Desire: Big Bear Outlaw MC Romance Book 1 (6 page)

“
Didn
’
t I tell you not to sit on my bike that
way?
”
I mumbled through the kiss.
“
What happens if you
push it over or it falls over by itself? How will you pick it
up?
”

Madeline pulled away.
She shrugged and popped her gum
–
its delicious cherry flavor had left
an impression on my taste buds and my stomach started to
rumble.

“
Don
’
t worry so much the
‘
what
ifs
’
, Jack Hart,
”
she said lighting a cigarette.

Madeline liked to call me by my
full name when she was trying to tell me how the world was.
“
All we
have is the right here and now.
”

I rolled my eyes.
Madeline
’
s version of Buddhism was dangerous and fierce. She was a
lot of things I loved
–
cynical, unapologetic,
uncompromising
–
but those were also the same things that I
hated.

“
Someone
’
s staring at us,
”
Madeline said and pulled me
closer.

Our mouths opened and fought each
other for air. A few moments later, when I a full breath of air of
my own, I pulled away. I looked over to where she had pointed and
saw Emma
standing in the
doorway.

Our eyes met for a second, and she looked away. Emma
turned her head and started walking toward the other parking lot,
behind the tennis courts.

I wanted to run after Emma, but I
stopped myself. Instead, Madeline reached up to me again, and I
kissed her back. When she moved down to my neck, I looked up and
saw Emma
getting in her
car.

She didn
’
t look back once,
and I felt anger mixed with passion bubbling from somewhere within
me. I grabbed Madeline
’
s head tighter and
brought her closer. She laughed and kissed back, biting my lip.
Madeline was always down for whatever. Whenever I increased the
stakes, she took that as initiative and rose them even
higher.

I couldn
’
t admit it out loud,
but Madeline scared me. A lot. She was dangerous, and I felt myself
becoming more dangerous with her. But not the good kind. Sometimes,
the bad kind, the kind that made me question what the hell I was
doing and what I would do if I ever got caught.

Madeline hopped onto the back of my bike and spread
her arms wide. I got on, and she hugged me tightly.

“
One of these days, you
’
re gonna have to
teach me to ride, and you
’
ll sit in the
back,
”
she screamed into my ear after we took off.

Madeline never called it the bitch
seat, she found the phrase sexist. We had been together for almost
a month and the one and only time we ever fought was about a week
into our relationship when I referred to it as the bitch seat. She
took offense, got off the bike, and wouldn
’
t get back on until
she made it clear to me how offensive what I said was.

“
It
’
s degrading to say that, the seat just happens to be in the
back and used mainly by women. But not all women are bitches, and
I
’
m
not even sure that all men should be allowed to refer to women as
bitches. It
’
s a demeaning word. There
’
s not a reciprocal
word for a man and don
’
t say
‘
dick
’
because it
’
s not the same
thing
–
then it
’
s offensive and off-limits.
”

I never gave it much thought
before, but what she had said made sense. Calling a guy a
‘
bitch
’
was demeaning because it invoked certain power
relationships, which were a negative portrayal of women.

And what was an equivalent word
for a man? There were hardly any. Asshole, dick, none of these
measured up. The ones in power controlled language and that meant
that there weren
’
t as many bad things to call men as there were to call
women.

“
Who was that girl staring at you?
”
Madeline asked when
we pulled up to her house.

Her parents were both engineers and were never home
in the afternoons and her older sister worked at the library until
five. The house was all ours, and we took full advantage of it.

“
Oh, I don
’
t know,
”
I shrugged.

Madeline wasn
’
t the jealous type.
Still, I didn
’
t know why I wanted to keep the existence of Emma
secret from her.

“
Yes, you do,
”
she took off her helmet.

At first, I used to give her mine and ride without
one, but she had insisted on getting her own. She pointed her
finger at me and smiled, her black nail polish glistened in the
sun.

“
Emma Crawford,
”
I said.
“
She
’
s my English peer partner.
”

“
She
’
s cute,
”
Madeline laughed and tossed her hair, digging
into her hobo bag for keys.
“
Oh you think so, do
you?
”
I said, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the back of
her neck. Madeline could barely find the keys in her bag on a
normal day
–
the bag had no compartments and the keys inevitably
fell to the bottom, where they were impossible to reach.

“
Ah-ha,
”
she pulled out the enormous key chain with what looked
like three hundred different key chains.

Before putting the key into the
door, she kissed me back.
“
Yeah, I
do.
”

I ran my fingers through her short
hair and pulled down the strap of her tank top.
“
Why, you like
her?
”

“
No, not at all,
”
I said too quickly and pulled
away.

She furrowed her brows and looked at me.

We had been joking and laughing, but now I went too
far.

She had struck a chord.

“
Oh, don
’
t freak out,
”
Madeline laughed.
“
I
don
’
t care.
”

“
You don
’
t?
”

“
No, not really.
”

“
Even though we
’
re together,
exclusively.
”

“
She
’
s hot and probably nice. I can see why you like
her,
”
she laughed, but I still didn
’
t believe
her.

“
Relax, Jack. I
’
m not the thought
police. I like other people too. Everyone does.
We
’
re all people, aren
’
t
we?
”

I forced a smile and laughed it off. I needed to
change the subject, but thankfully, she changed it for us.

She kissed me
, and I picked her up and carried her up the
stairs to her room. Madeline was small, a pixie, she was barely
five feet tall and weighed less than 100 pounds. We fell into bed
together, kissing more sloppily this time. Her lips covered mine
and mine fought back, trying to regain some of the ground that they
had lost. I was just about to pull up her tank top, but Madeline
pushed me away and reached into her backpack.

She pulled out a cigarette and lit
it. She opened the window and pushed her butt out toward my face as
she breathed out into the blue sky outside. Her body looked good
enough to eat and with the cigarette in her hand, her slight body
gained some curves and textures
–
the kind that made me want to take
off all of her clothes. Still something was off.

I pressed down hard on my jeans trying to calm
myself down and buy some time. Madeline wanted me, and I wanted her
and still thoughts of Emma flooded in.

Madeline put out her cigarette on her window sill
and tossed the butt into the trash. She then pulled my hands from
my crotch and put them around her, as she climbed into my lap. Now
that the cigarette was out of her mouth, its profile no longer
elongated her fingers and added curves to her body, and all that
lingered was its stale smell.

She ran her finger down my lip, pulling my upper lip
away from my top lip. She was sexy and arousing, yet that sweet
stench permeated my pores and made me want to gag.

I pulled her hands away from my
mouth and pulled up her tank top. Her small breasts stood exposed
and erect right in front my face. I placed one in my mouth and
licked around it until she let her shoulders relax and threw her
head back. I liked kissing her chest. Her breasts
weren
’
t big or voluptuous, but they were all mine. I placed
Madeline
’
s entire left breast into my mouth, and she purred when I
pressed on her nipple with my teeth ever so lightly.

Madeline and I have been together
for a little over a month
–
my longest relationship so
far
–
but this only our third time together. She pulled off my
shirt and unbuttoned my jeans while I scraped off one sock and then
other with the opposite foot. When we were both completely naked,
she crawled under the covers and wrapped them around me as well.
Laying on top of her, I kissed her again
–
slowly and
meticulously this time, trying to express everything that I could
not say out loud.

Madeline said that she had sex
with her ex before, but she was my first everything. I
wouldn
’
t admit it
–
and didn
’
t admit it even to
her
–
but I had never even kissed a girl before her. Some guys
wouldn
’
t like to be less experienced than their girlfriend, but I
didn
’
t mind.

Still, though she had said that
she had sex before we did it for the first time, I
didn
’
t quite believe her. I had my doubts because of what she
had said and how she had said it. There was a strange confidence in
it, confidence mixed with insecurity. But I didn
’
t push it. If she
said she had, then she had, I didn
’
t care. Besides, now
that we had done it a few times, she was not a virgin
anymore.

With the covers enclosing us in a
cocoon, I let my fingers run up her thigh and in between her legs.
The moistness in between her legs welcomed me, and I let myself in.
I wanted to kiss her there more than anything, but I
didn
’
t dare bring it up again. She had kissed me for a bit, and
without much pleasure, it seemed, but she never let me do it back
to her. I wanted to kiss her, to lick her, to put my face and
tongue deep into her, but she never let me.

“
Not yet,
”
she would say.
“
I
’
m not
ready.
”

I had tried even before we had sex
for the first time, but this time I didn
’
t bother. Instead, I
pulled out my fingers and felt her hips open wide for my legs and
went inside.

She cried,
“
agh,
”
beneath me and bit my shoulder lightly. I pushed in
and out and with each thrust, she bit me a little
harder.

A couple of more thrusts, a couple of more sighs of
pleasure. We were moving in rhythm, along with a song of our
making. And then suddenly, the sound of crashing glass broke
through our song.

To be
continued
…

Crave: Big Bear MC Romance
2

http://amzn.to/1J7KTrt

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