Desert Rising (25 page)

She became aware that more time had passed than seemed normal, as a calf muscle cramped and brought her back to the present. She pushed Djinn's head away and thumped her leg with her fist with small movements, trying not to draw attention to herself. She glanced around and saw that Jonas was staring at the screens in front of him with a frown on his face, as though trying to hear something. She focused and realized she could hear irritated voices on the other side of the screen. She recognized Counselor Elida and the Herald but didn't know the male voice. There was movement in the hallway, then silence again for a long time.

Finally, Sulis looked over at Jonas.

“Is this normal?” she asked in a whisper.

He shook his head silently, his forehead creased with worry. His
feli
had given up his dignified position and sprawled on the stone floor beside him.

Sulis looked around at the other pledges and saw that the other
feli
had also given up. The twins'
feli
had curled up together. The twins were whispering to each other. Even Alannah had a perturbed look on her face, glancing from the wooden screen to the hall door as though she wanted to get up and ask what was going on.

They heard footsteps in the hall and looked over as a maiden of Ivanha and a soldier of Voras came in side by side. They looked a minute at the pledges, as though making sure they'd been seen, then walked behind the screens.

“Well?” Sulis heard Counselor Elida ask in an irritated tone.

The maiden of Ivanha, her tone loud enough that the pledges could hear every word, said, “The Crone regrets that she cannot in good conscience attend this Ceremony of Initiation. These pledges have been tampered with and influenced despite the warning given by the One. Ivanha will not let such an outrage go unpunished and demands a reckoning from the deities who have so trespassed. This Ceremony cannot continue.”

Sulis sucked in her breath and felt herself go pale. She looked over at Lasha, who was red-­faced, then at Joaquil. Joaquil's eyes were wide, and her hands trembled as she smoothed her skirt down, staring at the floor.

The soldier echoed the maiden's words. “Voras has heard the evidence the Crone has gathered and agrees. There will be no ceremony until we have had a reckoning.”

“Nonsense!” the Herald's voice boomed. “It is an outrage for the Crone to interfere with the pledging process. She is the one who will have a reckoning!”

“Enough.” Counselor Elida's voice cut through Herald's protests. She lowered her voice so Sulis could barely hear her. “We will discuss this in the hall.”

The last of their voices faded from earshot, and Sulis looked at her fellow pledges.

“This is bollocks,” Dani growled. Surging to his feet, he paced the small chamber. “How could they do this to us?”

The other pledges murmured in agreement, most of them getting to their feet.

Tori stood and stretched, then looked at the rest of them and shook her head. “You stupid children,” she said in a mild tone, almost sympathetic. “Playing around with things when you have no idea of the result. Did you really believe all your meetings and sneaking about would go unnoticed? There are always consequences for actions.”

Joaquil snorted. “I wasn't doing anything wrong. I never met with the others to plot against the deities. I don't see why I should be punished with them.”

Tori stared at her impassively. “I did not say the meetings were wrong. I said it was stupid not to realize there would be consequences. Indeed, I would rather be around ­people who plot together than a person who sneaks and pretends and plots against her fellow pledges. You may well be suffering the punishment for your own plotting.”

Joaquil turned red and walked back toward the corner without another word.

Tori turned and walked toward the door, her
feli
on her heels.

“Is the change not worth the risk?” Sulis called after the older woman, bringing her to a halt. “It seems to me that reforming the Ceremony is worth a try. If the One is merciful, then she will help us. They can't stop us forever. And once the change is made, good things will follow.”

“I used to believe as you do,” Tori said, without looking back. “I hope you never realize that your belief in choice is false and your hopes have turned to ashes.”

She walked out of the Temple, and the other pledges stared after her.

Luella jerked her thumb at the door. “So where's she going?” she asked.

Lasha shrugged. “I don't know—­maybe back to the dormitory?”

“I don't believe this,” Sandy said harshly, kicking the stone wall of the Temple. “We aren't allowed to go back to our boats, and we can't be initiated. What do they expect us to do—­wait around while we get older and older?”

Jonas shook his head. “They have to let us be initiated sometime. They're just looking for something to fight about with one another.”

“And we gave it to them,” Dani said with disgust.

Sulis felt overwhelmed with guilt as she realized it was probably her time with Kadar that had gotten them into this. Because she'd saved him, the deities had taken notice of the pledge class and had dragged them into the middle of their own war. And the secret meetings, as well as her last meeting with Kadar, had given the deities a reason to stop the Ceremony. This class would be safely at their new dorms with their lives moving forward if it hadn't been for her.

“I'm sorry,” she said in a low voice. “Tori's right; I didn't think of the consequences. Whether right or wrong, I should have considered what they could do to us if we disobeyed, and I didn't.”

Lasha put an arm around her. “It's okay, Sulis. I made that choice myself,” she said defiantly, looking at the others.

Sandy just grimaced and turned away. Dani looked at the ground, and Luella stared at him.

To Sulis's surprise, Shane spoke up. “You gave me hope,” he said, and looked at his twin. “She did, you know. I thought I would be doing things I hated for the rest of my life after planning for a life I would love.” Sandy nodded reluctantly, and Shane looked at the rest of them. “Nothing we have done is against the deities—­and it is certainly not against any rules. In fact, everything we have done will be an asset for the deity to which we are pledged. Those we have not selected are frightened of us. And I say let them be. There is great satisfaction in knowing my skills are so great that my enemies are desperate to make certain I gain no power.”

“Enemies?” Alannah questioned.

Shane nodded. “As the Vrishni Asa said, ‘For those who would put me down, who would shame and hold back the power of the One, they are mine enemy, and the One will guide me to their destruction.'“

Sulis looked at him in surprise. “They didn't give me any of his scriptures to read,” she said.

“Didn't want to give you any ideas,” Lasha murmured in a low voice. Sulis grinned at her.

“They're pretty obscure readings,” Jonas said. “But his predictions were usually true if a bit frightening.”

They heard footsteps in the screened-­off section of the Temple and looked up. Counselor Elida walked around the screen, looking irritated and harried. She stopped when she saw them on their feet and looked them over as though counting faces.

“Tori left,” Joaquil offered.

The Counselor nodded. “I saw her in the hall. She was heading back to the dormitories.” She paused, then grimaced and continued. “No doubt you heard what Voras and Ivanha said, as they wanted you to. There will be no Ceremony of Initiation tonight, as all Voices need to be present for it to occur.” She held up her hand to forestall their grumblings. “This is a matter for the deities to work out, not you. We cannot physically drag the Crone and Templar here. The Curia will meet tomorrow to see what they want, and we will move forward from there. You will go back to your dormitories for the night. We will meet here after midmeal tomorrow, and you will be informed of the deities' decision then.”

“Has this ever happened before, Counselor?” Dani asked, as they started to file out the door.

The Counselor gave a short laugh. “At least once a generation, one deity or another has to wreak havoc with the system to get his or her way. As I said, this is far higher up than you pledges need to worry about. Get some rest, and this will be resolved in the morning.”

The women walked back through Ivanha's dark courtyard, the path lighted only by small lanterns. They were as quiet as they had been walking to the Temple, but now the excitement had been replaced with disappointment.

They entered the dormitory and found the hallway filled with pink-­cloaked women, who whispered as the girls filed silently past them to the stairways. Sulis saw Lasha turn red with embarrassment at being the object of so many eyes and whispers. But all Sulis felt was mounting frustration and rage.

Their bedding was exactly where they had left it, except for Tori's. She had already made her bed and was in it, her back to the other women. Alannah looked at their piles, then at the other girls.

“They never even moved it—­not in all the time we were in the Temple. They knew we wouldn't be permitted to initiate. They knew what the Crone planned. But they let us keep believing we'd be in our new dorms by nightfall,” she said, her voice tight with anger.

Alannah kicked her bedding aside and sat down on her stripped mattress. Lasha sat beside her and put an arm around her.

Sulis silently picked up her bedding and, with a quick movement, smoothed the blankets out. She was almost dizzy with anger, her ears ringing. How dare the deities use her in their scheming! She heard rustling as the other women picked up their blankets and belongings and made their own beds. Djinn paced beside her, made restless by her anger, hissing when one of the other
feli
came too near. He leapt on the bed when she smoothed it and lay down, staring at her, with his tail lashing in irritation.

“Oh, don't look at me like that,” she muttered at him and sat down on the bed beside him. He reached his paw out to prick her thigh, then head-­butted her in the shoulder. She lay down beside him, not bothering to change out of her white tunic, and used his shoulder as a pillow. They were in it together, she and Djinn. She thought her anger and frustration would keep her awake, but she slid into sleep within moments of putting her head on the pillow.

 

Chapter 15

K
ADAR, FEELING HIS
twin's anger, paced his bedroom. Right after Sulis used their twin bond to wake him up, he'd felt every little emotion she did. But he'd thought that was fading, until tonight. Farrah watched him pace from her seat on the bed.

“Something went wrong,” he told her, shaking his head and trying to rid himself of the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him. The emotions felt wrong; they were in him but were not his.

He'd felt prickly all afternoon; Sulis's nervousness about the initiation had made him jumpy. But this was worse—­feeling rage he couldn't be rid of or act on. “She's furious. And I don't know why. All I get are feelings, and they tell me nothing.”

“Kadar, sit down,” Farrah ordered, and patted the bed beside her.

He sat down, and she started massaging his shoulders. For some reason, that irritated him more. He jumped up with a curse and resumed his pacing.

Farrah sighed. “I'm glad you're more mild-­mannered than your sister,” she told him, shaking her head. “I don't think I could live with a hornet's nest buzzing all the time.”

“It's just a bad time to be sharing emotions,” Kadar said. “With the Initiation Ceremony, her emotions are running higher than usual.”

Sulis's fury eased suddenly, and Kadar unclenched his hands with a sigh of relief. He sagged onto the bed beside Farrah. “I don't know if she fell asleep or just passed out from anger, but it's gone now.” He gave Farrah a lopsided grin. “Thank goodness. I'm exhausted.”

“What do you think happened?” Farrah asked.

“I don't know. It's all emotion. I don't think she was taken by a deity. The healers told me bonding with a deity would lessen our twin bond, and it's stronger than ever. She wouldn't be so angry if something hadn't stood in her way. So they must have prevented her from doing the initiation,” Kadar said.

“Just her, or the others also? I wonder if they're trying to get her to tell them more about the desert. Maybe they'll make her map the paths through it before they'll let her be an acolyte,” Farrah wondered out loud.

“Then she'll be a pledge forever,” Kadar said with a laugh. He caught Farrah's skeptical look and frowned. “No, really. Sulis would die before she handed the desert over to these Northerners.”

Farrah shook her blond head. “We always want to believe in the ­people we love. But if they dangle the one thing she really wants in front of her, you don't know for certain what she'll do to get it.”

“You don't know Sulis. If they won't give her what she wants, she'll find a way to get it without their help. Being angry just makes her creative.”

Farrah still looked doubtful. Kadar cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply. “Why don't we get creative ourselves,” he suggested, and she laughed and let him draw her down onto the bed.

Things had changed since Sulis had inadvertently told his family that Farrah was carrying his child while waking him up. Still weak and trapped in bed, he'd been helpless to avoid the onslaught of lectures from Uncle Tarik and Aunt Raella about his stupidity in not using some form of birth control and putting Farrah in danger this way. The midwife predicted Farrah was due mid-­summer, which meant she had conceived either their first time or shortly after. Ashraf had been more sympathetic, especially when Kadar admitted that he'd thought all women took precautions using certain herbs, as was common in the desert.

Ashraf had shaken his head. “It's different in the North. Up here, they think it's wrong to stop a child from being conceived or being born.”

This had Kadar considering other thoughts as well, such as whether the desert could handle ­people who didn't believe in controlling their population. How soon before they would overrun the fertile areas and suck them dry? He didn't tell Farrah his worries, though. When there was time, he'd ask Ashraf if they'd planned for those differing beliefs, and if there were other beliefs that might cause different problems in the desert.

Uncle Tarik had gone to the Magistrate's office to check on the rules of a Forsaken carrying a child of one who was not Forsaken. He'd learned that if Kadar wanted the child, the rules separating the Forsaken were relaxed to protect her child. Though they were not permitted to marry, they could live together, supposedly so that Kadar could make certain his child was being raised correctly.

While Uncle Tarik had been out checking on the laws, Aunt Raella had argued with Farrah to no end, encouraging her to go to Kadar's grandmother in Shpeth like her sister had. But Farrah had refused to be protected. Her place was in Illian with her mother and Kadar. And while Kadar was proud of her strength, he knew that the real reason she wanted to stay was her leadership in the rebellion. He feared for her and their baby.

In spite of Kadar's worries, planning for rebellion continued. Ashraf requested their presence at a meeting in the warehouse district, and Kadar wanted Farrah to stay behind. As usual, she had refused.

When they got to the warehouse in the morning, Kadar looked around, making certain no one was lurking. He was jumpy; feeling Sulis's anger for the second day in a row made him suspicious that red-­cloaks were going to jump out from the shadows and arrest them all. He and Farrah entered through a side door and found a small crowd of ­people cloaked in brown near the center of the building. Ashraf was leaning against empty crates, talking quietly with the Forsaken.

Farrah spoke softly to Kadar. “These ­people were leaders before they were cast out of the Temple. Many of them were business owners, merchants, or even scribes. All of them were forced out of their homes and businesses, and the Temple took their land and ships. If we can convince them we have a chance, they'll be able to rally hundreds.”

Ashraf looked up as they approached. “Mariah,” he said, nodding at an older woman toward the front of the crowd, “works nights at the Temple for Ivanha's shrine. She witnessed something unusual last night.”

Mariah nodded. “The initiation was supposed to happen last night. We had everything ready to move the pledges to their new dorms, but the Mother Superior came in and told us not to bother. It seems that Ivanha and Voras thought they weren't getting the best of the pledges, so they decided they wouldn't show up for the Ceremony. Without them, it couldn't take place.” Pointing to Kadar, she continued. “They're claiming that healing you was an example of how the pledges have been corrupted. If you ask me, it looks like the deities are getting closer and closer to war.”

Ashraf looked sideways at him. “How's Sulis doing today?” he asked slyly. Kadar had confided in him the problem he'd had with Sulis's feelings since she woke him.

“Furious. No, beyond furious. Absolutely livid,” Kadar said with a sigh.

Ashraf grinned. “I wouldn't want to be in her head right now.”

“Thanks,” Kadar muttered, settling on a crate beside him. This was the third recruiting meeting he'd been to with Ashraf and Farrah, and he was really just decoration. Ashraf and Farrah would point to him when they said they had a guide to the desert, and he'd give his spiel about the dangers and rewards on the path.

He watched Farrah as she wheedled and coaxed the Forsaken, who were alternately suspicious and hopeful. He watched Ashraf charm the women and inspire the men. He watched while, as usually happened, one doubter persisted in bringing up more and more fears until the group stood uncertainly, too afraid to commit. Kadar usually found it mildly irritating, but with Sulis's anger fueling him, he couldn't sit still.

“But we could get killed,” the stubborn man said. “They think of us as rats. If we move against them, they'll exterminate us.”

Kadar stood, anger making his muscles tense. “So you'd rather stay here and let them degrade you and kill you off one by one?” he asked tightly. He saw the man's surprise and nodded. “You know what happened to Farrah's sister, and you know it wasn't an isolated incident. You also know how many widows and children die of starvation when their breadwinner is murdered, and they are turned out of the only homes they have ever known. They are already exterminating you, little by little.” Kadar glared around the gathering. “Farrah says they recruit your boys, convincing them that they will gain honor back and have a better life in the deities' armies. When war comes between the deities, who will they send into battle first? You can stay here, hoping for safety, and watch your children be killed, either in their armies or by city dwellers who think you are nothing more than rats. You can lose your lives for nothing. Or you can risk your lives for a better future. For you and your children.” He paused and looked at Farrah, who looked back at him with a small, proud smile on her face. “There is no safety anymore, not for any of us. Now it is matter of choosing your own destiny or having it chosen for you.”

“There are thousands of us,” Mariah said. “How is there space for all of us? And what about jobs? How will we live if we do go? You make promises that seem too good to be true.”

Kadar looked over at Ashraf, who nodded and moved forward. “There is a large town, which used to hold thousands. It was abandoned after a plague hundreds of years ago, but healers have told me that plague is now extinct. It has been empty for quite a while, but the stone houses are in good shape, with just the roofs needing to be replaced. Your survival would rely more on fishing than farming, as the land is not very fertile. Four of the prominent clans have pledged boats and nets to help you.”

Kadar broke in. “It is not without risk. We know the routes, but we may be pursued. You can't hide the tracks of such a large number of migrants. Our hope is to persuade as many Forsaken as possible to begin traveling secretly, and soon. We have caravans willing to smuggle groups out disguised as our countrymen. If worse comes to worst, and the Forsaken have to flee en masse, it will be a hard, forced march. And if that were to happen in the summer, hundreds of your weak and elderly would die.”

Farrah picked up the argument. “Which is why we are asking for your help. If war comes, our ­people will suffer. They may try to flee to the desert without protection or help. They will all die. If we can get our most helpless out now, we will be better able to rally when the time comes, and we must flee. Why should we let those same deities who wrongly cast us down make us suffer even more while they fight their petty wars?”

Kadar sat back on the crates and watched Ashraf and Farrah trade back and forth persuasively until even the skeptics began reluctantly nodding. Eventually, the brown cloaks began trickling out the door, spacing out and moving in different directions so their numbers would not be noticed. No promises were made, as they all had to speak to their families, but Kadar felt certain that this group would be willing to spread the word.

Ashraf seemed to agree. “This was a good group,” he said to Kadar when the last Forsaken had trickled away. “It was smart of you to use Mariah's fears of war to get them moving. I've tried that before but couldn't get ­people to understand the urgency.”

“War is getting closer now,” Farrah said, coming over to lean against Kadar with a sigh, her head on his shoulder.

“Are you all right?” Ashraf asked her.

She nodded. “Just tired these days. Pregnancy is more exhausting than I'd thought it could be.” She straightened and shot him a defiant look. “I'm still ready to do anything the resistance needs done.”

Ashraf nodded, but he was looking at Kadar. Kadar looked away with a grimace. He hadn't planned on having a child—­not at this time of his life. But he loved Farrah, and he couldn't help but love any child she would have. It irritated him that he felt Ashraf was judging him poorly for the timing of it.

“I'm a little tired myself,” Kadar said defensively, putting an arm around Farrah. “I haven't been allowed out of the house since the accident. I'm still getting my energy back.”

“Have the two of you figured out what you will do when Farrah gives birth?” Ashraf asked.

Kadar's irritation shot up suddenly, and he wanted to throttle Ashraf. “I don't see where it is any of your business,” he growled. “I realize you aren't happy for us, but you can keep your opinions to yourself.”

Ashraf's eyebrows shot up, and he held his hands up, placating. “Whoa there, Kadar. I'm just trying to understand what we're looking at, long term. I am glad the two of you are together; I just need to know what to plan for four or five months down the road.”

Kadar rubbed his head, feeling foolish but still angry. He still wanted to throttle Ashraf and didn't trust himself to speak, even to apologize, so he walked away. He found a bale of hay and kicked it hard enough it slid across the floor.

“Is it Sulis?” Farrah asked him. She rolled her eyes and told Ashraf, “He's been this jumpy the past two days. I'm living with two nervous wrecks in one body.”

“I don't know,” Kadar said in exasperation. “I can't tell anymore what's me and what's her.”

“How long did they say you'd have each other's feelings?” Ashraf asked.

Farrah answered for him. “The Ranger didn't seem concerned because she expected Sulis to be taken by a deity this week. She assumed the deity would cut the connection between them, so Kadar would only feel her strongest emotions.”

Kadar laughed humorlessly. “Sadly, my sister feels everything strongly.”

“It is something about being female that makes everything they do forceful,” Ashraf said. “Ouch!” He clutched his arm as Farrah slugged him. “See what I mean?” Ashraf said in a loud whisper.

Kadar shrugged, not wanting to get between the two of them. His mind was still on the meeting. “What do you think will come of this?” he asked Ashraf. “They seemed more convinced than the last group. But what will they do?”