Authors: Lisa T. Bergren
“You would leave me. Leave us,” he said flatly. “With no knowledge that you could return for certain.”
“To save my
family?
Yes,” I said.
“A
family
. Of which I am clearly not part,” he said.
“No! I didn’t intend...Luca, you know what I intended by saying that.”
“Do I?” His face was a mask of hurt. He looked down at the ground, digging the toe of his boot into a dry clump of grass, thinking. After a moment, he leveled a gaze at me. “You’re right,” he said, slowly nodding, and my stomach dropped. “I understand your intentions now, all too clearly. I have been a fool, chasing after you. Losing my heart to you. When you never could be mine forever. I’ll leave you in peace now.”
“No, Luca,” I said, my heart breaking as he turned to walk down the hill, feeling the tearing between us. “Luca,” I groaned, a ball forming in my throat.
But he did not turn.
“Luca!”
He left me there, on our picnic hill.
I sat down, alone on the blanket, his form growing smaller in the distance.
And then I gave into the ache inside and wept.
~EVANGELIA~
Many things fueled my tears.
Frustration that he couldn’t understand, wouldn’t understand.
Indignation that he’d said he’d wait forever, but clearly hadn’t meant it.
Anger that Gabi had pretty much railroaded us all into this crazy medieval life forever.
Irritation that I seemed to get a grip on my fear about the future one week, but then fell right back into it the next.
Fear for Gabi’s unborn child alongside one of my own…and the idea of placing them in two little coffins.
Yeah, pretty macabre, I know. But the plague? C’mon, not many American teens had to tackle that big of a threat. I mean, we’d had the swine flu scare, but even that had turned out to be nothing. But the
Black Plague
? This girl
knew
exactly how bad it was going to get.
And that reminder made me cry again, thinking about all the people I already loved in the castello, and how half of them might die. Having to bury Fortino had pretty much wrecked us. Same with all the knights who had died in battle after battle, and some of the villagers who had not survived their injuries or illness, no matter how hard my mom tried to save them. We wept over them too.
Then there’d been that time that Luca had contracted what Mom thought had been a minor strain of plague that swept through Italia before, scaring us that it had come early. I remembered seeing him down, weak with fever, with those terrible buboes all over his body…I shivered and wiped my face and hugged myself, rocking slightly.
No, once was enough.
I couldn’t share my heart and future with anyone else, besides all the people I loved already. Not fully. I was already exposed on too many fronts. Weak, and practically begging the universe to hand me a nice, fat, agonizing pain sandwich. And that thought made me cry again.
“Evangelia?” asked a tentative voice from a short distance away. “Are you in need of assistance?”
I looked up and saw Adela Forelli and Tomas on horseback. They’d taken to a daily ride as much as Luca and I had our picnics, and it was clear to anyone that they were practically inseparable. Their love, and their shared look of worry, made my throat clog with new tears.
“Nay, I am well,” I managed, swallowing hard against the ball in my throat. As much as Luca loved his sister, Adela and I had never become close. Tomas—I might’ve confided in. Adela? Not so much.
Tomas looked around, confusion and concern in every line of his round face. “Where is Captain Forelli?”
“Captain Forelli?” I repeated, stalling for a time, well aware that Luca’s sister was difficult to fool. “He’s back at the castello. I-I wanted…I decided to take a bit of time for myself.”
“Luca knows you are here. By yourself. But he chooses to be in the castello?” Adela repeated, clearly not believing me. “My brother wouldn’t give you the
chance
to be by yourself if he could be beside you.” She cast me a wry grin.
“Yes, well…we had a bit of a falling out.” I said the last part in a rush, as if in confession.
“Ah,” Tomas said, lifting his chin, his wise eyes examining my tear-stained cheeks. He looked at Adela again and, with little more than a nod, Tomas slid from his saddle and went over to lift her down.
I barely managed to stifle my groan. The last thing I wanted was company, well meaning as they might be. And especially these two. The dynamic God-duo, an ex-monk and an ex-almost-nun. I could practically hear the sermon already. But there was no stopping them. They sat on either side of me, hugging their legs. At least Tomas had ditched the robe that he’d once worn. Their clothing was simple, but more normal. Tomas’s hair was even growing in a bit where he’d once shaved it, an awkward inch-long fuzz that usually made Gabi and me giggle.
“What has you two quarreling?” Adela asked gently.
I felt the tension gather between my shoulders, torn between sharing everything and telling them to mind their own business.
When I didn’t give an answer, Tomas said, “Would it not ease your heart to speak of it, m’lady?” He reached over to pick a long stalk of drying grass and began to splinter off the seed head, bit by bit, letting the wind carry it away.
“Nay, I think not,” I said, standing abruptly. “Please, my friends. We packed a picnic that we’re clearly not going to eat. The greatest thing you might do for me is to sit here and enjoy this pretty afternoon and eat our boar and bread. They’re quite delicious.”
“Evangelia, are you certain—” Adela began.
“Yes, yes, I’m certain,” I said hurriedly. I felt badly, cutting them off when they were only trying to help, but I knew that anything I said within Adela’s hearing would be repeated to Luca. And Luca and I had shared enough words today, directly or indirectly.
I liked Adela well enough. We got along. But I seemed to stir an odd sense of competition with her. Maybe it was because she’d been gone from Luca’s life for so long—off at the nunnery until she realized it wasn’t her calling—and had only just returned to find me invading her territory. Maybe she thought it was going to be like it had been ten years ago when she left for the convent. Luca had been only a boy then, little older than the young squires who followed my dad around like puppies. He was undoubtedly adorable then, along with Marcello and the rest of the brotherhood, who spent their days creating mock battles in the forest and building forts and finding hot springs to skinny-dip in. It made me smile wistfully, longing for Luca to regale me again with tales of their boisterous boyhood.
I glanced back and saw the chubby Tomas gleefully diving into our picnic basket as if they’d just discovered treasure and Adela smiling and shaking her head at him before looking back at me. Seeing me all too clearly, I thought. As the girl who might make her brother happy…or destroy him.
Only one person could help me sort this out. Gabi. But she’d already made her decision, and I wasn’t going to bring it up again. I’d agreed to stay here, with her. With Mom and Dad. But I’d never said I’d risk it all. I never said I’d risk my heart. Or babies.
And the thought of watching Luca die…or our child…
Well, the thought of that made my heart break into a thousand little pieces.
~GABRIELLA~
I hauled the bucket over the edge of the well and paused, gasping. My hand went to my belly, and I looked around furtively. Had anyone seen me pause?
Thankfully, it appeared not. Everyone was busy with preparation for the upcoming harvest feast in the castello, and they were scurrying to accomplish three-times their normal duties…that was why I was fetching my own water for my room. The last thing I was going to do was play the whole Lady-of-the-Castello Card just because I was preggers. I was still trying to get a grip on the idea of it myself, frankly, even though my belly was as round as half a Tuscan melon now. I was just glad I’d stopped feeling the need to vomit my guts out every hour. That first trimester was enough to make a girl swear off sex forever.
But then I caught sight of my husband. And just seeing him stride toward me, every inch of him the most handsome Italian knight I’d ever met, and realizing anew that he was mine, my husband,
forever
…and, well, I knew we’d likely end up with a ton of kids eventually. The guy was just so irresistible. The way he was scowling at me, silently chastising me for drawing a heavy bucket, all love and concern—
“Gabriella,” he growled, wrapping one arm around my waist and taking hold of the bucket handle. “What are you doing? You well know your mother said to lift nothing over a stone’s weight.”
“Everyone’s so busy,” I said, squirming away, aware that we were already drawing every eye in the courtyard. “The least I could do was fetch my own bath water.”
“I shall bring it,” he said, lifting the bucket and then picking up the second, which was waiting on the ground. “If you need something during this season of the feast, tell me, and I shall see it done.”
As if he wasn’t busy enough, I thought, meekly following him. As much as I gave him a tender smile for his thoughtfulness, I hated this new sensation of weakness, helplessness. It brought back memories of being wounded. I much preferred feeling strong, wielding a sword. The whole Little-Woman-with-Child scenario? Yeah, that didn’t set well with me.
“Lord Forelli!” Luca called, just as we were entering the turret door that led to our quarters. We paused and waited as he jogged up to us. His green eyes slid from Marcello then back to me. “Lord and Lady Greco have returned from their travels. They sent us an invitation to join them for supper this night.”
Marcello glanced at me. Both men were well aware that I preferred to steer clear of our enemy’s old castle, Castello Paratore, even if it was now Castello Greco. The walls just held too many bad memories. But I steeled myself.
“We shall go,” I said, lightly, trying to take the bucket from Marcello. But he didn’t release it until I met his gaze and gave him an assuring smile.
“We shall go,” Marcello repeated to Luca.
The captain of his guard, his cousin, nodded once.
“You and Evangelia are to attend as well?”
Luca paused. “We are all invited. But I shall stay here and see to the safety of the keep while you’re away, and send others to guard you.”
Marcello quirked an eyebrow. “You’d allow Evangelia to go without you?”
Luca took a breath. “’Tis best if the lady and I are not in the same room.”
I frowned in confusion, and we both turned to fully face him, but he held up his hands. “Nay, nay. I do not wish to discuss it. Some things are only between the two of us, much as we like to share everything else in this castello.”
I pursed my lips. I’d get it out of Lia later. Whatever silly tiff this was, they could just get over it.
“She’ll come. And you must too, Luca. Rodolfo and Alessandra need our support. Our blessing. Let us go and help them celebrate a new beginning for the old castello.”
He lifted his hands and cocked his head, a hint of that familiar grin on his lips. But trouble lurked around his eyes. “You know I am always eager to partake in good company, especially when ample wine and food are before us. See if your sister can tolerate the idea. Perhaps if we are seated at opposite ends of the table…”
“It cannot be as bad as all that,” Marcello said. “I want you with us. No further discussion.”
“Yes, m’lord,” he said faintly. His tone let me know it was much more serious than I had thought. What in the world had happened? “I’ll have the squires saddle horses for us,” he said, “and form a guard as the sun sets.”
“Thank you, Luca,” I said, reaching out and squeezing his arm. “Might you send a squire with word to my father, over in the warehouse? And to my mother at the tombs?”
“Consider it done, m’lady,” he said with a quick bow. Then he turned on his heel and left us.
Mom left each morn for the Etruscan tombs with six men in tow to help her dig. They’d unearthed six of the twelve dome-like structures. Luca liked it because it put some of his bored knights to good physical work each day, even if they thought the project odd and shared superstitious glances. He’d loved putting them to work on the new wing of the castello—the barracks for the knights, the warehouse, the latrine. But as it came close to completion, more specialized work was needed than brute strength, so fewer knights were used—leaving some to go with Mom.
I checked Lia’s room, the den, and Mom’s new solarium, but she wasn’t to be found. Weary and worried, I returned to our quarters. We’d changed up the rooms since our wedding, adding a library between what was once Marcello’s father’s cavernous room and the more intimate bedroom that was once his mother’s. Here, we had a massive table surrounded by bookshelves, and on one wall, a lovely map that my parents had found in Rome and made a wedding gift to us. We were delighted to do our part to preserve such a historical treasure. We four Betarrinis were a tad obsessed with its missing seas and undiscovered landmasses. Undiscovered as of yet, here in Medievalville.
Once in a while we were able to forget we’d traveled back in time nearly seven hundred years. The globe, and things like the lack of a real bathroom—man, I missed that—were constant reminders. But the pangs of loss were diminishing the longer we stayed. In many ways it seemed like we were always supposed to be here.
Marcello was already in his chair at the end of the table, going through a stack of papers, dipping his quill in ink and signing while Leo, the skinny new steward, stood over his shoulder, quietly introducing one matter and then another. Mostly their business had to do with the harvest and quantities Marcello wished to store or sell, but when I entered, they were talking about a nearby vineyard that had been stripped of all its remaining grapes during the early morning hours as the vintner slept.
“Inform Sir Luca,” Marcello said. “We will not tolerate such thievery. Tell him that I wish for patrols to be assigned through the night, if necessary. It will be good to give the men something to do anyway.”