Demon 04 - Deja Demon (37 page)

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Authors: Julie Kenner

BOOK: Demon 04 - Deja Demon
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“I should kill you,” David said, his voice low and dangerous. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”
“David,” I said, a warning in my voice
“I am not like you. My heart, it is pure.”
David shoved him away, disgusted by either Dukkar or his words. “What is it?” he shouted. He pointed at the demon carcass. “Didn’t I kill that thing before it could kill you?
Didn’t I
?”
Dukkar stared into the face of David’s rage, stubbornly silent.
“What the hell is it that you think you know about me?”
But Dukkar wasn’t telling. Instead he looked from me to David and then back to me again. Then he turned on his heel and raced from the tent. David moved to follow, but I grabbed him back.
“No,” I said. “Let him go.” Right then, I truly didn’t trust David not to kill him.
“Bastard,” David spat, even as Allie climbed to her feet and ran forward, catching both of us in her arms.
“What the hell do the two of you think you were doing?” I asked. “Do you have any idea how scared I was?”
“We figured out where Shelton would be,” Allie said, her voice small.
“Did you?” I asked, my voice cutting close to sarcastic. “Come on.” I started heading toward the rental, the two of them following close behind.
“We didn’t get here in time to save the lady,” Allie said. “But Daddy took out the demon. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“It counts for a lot,” I said. “Too bad all those bonus points get erased by the fact that you weren’t supposed to be out here in the first place.”
I closed my mouth, grinding my teeth together. “You know what? Just get in the car.” Allie’s issue was sneaking out. David’s was much larger, at least from my perspective. Best not to combine the two.
“But—”
“In.”
She hung her head and climbed inside without further argument. I doubted I’d have as easy a time of it with David.
“I didn’t—” he began, but once again, I cut him off.
“You know what? I don’t even want to hear it.” I shook my head, anger heating to the boiling point. “I trusted you,” I said, my voice low and dangerous. “I trusted you because I always have. Because I know you. Because I know you would never—
ever
—put our daughter in danger. At least that’s what I thought. I guess I was wrong.” I drew in a breath and looked him in the eye. “So don’t ask me again, okay? Don’t ask me if I trust you. Because the answer has changed. From now on, the answer is no.”
He closed his eyes, flinching as if I’d slapped him. I guess in a way I had.
I turned and headed for the driver’s side of the car.
“Kate, please . . .”
But I kept on walking, not turning around. I couldn’t. Stop now and I’d either cry or kick, and neither option was a good one. Better I get some distance. For that matter, I wondered if love had been clouding my judgment all along.
He is Eric Crowe
, the old woman had said
. And the blackness clings to him like night
.
Was that what I was seeing? The blackness of which the old woman spoke?
I thought of Dukkar’s face, so horribly pummeled, not to mention the other little hints of temper I’d seen. And, of course, the lying. Taking risks with Allie’s life.
Did it all add up to something dark? Something dangerous?
Even more, I realized, this wasn’t the first time he’d encouraged Allie to keep secrets from me. I should have seen it before, but now it made sense. Her exhaustion Monday morning. Allie and Eric’s covert whispers at the carnival on Sunday. Not to mention Allie’s knowledge about the demise of my scuzzy demon attacker.
They’d gone out patrolling that night, keeping their actions a secret from me.
Was he damaged? And if so, was I the one who’d damaged him?
I slid into the van and clenched the steering wheel tight with both hands. Beside me, Allie sat buckled in, her body scooted as far away from me as possible. Smart kid.
“The demon wasn’t working for Abaddon,” she said, breaking the silence as I pulled back onto the highway.
That
caught my attention. “What are you talking about?”
“Daddy said something when they were fighting about how when he got back to the ether he should tell Abaddon nice try, but better luck next time.”
I stifled a smile. That was a very Eric thing to say. “And?”
“The demon sneered, all hoity-toity-like. And then he said that he was not subservient to Abaddon. At least not until he became The One. What do you think it means?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But it definitely sounds like Abaddon’s trying for another invincibility gig. Maybe this demon’s going to be loyal only when he has to be.”
“Maybe,” Allie said dubiously.
“I do know one thing for certain, though.”
“You do?”
“You’re grounded,” I said. “This time for real.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I figured that one out all on my own.”
Wednesday morning,
I dropped Timmy at Fran’s for a play date with Elena, but instead of heading home, my car steered itself automatically toward Laura’s.
I shifted into park in front of her house, debating. It was early, but I knew she wouldn’t mind. Laura wasn’t simply an early riser, she was an early baker, and odds were good that my arrival would be greeted with a smile and a gigantic blueberry muffin. Frankly, I could use both.
Decided, I got out and marched to the front door. Still locked, and although I had a key, I rang the doorbell. She’d had a date last night, after all. Probably best not to barge in.
“Hey,” she said, pulling the door open and frowning at me. “Why didn’t you let yourself in?”
“Date night,” I said, leaning around her to seek out signs of male life. “Wishful thinking?”
“I don’t know about him,” she said, “but
I’m
wishing.” She cocked her head toward the kitchen. “Come on in. I’m making muffins.”
My mood ratcheted up a notch toward sunny. “Blue-berry? ”
She scrunched up her face. “Lemon poppyseed,” she said. “Sorry! If I’d known you were coming . . .”
“It’s okay,” I said, helping myself to a cup of coffee and mourning the loss of my blueberry fix. “You’re not my personal baker.”
“No, but—” She stopped. “Kate, what is it? What happened? This isn’t about lemon poppyseed muffins.”
I sniffed, then realized that my cheeks were wet. “Sorry,” I said. “I’m a little overwhelmed these days.”
She pulled off the oven mitts and crossed her arms over her chest, looking at me. “I guess you would be,” she said gently. “Want to talk about it?”
“Yeah,” I said, realizing that was why my car had driven itself over here. “I guess I do.”
I sat down at the table, absently eating a lemon poppyseed muffin—a testament to how upset I was—and told her about Allie’s sneaking out. “To go patrolling with David.” I pressed my lips together, as if that could hold back the ill words I wanted to spew about the man I’d loved for so many years. But I was on a roll, and though I might regret them later, I couldn’t hold back. I drew in a breath and gave voice to what I’d so far only thought about. “What if the gypsy woman was right? What if Eric’s soul really is black? He flat-out lied to me. Or, at least, he lied by omission.” And my real worry— the one that truly terrified. “What if because of him, Allie gets hurt? Or killed?”
“Oh, Kate. I’m so sorry. But I don’t think—” She cut herself off, standing up to go busy herself with loading the dishwasher. An obvious ploy to avoid looking directly at me.
“What?” I pressed. “You don’t think what?”
“Well,
why
would Eric’s soul be mucked up? The jumping-into-David thing, right?” she asked, and because I hadn’t told her about using the Lazarus Bones, I didn’t correct her.
“But we’ve been around him for a while now, and he seems perfectly normal,” she continued. “He’s helped you hunt demons, he’s been a gentleman more or less about the fact that you’re sleeping with another man. He even told Nadia to take a hike,” she added, referring to an extremely hot, extremely aggressive Hunter who’d had designs on Eric recently. “All he wants is you. And if that means his soul is black, then you have some problems with Stuart, too.”
I couldn’t help but smile, even if I didn’t fully agree. Laura, after all, didn’t have all the facts. “Maybe,” I said.
“And Allie’s almost fifteen, Kate,” Laura said gently. “Part of me thinks you’re looking for the easy excuse.”
I tilted my head, brow furrowed in question. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s a teenager. More than that, she’s a teenager who’s just had some major life upheaval. Couple that with raging hormones and it’s really not a pretty picture. Trust me. I know of what I speak.”
I looked at her, the hint of sadness under the strong lines of her face. She wasn’t at odds with Mindy, not really. But they’d lost serious ground over the last few months. I didn’t want that to happen to me and Allie, and yet I couldn’t help but fear that the train was already pulling out of the station with Eric as engineer stoking the engine.
I brushed away a tear. “Speaking of hormonal,” I said with a wry smile. “I . . . I guess I feel like I’ve changed everyone in my life who’s close to me. Allie. You. David.”
“How have you changed David?”
“Oh.” I hesitated. “
Change
probably isn’t the right word. I only meant that he’s no longer my husband, even though in his memory he is.”
“Fair enough,” she said, and she nodded so earnestly that I felt guilty for the lie.
“Laura, I—” I closed my mouth, wanting to pull the words back in.
“What?” She peered at my face. “Kate, you’re scaring me.”
I drew in a shuddering breath, then lifted my face to meet her eyes. “He died, Laura,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “He died at the cemetery that night. And I—I brought him back.”
“Oh.” She dropped into the seat next to me, her hands clasping her coffee mug so tight I thought it might break. “But—
how
?”
“The Lazarus Bones.”
Her eyes widened with understanding, and as they did, I poured out the story along with my fears and frustrations. “And now I don’t know. What if I did something to him? To me? What if I really did change him? What if I damaged him?”
“Oh, Kate, I wish you’d told me. I mean, it’s not like I could have done anything, but—”
“I know.” I exhaled, actually feeling a little better for having told her. “I wish I’d told you, too.”
“So you think the gypsy lady is right?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“You need to talk to someone other than me, you know. If you’re worried about David’s soul—if you’re worried about your own—you need to talk to a priest.”
I nodded, then took a long sip of coffee, knowing she was right. There was only one way I could truly find peace. As the saying goes, confession is good for the soul.
"I’m glad you’re back,”
I said, sitting across from Father Ben in his office. “I was afraid you wouldn’t be.” I was playing with the hem of my T-shirt, taking a loose thread and wrapping it around my thumb until the end turned purple.
“Careful, Kate. People will think you have something on your mind.”
“Huh?”
He nodded at my lap, where I held my tortured thumb.
“Oh. Right.” I unraveled the thread, feeling a bit like a schoolgirl sent to the principal’s office. A ridiculous feeling, especially considering I’d come here of my own free will.
“I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to look for—”
“That’s not why I’m here,” I said hurriedly. “Not
Forza
business, I mean.” I frowned. “Well, not really.” I drew in a breath. “I need to talk about something, Father. Something personal.”
I saw the subtle shift in his face, as Father Ben moved from the role of mentor to priest. “Would you feel more comfortable moving to a confessional?”
I shook my head. “No. But this is eating at me, and I need . . . well, I guess I need a priest.”
“You came to the right place,” he said with an encouraging smile.
I drew in a breath, said a silent prayer, and confessed what I’d done. “I played God,” I concluded. “I had a tiny bit of dust from the Lazarus Bones, and I wasn’t strong enough to resist. I should have—I know that—but I didn’t.” I licked my lips, ashamed. “I couldn’t.”
“Oh, Kate. What woman couldn’t? He was the man you loved, only recently returned to you. Your actions reflect nothing more than your nature.”
“What’s that? Vile and untrustworthy?”
“Hardly,” he said. “Try human.”
I managed a halfhearted nod, fearing he was only trying to placate me. “I think I did something horrible, though. More than playing God, I mean. I think the results—” I cut myself off, hating to give voice to my fears, but knowing I had to. “I think I did something to David. Something bad.”

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