Jesus,”
Dad huffed with angry relief, stopping several steps away from me.  “When
Bennett told me what happened, I—”

“I’m
sorry, Dad.  It was all,” I had the lie ready, on the tip of my tongue.  It was
all a misunderstanding.  But I couldn’t say it.  Instead I opted for, “What do
you know?”

“You
two were kidnapped by three demons,
that’s
what I know.  Bennett said it
was Grayson?  The Royal’s advisor?  Savvy, what kind of trouble have you gotten
yourself into?”

I
wanted to defend myself.  I didn’t do anything wrong.  If anything, I should be
blaming him for taking part in creating me.  But the place inside me that
should have been roaring with pride and hurt remained dormant.  The
smoke-and-fire seemed to be resting.  It usually did around Dad and Benn.

“First
we were kidnapped by two Division humans,” I explained.  “Some blonde woman
cracked Benn over the head and put us in a van.  Grayson and two others saved
us from them.”

Practically
inaudible through clenched teeth, Dad asked, “What would Division want with
you?”

I
knew what he was asking.  The only reason Division would be sniffing around
me—since Dad didn’t know Iliana was the real reason—would be because I’d openly
violated the
Human-Demon Treaty
in some way and was being investigated. 
And since no one but Dad knew I was a half-caste, it suggested I’d been
blabbing it around. 

“Maybe
we should talk about it later,” I said, thinking about Benn, who I knew was in
the room but hadn’t said a word yet.

“We
will talk about this now, Savannah,” he barked.

I
had no delusions about my dad.  I cared for him.  He was the best father anyone
could have hoped for an admittedly difficult half-caste like me.  But he
certainly wasn’t without his flaws.  And our relationship was…different. 

I began
to share ownership and run his bookstore when I turned sixteen instead of either
of my other two options; staying in high school, or moving to the Underrealm.  High
schools had an option to graduate on a student’s sixteenth birthday.  Anyone could
take advantage of it, and a lot of students did.  But early graduation was for
half-castes if they decided to go to the Underrealm.  In case they ever decided
to return Up Above, they had their high school diploma.  Even though everyone
knew no half-caste came back from the Underrealm. 

Dad
didn’t give me the choice to stay in school.  He never even asked.  I went to
school on my birthday, and found out I never had to go back at the end of the
day.  He expected me to choose the Underrealm, though he never said that to
me.  When I didn’t, I got the silent treatment for a week. 

He
renovated the apartment on the second floor of the store for me, and I was
living on my own ten days after my sixteenth birthday.  We saw each other once
a week after that to discuss the store.

When
I was growing up, he never brought friends or women home.  Not because I had a
problem with it, but because he was afraid I would scare them off.  In the heat
of him yelling at me about something stupid like groceries, he told me that. 
Victor Cole was ashamed of his only daughter.

I
never held it against him.  I couldn’t exactly blame him.

A
practically deformed half-caste demon without discernible emotions of any kind
and a blatant lack of social skills?  Yes, I knew I was hard to love.

None
of it mattered anyway.  He was always there when I needed him.  Dad kept me
grounded, to a home, to a life.  Our relationship wasn’t perfect.  It was far
from ideal.  But Victor Cole always picked up the phone when I called.

For
that, he deserved the truth.

“It’s
about Iliana,” I said after a long silence.  That made him stop working his
jaw.

Only
now that Dad was silent did I realize Benn hadn’t moved an inch since I walked
in.  He leaned against the couch with his arms folded over his chest, his mouth
set in a thin line.  Anger shot from his usually kind, blue eyes.

“I’m
sorry, Benn.”

He scoffed.
 “I know what you are now.  Whatever Grayson did to me, whatever thoughts he
put in my head, now I know.  And I was worried
sick
for you.  I woke up
at that bus stop and flipped the hell out, ran back here, told Victor
everything I could.  But I couldn’t let him call the cops.  ‘Cause of something
they
did to me.  I couldn’t do
anything
.”

“And
then you pull up in a
limo
, perfectly
fine
, chatting it up with
some dude like
nothing
happened?”

Would
you have preferred me return in a body bag?
I thought, but said instead, “Things are complicated.”

Benn
looked spooked for a moment, then shook his head sharply.  “Unless you think
I’m too thick to understand, feel free to enlighten me.”

“You
already know.”

“I
want to hear it from you.  My best friend.  The girl I’ve known for half my
life.”

I
sighed, feeling tired and knowing I should be feeling a lot more, but didn’t. 
“I’m a half-caste Razer demon.”

Benn
narrowed his eyes.  “You look nothing like—”

“It’s
glamour.  I have no control over it, but it’s still a glamour.”

“You’re
telling me I don’t even know what you look like?  Is Savannah even your real
name?  What else have you been keeping secret?”

I’m
not any different just because you found out something you didn’t know about
me.

“I
didn’t know how to tell you,” I said, even as Benn made the same, spooked face
as before.  Was I telepathing to him?  Humans weren’t supposed to be able to
receive telepaths.

But,
then again, what did I know?  Only what the Demonology books told me.  And that
could be filled with lies for all I knew.  I wasn’t supposed to be able to
telepath either.

He
didn’t say anything about it though, so I figured I misread him.

“You
know what?” Benn said, punching his arms into his coat sleeves and zipping up
roughly.  “I’m outta here.”

He
stormed out.  With eyes that wouldn’t meet mine and his mouth set in a
stubborn, angry frown.  I didn’t know if he’d be safe, but I couldn’t do
anything to stop him either.

Maybe
Rowan would actually look out for him like I asked.  Maybe I should have gone
after him.

“Let
him go,” Dad ordered, locking the door again, deciding things for me.  “Tell me
about your mother.”

Mechanically,
I told him everything I’d learned.  Division and Faction and Grayson and the
two Hammers.  Iliana’s new leadership and the possible, but unconfirmed threat
on my life.  I glossed over the threat on Dad and Benn’s lives.  No need to
worry him if there wasn’t any real danger.

Vaguely,
I saw the information hit him, affect him, but my mind was elsewhere.

I
never felt more alone than I did staring out the front door window.  Luckily,
there were no tears.  There was no anger.  That would require emotions I never
fully developed.

Did
I ever stand a chance in this world?  Did any half-caste?  Maybe living Up
Above was worse than the Underrealm.  How would anyone know?  Half-castes who
chose the ‘realm never returned.  Maybe it was because they finally found where
they belonged after being outcast their whole lives.

But
I would never know.  I made my choice years ago.  I chose Dad.  I chose Benn. 
I chose my bookstore and my limited, borderline reclusive existence.  And I
would be dedicated to it.  It was all I knew.

But…if
Benn never came back…

“This
is a lot to process,” Dad groaned, and I wanted to pat his arm, comfort him in
the human way.  With touch, and words.  But I didn’t know how.