Desires (19 page)

She felt her arm being grabbed. She turned to see Dan, who
was indicating her to follow him out the room. She did so, feeling almost
disappointed. She told herself she was disgusted by the sex show, but she
couldn’t help feeling curious also, and a little turned on.

Dan let the double doors close behind them. She followed
him down a corridor, past a room with an opened door. A voile curtain covered
the doorway and moaning came from within. Stacie stopped. Dan continued to walk
ahead of her down the corridor. Curiosity struck Stacie. Dan had no idea she
had stopped. She moved closer to the voile and moved it aside to see naked bodies
scattered all over what looked like a huge inflatable mattress covered with
piles of scattered cushions. The mattress virtually filled the room. They were
penetrating and being penetrated indiscriminately…
an orgy!
Stacie’s eyes widened in disbelief. Quickly, she sped up to
return to Dan.

On the way, she heard more music coming from behind
another door. Stacie stopped at another door, unsure whether she should open
this one after the shock of the last. Curiosity won out. She opened the door to
see a room containing tables and chairs with both men and women watching
strippers on a small stage. Dan turned around to look at her as she shut this
door, shaking her head. Stacie looked at him with a reluctant grin, wondering
what kind of place this really was.

Dan waited for Stacie outside the door to the
conservatory she had seen before. When they went in, Stacie saw the musical
note-shaped chairs she had seen before were now arranged in small groups around
tables set for eating. The lighting was dimmed and small candles gave the room
a cosy feel. The conservatory, or restaurant, as it was now arranged, was
decorated in fetching colours, dark purple wallpaper beneath the windows,
patterned with large silver leaves. A few lights shaped as women’s
basques
hung from the ceiling. Stacie noticed a painting of
chandeliers and pianos hanging behind the small bar.

Several couples were sitting at the tables eating, and
other people stood at the bar, either ignoring or blatantly watching the antics
of the other people in the room. There was one couple openly having sex in a
corner, and a woman’s naked bottom poked out from underneath another table. She
was clearly giving a blowjob to the clothed man at the table who was fondling
the breasts of another woman, also naked, who sat next to him.

“Drink?” Dan said, walking over to the bar.

“Just lemonade,” Stacie said, following him. She’d had
enough wine for now. The bartender passed her and Dan their drinks and then he
and Dan chatted while Stacie stared round the room, feeling faintly disgusted. A
woman—clothed—was playing the large piano. Stacie wondered how she could stand
it, but she was probably used to it. The couple having sex began to cry out as
they reached their climaxes. Stacie tried her hardest not to stare too much,
but surely they shouldn’t be doing something like that while people were trying
to enjoy their meals.

Two loud girls came hurtling through the doors, dancing
and singing. One girl was tall, skinny and pretty, wearing a revealing top which
barely covered her breasts and a skirt which was more like a belt. The second girl
was shorter with curly hair. Her very large breasts plunged out of the top of her
very tiny dress. The thin girl pulled the other girl’s dress down and started
to grab her breasts. The curly-haired girl pushed the other into the corner and
raised the girl’s brief skirt.
Curlytop
ran her hand
up Skinny’s thigh and pulled up her skirt, showing the room that she wasn’t
wearing any underwear. The shorter girl dropped to her knees and started to
lick her out. Stacie turned her head, she did not want to watch the two girls
having sex with one another.

“Still want that air?” Dan asked. Stacie nodded. She took
one more curious look at the girls and felt sick to her stomach.

Stacie followed Dan back out of the room. They walked
down the corridor and Stacie spotted yet another couple having sex up against
the wall. She wondered if there was anywhere she could look without seeing
people having sex?

They came out at the back of the building. The cold air
hit her, sending shivers down her spine. She hadn’t quite expected it to be quite
so cold, but she needed air. She followed Dan onto the patio, where a few
people stood smoking under the heaters. Stacie expected Dan to pull a cigarette
out and have a smoke—that would have put her completely off him. But he just continued
sipping his drink.

They stood under the heater for a while. Dan was
uncharacteristically quiet. Stacie was frozen, covered in goosebumps despite
the patio heaters. She stood as close to Dan as she could, trying to get some
of his body heat. She wished he would hold her close. Stacie glanced into the
garden seeing two men spit roasting a girl on a bench. Even in this damn
freezing cold weather they couldn’t control themselves.

She turned away, looking at a wall while taking a few
sips of her lemonade.

“Dan! How you doing, mate?” Stacie heard a male voice
say. She turned around to see a man wearing a smart suit approaching. He was with
a woman wearing a blue sequinned dress, looking far too elegant and pretty for
a place like this.

“I’m great, and you?” Dan said. The two men shook hands and
Dan gave the woman a kiss on the cheek while the man planted a kiss on Stacie’s
right cheek.

“Wow, you’re beautiful, babe. What a sexy girl, Dan.”

“Yeah she’s not bad,” he said, laughing.

“What you been up to, or shouldn’t I really be asking?”

Embarrassed and uncomfortable, Stacie pasted on a fake
smile as the men talked. The man pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up and
began dragging on the fag.

“What you up to now?” the man asked.

“We’re just getting a little air,” Dan said.

“You going back into any of the rooms?”

Stacie was disgusted. She certainly wasn’t going
anywhere in those rooms. The thought that these people thought she was here for
that kind of behaviour appalled her.

“No, we’re not going to be doing that,” Dan said.

“Well, do you fancy getting together with us? We could
have our own little fun.” The man waggled his eyebrows up and down at Stacie
and grinned at her breasts.

Horrified, Stacie turned and ran back into the building.
She could hear Dan calling her name behind her. Stacie kept running. She dashed
down the corridor and somehow took a wrong turn. She opened door after door,
then found herself in the night club room by the stage. She felt a surge of
relief. If she could only get to the other side of the room, the double doors
would bring her out to the reception area, and then she could get back to their
room, to safety. But the room seemed to be wall-to-wall with people. She began to
excuse-me
her way through the crush, but
they ignored her. She was knocked about and pressed against bodies.

Head down, elbows out, she barged through. She had to
get away from all this sex. Was there no one here who could talk or think about
anything other than sex? Stacie charged her way through the crowd. Hands
grabbed her bottom and her breasts. She felt sick—he crowd seemed never-ending.

She’d never been claustrophobic, but the horde was stifling.
She’d managed to make her way to the dance floor when a big drunken giant of a
man staggered against her and knocked her off balance. Arms flailing, she tried
to grab onto him to stay upright, but he took it as an advance, and turned
around, his gaze dragging down her body, then up again, landing on her breasts.

“Well, hello!” he slurred, reaching out to pull her
close.

Stacie shrieked and took a lurching step back, falling
to the floor. A shoe stood on her hand and she cried out in pain.

“Wait,” the big man said, holding a hand out to her, but
she scuttled away on her hands and knees, landing up against a table and chairs
purely by chance. Sobbing, she managed to pull herself to upright again,
cradling her painful hand with the other. Over the heads of the mob, she saw
the double doors. The crowd thinned briefly and she charged for them. She
dashed through, to be confronted by yet another large group of people filling the
hall and the reception area. Stacie stared at the stairs where people sat with
tongues down each other’s throats. She thought quickly…scanning the area,
thinking fast…the main front door! She shoved her way through, hearing people
behind her calling her names. She ignored them. Her stomach was in knots, and
her chest felt like she was being suffocated.

She could hear her name being called out, but she didn’t
bother to stop, keeping her mind on her target, the front door. Stacie grabbed
the door handle and opened the large heavy door. The cold clean air hit her
immediately, and she took a deep breath, feeling it fill her lungs, displacing
the tainted air of the club.

Stacie closed the door behind her and just stood for a
moment, ready to drop. Her body was drenched with sweat and her breath came in
heaves. She took the few steps across the porch and sat on the top step,
staring at the car park. At least here she wouldn’t have to see anyone having
sex. That kind of behaviour wasn't allowed outside the main door. The cold air brought
her goosebumps back. She wiped away her tears and took a few moments to think.

Visions of the rooms and the people stalked her. Why did
those people behave in that manner? Sex should be something beautiful and
private between a couple. These people made it into some kind of sport or
sordid entertainment.

A few tears escaped when she thought about Dan,
visualising his face, reliving her experiences with him. He was a good looking
guy, who seemed intelligent. How could he could blank out the intimacies of sex
and keep it professional? But then, she considered, when Graham treated her
like meat, didn’t she do something similar, just blank it out. Maybe that was how
Dan coped.

Stacie raised her head, and stared out at the bleak
wintry landscape. She shivered, but had no desire to re-enter the building. She
needed to clear her head, gather her thoughts, and give the reception area time
to be cleared up of bodies.

She heard the slight noise of the door opening behind
her. “Stacie?” A woman’s voice spoke. Stacie wasn't sure whether to be relieved
or disappointed than it wasn't Dan that had followed her out.

Stacie turned to see one of the receptionists coming to
sit down alongside her. “Are you all right?”

Stacie replied with silence, unsure how to answer the
question.

“What happened? Dan said you stormed off and doesn’t
understand why.”

“I just couldn’t cope,” she answered, looking over at
the car park.

“What couldn’t you cope with?”

“Everywhere I looked, there were people having sex.”

“But that is what Desires is all about. People come here
to explore their fantasies with no strings attached.”

She paused, as if to give Stacie a chance to answer.
When she was met with only silence, she went on.

“We all enjoy different things, whether it’s craftwork,
reading, sports, or sex. Some people never have the opportunities that Desires
offers. We’re all individuals and live life differently. It doesn’t make anyone
bad, Stacie. Desires is very professional, nothing happens without anyone’s say
so.”

The woman paused again. Stacie’s mind whirled with
thoughts. What the woman was saying went against every moral fibre of Stacie’s
upbringing. She seemed to be saying that what went on in there was okay, so
long as it was agreed to.

“Look Stacie, Desires is all about fantasies and sex,
whether it’s love-making, bondage, play or just a damn good night out. I’m not
saying you have to change your life or ideas, we all have our own opinions
whether you agree or disagree. But that’s what Desires is.”

Stacie understood what she was saying. Whether Stacie
wished to take Desires’ open-minded view or not, was another matter. If everyone
was entitled to their own opinions, surely she was too. People having sex with
strangers, having sex in public, openly displayed their nakedness and being
proud of their open-mindedness! Stacie had been brought up to respect herself
and love the person she was. But wasn't that the problem? She wouldn’t be at
the club if she loved herself. Stacie didn’t like the person she saw in the
mirror at all. A woman who ran around all day, working, not spending any time
on herself, needing to decide where her life was going.

“Are you not freezing out here?”

“Yes I am. I just needed to get some air, where I didn’t
feel I was going to bump into people having sex everywhere.”

“I understand what you mean, it can be a bit in your
face. Friday and Saturday nights are always the busiest though. If you come
during the week, it’s a whole different place. It’s the same for everyone, work
during the week, play at weekends.”

Stacie sat and stared at the cars, seeing hers, debating
whether to leave or not. But then there was Dan.

“Shall we head back inside?” the woman said.

“I don’t know. Is it still busy in there?”

“I’ll have a look. It should have quietened down now.
We’d just had a couple of parties arrive at once when you came through.” She
got up and opened the door. “There are still a few people, but it’s not as bad
as it was,” she reported.