Demonic Designs (To Absolve the Fallen) (13 page)

“The ways in which we were accepted in different societies were amazing.
 
Europeans were very skeptical of us—as ironic as that would later seem.
 
Asia, on the other hand, welcomed us with open arms.
 
The Middle East, Jesus’s homeland, was ambivalent.
 
They have always been conservative with their beliefs, but you can always expect one of the quarreling groups to support you.
 
It’s just a matter of finding out who.

“I loved that boy.
 
I nurtured his evolving spirit.
 
I fought in many encounters to save his body, mind, and soul from demonic influence.
 
I watched him grow into a wonderful specimen of a man and prophet.
 
He was God’s son, but I felt a paternal connection to him, as well.
 
It tortured me when I was told that it was time to leave.
 
Jesus had turned thirty, and, after several shaky nights and detached days, he revealed to me that he was to return to Israel.
 
Immediately afterward, God told me that I would not be joining him.
 
I was to return home and watch from a distance.
 
I didn’t rebel; I didn’t debate; and I didn’t question.
 
I simply abandoned my pseudo-body and went back to Heaven.

“Jesus’s method was simple: He returned, took his place among the masses—as a carpenter, no less—and he began his grassroots ministry.
 
He butted heads with the high priests on a weekly basis, starting out.
 
Later, he’d have a run-in with them daily.
 
In a matter of years, all of Israel had heard of Jesus and his powers.
 
He gained a following, and eventually, he went out into the desert, alone, to face Lucifer.
 
This seemed, at the time, to be his crowning achievement.

“I was proud as I watched him evade Lucifer’s tactics.
 
The Morning Star wanted to defeat my protégé so much that he offered him any kingdom currently in existence.
 
In retort, Jesus commanded Satan to leave.
 
Having met his match, Lucifer sulked away.
 
The angels didn’t quite know what to make of that.
 
It wasn’t supposed to happen.
 
Lucifer defied even angels.
 
It was beyond comprehension that a human could force our foe to retreat with a mere command.
 
After that, all eyes in Heaven were watching this young man and his ragtag following.

“Upon his return to Jerusalem, he had to engage in battles of wits for a long time, until the high priests decided that they could no longer fight him.
 
They probably sensed that they were outclassed.
 
For a little while, they tried to ignore him.
 
I often wonder whether or not God turned his back on them after they refused to accept the message He had given them.
 

“It wasn’t long before it was evident that ignoring Jesus wouldn’t be enough.
 
They demanded that Jesus be held accountable for his actions.
 
They claimed that he had committed heresy on an unprecedented level, and he would have to die for it.
 
It was insane; they insisted that he die for sins he had never committed, even though he had cleansed people of diseases, demons, and ignorance.
 
He did what they couldn’t do, yet they still wanted him dead.
 
He showed love and compassion for all of God’s creations—even those who hated him.

“I was prepared to go to Earth and put an end to this little quibble, but the other angels wouldn’t let me go.
 
In fact, I was completely restrained.
 
They knew I would have gladly fallen to protect Jesus.
 
So they left me with no alternative.
 
I was to watch helplessly.

“Time is different in Heaven.
 
Days seem like minutes to us, but, at the same time, we conceive of every second in ways that humans would never comprehend.
 
I watched weeks pass, and I became very concerned.
 
I could see dangerous events unfolding but could do nothing to stop them.
 
People were looking to put Jesus on trial and kill him.
 
It was hard for me to believe that no one around me understood what was going on.
 
I pleaded with them to go down and at least take Jesus away, but no one listened.
 
We all watched Jerusalem in a similar fashion to the way that American families become fused to the fictional lives of TV characters.
 
Angels analyzed different things that were said, the intricacies of the human psyche, and postulated on probable outcomes.
 
I distinctly remember them discussing which parts would make it on to become a religion and which would be left out.
 
I thrashed, but they were stronger.
 
Then, Jesus took his group to the Garden.

“We watched him pour his heart out to God, and he received no answer.
 
He cried for help.
 
If it had been possible, I would have killed all of the angels, who had pinned me for days, to answer his call.
 
The Romans came upon him in the Garden.
 
They took him back to Pilate, beating him like a criminal the whole way.
 
I felt every blow, and it all compounded into something very dark, brewing inside of me.
 
I later recognized it to be hate, but then it only felt like pain and sorrow.

“Pilate made a weak excuse for not defying the trivial accusations of the high priests and sent Christ to be punished for crimes that did not exist.
 
They accused him of blasphemy.
 

“We had never told humans that the rules didn’t change.
 
We never told them that society, though it constantly changes, should be expected to abide by the same laws.
 
We only wanted to show them love, and they returned the favor with hate.
 
As they beat Jesus, tore sinews, ripped muscle, devoured flesh with their scourges, and humiliated him in front of an audience, I gnashed my teeth and prayed for release.
 
I can’t imagine what Jesus was feeling.

“Then, they nailed him to the cross.
 
The beatings, the whippings, and the crown of thorns had been insulting.
 
But, when they put nails through his wrists and ankles, something died inside me.
 
He was only barely conscious when they laid him on the cross.
 
However, when the hammers rung, Jesus’s pain echoed throughout Heaven, and we all wailed.
 

“He hung there for an hour, his soul shifting between dimensions.
 
Through the entire ordeal, there was one voice he could hear clearly.
 
Lucifer was there, and he was laughing at Jesus’s plight.
 
He was saying that he’d told Jesus that this was how it would end.
 
He invited Jesus, one more time, to turn away from God and be plucked down from the cross, but Jesus would not.

“In his last moments of life, he looked up to Heaven and cried, ‘Father, why have you forsaken me?’
 
He was probably directing this to God, but it was more than I could take.
 
I had guided him through thirty years of life and protected him from anything that sought to hurt him.
 
I taught him about love and faith.
 
I taught him the ways of the world.
 
In many respects, I was his father, and I could do nothing to save him.
 

“Finally, we could no longer see what was happening from Heaven.
 
God had, in fact, turned His face from Jesus.
 
In the moment that the only important human in the world needed His guidance most, God quit watching.
 
It was then that I could feel myself begin to fall.
 
I still had some conception of Heaven and the angels around me, but I was, like Jesus, slipping between worlds.
 
The angels who had restrained me released me and were backing away.
 
I suppose that they didn’t want to be too close to me when I fell—perhaps out of a fear that I would drag them along.
 
And, if it had been possible, I probably would have.

“When I was shunted from Heaven, I hit bottom hard.
 
I told you that the Fall feels like it takes forever.
 
I could sense all things happening on Earth, Heaven, and Hell.
 
I drew all of my energy together to prepare for the collision.
 
I didn’t intend to spend the rest of eternity in a prison, so I did what so many others had done.
 
I can assure you, it’s not as easy as I describe it.
 
I almost didn’t have the force of will to hold it together, and I was so weak that, when I did hit, I lay there, paralyzed, for a day and a half.

“I landed just outside of Jerusalem, interestingly enough.
 
Angels can force the direction of their fall to some degree with enough will power.
 
Eventually, I came to understand and utilize my new body, but there was something inside of me that I had only gotten a taste of in Heaven.
 
I wanted to nail all of the high priests to crosses.
 
I wanted to burn Rome to the ground, but I settled on going after Judas first.
 

“He’d been hiding from Jesus’s following, fearful that they would kill him for martyring their lord.
 
He would have been right, except that they, too, were hiding.
 
No one, though, could hide from me.
 
I had to be careful because, at that time, there was still a rule about physically hurting humans.
 
I couldn’t do it without incurring the wrath of God—unless, of course, I had a divine mandate, and under the circumstances, that looked doubtful.
 
But that didn’t keep me from tormenting Judas’s dreams or haunting his waking moments.
 
One night, weeks after Jesus’s death, I persuaded Judas to hang himself in view of Jerusalem’s walls.

“The other thing I did upon getting to Earth was look in on Jesus’s body.
 
For the first time, I felt completely human emotions, and I wept over the corpse.
 
I knew there was nothing inside, but that irrational sorrow took over.
 
I took the body away, vowing, one day, to lay it in Eden.
 

“I returned to get the remainder of Jesus’s things when two women walked into his tomb.
 
At first, they had thought to call the guards. However, when I burst into flames, they fell, prostrated, to the ground.
 
Funny how a little bit of supernatural display can do that.
 
I told them to run along, that Jesus was no longer there.
 
They took the message back to the disciples that Jesus had risen from the dead.
 
I laughed all the way back to where I had hidden his body.
 
My laughing stopped when I found that his body was no longer there.

“Enraged and thinking that someone had stolen the body of my student, I stalked around Jerusalem trying to catch a scent or something.
 
I found nothing.
 
Nor were there footprints around where I had left the carcass, which is strange because there are always footprints in a land composed of desert—even if men can’t find them, demons have very acute senses.
 
I never found the body.
 
After I had my fun with Judas and the high priests, I left Jerusalem.
 
I didn’t return for a long time.”

Alex breathed deeply.
 
“That’s an amazing story.”

Jeremiah smiled.
 
“Yes, well, let’s hope that I never have to tell a similar story where
you
 are the protagonist.”

Alex fell silent as he contemplated the implications of what Jeremiah had said.

Jeremiah sighed.
 
“You humans lose faith so easily when God doesn’t respond immediately.
 
Imagine what it must feel like to be expected to perform His will but never know the reasons for it.
 
This was my insanity.
 
I couldn’t understand why God would allow His son and my student to die so horribly.
 
The Bible tells us that Jesus took his place at the right hand of the Father.
 
I would give anything—everything—to talk to him again.
 
I pleaded to God for a long time to take me back.
 
I called to Jesus to let me see him one more time.
 
There was no answer, and I festered in my madness.
 
I walked the Earth for a long time before regaining a little bit of who I was before.