Dendera (29 page)

With the woman’s words, Kayu Saitoh remembered that the bear had killed Masari Shiina, Kyu Hoshina, and Nokobi Hidaka. Filled with inexpressible rage, she tried to sit herself up.

But the right arm was gone.

She stared for a time at the robe-cloth bandage covering her wound, as if it had nothing to do with her. But when she realized that the throbbing pain she felt was directly connected to what she was looking at, she realized that it was
her
right arm that was gone. Recalling fragments of her dream, she asked the women if they had taken care of her.

“If you could even call it that,” Hono Ishizuka said, shaking her head. “We cauterized your wound and crushed your bone. Your arm had been disconnected. I’m ashamed we couldn’t do more.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re making me look ungrateful.”

Kayu Saitoh stood. She wavered pitifully, likely because of how much blood she’d lost, and remaining on her feet was a struggle. But Kayu Saitoh was glad to be able to move on her own at all, and she was able to accept the loss of her arm. She had trouble walking unaided, so she picked up a wooden spear and leaned on it like a cane.

“By the way, where is everyone else? It’s too dangerous not to stick together. We don’t know when the bear will come back.”

Kayu Saitoh looked to the other five women, but none responded. They were immersed in deep torpor and existed in a state of total exhaustion. Just as Kayu Saitoh was opening her mouth to ask again, Usuma Tsutsumi suddenly pounded her fist against the floor and half shouted, “That’s why we’re finished!”

“What do you mean, finished? Tell me in a way I can understand.”

“What’s not to understand? Whether the bear comes or not, Dendera is finished. We’re going to die!” Now she really was shouting. “We’re all going to die. We’re going to die …”

“If you can move, you should go see for yourself,” Hono Ishizuka said lifelessly. “See what Dendera has become. See what happened to it in those three days you were asleep. Go see how it ended.”

Kayu Saitoh already intended to do just that. She gripped her spear and dragged herself outside the hut. In an instant, she understood the women’s despair.

Dendera truly was finished.

In Dendera—with its watchtower, its manor, and two more huts destroyed by the bear’s attack—only stillness pervaded. In Dendera—its bear trap burned down, along with any role the settlement carried in the fight against the beast—no women were there to be seen, nor even their voices to be heard. In Dendera—under a thick blanket of white snow—only destroyed homes and women’s corpses remained, and nothing else.

Only ruination remained.

Only finality remained.

As Kayu Saitoh stared into the total destruction that was Dendera, she began to question why everything was so still. The moment the question came to her, she felt chills along her back. Thrusting her spear into the ground, she turned to look at the three remaining undamaged huts. She had just seen that five women were in one of them. She hurried to the adjacent hut and entered it. The cold outside air had eaten its way inside. Filling the absence of the warmth was that familiar foul smell. In front of the unlit hearth lay three women—Hogi Takamiya, Shijira Iikubo, and Maru Kusachi—dead in a large pool of blood. Kayu Saitoh approached them and saw that each of them wore the same galling, smugly satisfied expression. The women showed no signs of having been in pain.

Kayu Saitoh rushed to the third hut. To her annoyance, her body didn’t move as well as she expected it to, but she reached the hut. It too radiated cold silence. She practically tumbled inside.

Shigi Yamamoto was seated in front of the hearth as she always was.

Kayu Saitoh stood behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. The woman collapsed to the floor. A trail of blood ran from her mouth down to her stomach. Startled, Kayu Saitoh lost her balance and fell on her rear. She took hold of her spear and tried to forced her body—now trembling for many different reasons—to stand, but her legs had lost their strength. Using her left arm, she dragged herself closer to Shigi Yamamoto. The woman’s face was devoid of warmth, and her always mumbling lips were now purple and motionless. She was dead. That particular foul odor lingered on her lips.

In the stone pot were the remnants of a meal.

Kayu Saitoh’s mind, which had gone largely unused for seventy years, suddenly began to turn and turn.

This new sensation soon manifested itself as a headache, but with her right arm gone, and her left holding the spear, she had nothing to press against her head. She could only keep on thinking. She would have to know everything.

She poked her spear into the stone pot, breaking the thin layer of ice that had formed on the top, revealing a semi-clear broth in which floated solid shapes—pieces of potato. She tossed aside her spear and fished out one of the potatoes. It was indeed potato, but with a little help from her suspicions, she detected in it that particular odor.

Suddenly, visions of her days in Dendera exploded through her mind. She wasn’t thinking, but rather her mind was working of its own accord. Her headache worsened, and she became dizzy. As her head whirled, she saw the other women go about their daily lives, in glimpses she hadn’t seen but could now picture. She felt as if the holes in her knowledge were being filled—by the day-to-day experiences of Shigi Yamamoto, and of Maru Kusachi’s circle. She recalled Shigi Yamamoto’s unvarying behavior. She recalled what Maru Kusachi had said. She made assumptions of them, though the act was selfish and impudent, and closer to fancy than inference, but she was confident in the conclusion that established itself in her mind.

Any desire to resettle now vanished. She knew that the desire had been nothing more than a lie—a deceit practiced upon herself. In truth, Kayu Saitoh had never wanted to resettle. She had never wanted to go to some other land.

What she wanted, her aspiration, had never been to resettle.

From the very beginning, it had been but one thing.

This realization was triggered when she witnessed the many corpses, each with their own clear desire—to go to Paradise.

Theirs was a desire ardent and resolute.

Kayu Saitoh had learned everything. “I was wrong,” she whispered through her daze. “It wasn’t a plague. They were killed.”

H
ono Ishizuka was the first to speak. “It wasn’t a plague? I don’t understand. Kayu … what are you saying?”

“I’m saying what happened.” Kayu Saitoh sat in front of the hearth and looked at the five confused-looking women. “There was never a plague in Dendera. Not once. Not sixteen years ago, and not this time. There is no plague.”

Not backing down, Hono Ishizuka said, “But all those people threw up blood and died. That’s what happened. It was obviously a plague. If not, then what was it?”

“Poisoned food.”

“Poisoned food?” The fight left Hono Ishizuka’s voice, and her perplexed expression became even more so. “What’s that, some kind of joke?”

“I don’t see why I’d be joking.”

“So what, Shigi and Maru were also poisoned?”

“Yes,” Kayu Saitoh said with an assured nod. “Let me ask you—how long have their bodies been left there? When did they die?”

“It was right after the bear fled,” Hotori Oze said, moving to sit in front of Kayu Saitoh. The woman had more reason than anyone to want to know the truth—to identify what lurked in her body. “They vomited blood not long after. I remember the order too. First was Shigi Yamamoto, that night. Maru Kusachi and Hogi Takamiya were the next morning. I don’t know about Shijira Iikubo. By the time we noticed, she was already unconscious. All of them died soon, one after the other.”

“Those three aren’t relevant. What order they died in doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

“What? What do you mean that they aren’t relevant? They threw up blood and died—Maru Kusachi and all of them. How can you say that when I’m going to die vomiting blood too?”

“You’re right. What matters … is you.” Kayu Saitoh said, trying to take control of the conversation. “You, and Nokobi Hidaka … Shigi Yamamoto’s victims.”

Hotori Oze furrowed her brow in bewilderment. “Shigi Yamamoto’s … victims?”

“Tell me, Hotori Oze, did Shigi Yamamoto give you any food?”

“Any food? No.”

“Then what about Nokobi Hidaka? Did she give you any potatoes?”

“We were both on guard duty the same day, and she gave me some potato soup, but …”

“Wait a minute,” Hono Ishizuka said, cutting in. “How did Nokobi have any potatoes? Dendera is practically without food. I can’t believe that Nokobi had enough potatoes to share.”

“Shigi Yamamoto had the potatoes,” Kayu Saitoh said.

“Shigi?”

“Nokobi Hidaka received her potatoes from Shigi Yamamoto—poisonous potatoes.”

Hono Ishizuka said, “Kayu, you’re talking as if you saw it for yourself, but you didn’t, did you?”

“You’re right, I didn’t see it. But I’m convinced it’s what happened.”

Sounding unswayed, Hotori Oze asked, “Where’s your proof?”

“Shigi Yamamoto’s body was in front of the stone pot. Potato soup was inside the pot. If any of you want to eat it and see if you throw up blood, you’ll have your proof.”

Hono Ishizuka narrowed her eyes condescendingly. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

But Hotori Oze laughed. “That’s a good one. Hey, Hono Ishizuka, why don’t you try eating it? You’re only going to starve to death or be killed by that bear anyway, so what do you have to lose?”

Hono Ishizuka gave no response, save to extend that condescending gaze to Hotori Oze.

To both of them Kayu Saitoh said, “Of course, we’re not going to try to prove it that way. But since both Nokobi Hidaka and Hotori Oze ate the same potatoes at the same time and became ill at the same time, you have to admit I’m not being unreasonable. Nokobi Hidaka never gave up on attacking the Village, and she was conspiring with Hotori Oze. If Nokobi Hidaka got potatoes from Shigi Yamamoto, it’s plausible that she would share them with Hotori Oze, and it’s plausible that only those two became ill.”

Kayu Saitoh had never tried to use reason to explain something before, and as she spoke she felt muddled, but she had somehow managed it. She looked to the other women to see how she did. By their expressions they didn’t appear convinced, but neither did they obstinately reject what Kayu had said. The women seemed to be deep in their own thoughts.

“For now, let’s accept that part of it,” Hono Ishizuka said, wiping sweat from her forehead. “But the main question remains. Where did Shigi get the potatoes? She certainly couldn’t have kept a secret field somewhere.”

“I doubt she did. That’s why she waited sixteen years.” Kayu Saitoh nodded. “I thought about how the plague happened sixteen years ago. Shigi Yamamoto was already in Dendera by then, right? Remember, her family had an herb garden, so I think she would have known it wasn’t a plague. And I think she recognized it was poison. She might have even slipped poisonous potatoes into the food of some of the victims in order to confirm it. Either way, Shigi Yamamoto saw with her own eyes a great number of people dying because of poisonous food. And in that moment … she realized she could bring about her aspiration.”

“And what exactly is that? What was this aspiration?”

“She wanted to go to Paradise.”

The firewood crackled in the hearth.

No one opened their mouths. Kayu Saitoh surveyed the silent room, recognizing the weight of her words. Partly due to the tense atmosphere, she was suddenly aware of and irritated by her bangs. She tried to brush them aside, but they refused to move. She thought this was peculiar, but then she realized her right arm was gone, so she used her left instead. Then she spoke again.

“Shigi Yamamoto obviously never told me directly, but she wanted to go to Paradise. She had never wanted a new life in Dendera. But when she was Climbing the Mountain, you all saved her. That’s what drove her to commit such evil.”

Hono Ishizuka leaned forward. “Shigi wanted to go to Paradise? She wanted to die?”

“I think so. She had so much vitality in the Village, and yet the moment she came to Dendera, she became as lifeless as a corpse. She came into Dendera, and in Dendera she would die.” Selfishly, Kayu Saitoh sympathized with her. “I think she must have been crestfallen. She had resolved herself to Climb the Mountain and find her noble death. But she was rescued by women who she believed had died noble deaths ahead of her. And they prattled on and on, boasting about how they were alive,
they were alive,
and I think she felt let down. Like I did.”

When she said, “Like I did,” the other five women—that is to say, all the surviving women of Dendera—reacted, turning their eyes to her. Kayu Saitoh again felt the weight of what she had said, and she added, “Some of us weren’t looking to escape death.”

Hikari Asami had been listening quietly, but now she spoke. “Shigi Yamamoto … wanted Paradise.” She began taking slow steps toward the entrance. “She witnessed the turmoil sixteen years ago and saw that it was really food poisoning. I get … the gist of it.”

“Well then, I’m
so
glad you get it,” Hotori Oze growled. “
I
was the one who was made to eat those damn potatoes.”

Hotori Oze jumped to her feet and began to charge, fist raised, at Hikari Asami, but she suddenly began vomiting blood, and Hikari Asami ended up holding her. As the blood came up, Hotori Oze moaned painfully, “Damn you.”

Kayu Saitoh said exactly what was on her mind. “You all had your bigger purposes. You killed others to further the preservation of Dendera. You killed others to further the raid on the Village. All Shigi Yamamoto did was act on her own larger purpose.”

Hotori Oze yelled, “She should have left us out of it!” She pushed Hikari Asami aside and returned to where she had been sitting.

“I don’t think that was an option. Shigi Yamamoto wanted to bring all of us to Paradise with her.” Kayu Saitoh watched over Hotori Oze. “Shigi Yamamoto saw your slovenly existence in Dendera, and she was revolted by it. Wanting not even to talk with you, she lived as if she were already dead.”

Kayu Saitoh understood better than any of the others what it was like to simultaneously have a reason to live and a reason to die, and she understood that those who sought only their own death pursued their path with just as much tireless effort as those who sought to live.

With a few coughs, Hotori Oze said, “Does that mean Shigi Yamamoto was putting on an act? She hadn’t gone senile?”

“I think it was an act. Throughout her deathlike existence in Dendera, she waited for the plague—no, the poisoning—to come about again. She was waiting for her opportunity to kill everyone.”

With despair in her voice, Hono Ishizuka moaned, “And once Makura came down with the symptoms, then Shigi took action.”

“Makura Katsuragawa’s symptoms were likely identical to those of the women’s sixteen years ago. Once Shigi Yamamoto knew it was another outbreak of food poisoning, she acted. It had happened during a momentary lull in events, but we were in an uproar over the bear, and I was even locked up in a cage. No one would have noticed her stealing the poisonous potatoes from Makura Katsuragawa’s hut. Besides, Shigi Yamamoto was as active as a corpse; none of us would have paid her any attention.”

Hotori Oze wiped her mouth and said, “When we learned that Makura Katsuragawa had come down with the symptoms, and that Tsugu Ohi had died, we all gathered in the clearing, clamoring for the poor woman’s death. All of the huts were empty. That must have been when she did it.”

“No, Shigi Yamamoto wasn’t that careless.” Kayu Saitoh shook her head, thinking of the timing of Soh Kiriyama’s and Somo Izumi’s decline. In the end, Soh Kiriyama had died as clueless to the circumstances of her illness as her sister had been. “She would have acted immediately. Since no one paid her attention, it would have been easy work. Soh Kiriyama and Somo Izumi were unmistakably her doing—and Kushi Tachibana and Ire Tachibana too.”

Kayu Saitoh admitted finding Kushi Tachibana and Ire Tachibana collapsed in their own blood. Since it was in the past now, none of the women rebuked her and Hono Ishizuka’s decision to hide the truth. Rather, the women asked her to continue her explanation.

Hotori Oze said, “All right, if she wanted to kill everyone—if she wanted to bring all of us to Paradise—couldn’t she have fed us all the potatoes at the same time? After Soh Kiriyama staged her revolt, and Masari Shiina became Dendera’s leader, nothing happened for a while.”

“That answer I really can’t know for sure, but between the bear and our infighting, maybe she thought it was easier to let us die on our own. My guess is that she didn’t have enough potatoes to kill everyone.”

“Kayu,” Hono Ishizuka said, “why, after the long respite, did she make Nokobi eat the potatoes?”

“It’s because of me,” Kayu Saitoh declared. “Nokobi Hidaka was starving and miserable, so I told her my plan to resettle. I told her that I wanted to leave Dendera and take everyone with me. Shigi Yamamoto lived with us, so she of course heard us talk.”

“And so,” Hikari Asami said softly, “she had to rush it.”

“She figured that if we all moved, it would become harder to kill us. So, first she put the rest of her potatoes in our hut’s cooking pot. Unaware, Nokobi Hidaka shared them with Hotori Oze. But they were intended for me.” Seated directly in front of Hotori Oze, Kayu Saitoh bowed her head to the woman in heartfelt sincerity and said, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize.” Hotori Oze snorted. “Say you’re sorry again and I’ll give you a thumping.”

Kayu Saitoh gently lifted her head. Hotori Oze regarded her with a stern expression but one without any signs of anger or ill will.

Hikari Asami spoke. “Kayu Saitoh … despite all this being nothing more than your speculation, I think you’re right. But I still have to ask. Why would Shigi Yamamoto choose to die when she hadn’t yet killed us? She left it unfinished … when she could have killed us.”

“Who can say? She may have judged that we wouldn’t be able to survive anyway.”

Kayu Saitoh hadn’t thought it through that far, and so she had only said the first thing that came to her mind. But she suspected she wasn’t far from the truth.

“All right,” Hikari Asami said. “What about Maru Kusachi’s circle? Why did she kill those three, but not us?”

“Maru Kusachi, Hogi Takamiya, and Shijira Iikubo killed themselves.”

“They killed themselves?” Hotori Oze repeated.

“Those three—neither Hawks nor Doves—they, like Shigi Yamamoto, wanted to die. They wanted Paradise. This too is only speculation, but I don’t think I’m wrong.”

Kayu Saitoh recalled every word of her short conversation with Maru Kusachi. The woman had said she was going to a place without the bear, the plague, or starvation. She had said that Kayu Saitoh knew the place better than anyone. Outside of Paradise, Kayu Saitoh knew of no such place.

Hono Ishizuka narrowed her eyes, seeming to extend her condescending look to the three women who were no longer with them. “So that’s what they were doing when they were sluggardly skulking about. They were trying to die, were they?”

“I have my doubts about whether or not they knew it was food poisoning, but they did suspect something about Shigi Yamamoto’s potatoes.” She sent a fruitless glance to her missing arm. “When Soh Kiriyama led her revolt, we all took positions at the storehouse. With free run of Dendera, Shigi Yamamoto fed her poisonous potatoes to Ire Tachibana and Kushi Tachibana. One of Maru Kusachi’s three must have witnessed her doing it. Then, sometime later, the twins died. That would be enough to arouse plenty of suspicion.”