Destiny's Fire (15 page)

Reveling in Reese’s embrace, I fought the urge to glance around—see if anyone else watched us. Reese suddenly pulled away. Jace stood beside us. My face tingled, cold and pinpricking, as the blood drained from my face.

“I’m cutting in,” Jace told Reese, stepping up to him. “And I thought I told you not to even look at her.”

Reese’s jaw worked, grinding. His eyes shot toward me, and I gave him a pleading look, reminding him of his promise to take it easy on Jace. Reese held up his hands and backed away.

“Was just dancing, man,” Reese said. Then he stormed off the dance floor.

Jace took me in his arms. “Why didn’t you come get me if he was bothering you?”

“I didn’t want to start a scene. And besides”—I rolled my eyes—“he wasn’t bothering me. The other night was a misunderstanding. He didn’t mean me any harm.”

“Dez, you’re way too forgiving.” He pulled me closer. “I know you don’t want war. I get how you feel about that, but we can’t give into them—”

“Jace,” I breathed his name. “Can we not? You said you just wanted to have fun tonight. Remember?”

His lips tugged into a hard line, his brow furrowed. “All right. But I couldn’t stomach his dirty Narco hands on you.” Then the tension in his face relaxed. “I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

“Yes. Just chill, okay?”

He nodded and pressed his forehead to mine, swaying us back and forth. His breath caressed my lips, its heat making me quiver. We’d never been this close—during training, maybe, when we were knocking each other around—but not like this. Not holding me so intimately, as he did now.

I closed my eyes as my stomach twisted, knotted. Jace’s hand glided up my arm, moving slowly to my face. He cupped just under my jaw—his fingers resting on the back of my neck as his thumb caressed my cheek. I kept my eyes clamped shut. My lids twitched as I resisted the urge to look into his eyes, scared of what I’d see.

“Dez,” Jace whispered, pulling me from my thoughts.

I relaxed my lids, allowing my eyes to open. He stared at me, his blue eyes glowing fiercely. Then he brushed his lips lightly across mine. I froze. My heart stopped beating. He pressed his lips firmly, parting my lips, as he deepened the kiss.

I was in shock. I could feel Jace’s lips—taste him—as my lips moved against his, but my mind had shut down. All I felt was sensory. His lips were soft, yet commanding. They asked a question, but didn’t wait for the answer. I held still, and he pulled me closer.

The music switched tempo, and the sudden change of beat woke me from my trance. I jolted and broke the kiss.

People bounced and gyrated on the dance floor, crashing into us. I shook my head and looked into Jace’s eyes. They beamed bright blue as he smiled.

My mind reeled, and I tore my eyes from Jace, searching the crowd. Reese stood just feet away, his eyes burning fire red, his jaw clenched tight. Then his hands lit up, blazing, as he headed straight for us.

Chapter Thirteen

I G
LARED
A
T
R
EESE
and shook my head once, hard—begging him silently not to take another step. He halted mere inches from Jace’s back, his fists balled at his sides, engulfed in Flame. I stepped away from Jace, ready to jump between them. But Reese only bowed his head, a humorless smirk spreading across his lips. Then the Flame died as he turned and marched out of the club.

Jace leaned close to my ear as bodies flailed around us. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He tilted my head up.

I attempted a smile, trying not to show him how upset I was.
How could he do this? And now?
It wasn’t fair. “I’m going to go get some water,” I finally said.

He reached out and grasped my arm before I could walk off the floor. “Dez, please say something…something else.” His voice hitched. “Was that okay? Did I read wrong?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t know, Jace. I need a minute. Some fresh air or something. I’m just…” My voice shook.

He nodded and pressed his lips into a tight line, then walked toward the bar.

I lowered my head, avoiding Lana’s questioning eyes, and stalked off the dance floor. I threw open the doors that Reese had gone through and searched the lot, but he wasn’t there. I tried to spot his levibike, but that was gone, too. A tear escaped down my cheek, and I hung my head.

The music grew louder behind me as the doors opened, then muffled as they closed. I breathed in, taking more air than I needed into my lungs, and released it slowly.

Lana walked up beside me. “Hey, whatcha doing?”

I laughed shakily, relieved it was her and not Jace. “Getting some fresh air.”

“I’m the one that told him to go for it,” she said, leaning against the railing. “If you’re going to be upset, be upset with me. I thought you felt the same about him.”

I shook my head, clearing it. “The same? How—”

“He’s been in love with you forever, Dez. He was terrified tonight. If I was wrong, and you don’t feel the same about him, tell him,” she said, her face pinched. “But let him down easy. Because it’s going to break his heart.”

“This isn’t fair,” I said with mock laughter under my breath and a sharp pain in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “I had no idea. You should have given me a clue long before now.”

“A clue?” Lana rolled her eyes. “Geez, Dez. Wake up. The boy’s been pining for you ever since middle school. He’s just Jace. He’s not good with emotions. It’s taken him this long to even admit to me and Nick what we already knew.” She paused a beat. “What you should’ve been able to see this whole time.”

I kicked the railing. “I don’t know what to do,” I admitted.

She wrapped her arms around me, cradling me to her side. “Whatever you decide, I’ll love you either way.” Then she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and went back inside.

I wanted to run right then. I wanted to fade away—disappear into the night. How could I have been so dense? No, it wasn’t all my fault. Jace had never said a word. But Lana was right. I should’ve been paying closer attention. I gritted my teeth.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break his heart. Jace never opened up to anyone. How could I hurt one of my best friends? But I was with Reese. Reese, who was just like me. We fit together without any secrets between us. Would Jace feel the same about me if I told him I was half Narco?

For a moment, I thought about marching back into the club and telling him just that. It would be a way to remedy the situation without having to hurt him myself. I kicked the railing harder. But there was an even bigger issue. One I was avoiding. How did I truly feel about Jace?

Before Reese had come along, I’d fantasized about Jace and I being together. But I’d believed he’d never feel the same. Why was this happening now? My biggest problem used to be the Narcolym and having to keep my identity a secret. Now I was having boy problems? How did I go from possible war and fleeing for my life to dating issues? I shook my head.

I couldn’t decide how to handle it now. I needed time to sort it out. I’d already hurt Reese, and I’d probably end up hurting Jace. I just didn’t want to deal at that moment. Taking one last deep breath, I pushed through the club doors.

Jace sat at the bar, his head hung low. My heart thudded as I sat down next to him. “Hey.”

He peeked at me. “Hey.”

“Look,” I said, scooting closer to him. “I’m really confused. I think I should go home and chill for the night.” I averted my eyes from the hurt in his.

“Okay, that’s fair.” He sighed. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, it’s not you. I just need some time.”

Jace nodded, his lips twisting into a sideways grin. “The ol’ ‘it’s not you it’s me bit,’ huh?”

“Jace,” I said under my breath. “Please.”

“You’re right. Totally not fair on my part.” He took my hand, turning it over and lacing his fingers through mine. “As much time as you need.” He looked into my eyes. “I’ll wait.”

My heart hammered against my chest painfully, and I gave him a weak smile. Why couldn’t he go back to being the brooding, pissed off Jace? It would have been easier if he was simply angry with me.

I told Nick and Lana that I was leaving. She hugged me, saying she’d see me Monday at the Academy. And not to forget to pack some hot clothes. I was thankful for her spirit. It was reassuring that she cared about me no matter my choice when it came to her brother.

I glanced around the lot one last time, hoping to glimpse Reese before climbing onto the back of Jace’s levibike. Jace started the engine, its hum vibrating deep into my aching chest.

My mind was numb as we hovered across Haven’s cobbled roadways. I knew Jace wanted me to say something, but I just couldn’t. As we pulled up to my walkway, Jace left the levibike idling. I sat motionless for a moment and then slid off the seat.

“I want you to know,” Jace said, looking down as his hands gripped the brass steering bar. “No matter what, I’ll always be there for you.” He glanced at me. “You can’t do or say anything to change that, Dez. I’ll always care about you.”

My legs almost gave out beneath me. I swallowed down my heart, which was beating violently in my throat. “I care about you, too, Jace. You’re my best friend.” His face hardened into a painful expression at
friend
. “But…just give me time. It’s sudden.”

He nodded, lowering his goggles over his eyes. “I’ll see you at the Academy, then.” He gave me a small smile before he hovered off.

I wanted to collapse right there on my walkway. But somehow, I managed to push through my front door and climb the stairs. I slouched against my bedroom door, my eyes burning as I fought back tears.

All day Sunday I spent packing with my mom. We boxed everything she thought I’d need at the Academy. If not for the pain in my heart, I would’ve enjoyed seeing her so carefree. She glowed. She was still nervous about me going to the Academy, but the pressing fear of discovery she’d carried with her for so long wasn’t weighing her down.

Although I knew she could tell something was wrong, as she kept studying my face, she didn’t press me. I felt if I didn’t talk about it, maybe things would go back to normal. But I didn’t know which normalcy I wanted. Normal before Jace had kissed me? Or normal before I’d met Reese? My life was better because of Reese. I owed him more than anything for what he’d taught me. But I’d known Jace forever. He’d protected me against bullies in elementary school. He’d been there through everything. Everything except the one moment I’d needed someone the most—the change.

But he couldn’t have been there for that. Not without me admitting who,
what
I was.

I slammed another box onto the foyer floor. I wanted my brain to stop. On my way back to my room, I passed my communicator. I stared at the blank analog screen. No messages. I’d held it all night after sending Reese numerous messages—waiting, praying he’d send one back. Tell me everything would be fine. For some reason, I needed his reassurance. What a crappy girlfriend I was. I’d been the one to hurt him, and I wanted him to make
me
feel better.

Later that evening, Mom made my favorite dinner: pot roast and potatoes. It was the best comfort food, though not even her double-layer chocolate cake could fill the void tearing into the pit of my stomach. I went to bed that night—my communicator tucked under my pillow—trying desperately to fall asleep. Somehow, I managed.

I awoke bright and early Monday morning to an overcast sky. Mom helped me cart my two loaded-down boxes onto the Academy steam shuttle. It would be one of the only times I rode it. Once going to the Academy—once leaving. My world was about to change…again.

The triplets weren’t on the shuttle. Their dad, being a Council member, had alternate transportation. I watched Haven pass with trepidation in my heart. I was excited to begin a new chapter in my life—especially since I could disguise my power—but I was anxious about seeing Reese and Jace.

I stared through the fogged window, downhearted. I still hadn’t figured out what to say to Jace. But deep inside, I knew what I had to do: not be with either. It was the only logical choice that wouldn’t hurt either one any further.

We hovered up to the Academy grounds. The three-story stone building stood looming over downtown Haven. It was set back against the forest, the boundary of the town, behind an eight-foot high wrought iron gate. Steam puffed from the gate’s hinges as it squeaked open.