Destined to Change (2 page)

“No Declan I LOVE it. It’s beautiful and…” I couldn’t help myself, I kissed him. Hard.

From that moment on we were completely inseparable. We always knew we would end up together, but when it happened it was scary and amazing all wrapped up into one.

One Year Later

I was so excited to be turning sixteen years old. I was practically an adult now. Not only was it Declan and my birthday, it was also our one year anniversary. My mom and Aunt Louise held our annual joint birthday bash at the American Legion building last night. Tonight was also planned, Emma and Eric were throwing a huge bonfire party for me and Declan at the pond where we had our first kiss.

“This party is going to be
insane
!” Eric screamed at us when we pulled up. Declan had his arm around me and was squeezing me tight. I loved this gorgeous guy. He was my world and I was his and tonight was
the
night. Declan didn’t know yet and he had never pressured me but I planned on giving myself to him tonight. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate our birthday.

The party had been going on for hours and the beer was flowing. We’d seen a couple of fights and at least one girl threw up out by the pond.
Good times
. I had been trying all night to get the courage up to pull Declan aside and ask him to take me to his house. His parents were out of town at the big annual cattle sale that weekend and we would have the whole house to ourselves. I told my parents that I would be spending the night with Emma, and of course, she corroborated my story.

I walked up behind Declan and placed my arms around his neck and started kissing him below his ear. Then I whispered, “Are you about ready to get out of here?”

And with that my gorgeous boyfriend said in his sexy southern drawl, “Yes, ma’am.” We hopped into his truck and started driving toward his house.

When we pulled onto the dirt road that lead to his house, I reached over and ran my hand along his jaw.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Yeah, baby, everything’s fine. I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you for my boyfriend. I love you, Dec.”

I thought that might scare him, I had never said it out loud before. Instead, he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes shining in the moonlight and said, “I love you too, with all of my heart, Lor, forever.” Those words did it. They literally melted my heart. This was it. He was mine, and I was his. After tonight, we would be even more connected to one another.

That long winding, tree lined drive back to his house had never seemed so long. Uncle Max and Aunt Louise had a beautiful home. It was a little more contemporary than my parent’s house. It was grey brick and there was a huge porch all along the front of the house. They had built this house when Declan was a baby, after a fire took the old farmhouse. They lost most of their possessions, but everyone walked away without incident. Uncle Max always said he was just happy they hadn’t been home at the time and that no one had been hurt.

When we walked into his house, we immediately started upstairs to Declan’s room. As we walked upstairs, Declan held my hand. I was so engrossed with the pictures of us that lined the stairway. Aunt Louise loved to take pictures of us. Tons of them were displayed in that stairway. We were smiling in every picture. They made me realize how happy Declan and I were going to be for the rest of our lives. I was going to marry this man, have babies with him, and someday we would sit out on that big front porch and hold hands as we rocked in our rocking chairs and watched our grandkids play. All of these thoughts just solidified my decision to give myself to Declan tonight.

Declan and I had spent lots of time in his room alone. His parents totally trusted us. Besides that, they expected us to spend the rest of our lives together, so they didn’t think a few stolen kisses in his bedroom were inappropriate. I honestly didn’t think Declan had any idea of what I had planned tonight.

When we got upstairs, all of that confidence I felt in the stairway about our future disappeared, as the nerves kicked in.  As we stood beside the bed looking at each other, I was almost shaking. Then I mumbled to myself, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Declan said, “Do what, sweetheart?” I then realized I had made that comment out loud. “You know I don’t expect us to do anything but sleep, Lor. I may steal a few kisses. I mean, I am a guy, but I would never ask you to do anything else, unless…? Do you want to do something
else,
Lor?”

I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even look up at him. I thought to myself
come on Loralei...pull it together! This gorgeous, amazing guy loves you and you are going to spend forever with him. This is just one night...you can do this!
My personal pep talk made me a little more confident. I slowly took a step toward Declan, placed my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. I was so scared…I was surprised I didn’t miss his mouth.

Our tongues were dancing and our hands were exploring each other. The kiss was amazing. It was like we both knew tonight was going to be different. We had made out every day, sometimes several times a day, for a year. This just felt different. The kiss seemed to last forever.

Before I knew it, I was unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it down his arms. When I finally got it off of him, I was pretty nervous. I threw it on the floor near the foot of the bed. Then, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and started to pull it over my head when Declan grabbed my hands and stopped me. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I was pretty new to this, but so was he. I couldn’t understand why he was stopping.

Declan looked down at where our hands were intertwined along the hem of my shirt. He lifted my left hand in his right and rubbed it over my jaw. He let go of my other hand and used his to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Then, he released my hands and very slowly pulled my shirt over my head. I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest to cover my breasts when I realized they were barely covered by my white lacey bra.

Now, I had been nervous, but at this moment, I realized I was plum scared to death. This was really happening, and I had started it. What if I disappointed him? What if I didn’t do it right? What if he decided after we did it that he didn’t want to be with me anymore? All of these thoughts were completely freaking me out, but then I looked up. Declan was looking at me with this look. His eyes were sparkling and he was smiling.  His look said everything I needed to hear. It told me that he loved me, it told me that this was going to perfect, and most importantly it told me that this was just the beginning of us.

All of my fear went away as I unhooked his belt buckle and started to unzip his jeans. He grabbed my hand to stop me, leaned down to my ear, and whispered, “Slow down, sweetheart. I’m not in any hurry.”

He placed his hands high on my hips and slid my skirt down to the floor. When it hit the floor, I kicked it, and it landed on top of our shirts at the foot of the bed. Without taking his eyes off of mine, he leaned in, reached behind me and unclasped my bra. Then he slid it down my arms and tossed it into our ever growing pile of clothes.

Declan had felt me up before, but we had never been like this. He may have felt my breasts before, but he had never really seen them up close and personal. And my breasts were really large...DD’s. I hated them, but judging by the look on his face, Declan was impressed. He took a step toward me and closed the gap between us. He kissed me and pressed his body against mine. I could feel how excited he was and the fear of disappointing him crept back up.

I had no idea what I was doing, but at least I wasn’t the only virgin here. Declan didn’t know what he was doing either, so we would just have to figure it out together.

We climbed into bed, and Declan laid down next to me. I had to giggle, because he was rather mesmerized by my breasts. I looked over, and he was just staring at them. “Do you like what you see, sweetheart?” I asked sarcastically. He just nodded and then looked at me and his eyes were so full of love, a little bit of lust too.

He held my gaze, “Are you sure about this, Lor?”

“Yes, Declan. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.” After I said that, Declan took off his jeans and boxers.

He leaned over and kissed my neck. He ran his hand over my stomach and then gently squeezed my left breast. I heard a moan escape his lips. He nervously massaged my breasts and then he took my nipple into his mouth. He kept looking up at me, I assume to make sure he was doing okay. O
h my god
, he was doing great.

I could feel something building. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but the ache between my legs was getting pretty intense. Then he released my nipple. He reached down and ran his hand across the front of my white lace panties to pull them off. When his hand grazed me
there
, that intense ache turned into the most amazing thing I had ever felt. My back arched and I swear my eyes rolled back into my head. I had never felt anything like that before.  I felt like I was floating.

Declan climbed up and lowered himself down onto me. He put his knee between my legs and pushed them apart so he could position himself where he needed to be. He pressed himself
against me.
Oh my God
, he was so big. I think he could tell by the look on my face that I was scared. I blushed with what I was sure was a very deep shade of red, “Declan, I don’t think that will fit. You know,
inside
me.”

He laughed, “Sweetheart, I don’t remember Mrs. Edgeller mentioning anything like that in health class.”

I knew he was trying to act cool, but he was scared too. He caught my gaze and started to press himself into me. Once he started pressing into me, all of our fear went away. We were ready for this. This was how it was supposed to be. Declan and I were meant to be together.

Emma had told me how horrible it was when she had sex with Eric for the first time. She told me it hurt so bad that it wasn’t even enjoyable. I was so afraid that it would be painful or scary. There was a little pain when he pushed through my virginity, but after we got past that, it was perfect. I really didn’t think Emma and Eric did it right, because when Declan and I made love it felt truly magical. I know that sounds really cheesy, but we were so in sync with each other.

When we finished, Declan and I laid in each other’s arms, knowing that life could never get better than this.

I heard a really annoying buzzing sound, but I was so comfortable lying in Declan’s arms that I tried to ignore the noise I heard. Finally, I realized it was my phone. I crawled out of bed, grabbed my skirt from the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed, and pulled my cellphone out of the skirt pocket.

“Why are you bothering me, Ems? You know
I am busy
right now?” I said in my most hateful tone.

“Lor, Eric is so damn drunk. He’s puking in the pond and I can’t get him to leave. Can you guys come take him home? You know he always listens to Dec,” Emma said nervously. She made a good point. Eric and Declan had been best friends their entire lives and if anyone could get him home safely, it was Declan.

“Sure, Ems. I just have to wake Declan up. Then, we’ll get dressed and head back that way.”

“Thanks, Lor...love ya lots,” Emma said.

Declan had been awake and heard the entire conversation. “Let’s go get his sorry ass and take him home so we can crawl back into this warm bed.” He kissed my bare shoulder. “And if you aren’t too sore, maybe we could do
that
again?” I just giggled and shook my head at him.

As much as we didn’t want to leave the bed, we threw on our clothes and headed back to the bonfire party.

When we pulled up, the lights from the truck shone down on the pond. We could see Eric puking in the pond. Emma was standing behind him, yelling at him about how stupid he was. Declan ran over to help Eric. I walked over to Emma and tried to calm her down.

“Ems, breathe,” I said as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

“I can’t believe he did this tonight!  Lor, sometimes he’s such a jerk.”

“Yeah, but you love that big jerk,” I said with a little smile.

“Damn it, I do love that jerk.”  I could tell she was upset, but she was trying really hard not to be.

“Go on home.  I don’t want your parents to freak out.  We’ll get him home safe.”

She got in her little purple Ford Escort and drove off toward her house. When Declan was sure that Eric was done puking, he threw him into the truck, and we headed toward his house.

Declan was holding on to Eric to make sure he didn’t get sick inside the truck. About the time we got in the truck it had started raining.  It was coming down so hard that I could barely see the road in front of me.

“Dec, it’s really raining hard. I can’t even see the road.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad, sweetheart. You’re doing great. Just speed up a little, so we can get back to what we were doin’ earlier,” he said with a wink.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I listened to Declan and sped up. It was so dark and the rain was coming down hard. I couldn’t see even two feet in front of the truck. All of a sudden the cattle were in front of us. The last thing I remember doing was slamming on the brakes. But I heard so much after that, breaking glass, crunching metal, and screams, so many screams.  Then I must’ve lost consciousness, because the next thing I remembered was Eric standing over me crying. I sat up slowly and screamed, “DECLAN!” Then Eric cried even harder.

That was the moment my destiny was changed forever.

Chapter 1

Ten Years Later

To celebrate my twenty-sixth birthday, Emma forced me to go into town last night to a dance club. That was so not my idea of a fun time. Ems was always harping on me about not getting out enough. I finally caved and went with her.

Emma and I were so much more than best friends, we were like sisters. Eric and Emma have been in love since we were kids. They finally got married about five years ago. They very rarely fought, but last night Eric didn’t want us to go out. He was worried about us going to a dance club alone. He hadn’t been there before, and he just didn’t think it was safe for us to go.