Desired Affliction (9 page)

Kole had really ruined that for me. Now that I had him…no
one else seemed to measure up. I found myself comparing every man to him…his
height, his build…his dreamy eyes and perfect lips. The way his chest felt
under my hands and his broad shoulders.

“You want me to bite that lip for you sugar?” I hadn’t
realized I was biting my lower lip. My attention had wondered off thinking
about Kole and when the man next to me spoke it gave me chills. I wrinkled up
my nose at him, “Actually I’m sorry I have a boyfriend…I’m not interested and I
can buy my own drinks.” I turned back to the guy behind the bar and gave him
the twenty.

I was hoping that this guy would get the hint and leave
but he just sat there looking at me with a grin on his face. I could feel his
eyes on me, “Well a sexy girl like you shouldn’t be alone in a bar. Your
boyfriend should be here with you. What kind a man lets a pretty thing like you
walked around alone at night?” This idea was such a big mistake. I was getting
nervous and I couldn’t even bring myself to drink what I had the in front of
me. I could feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

I got up quickly from the bar and walked to the door
holding my keys tightly in my hand. I basically ran to my car. Once I was
safely inside with the doors locked I answered on the last ring.

‘Hello’
I tried to appear calm. I had a feeling
I was failing miserably.

‘Lex are you
okay you sound out of breath?’
I
had rushed out of the bar so quickly I hadn’t even looked at my phone to see
who was calling. Megan’s voice was a welcomed sound. I couldn’t hold back the
sobs. I knew Megan would allow me to let it all out and I did.

I told her about the texts from Matt and how it made me
feel. I told her about the bar and the creepy guy. After I was able to stop
crying she told me how stupid that was and yeah I had to agree. I knew I would
have tell Kole and I was pretty sure he would be pissed but I didn’t want to
hide it and then him find out from someone else. I felt like such an idiot. I
never cared before but now…it just felt wrong to be in that bar around that
guy.

Who was I kidding I was nasty.

I needed a shower and I just needed to crawl into bed and
forced myself to sleep.

(Kole)

It had been a long day and I was so ready to call Lexi. I
just wanted to hear her voice and make sure she was okay before I fell asleep.
Something was off earlier and I hated not knowing. Maybe hanging out all day
with Megan helped her mood. After I took a quick shower I crawled into bed and
dialed her number…

‘Hi’

Either I woke her up or she was crying.

‘Hey baby what’s wrong? Your moods been off today…your
starting to freak me out?’
I heard her take in a deep breath.

‘I just had a bad day…I’m fine Kole. Don’t
worry…please.’
A bad day? She wasn’t telling me everything. I hated
when she closed herself off. I was slowly learning her and what made up her
moods.

‘Lexi it’s kind of impossible for me not to worry
about you. I am over four hours away and I know something is bothering you.
What did you and Megan do today?’
The long pause before she answered
had my mind racing.

‘Um…Megan’s not here…she went home with Radley.’

What the fuck…she left Lexi by herself on Thanksgiving.
If I knew Megan wasn’t going to be with her than I would have forced her to
come with me.

‘I thought she was staying home with
you’
I
was trying to hold in the fact that I was pissed and frustrated
.
I just
wanted to get into my car and drive back to school to drag her home with
me…kicking and screaming I didn’t give a shit. I felt like a total dick that my
girlfriend was stuck in a dorm by herself all weekend.
‘No wonder you had
a bad day baby. I hate that you are there by yourself. I should just come
home.’

‘No…don’t. I am fine I promise. Kole your mother
was looking forward to spending time with you. Don’t ruin that for her because
of me. I’m okay I am just going to hide out in my pajama’s for the next three
days and eat junk food and watch movies.’

Nothing that she just said made me feel any better about
her being there and me being here.

‘So what did y
ou do today since you were all
alone? You just sound so depressed Lex…I fucking hate it.’
I imagined her
in her sweats bundled up in her blankets watching some romantic comedy.

‘Nothing really’
Well I expected more of a
conversation from that but…nothing.

Lexi and I spent the next hour talking I nearly had to
force her to say more than one word answers. I knew she was holding back
because she sounded so distant and quiet.

I made it a point to call her every morning and night for
the next three days and it appeared she was beginning to sound a little less
depressed. Sunday morning came and I was so ready to see her. After I said
goodbye to my parents and made a quick stop at that gas station and started my
trip back to my girl.

Pulling into town I went straight for the dorm. I wanted
to see her so badly. I knocked lightly and I could hear her moving around in
the room. I knew she was looking out the peep hole. The second the door came
open I rushed for her. I placed my hands on either side of her face and pulled
her lips to mine. The feeling of her pressed tightly against me and our lips
moving together just confirmed what I had already figured out…Lexi had all of
me completely and she didn’t even know it. I felt her run her tongue along mine
and my pants grew tighter. I wanted her so badly…I had missed the feel of her
and I just needed this closeness. “Baby I missed you so much…I need you, god I
want you Lexi,” she whimpered against my lips as I flipped my tongue against
hers.

She had told me once before that she loved the feel of my
tongue on her. Damn when she told me that…it was so fucking sexy. I loved when
she told me what she wanted. “Do you want me Lex?” I could tell she did I just
want to hear her say it. I slowly ran my tongue down her neck and kissed along
her shoulder. “Yes I want you…I want you Kole,” that was all I needed. Our
clothes began to hit the floor while we stumbled around feeling each other like
it was the first time. It had only been four days since we had sex but it felt
like a lifetime. Her body was so amazing and she fit within my hands
perfectly…like she may just for me. I knew her weak spots the ones that drove
her wild. I knew what she liked and what she loved…I wanted to taste her and
feel her. Every inch of her body was soft and sweet.

Hearing my name come from her sweet lips right before she
came had to be the hottest thing ever and almost finished me off every time. I
had to fight it to make it last. The minute I slid into her she moaned out in
pleasure. Damn my girl was fucking sexy.  I loved the feel of her and the
way I felt with her. I wanted to make this last but I knew that I couldn’t hold
out long. She felt too damn good wrapped around me to hold back much longer.
Her tongue danced with mine and when she sucked lightly on my lower lip I
thought I was going lose it right then, “Fuck baby…you feel so good Lex.”

I knew she was close because I could feel her legs shake.
I couldn’t hold back when I felt her come…she was milking me and I had no
control left. I exploded deep inside of her. It took a few deep breaths to slow
my heart down. I let my body rest onto hers and brushed her hair from her face.
I watched her eyes flutter and I felt her hand slowly trailing across my
shoulder. Looking at her I knew at that moment that I was falling for her. I
wanted to tell her how I felt but I held back as I watched her. She still
seemed distant and I hated the unsure feeling it was causing within me.

(Lexi)

I was fighting the tears
.
I was afraid to look
into Kole’s eyes because I knew they would fall. I felt horrible about going to
that bar and I knew I needed to tell him but I was scared of his reaction. I
missed him so much. I always told myself that I would never allow myself to
rely on a man or to trust one after Matt but I had caved…Kole was amazing and I
knew that what I felt for him was real. I was so scared to tell him I was weak
while he was gone no I didn’t cheat but I put myself in that situation and I
felt sick just thinking about it.

Lying here with him as he held me made me feel even
worse. I knew if he had been here I would never had gone to the bar. It wasn’t
his fault I shouldn’t need a babysitter, “Lexi I can hear you thinking…what’s
going on. Did I do something wrong?” When I looked at him with surprise the
tears fell. How could he feel like he did anything wrong he has been more than
perfect. He traced away a fallen tear from my cheek and continued to watch me
with concern etched on his face. God he was beautiful…such a bad boy on the
outside but sweet beyond belief on the inside.

Here it goes because he deserves to know from me and no
one else. “Kole I need to talk to you,” His face fell slightly and I wanted to
kiss him and tell him I loved him right then. I was so scared I was about to
push him away. “Why do I get this feeling that I am not going to like what you
need to tell me?” He sat up and started pulling on his clothes and I felt my
chest tighten. NO! I wanted to grab his clothes and hide them so he couldn’t
leave…I wanted him to be forced to listen.

“I never said you had to get dressed Kole,” he pulled his
shirt over his head and looked at me. “I can already tell that I’m not going to
like what you have to say so I just thought I better be prepared.” He was
acting so closed off. The cocky arrogant side of Kole was back. My stomach was
in knots and I felt sick. I reached over and grabbed a pair of sweats and a
t-shirt from the chair next to the bed. He watched as I got dressed. Once I was
done I wasn’t sure how to start. “So let’s have…what’s going on?” I turned to
look at him and he seemed so cold standing with his arms crossed and his leg
bouncing.

“Will you listen before you freak out…let me explain,” He
never spoke he just nodded his head in response. I looked down at my hands in
my lap as I nervously began pulling on a loose string. “When you left Wednesday
I started feeling depressed and lonely. I came back to my room and tried
everything I could think of to stop my mind from running like crazy. Matt text
me again,” I stole a quick glance at him and he was tensed and his jaw was
twitching at the mention of Matt. “He said a lot of cruel things that I
basically already feel about me and I let it get to me. I just wanted to numb
it and make it stop so…I got dressed and I went to a bar.” I nervously bit at
my lip, “I bought some shots and a beer…this guy sat down next to me and
started flirting. I started,” Kole didn’t let me finish he got so angry. I
jumped at the sound of his voice, “You fucking cheated on me didn’t you. You
fucked some guy you met in a bar and then you let me show up here tonight and
we had sex after you fucking spread your legs for some stranger. WHAT THE FUCK
LEXI! Do you fucking realize how fuck up this is?”

 He reached for his keys and I knew I needed to say
something. I needed to tell him I didn’t cheat that I ran out of the bar
without even drinking. I was in shock by the way he was yelling at me and what
he saying. My lip trembled as he reached for the door handle, “Kole it’s not
what you think let me explain.” He turned glaring at me, “Fuck you Lexi…there
is nothing to explain because this right here you and me…it’s done. It’s
fucking over now you can go back to being a fucking slut.” He slammed the door
behind him and the picture on the wall next to it vibrated and then fell to the
floor.

He just walked out. Kole called me a slut and broke up
with me. I just wanted to be honest with him…I wanted him to know that I never
wanted to go back to a bar again. This last time terrified me and I knew I
wouldn’t go there again. Kole didn’t even let me explain…he assumed the worst
and now I know what he really thinks of me. I felt like my heart shattered…I
felt like I couldn’t breathe.

(Kole)

I couldn’t see straight I was so fucking pissed. I wanted
to fucking punch something or someone. Lexi broke my heart how the hell could
she just go to a bar and get drunk then let some strange man put his hands all
over her. I thought we had more than that. I couldn’t look at her…right now if
I did I wasn’t sure what would fly out of my mouth. I felt bad that I flipped
out on her she looked scared and that alone was hard to swallow. I hated that I
scared her it was taking everything I had not to turn around and go back to
her. To hold her and tell her I was so sorry for scaring her. How could I do
that though after what she did to us?

I kept playing it all back in my head, everything she
said. This was exactly why I didn’t do the girlfriend thing. Not commitments…no
worries. Why the fuck did I think Lexi would be worth it…she’s damaged. Well
she succeeded in fucking me over and I knew damn well that sure as hell would
not happen again. Fuck her…

I hit the bottles hard once I got home. I lined up the
shots until I was seeing double. The guys were having a little after holiday
get together and I had every intention of getting fucking lit and getting laid…

The front door came open and when I saw Hope I knew it
was a done deal, “Hope get your fucking hot ass over here and sit down.” Her
face lit up when I patted my hands on my lap indicating that I wanted her to
sit there. I had to force myself to push Lexi’s face out of my mind. She fucked
someone else I had to remember that. I ran my hand up Hopes thigh and gripped
her hip. I looked up at her and she seemed a little surprised. “Where’s your
girlfriend Kole?” I ran my hand up into her hair and pulled her face closer to
mine, “I don’t have a fucking girlfriend Hope but if you want me too…I can call
you my girlfriend while I’m fucking you,” I didn’t wait for her to answer I
pulled her mouth to mine.