Demon Master (Demonsense series Book 2) (49 page)

“Well, you feel really collected and stable,” Bree confirmed as she stood up as well. “And I can definitely feel the structure, like I said. You feel like you, if you know what I mean, like you before, except more settled, maybe even happier. You were kind of depressed before.”

He shrugged. “Maybe it’s a side effect of all the meditation, but I do feel better.
 
On the other hand, I have to admit my emotions feel a little, I don’t know, a little muted.”
 
The look he gave her clearly communicated that he was feeling muted in his feelings about her. It fit with what little Bree had been able to read in his tells, and with that sense she’d had on the deep read of his energy not flowing normally in some way.
 

“I have to tell you, Bree, that all this time in meditation has made something clear to me,” he went on. His look was earnest but still somehow removed. “I’ve had to admit to myself that I’ve got to give up on the idea of us being together.”

An emotional shock washed through her at his words in a hot wave of hurt mixed with shame, the shame of rejection. She could feel her reaction registering on her heated face. For a moment, a flicker of uncertainty came and went across Daniel’s features, but he went on resolutely. “I’ve got serious issues even apart from this divided thing. I made a decision some time ago to avoid relationships with powered women, and I think I was right to do so. I have to either hide much of who I really am, which obviously prevents any real closeness, or I have to admit I’m a Demon Master and Binder, which will make it impossible for the woman to trust me, as it has with you.”

Again, Bree felt flooded with shame. He was right that she seemed unable to completely trust him. She knew that on some level, it was justified due to his unpredictability, but on another level, she recognized it for a failing, a kind of self-defense against her attraction to him. She was, at her core, terrified to love and lose again. She felt laid bare by his words. And she had the urge to fight against them.

“Daniel, there hasn’t been time for us to work through all this,” she replied, passion seeping into her words in spite of her efforts to sound calm and reasonable. “I know I’ve had trouble fully trusting you, but maybe this new technique of yours will keep you from getting so demon burned. Maybe it’s a fix for the division inside you that’s causing all the instability. If it works…”

Daniel shook his head as she spoke, and interrupted her firmly. “I don’t think my fixing the division is going to be enough. I think you basically are never going to be able to feel safe with me given the talents I have. And I have to accept that. I have to move on, have to focus on the bigger picture. Call me crazy, but I’ve felt for a long time that I have a chance to solve the puzzle of demon kind. In spite of all the troubles with getting demon burned, I’ve gotten further faster with your help than I ever have before. I still want to work with you, Bree, but in order to do that, in order for me to be effective at that, I have to let go of the idea of a relationship with you. It’s not going to work. It was never going to work.”

Bree tried desperately to think of a way to change his mind. She was blindingly aware how unfair this was of her. Still she sputtered out the only argument that came to her, knowing as the words left her lips that they wouldn’t move him. “What if this new structure is restricting your emotions? What if that’s why you’re saying all this?”

Daniel sighed. “If that’s the case, it’s just helping me to do what was right all along. I wish we had more time to discuss it, but we don’t. We can talk about this more later if you need to, but I’m right in this.”

 
Bree fought off the tears that started to well up in her eyes. “Yeah, we have to get moving. For the record, I think it’s definitely worth your trying to do some Healing on Kevin.”

“I trust your judgment on that. And I’m relieved that your read seems to back up what I’ve been feeling,” Daniel replied, back to that calm, even tone. They both put on their coats.
 

“I’ll drive in case you get drained by the Healing work,” Bree told him as he locked up his house. He gave her a searching look as they headed out to her car. “You look pretty drained yourself. I’m sure the deep read didn’t help.”

“I was able to eat some last night, and that helped. But I am starving. I’ll get something at the hospital cafeteria after we see what’s up with Kevin.”
 

As they drove to the hospital, the awkwardness in the air between them was palpable. Bree did her best to try to put the emotions raised by their talk behind her. It wasn’t easy. She was already feeling vulnerable from the night’s events. She realized she desperately needed some sense of normalcy to be reestablished, so she filled him in on what had happened at the latest riot. She briefly considered, then abandoned, the impulse to avoid telling him about Franchesca. Either she was willing to trust her read of his new method of staying stable, or she wasn’t. She couldn’t go around constantly second guessing what would or wouldn’t set him off.
 

Bree could feel the shift of energy in the air as soon as she mentioned Franchesca, but on putting a quick Reader tendril out toward him, she didn’t find any major disturbance, and she allowed herself a small sigh of tired relief. He asked a few clarifying questions, but mostly just listened. By the time they reached Harborview, the awkwardness was less. She parked her car in the hospital parking garage, and they strode as quickly as possible through the hospital towards the ICU. They saw Bruce in the waiting area, and, as they got closer, saw Sophie laid out on a row of chairs, apparently sound asleep. “Steve and Dion are in with Kevin now,” Bruce told them as they approached.
 

“Is Sophie okay?” Bree asked.

“She got your message and came right over after the birth. She was a little tapped, but figured she might as well see what she could do. I’m afraid she pushed it a little too far and passed out. She came to once already and assured me she’d be fine with some rest and food.” Bruce was standing back from hugging Daniel, one large hand still on Daniel’s shoulder. “And you, my man, how are you?”

“Figuring it out, Bruce, figuring it out.”

Bruce slapped Daniel hard enough to rock him a little. “I knew you could do it.”
 

“How long has Dion been in there?”

“Oh, maybe five minutes. We’re only allowed to go in two by two. Kevin has been in his room maybe fifteen or twenty minutes. I’ve got to warn you both, he doesn’t look good. You should be prepared.”
 

Before either Bree or Daniel could reply, Steve and one of the nurses came into the waiting area supporting Dion between them. His eyes were half closed, and he was barely able to keep to his feet.
 

The nurse, a well padded, motherly looking woman with short, dark blonde hair was red faced with effort. “I have to say, you lot are sensitive. He’s the second one to go down in ten minutes,” she huffed. “You would have thought a paramedic would have a stronger stomach than that.” She assisted Steve in dumping Dion down into a waiting room chair, where he immediately closed his eyes and went boneless. The nurse fixed Bree and Daniel with a gimlet eye. “Either of you fainters?” she asked briskly.

“No ma’am,” Daniel said earnestly, and Bree murmured, “Not that I know of,” right behind him.

“Well, give us a break. If you get dizzy at all, sit down immediately and put your head between your knees. It can be a shock for friends and family seeing a loved one with tubes coming out of them,” she concluded more gently, then marched off to her duties.

“So that was a little embarrassing,” Steve muttered. He folded down next to Dion, and glanced at first him, then Sophie, fondly. “They were wonderful,” he said. “They gave it every thing they had, and they both showed up already exhausted.” He straightened his tired body abruptly. “They’ll need food, won’t they? Kevin always needs food after a working. I’ll run down to the cafeteria and get something.” He sprang to his feet and hurried off.
 

Bruce sighed heavily and shook his head. “He’s been like that since I got here, more and more wound up. He’s going to crash any minute.”
 

“He just needs to feel like there’s something he can do,” Bree said softly. “He must feel so helpless.”

“I know, babe, I know. I’ll look after him, and these two.”
 

“Come with me?” Daniel asked Bree with a pleading, half embarrassed look. She realized that now he was here, it was all coming home to him. He was anxious about seeing Kevin, as was she. She straightened her spine and reminded herself she’d seen Kevin shot, and hadn’t fallen apart then. She wouldn’t fall apart now.
 

“Room 322, down the hall and to your right,” Bruce prompted. They headed off, Daniel in the lead. The nurse eyed them sternly from her desk as they went by.
 

They walked into the room together. It was as they’d been warned. Kevin looked awful. His skin tone was close to grey, there was a ventilator tube down his throat, and his chest was rising and falling with the hissing sound of the machinery. His face looked vulnerable without his glasses, and he looked older as well. Lines on his face Bree usually didn’t notice were visible. All this somehow added up to him looking extraordinarily ill.
 

She hated to think what he must have looked like before Sophie and Dion pumped some healing energy into him. The thought terrified her. As much as she feared him dying, until this moment, she hadn’t allowed herself to imagine it could really happen. She tore her gaze away from Kevin and looked at Daniel. As much as she loved Kevin, she was sure Daniel loved him more. His face showed the strain of his attempt to keep calm.
 

She reached out and clasped his hand with hers. His return grip was tight almost to the point of pain, but Bree didn’t complain or pull away. If this was all she could do to support him, this was what she’d do. And a tiny, guilty part of her was relieved to see some emotion in Daniel, any emotion.
 

After a moment, he let go of her hand. He pulled up a chair close to the bedside so he could easily hold Kevin’s hand. He looked up at Bree gravely. “I’d like you to keep at least a mid level read on me while I do the healing. I should be fine, but my concern is that if I drain my energies too far, I might in some way lose control of the restraining structure I’ve put in place. I don’t want to get down lower than about thirty percent of normal. When I get that far, I want you to stop me if I haven’t already stopped myself. And Bree, no matter how anxious you get, no matter how much you think he might be able to help, please don’t call Gelsenim, not unless I blow apart again. I haven’t tested the restraints with demon contact yet.”
 

“No worries, it hadn’t occurred to me to ask for his help,” Bree told him truthfully. She just didn’t associate demon kind with healing ability. Maybe Gelsenim could boost a Healer’s power if he possessed the Healer, but obviously, in this case, she wasn’t going to suggest it.

Daniel nodded at her in acknowledgement, and turned back to Kevin and closed his eyes, preparing to do the Healing. Bree moved behind Daniel and worked her hand under his shirt and sweater to make physical contact with his shoulder. His skin was warm. She reached out to lightly attune with him, enough to monitor energy levels. In spite of her exhaustion, her Reader sense came to her command, although it was creaky and slow.
 

At first, Daniel seemed merely at rest, probably gathering himself for the working, maybe running through whatever meditation helped him renew his structure of restraints. After about three or four minutes of that, she began to feel a sort of warmth rising in him. It wasn’t physical warmth, more an energetic warmth. She felt it flowing up from somewhere inside him like sap rising in a tree. She perceived it as a golden-green color, like a combination of sunlight and the green of growing things. She’d gotten a taste of it before, when he’d done Healing on her, but this seemed stronger, much stronger.
 
The energy welled up until it started to flow out of him, into Kevin. It seemed to move at a steady pace, and she spared a moment to admire Daniel’s control. The only talents where she had that level of skill were her Reader and Exorcist talents. If only she could control her Casting to that degree. She was enjoying the warm sensation of the healing until a thread of anxiety entered noticeably into Daniel’s energy. Lips compressed in effort, Bree honed in the sensation. Daniel was worried about how the healing was going.
 

She had to fight back her own spike of fear in response. Daniel might be able to sense it from her, given the level at which they were attuned, and she didn’t want to interfere with his concentration. It took more effort than it should have for her to get herself back into control. She made a mental note to eat as soon as this was over, as her remaining reserves were draining right along with Daniel’s. She carefully evaluated his base and will energy and decided he was close to the thirty percent mark. She gave him another few minutes, then shook his shoulder. “Daniel,” she said quietly, “it’s time to stop.”
 

“I’m almost there,” her replied with obvious effort. “Just a few more minutes.”
 

Bree clenched her teeth in worried frustration, but she did as he told her. She felt his energy go down further, down to about twenty five percent, then lower still. She shook him harder. “Daniel, that’s enough.”
 

He didn’t answer, and she opened her eyes and moved around to where she could see his face. She reached out a hand and lightly slapped him on the cheek. “C’mon, Daniel, stop.”
 

He was sweating, brow furrowed in effort, but still his eyes stayed closed. She reached down and tried to pull his hand away from Kevin’s, but he wouldn’t let go.
 
“Okay, here goes,” she muttered, and she slapped him again, hard this time.
 

His eyes flew open, then rolled back as he started to topple out of the chair. “Oh shit!” Bree exclaimed as she reached out to catch him. She settled him back into the chair, but he started to slide down out of it, clearly in a dead faint. Bree pressed her knees against his to keep him in the chair, putting her hands against his shoulders.
 
“Daniel,” she said tensely, “wake up!”