Depths (15 page)

He smiled, and I could have sworn he winked at me as
he opened the door and left.

It stayed quiet for a couple
minutes after Charles left. She didn
’
t
want to talk and I didn
’
t want to push
her. We simply sat on her couch, trying to watch some TV show, but
the tension was suffocating.

What did she mean she was going away? For how
long?

Ask her.

“
So you're going away?
”

There was a dull flatness to my voice.

She turned the TV off, and paused for a moment
before speaking.

“
I applied to Stanford awhile back
and I got accepted. And I've been giving it a lot of thought and I
want to do it.
”

She did all of this without telling you?

“
You did all of that without
saying anything about it to me?
”

I felt my pulse quickening.

“
I didn't want to say anything
until I knew for sure. I didn't even think I'd get
accepted!
”

There's that tone I loved.

She had to have known that she got in a while ago.
Her dad already knew for Christ's sake and they speak how often?
Once every so many months?

“
Well you obviously knew about it
way before tonight, you're fucking dad knew already. And by the
way, he's a prick.
”

You're losing it.

“
And another thing,
”
I continued,
“I hate it
when you try to dance around things and not give me a real answer
because you think I won
’
t like it or whatever. Why the
hell didn't you say anything about this to me?
”

And you slipped...

She was pissed now. She shoved me and threw the
remote at me and I could see the venom in her eyes.

“
You know what?
Fuck
you! You think
you're easy to deal with? Like you tell me everything
that
’
s going on
with you at the exact moment it happens? Fuck you, I don't want to
hear that shit!
”

The blood pounded through my head so hard it made my
vision pulse with every heart beat and there was very little
thought process in what happened next.

Cut her ear to ear.

Slice her open so she can never hurt me again.

Slice her open.

Yes
…

After I got home and parked the car, I got out and
opened the passenger side door. I unbuckled her body and put one
arm around her back, the other under her knees and hoisted her out.
It took some effort, but I managed to carry her up the driveway to
my house. Her head lolled from side to side, the gash grinning from
ear to ear looked like it was trying to gargle out some sort of
last plea for help with every step I took.

I got to the door and realized I
couldn
’
t open
the door whilst carrying her.

So I dropped her.

She landed in a wet heap at my feet, her head
twisted at an impossible angle, barely hanging on by the little
skin and muscle that was left intact.

I pulled my keys out from my pocket and turned the
lock.

Click!

I loved that sound.

I stooped and grabbed her by her ankle and dragged
her inside. Her shirt rolled up her stomach, exposing her
midsection, as I dragged her down the hallway towards my room. Her
neck left trails of blood that shone in the moonlight. I would have
to clean later.

I propped her against the bed and pulled her up from
under her arm pits onto the mattress. Her head rolled to the left
and I thought I could see her windpipe. I ran my finger through her
hair and down her cheek, leaving a streak of crimson.

I needed a shower, I was drenched in blood. I went
into the bathroom and turned the water on. It would take a minute
or two to warm up so I went back and sat on the edge of my bed.

I just looked at her lying there. She was so
beautiful, a goddess. The flesh on her leg was still warm, but just
barely. Her skin is so soft. I wonder how she gets it that smooth.
What razors did she use to shave, what creams and how much, how
often?

The water was ready, I could see
it steaming up the bathroom. I gave her one last glance and got in
the shower. There's nothing quite like a hot shower to erase the
bad memories of the day. I felt the tension leaving my muscles and
watched the blood spiral down the drain. I scrubbed and scrubbed
until I couldn
’
t
see red in the water anymore. I wanted to stay in just little bit
longer though and let the water run over me.

My skin was turning pink from the
heat so I turned the faucet off and dried myself on a towel tossing
it in the corner
—
I would pick it up
later
—
and opened the door to my room. She
was still lying on my bed, right where I left her. My naked body
chilled instantly after stepping out of the hot shower, it was
freezing in my room. I went to my dresser and grabbed a clean shirt
out of the middle drawer, boxers and socks from the drawer beneath,
and to my closet to get a pair of pants.

I sat back on the edge of the bed next to her again
and pulled on my boxers and socks. The boxers had little hearts on
them. I think she gave them to me as a present or something, I
couldn't remember. I put the pants on, zipped the zipper, buttoned
the buttons and tugged the shirt over my head. It was a plain,
navy-blue one.

“
Don
’
t you go leaving me now. I'll be
right back babe.
”

I bent down and kissed her on the forehead. Her
glazed eyes stared blankly off into infinity. I loved them, so deep
and warm. I walked out of my room and closed the door behind
me.

I left my house, locked the
door
—

Click!

—
and went back to my car. I would
have to wash the blood off the porch and the driveway. Not like the
neighbors would notice, I don't interact with them much anyways. I
got in the car and started it up.

I only had one stop to make.

I got back to my house in about twenty minutes. I
popped my trunk and grabbed the chains I had just bought. Big thick
chain. A bull couldn't break through the stuff, the guy at the
hardware store told me so himself. It was heavy and made a lot of
noise as I half carried it, half dragged it to my door. I should
have remembered to leave the door unlocked. I fumbled around,
trying to keep a grip on the chains and still get the key into the
lock. It took a few tries and made a lot of noise, but I did it. I
did a quick scan up and down my street, I had made an awful lot of
noise but I didn't see anyone watching.

I got inside, closed the door with my foot and
finally got to use both my arms to carry the chains, my one arm was
getting tired. A smile crept up on me as I opened my bedroom door,
I couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she saw what I
bought her.

I went through the door and was about to call out
her name when I noticed she wasn't on the bed anymore. The chains
almost dropped out of my hands when I caught movement from the
corner of my eye.

She was staggering against the wall across from me,
leaning her head and shoulder against it as she stumbled back and
forth. She kept her head down with her hair covering her face, her
limp arms flopped around with each unsteady step. Every once in a
while she would convulse a little and jerk her arm up, scritching
and scratching at the wall.

Still
a goddess.

I set the chains down and walked slowly towards her
as she headed the opposite direction.

I held out my arm and set my hand
on her shoulder and she stopped. She turned around, slowly lifting
her head up, eyes out of focus, still staring into infinity. Her
head fell backwards, opening the wound in her throat completely.
F
resh blood
bubbled out of her slit neck as she tried to
speak. She raised her hand up and I followed the direction of her
pointed finger. It was towards the door.

“
See, now that's exactly the
reason I had to go and get these.
”

I picked up the chain off the
ground and began binding her with it, draping it over her shoulder
and circling her with one end in my hand. Her head lolled back and
forth as I jerked the chain tighter and tighter,
loop
ing and
weaving it about into a knot that a rat's nest would be proud of. I
stood back and admired my work. She wasn't going
anywhere.

She looked so beautiful lying on my bed, barely able
to move under the weight of the chains. She gave up struggling
quite some time ago, but every now and then she let out a wet
gurgle. For the most part though, she just lay there.
Beautiful.

A
goddess.

I didn't even care that she was getting blood all
over the sheets. I would wash them later.

I noticed that my hands were smeared with blood
again so I gave her a kiss on the forehead and got up to wash my
hands.

The water felt good against the
cold of the house. Blood ran down my fingers, turning an almost
orange in the water. I really would have to fix my thermostat,
there
’
s just no way that
it
’
s 75 degrees in here. I splashed some
water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I leaned in to
get a look at my eyes but they seemed
…
Different.

My reflection backed away from me and wagged its
finger at me.

“
What did I tell you?
”
he asked.

He reached through the mirror and grabbed me by my
shirt, yanking me forward through the mirror. I anticipated pain,
but the mirror rippled like liquid and felt cold and wet against my
skin. I landed on my hands and knees, blinded by an intense white
light.

I shook my head and blinked, trying to get my eyes
back in focus. The Voice paced around with his head in his hand
before finally stooping down to me.

“
What did I tell you? I said not
to let your emotions get the best of you.
”

It took me a second to register what he had said. I
was back in the white room. The walls were shifting and seemed even
more unstable than they were before.

“
Don
’
t let your emotions get the best
of you. You need to get your shit together and figure out why we're
in here and you better do it quick too.
”

“
Why do I need to do it
quick?
”
I asked.

“
Well
, with the shit you've been
seeing and doing in your memories, I don't really think you want to
spend a whole lot of time in there.
”

“
What the hell was that?
What
was
I
doing?
”

“
Honestly, I have no idea what you
were doing. You got distracted and let yourself wander. Why you
were doing
that
…
Fucked if I know.
”

I sat myself up against the wall. It seemed to give
a little as I leaned back against it. I noticed for the first time
that a coffee table and couch were now in the room. They looked
identical to the table and couch in my living room. The Voice In My
Head sat down on the couch, propped his feet up on the table and
crossed his arms.

“
We can guess one thing based off
your memory. Charles doesn't like you. Not one bit. He clearly
doesn't like the fact you're with his daughter and it sure seemed
like he mentioned her moving away just to piss you off. And it
worked too.
”

“
So what does that
mean?
”

“
It means you need to dig some
more for memories of this guy. There had to have been other times
when he was around you two, or maybe even just you. Or maybe times
when she told you about him or something.
”

“
So you think Charles has
something to do with this?
”
I said,
gesturing at the room.

“
I think it's a good possibility.
Just remember. Pay attention to the
details.
”

“
So where should I go
next?
”

“
That's up to you. I'm not your
memories, I'm just your thoughts.
”

I could think of one place I'd like to visit
again.

“
So anything I think of, or
remember
…
This room will take me
there?
”

The food
…
My god the food
…
I
’
d never tasted anything like it.
It
’
d probably cost me half my paycheck, it
was one of those fancy restaurants that don't even put the prices
next to the meals, but it was exquisite. I
’
d
never
tasted anything like it.

She took a sip of her wine and peered at me over the
rim of the glass. Those deep, coy, brown eyes. God they were
stunning. She set the glass back on the table and folded her hands
up against her cheeks. The candlelight danced shadows off her face,
highlighting her perfect cheekbones and playfully hiding her dark
eyes.

“
So what do you do
exactly?
”
she asked with a mischievous
smile, her words carried gently to my ears over the
soothing
…
Whatever kind of music that was
playing, I wasn
’t sure. I
wasn
’
t exactly in my element here but I
wanted to impress her
—
which I
couldn
’
t do when asked that
question
—
so I opted for humor
instead.