Deserted (9 page)

Kay was
already at the community centre when I arrived; his parents always did some family
celebration before the party so we couldn’t go together. I can’t help but laugh
at the irony that the one day we aren’t attached at the hip is the day we
really needed to be; our last day together and we hardly saw one another.

The community
hall was rather large, considering the size of our town. There was a wall that
split the room down the middle that had a small opening at the end that joined
the two rooms together. The right side was mainly used for celebrations like
today while the left side was usually vacant; it was meant more for casual
drinking or games and had little in the way of furniture. Both sides of the
hall, however, had gleaming hardwood floors and the townspeople were
distributed across
both sides
today, drinking and
dancing wherever their feet would happen to take them.

We had
entered into the right side, where my mother took to socializing with a family
she had slowly gotten to know over the years that my father was gone. You might
even call them friends. As my mother left me to my own devices I instantly
glanced around, looking for signs of Kay. I fidgeted in the dress my mother
lent me, not used to showing so much skin. I finally caught Kay’s eye from the
refreshment stand in the left-most room and I hurried over to him, checking my
gait every so often to ensure I wouldn’t trip in the high heels I was
encouraged to wear. I grumbled quietly to myself in frustration; if it was up
to me I would have worn sandals.

Kay
waved at me as he saw me draw near and called out to me. I could barely hear
him over the music and chatter around me though and so I shot him a questioning
glance.

“About
time you showed up,” he said when I finally reached ear shot next to him, “I’ve
been waiting for you all night.” He smirked and gave me a quick once-over.
“Nice dress; I thought you said you didn’t have anything?”

“Yeah,
well…my mom helped.” I nodded towards her, smiling at the warmth she seemed to
exude today before turning my attention back towards my friend.

“Probably
a good idea,” he said, glancing around the room, “I don’t think people would be
impressed if you showed up in jeans and a t-shirt.”

I
shrugged. “I don’t care what they think.”

Kay
laughed. “Yeah, I know you don’t.” We stared at each other a moment with goofy
smiles on both our faces.

“You
clean up nicely yourself,” I had said as I looked him over; the black suit that
our Provider offered him was a perfect fit.

He
laughed as he looked down at his wardrobe, “Heh, thanks; not very often we get
to celebrate, you know?” We weren’t standing there long when the music’s pace
slowed and the lights dimmed considerably. Kay turned towards me, offering me
his hand. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’d
love to.” I beamed at him as he escorted me onto the dance floor. I put my arms
around his neck as he rested his on my hips but he pulled at my dress with his
fingers uncomfortably.

“Is
something wrong?” I asked.

“…I
wanted to talk to you about something.” He replied as he averted his gaze, his
once smiling face now drawn in worry.

“That bad, huh?”
The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering
incessantly as I waited for him to gather the courage to say what was on his
mind.

 “…there’s
something I want to get for you.” He had said finally.

I rolled
my eyes. “You know I don’t want any gifts for Christmas or my birthday. I just
enjoy the time I spend with you.”

“No,
this is different. You turn eighteen soon and I wanted to get you something for
the journey we’ll be starting.”

I didn’t
mean to but I had laughed in his face. “Still expecting to find whales, are
you?”

He
smiled softly but shook his head. “Not whales…but I still believe there’s a
better place for us out there. A beautiful place that’s meant for us…I want to
take you there.” He had always seen so much in me; his faith was unwavering. I could
never have a bad day with Kay at my side.

“We
will
find it,” I had said at last, “maybe my dad has already found it…”

He
pulled me in closer and hugged me tight, comforting me like he always did when
I spoke about my father. “I’m sure he’s out there, waiting for us…”

I nodded
solemnly and leaned my head against his. “Soon enough we’ll leave here…and we
will
find him.”

Kay said
nothing and continued to hold me close as we danced but I kept thinking about
what exactly he had wanted, ruining what little time we had together as my mind
raced with ideas. In hindsight now I wish I had just savoured the moment.

“There’s
something I need to do…” he whispered to me, “I have to go.”

It took
me a moment to understand what he meant. “Go? You mean like…now?”

He ended
our hug and finally gazed into my eyes as he spoke. “Yes - now.” Our faces were
almost touching as he whispered his plans to me.

I was so
confused. “Why now? What’s going on Kay…where exactly are you going?”

“…into
the wasteland.”

My mouth
went dry.
“At night?
What do you need out there? Why
can’t you just stay?” I know I was pleading with him.

“My
parents would never let me go and I’ll have no other chance to sneak away, what
with all the functions going on for Christmas…and then your birthday will be here
and it’ll be too late.”

“Like I
said, I don’t need anything. Let’s just hang out like we always do while we
prepare for your eighteenth and then…our adventure.” I smiled sadly at him,
knowing his mind was already made up. I tightened my own grip around him.

“I need
to do this. You might not understand right now…but you will.” He grinned at me
and rested his forehead against mine. “I need to ask the Provider for
something…special. I’ve seen your father head off to meetings with the Mediator
at night and come back with gifts, so I plan to do the same.” He leaned back
and lifted my face to look at him. “And when I come back…I’ll have something
very important to tell you.”

I gazed
into his eyes for a few moments, scanning them for any sign of doubt. “When will
you be back?” I finally asked, the words dripping from my lips in a dejected
tone.

“A few
days…maybe a
week,
tops.” He sounded unsure.

“What
about my birthday?”

“I’ll be
back for it; I promise. Just tell my parents I’ll be staying with you for a
while; I don’t want them to know I’ve left.”

I still
had a knot in my stomach at the thought. “And if you miss Christmas?”

“I
won’t.”

We
continued to dance in silence and I pulled him in close. We embraced each other
as the song ended and when he started to let go I persisted in my pleas.
“Please don’t do this, Kay. Whatever you need to do, we will do it together
when we leave this place.”

“I have
to do this before then.” My hands slowly slid from around his neck and I
briefly held his in mine. I didn’t know what else to say; he already had this
planned out.

The rest
of our night was quieter than usual. I had so much to say but knew how
fruitless it would be, yet Kay seemed excited, almost
willing
the night
to go faster so he could finally leave. I don’t know why he thought it was a
good idea, and why he didn’t listen. Kay and my father were the only people I
could rely on in my life, and they both turned their back on me. How could he
be so callous?

I saw
Kay escape through the front door later that night, when everyone was
distracted by a speech that was being given for friends and family.

I should
have pleaded harder. And I should have held him longer.

*

I was so
mad at him at first. He knows what happened with my father; why would he do the
same thing to me? The entire town was against me when the weeks went by and it
became obvious that Kay was gone. I was blamed for everything. My mom tried to
defend me though, for what little that was worth. At home, though…she avoided
me; things were back to normal in that regard. As I had thought about Kay, I
went over our last conversation over and over again in my mind, scrutinizing
every last word we had said. He had wanted to speak to the Provider on his
own…because of my father? My dad spoke to the Mediator outside Provisioning
days? That couldn’t be right…

The
Provisioning was the day we would head out to the Meeting Place and request
goods; it happened once every fourteen sunrises. We had a few appointed people
to do it; usually people strong enough and charismatic enough to retrieve what
we needed from the Mediator. My father was one such person. I remember those
days well; as soon as the sun had inched her way into the sky my father would
come into my bedroom and kiss me gingerly on the forehead. “I’ll be back soon,”
he always said and he always was; I had taken those words for granted. He would
haul our cart out from storage near the corral and meet with the others in the
centre of town at the bulletin board. Once everyone had arrived with their own
carts and sacks, someone would take the notice from the board and they would
head up north, into the wasteland and wouldn’t be seen until two days later. It
was an arduous journey back with our goods; sometimes the wheels of our carts
would get stuck in the sand or our overflowing carts would topple over and
cause setbacks in the hasty retreat back home but it was always worth it to see
the villager’s faces light up when the items they requested were provided.
Nothing was off-limits with the Provisioning; you could ask for anything in the
world. Whether the Provider would acquiesce or not was another matter, though.

And
that’s just how it went; people would put their name on the piece of paper on
the bulletin board along with what they wanted and their desired quantity and
then we would head out into the wasteland every 2 weeks to hand the list over
to our Mediator. Sometimes our messengers came back with it and sometimes
not…but sometimes you would even get more than you asked for! Food and drink, however,
were never turned down; even if our source could not provide the right amount,
they always provided something.

           
Who are these ‘sources’, though? Is it one man, or many? I don’t know; no one
does. That’s why we even have a Mediator; to ensure that we never find out who
provides us these things but I’ll never understand why. Perhaps it was for
safety? The reason I even know all this was because I got to accompany the
adults on their journey once; me and Kay had finally turned twelve, the proper
age to learn about the rules of Provisioning and we volunteered to go.

It was
the first, and last, time we volunteered.

           
It took about a day to arrive at the Meeting Place where the Mediator was
already waiting for us. The Mediator was a man who donned robes the colour of
the earth with a face that was always obscured by the shadows of his hood. He
rarely spoke but when he did, he did so with a voice that demanded respect; he
was confident and exuded an air of authority that you could not ignore. He
would take our list and then leave, rarely saying a word to anyone as he
disappeared into the wasteland. I had tried to follow him that day; I thought
we were supposed to but someone held me back.

“You
would jeopardize our entire Provisioning if you do that, girl.” I had looked up
into the soft face of Richard Marley, his calloused hand resting precariously
on my shoulder.

“Why?” I
had asked.

“It’s
the Mediator’s business now. Following him would show great disrespect to the
entire purpose of Provisioning. They provide us with a means to live; the least
we can do is show them the privacy they ask for.”

I had
watched the robed figure slowly disappear into the sands of the wasteland.
“What happens now?”

“Now, we
wait.” Richard turned his attention towards the small commotion that was now in
full swing behind us, his red, curly hair bobbing incessantly in his movement.
“They’re setting up the tents now; you’ll be able to get off your feet soon
enough.” He smiled down at me and left to help the other adults as Kay and I
continued to watch the speck of a figure in the distance.

“What do
you think happens if someone actually followed him?” I had asked my friend, “Do
you think anyone has done it before?”

“Probably,”
Kay had replied, “how else would we know what happens if you do?”

“True…”
I trailed off and we watched the horizon until the tents were finally finished.
I remember how curious I was back then; my mind raced with ideas of where the
Mediator was going and what we would find if we had followed.

“You
should rest for a while…” my father’s voice was soft as he had come up behind
me, “we will start cooking supper soon enough. It’s been a long trek for the
two of you.”

I had
turned and beamed at him, excited that I had gotten to participate in adult
activities alongside my father. “But I’m not tired!”

He
smiled back. “Well maybe you’ll change your mind when you find how comfortable
the pillows and blankets are.” Even at that young of an age, I knew what my
father was insinuating; he wanted to discuss matters with the others that were
too old for my young ears. I had nodded and ducked into a tent with Kay right
behind me. Let them talk; me and Kay’s stories were a thousand times more
interesting than anything they had to talk about anyway.

Eventually
supper would be made over a roaring campfire as the night drew in around us. I
had cuddled up to my father quite tightly that night, my eyes scanning the
wasteland around us. It was far too quiet out there and when the sand kicked up
you couldn’t see anything around you; my young mind ran rampant with ideas of
who knows what lurking in the storms. I had sat at the campfire with the
others, my arms wrapped tightly around my father’s as we watched the flames
leap towards the dotted sky, causing elongated shadows of the men around me to
flicker and dance on the hard sand. The adults talked and laughed about things
I didn’t care for as Kay had sat closely beside me, trying to assuage my fears
with talks of epic adventures in sunny forests or beaches. He was always doing
that; even as a child. It’s funny the things that pass you by…until it’s too
late to properly appreciate them.

“The
Mediator will arrive in the morning; you two should get some rest.” My father
had yawned as he spoke and I restrained myself from doing the same; the heat of
a campfire had always made me drowsy. I nodded at him and had immediately
wandered my way into the closest tent with my father’s promise of joining me
shortly. I had collapsed into the heap of soft sheets and velvety pillows,
already about to nod off when I heard the pitter-patter of footsteps outside
the tent’s flaps.

“May I
come in?” Kay had poked his head inside the tent as I flopped over on the
pillows to look at him.

“Of course.”
I readjusted the mass of blankets beneath me
so Kay would have a comfortable place to sit and I gestured towards it.

He
stumbled his way inside; even at twelve he was an impressive height and often
fumbled over his own large feet because of it. I always stifled my laughter
when it happened, though, until I became used to the sight, as I had seen his
reaction when the other children mocked him. He was quite lanky back then and
his face would flush bright red when he faltered on his feet. When people
laughed, he would frown and become quite sullen for most of the day and it
would fall on me to brighten his spirits; much the same way he did for me at
the campfire, come to think of it.

Kay had
sat cross-legged on the sheets I had piled up for him and smiled at me. “You sure
you don’t want to continue our story? It was just getting to the good part!”

I rubbed
my eyes. “Not right now, Kay; I’m pretty tired.”

“Oh.” He
uttered quietly and he cast his gaze downward.

I had
propped myself up on my elbow and studied his disappointed demeanour. “You can
sleep in here with me though, if you like; just ‘
cuz
your parents aren’t here doesn’t mean you
gotta
be
alone.”

With
widened eyes he glanced up at me.
“Won’t be much room with
your dad in here.”

“He
won’t mind; you know he thinks of you like family, right?” I casually responded
as I stretched out on the pillows. Kays face lit up at my words, though they
meant little to me.

“He
does?” He eventually asked and I nodded curtly in response. Kay suddenly beamed
and leapt to his feet. “I’ll go get my stuff, then!” He clamoured and staggered
his way outside before I could respond. I had only had an inkling of it back
then but it was something I had grown accustomed to as I got older; Kay
hated
being alone.

*

“Wake
up; he’s here.”

My
father’s voice from outside the tent jerked me awake and I looked around
wide-eyed. Kay, it seemed, was already up and helping the adults take down the
tents; how he could be such an early-riser all the time, I’ll never know. I had
to untangle myself from the blankets that had enveloped me multiple times over
during the night and I crawled out of the tent, shielding my eyes from the now
bright sunlight that washed over the campsite. My father quickly helped me to
my feet and patted my wild hair frantically.

“You don’t
want to sleep through this, now.” He had said, unfolding my sleeves and
adjusting the hem of my pants. “You need to know procedure.”

I
yawned. “What does fixing my hair have to do with procedure?”

“It’s
out of respect; you don’t want to offend him, do you?”

I hadn’t
really understood what my appearance had to do with showing the Mediator
respect but if it mattered to my father,
then
it
mattered to me. I combed my fingers through my hair and tied it back tightly as
my father rushed towards a group of adults that were struggling to remove the
tents from their place in the sand. Everything had to be perfect for the
Mediator, it seemed, which had always rubbed me the wrong way; would they
really refuse us our goods because a tent was still standing? He knew full well
that we set up camp here; what difference did it make? I had shaken my head at
the absurdity of it all as I watched the cloaked figure slowly come into view
in the distance. There were others with him and one large, covered wagon that
was being dragged behind them. Kay had come up beside me to watch the Mediator
as well until all of the adults were finally there, waiting for the Mediator
with bated breath. He arrived with two other robed figures, one who appeared to
be a small boy. The boy had stayed near the back of the group and fidgeted with
his robes, hiding behind the others when he noticed us watching him. The
Mediator said nothing once again as he looked at us all in turn. He eventually
gestured towards the large cart and the adults quickly went to work, filling
their respective bags and carts with as much as they could carry. When the
Mediator’s cart had reached its end, I had noticed Richard scratch his head and
glance up at the Mediator in confusion.

“Where
are Anna’s shoes?”

The
Mediator did not even look at him as he replied. “The Provider did not deem
them necessary.”

“But she
has no shoes…her old ones are too small and hurt her feet!” Richard had started
but the Mediator quickly interjected.

“The
Provider said no.” The cloaked figure’s voice was loud and stern, causing
Richard to back up in surprise.

“Ah…alright.”
Richard stuttered in response and turned his
attention back towards our carts, helping to ensure everyone’s goods were
sturdy and packed tightly, just as my father was doing.