Destiny (9 page)

F
ROM THE
D
IARY OF
H
ELEN
B
LACK

M
IDNIGHT
, O
CTOBER
9

I
hope you will trust me, Wanderer, that everything I am going to tell you now is the truth, as complete and total as an eclipse of the sun. This strange day is nearly over. The others have gone to bed. I couldn’t sleep. I have come to Agnes’s study to think and write and relive it all….

After my encounter with Lynton, I met Sarah and Evie by the lake. Velvet was with them. She had a vivid aura around her like a smoldering fire, but Lynton had given me the courage to face her.

I was looking for you…. I care about you….
My heart was still beating in time with his words. All would be well, and all manner of things would be well….

I really believed it, at that moment. I really did.

It was cold in the grotto. The underground stream trickled away into the darkness, as it had a hundred years ago. The stream, the rocks, the freezing air, and the yellow candle flame; water, earth, air, and fire were there to welcome us in that secret place. And there was one more element present—there was Velvet.

Now I had to work and concentrate. I tried to forget about what had happened with Lynton, but something had changed in me. At that moment I felt nothing but love for everyone, even Velvet Romaine, and I knew I had no right to deny her the chance to follow her destiny. As we stood in the damp, echoing cavern it came to me that Evie and Sarah and I were at a crossroads. Velvet would either help us to draw closer again or tear our sisterhood to pieces. I had no idea whether the fire that burned in her was a purifying flame or a terrible inferno of destruction, but we had to find out. We had to give her a chance to discover who she really was, down there in the dark.

Did it also cross my mind that if Velvet was accepted into our sisterhood, it would perhaps give me the chance to leave it? To leave…to be free…to follow a different path…

Marsh lights. Distractions. Dreams.

“Let’s prepare the Circle,” I said. Sarah gathered a
handful of small rocks from the bed of the stream and marked out the ground with them. Evie lit more candles from the niche in the cave wall and put them on the edge of the stone Circle. The pebbles gleamed wetly in the light of the dancing flames: gray, purple, moss.

“Is the Talisman here?” I asked.

Evie unclasped her necklace and laid it in the center of our Circle. It looked precious, like a rare jewel glinting in the ring of fire.

“The rest of us must offer something too,” I said. It was as though I saw all this happening in my mind the moment before it took place in reality, and I had to follow what I saw. I felt under my sweater for the Seal, my mother’s brooch. It hadn’t answered my call, but it was still precious to me, and so I offered it. As I laid it on the rocky ground next to the Talisman, a weird thought crossed my mind. I realized that if my mother had accepted the Seal and all its secrets, I would never have been born. Only her failure had allowed my existence.

But I didn’t want to think about failure. I wanted to look forward, not back. “Sarah, what will you give to our Circle?” I asked. She shook her dark curls and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything with me. You know that my gift was the crown of leaves—it’s not here. It’s hidden away
in my dorm.” Sarah was talking about the bronze crown she had won when she went down into Death to release the Kinsfolk, the people of earth, from their living grave. She looked anxious, as though she had let me down. “I’m sorry, Helen,” she said again.

I smiled at her. “You have other gifts,” I said. Sarah shrugged her shoulders and began to search through her pockets, then hesitated before offering a small, dark object to me. “I was using this in my patch of garden this morning.”

It was a small clasped knife, with a smooth handle of bone. A few crumbs of earth clung to it. I opened the blade and set it next to the Talisman and the Seal.

“Your turn, Velvet,” I said. “Give what you can.”

Velvet looked nervous under her heavy makeup, but she swaggered forward and snatched up the knife. She sliced a glossy piece off her black hair with the blade and dropped the silken strands on the ground. Then she ran the knife against her thumb, wincing slightly as the skin split and a bead of scarlet blood dropped onto the other offerings. Velvet placed the knife next to the Talisman and declared defiantly, “I give myself, body and soul.”

“The One who guides all powers, who gives and takes away, is listening,” I replied. “This is your Testing. Do you
want to find out if your offering is approved?”

“I do,” she said, but there was fear in her eyes. What was she most afraid of—being accepted or rejected?

We stepped into the Circle and took hands. As we did so, the lights blew out. I felt Velvet grip me and heard her sharp intake of breath.

“Do you want to stop, Velvet?” Sarah whispered.

“No—no—don’t stop,” she panted. “Go on.”

The stream gurgled in the dark, running on to its unseen destination. Evie and Sarah and I began to call upon the powers, making our chant like a prayer: “
The water of our veins…the fire of our desires…the clay of our bodies…the air of our breath…we give all in the service of truth and healing…we give all in the dance of life….”

Then Evie spoke. “We stand here together, pure in intention, courageous of heart, young in spirit, united of purpose. We ask Agnes to join our Circle from the eternal light where she dwells. Let her show us the truth. Is Velvet called to serve the elemental powers and their Great Creator?”

The next moment the candles blazed fiercely into life again. The mosaics glinted in the bright light. Great shadows danced on the walls of the grotto. Now Agnes was with us. Her long red hair and white dress shimmered like
water. She was there, and yet elsewhere at the same time, as though we saw her through a fine veil of mist.

“Agnes,” Evie said gently. “Is it right for Velvet to join our mysteries? What should we do? She wants to test her calling.”

But Agnes didn’t reply. She cupped her hands in front of her, and a white flame danced there, as though she held a fluttering dove. We copied her and did the same, holding out our hands and offering our service to the elemental powers. Evie’s hands filled and overflowed with water, Sarah’s with the fine dust of the earth, while a miniature tornado whirled fiercely in my own. We all looked at Velvet, who thrust her hands out. “Show me my power,” she said eagerly.

As she waited, the signs of the four elements left us and appeared in turn in Velvet’s outstretched hands: water, air, and earth. Finally fire manifested itself, little white flames that danced and sparkled, but didn’t burn the skin.

Velvet looked delighted. “I knew it,” she said exultingly. “I knew that it would be fire!” But the next moment the flames changed to blue, then dark purple and then to black. Velvet began to writhe in pain. “No, stop it, they’re burning me, stop…” A wind sprang up, tearing at her clothes and hair, taking her breath away. The roof of the
grotto shook and rocks began to fall onto her, and icy water from the stream swirled around her knees as she swayed in terror. It was as though she was at the heart of an unnatural storm of elements that didn’t touch the rest of us but was lashing out at Velvet. And all the time the black flames danced cruelly on her hands.

“No, no, no!” she screamed as she hurled the fire away from her. A spinning ball of flame leaped through the air and crashed against the wall of the cavern, blasting the rock. The old mosaic images of nymphs and garlanded stags began to crumble and change, turning into a vision of a wild hunt that galloped recklessly through the night. The huntsmen and women wore wolf skins, and their long hair blew in the wind as they followed a white stag, sounding their curving horns and urging the hunt forward with savage, yet beautiful cries. A tall, dark-haired woman sat astride a magnificent black stallion, which reared up as she fitted a bow to her arrow and took aim at the terrified stag. The woman was ablaze with the desire to wound and kill. She turned to us, and I saw that she had Velvet’s face.

“No, no, no…” A girl’s voice echoed round the grotto, young and pleading like a child. I somehow knew that it was Velvet’s little sister, Jasmine. But she was dead—she was dead.

“Stop it, Velvet, I don’t trust you…stop…” The voice grew more insistent. “No, Velvet! You’re hurting me…please…you’re killing me…stop!” Then the storm suddenly blew itself out, and the wild hunt melted away like a dream. Velvet slumped to the ground.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she sobbed. “Jasmine, I’m so sorry, I was just angry, I didn’t mean to do any of those things, I didn’t!” She lunged forward and grabbed the knife that still lay on the ground next to the Seal and the Talisman, and began to slash wildly at her legs and arms, trying to cut herself in a fit of self-disgust. Agnes clicked her fingers, and the knife flew into her hand. Velvet looked up, ashamed and astonished, tears smudging her mascara and staining her white skin.

“Enough,” Agnes said quietly. “We have seen enough.”

“Who are you?” whispered Velvet.

“My name is Agnes. I lived here before you were born. I left this place and had a child, and her child was Evie’s great-grandmother. Evie and I are linked by blood and the Mystic Way, and she has called me here tonight to help in this hard judgment.”

“So—so can I be part of all this?” Velvet asked shakily. “I want to belong. You have to let me!”

“Velvet Romaine, I bring you a message from the
unseen world,” Agnes replied gravely. “A warning. Your Testing has shown that your inheritance is a black flame of anger and despair. Your powers are unformed, chaotic. You are a Touchstone, able to channel the elemental powers without knowing what you do, or how to control your actions. Your desires are unruly, like the wild hunt, trampling even those you want to love. Your sister Jasmine’s death—your friend’s injuries in the fire—didn’t you dream of such things? Did you tell yourself that you made them happen?”

“Yes…yes, I did…oh God, I hate myself!”

Agnes looked at her with pity. “Their destinies were written without you, Velvet. You are not so important, or so skilled, as to be able to force their lives according to your angry daydreams. Other powers were at work, too. Forgive yourself, and try to change.”

Velvet burst into a noisy storm of tears. “Really? It wasn’t just me? Oh my God…all this time I thought…” She controlled herself and looked up. “Agnes, I do want to change. I want to be like Helen. I want to be part of this Mystic Way of yours, to understand it.”

“The Mystic Way is a path of healing,” Agnes replied. “You are too much in need of healing yourself to join our sisterhood. You are not ready.”

“But I want to help!”

“The elemental spirits will not be controlled at your call,” said Agnes. “Not until you can control your own heart. In the meantime, accept the gifts you already have. Courage. Strength. Life. Open your heart. Learn to love. Stop hurting yourself, and you may stop hurting others. Run with the hunt, but make sure your prey deserves your vengeance. Do you understand?”

“I—I think so,” Velvet gasped. I hoped with all my heart that she did.

Agnes sighed. She carefully placed the knife back on the ground next to the Talisman and the Seal. There was blood on her fingers. She stood up and made a sign with it on Velvet’s forehead. “You are marked for death,” she whispered. “But when the hour of your death is near, think of me, Agnes Templeton, servant of the sacred fire. Remember me….,” she said, and her image began to fade. “Our time is finished, I must return…the Circle is breaking…remember me…”

She was leaving us. “Wait, Agnes!” I called. “Tell us about Laura—where can we find her? Where is the Eye of Time? I need to know!”

“She is lost in time…lost between worlds…like Sarah’s people…Call them from their deep hiding place…the
earth is time’s cradle…and its grave.”

Agnes was gone. Our Circle was broken. Velvet had been tested, and turned away. But at least Agnes had been able to tell us something. Lost in time, between worlds, like Sarah’s people, she said. That had to mean only one thing. We had to look for Laura in the dark, hidden places, under the earth itself.

T
HE
W
ITNESS OF
S
ARAH
F
ITZALAN

L
ost in time, lost between worlds, like Sarah’s people….
As soon as Agnes had spoken, I knew that she was talking about the Kinsfolk.

They were an ancient people who had been trapped in time, cursed so that they were unable to pass to the life beyond the grave. I remembered what Kundar, their leader, had said to me about their long ordeal:
We could not die and pass to the land of fathers. So we slept in the earth…caught between this world and the next.

The Kinsfolk still waited for the end of time and the reshaping of all things, hiding from the modern world deep in the caverns under the moors. I had won the crown of leaves for them, and they were my people, as Agnes had
said, and I knew they would help us if they could.

Our first task, however, was to comfort Velvet, who was crying and shaking, torn between fear and disappointment. She had touched and seen mysteries, but she still didn’t quite belong. And those words of Agnes—
You are marked for death
. Had it really been necessary for Agnes to tell Velvet that? For the very first time I questioned our secret sister’s judgment. Wouldn’t it have been better to let Velvet stay in happy ignorance of the danger she was in? But then I told myself that being ignorant was not the same as being safe.

Velvet and I shared a dorm, so I offered to take her there and make sure that she was all right. I explained to our other roommate, Ruby, that Velvet was not feeling well, then asked Ruby to fetch a glass of water to get her out of the way for a few minutes.

“Try to get some rest,” I said as Ruby left the room and Velvet curled up on her bed. There was a smudge of blood on her forehead, and I wiped it off.

“I didn’t think it would be like that,” Velvet murmured. “I thought I would be able to do spells and magic and dazzle everyone with cool stuff. I wanted to be different…special. But I’m under some kind of curse, aren’t I? Marked for death.” She looked scared and young as she lay
there. A young life marked for death. It seemed too cruel. I didn’t want it to be like that for her.

“Of course not,” I said heartily—too heartily. I wanted to make Velvet feel better, but I wasn’t really sure what to say. “Let’s face it, we’re all going to die one day.” My clumsy reassurances didn’t exactly sound comforting. I tried again. “Look, Velvet, you have to understand that death is only the gateway, a kind of beginning. And Agnes said you had gifts that you could learn to use. Courage and strength. Not everyone has that.”

“She said life too, didn’t she?” Velvet murmured. “That I had the gift of life.”

“Yes. Remember that in the end life is greater than death, just as light is greater and more powerful than the dark. And it doesn’t matter how long life is, if you make every second count. We all have to remember that.”

There was a long silence, then Velvet whispered, “I’ll try. Thank you, Sarah. You’re nice. I’m sorry if I’ve been…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I made as if to go, but Velvet sat up and clung on to me, so tight that she was hurting my arm. “You will still let me hang out with you, won’t you, Sarah?”

“Sure, of course—”

“I don’t mean in school—I mean when you do your
mystic powers, or whatever you call it. I still want to be there. I could watch you and learn to control what I do, couldn’t I? I don’t mean to make bad stuff happen.”

I could have reminded Velvet that only the term before she had been involved in “bad stuff.” She had been there when Helen had mysteriously fallen from a window in the school. It was a miracle that Helen had survived the accident, and Velvet hadn’t exactly been a good friend to any of us. But I restrained myself. I could see that Velvet was really hurting. She hadn’t expected to be turned away.

“But Agnes said you weren’t ready—” I began.

“I could make myself ready! Don’t you see how amazing this is? We aren’t like ordinary girls. We’ve got powers. We’re like—superhuman. Agnes said it wasn’t really my fault about the fire and the car crash, but I know I can do weird stuff. If I see things in my mind, they start to happen. Just think—if I learn to control it, I could have real power! I could do amazing things, and it’s stronger in the Circle, isn’t it? I need the rest of you and you need me. You’ve got to let me be part of it!”

I felt alarmed. Her cheeks were flushed, and there was a frantic look in her eyes.

“Velvet, you’ve had a bit of a shock, and I know it’s a lot to take in, but you’ve got to take what Agnes said seriously.
If this isn’t for you, it’s best to forget it.”

“But that’s just her opinion! She’s not in charge—she’s just one out of four. If the rest of you agreed, I could watch you and learn and…and become a better person. I saw you fight those women out on the moors last term—they’re your enemies, aren’t they? I could help you against them, I know I could. I need to do this. I need something real and powerful in my life. I can’t go on drifting like I am, going from one stupid stunt to another and getting into the papers just because my dad’s famous. I need to know who I really am. This is my destiny—don’t you see? Please, Sarah, say you’ll be on my side.”

I was so torn. I had seen for myself Velvet’s selfish streak, her appetite for danger and her disregard for other people. But she seemed sincere, even desperate. Perhaps Agnes had been wrong….

“I think there’s a time for everything,” I said slowly. “And maybe this just isn’t your time. Be patient.”

She fell back on her pillows and grimaced wryly. “Patience really isn’t my thing, if you hadn’t noticed.” Tears brimmed her dark eyes but Velvet blinked them away, and I felt a quick, hot shaft of pity burn through me.

“Perhaps I could speak to the others, see what Helen thinks—”

“Yes! Please, Sarah, please, I’m begging you.”

Just then Ruby came back with a glass of water and a couple of aspirin.

I stood up to go. For some reason I reached into my pocket for the little bone-handled knife and slipped it under Velvet’s pillow. “You might need this. Don’t go hurting yourself, though,” I whispered. “Save your anger for the enemy.”

“Thank you, Sarah—thank you—and don’t forget what I said, will you?”

I went to find Helen and Evie, relieved to get away from her. My mind leaped forward to what lay ahead. I was good at this: planning, making things happen. It seemed to me that we had to speak to Kundar as soon as we could. To do that we’d have to get out of Wyldcliffe and go to the White Tor, the peak on the high moors where the entrance to the underground kingdom was hidden. I ran as quickly as I dared down the white marble staircase to the entrance hall where my friends would be waiting. A few girls were gathered by the massive stone fireplace in the hall, gossiping over their weekend activities, yawning and grumbling about homework they still hadn’t finished.

It was so odd to have to join in with them, to pretend that Evie and Helen and I had just come in from our ride
to Uppercliffe and a walk on the grounds, with nothing better to do than go to supper with the rest of the students, but we had no choice. We constantly had to live in this double world of the banal and the extraordinary, not knowing how or when the two worlds might collide. I tried to tell myself that we would get through this, and that all would be well, like Helen used to say.

All would be well, as long as we faced everything together.