Destiny's Lovers (34 page)

“Most pregnant women experience some nausea
in the beginning,” Suria said. “It will disappear in time.”

“Pregnant?” Janina, watching Suria’s
expression change from amusement to shock, thought she must have
looked equally shocked. “Pregnant,” she said again.

“I thought you knew,” Suria cried. “I
detected it the first time I examined you, but it is such a private
thing I never mentioned it to you or anyone else until you were
ready to speak of it. I thought you didn’t want to talk about it
because you and Reid have no permanent arrangement and because of
the Jurisdiction regulations about childbearing. I just assumed
that Herne knew and was advising you, but I haven’t had a chance to
discuss all of my medical findings with him because most of his
time is taken up with Reid, and we have been dealing only with
immediate problems. Oh, Janina, I am sorry I was overly discreet!
But of course, if you were trained as a virgin priestess, you
probably never considered the possibility, did you? Nor thought of
ways to prevent it.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted to prevent it. The
child is part of Reid, and therefore precious to me. Suria, I think
I did know. When I was so sick, when Osiyar -” she stopped,
recalling the tiny flutter she had felt when she and Reid and
Osiyar were caught in that terrible black vortex. She had sensed
another presence there, an entity not yet fully formed. And there
had been the wonderful secret she had been about to share with Reid
when they walked in the meadow. Yes, she had known. “Could the
antitoxin have hurt the baby in any way?” she asked, suddenly
frightened for the new life within her.

“That is a good question, and one I did not
ask earlier because your life was in danger and there was no doubt
you needed the antitoxin. Let me do a more complete examination on
this child of yours.” Suria took up the diagnostic rod and adjusted
it. A few minutes later she reported, “All is well, Janina. There
is nothing to worry about.”

“A baby.” Janina put her hands on her
still-flat abdomen. “What a wonderful thing to tell Reid when he
wakes up. He will wake up, won’t he, Suria?”

“We can hope for the best,” Suria said
evasively. Then, taking Janina’s hand, she went on. “I want you to
know that I am a midwife. Herne and I both will be available to you
when your time comes. Your child will be born safely.”

In the current atmosphere of hushed concern
for Reid that pervaded Tarik’s headquarters, Janina’s happy face
brought puzzled looks until she revealed her good news to Narisa,
and then to everyone else.

“That’s wonderful,” Narisa said, hugging
her.

“If you were living in Jurisdiction
territory,” Alla informed her coldly, “you would be severely
punished for conceiving a child without permission.”

“She is not in the Jurisdiction, she’s under
my command.” Tarik came to Janina’s defense. “If she and Reid want
a child, that is their concern, not yours.”

“Reid is unable to say whether he wants this
child or not,” Alla cried. “Who’s to say it really is Reid’s? Who
knows what happened at Ruthlen, or what kind of life she led
there?”

“I am here to say that Janina was never
touched by any man until Reid came to Ruthlen,” Osiyar
declared.

“Of course you will take her side,” Alla said
spitefully.

“Come with me, Alla.” Osiyar’s voice was
soft. “I would speak with you in private.”

Alla looked rebellious, but she followed
Osiyar outside the building. Behind them, Tarik looked at Janina
with raised brows.

“Is he controlling her?” Tarik asked.

“Not in the way you mean,” Janina replied,
adding, “He would never harm her.”

“Perhaps it’s Osiyar’s safety that ought to
concern us,” Tarik said with a laugh, and turned back to his
work.

* * * * *

When they came to his favorite spot on the
beach, Osiyar stopped, facing Alla. Behind him rose the cliffs,
with the Chon flying in and out of their homes in the rock.

“This behavior is unworthy of you,” Osiyar
said with blunt sternness. “Your childish jealousy is evident to
everyone who hears you attack Janina. Leave her alone. She and Reid
have been bound together since she foretold his coming to
Ruthlen.”

“What nonsense! Reid was my cousin first,
before ever he met that fool of a girl,” Alla stated with a
stubborn forward thrust of her lower lip. “But now she is having
his child. It will never again be the same as it was between Reid
and me. She has won, and I have lost him.”

“You speak as though you owned him. No one
can own another person,” Osiyar told her. “What you need is someone
to fulfill your desires, including the desires you are not aware
you have.”

He was pleased when she did not pretend to
misunderstand him.

“There is no one among the colonists that I
would be interested in,” Alla responded with a lift of her proud
chin.

“Do you know what I’m thinking?” Osiyar
asked.

“Of course not. I’m not a telepath,” she said
with some sharpness.

“I’m thinking that I am not one of the
colonists,” Osiyar said. “I’m thinking that you are a beautiful
woman. And a lonely woman. As I am alone.”

“Is this a declaration of love?” Alla
scoffed.

“I have never loved.” Osiyar smiled a little.
“But lately I have known friendship - for Reid and Janina, for
Tarik, and even for Gaidar. I can offer you friendship.”

“Only friendship?”

“Don’t laugh at friendship. It is a rare and
unusual thing.” Osiyar took a deep breath before he went on. “My
old life is gone. All the vows and expectations that bound me while
I was in Ruthlen are dissolved now. It is time for me to make a new
beginning. It is time to take a mate.”

She was silent, looking away from him,
watching the birds fly across the lake to fish. When she spoke
again, he knew her brilliant mind had leapt to the important issue
behind his unemotional proposal.

“Will your children be telepaths?” she asked,
still not looking at him.

“If I chose the right mother for them,” he
replied.

“Such children would be difficult to
raise.”

“Not if both parents take part in the
raising.”

“What you suggest is, in fact, an
experiment,” she said, sounding interested in the possibility.

“In interplanetary zoology,” he added with
apparent seriousness. “It is your specialty, is it not?”

“That, and botany.” She did look at him then,
right into his eyes with fearless curiosity. “What happens when you
mate? Do you invade your partner’s mind?”

“Not at first. Not until you are ready for
the stronger bonding. I would instruct you, so you would know what
to expect. It is not a thing to fear, Alla.”

“I’m not afraid.” She sounded almost defiant.
“I was only asking a question.”

“Beyond your justifiable concern,” he said,
“lies a deeper intimacy than you have ever known, and delicious,
unimaginable pleasure.”

“Intimacy?”

“Do you fear it?”

“I always have,” she responded honestly.

“Except for Reid, who is your close kin, and
therefore forbidden to you. And therefore safe to love, for you
will never be disappointed in something you cannot have.”

“Have you read my mind already, Osiyar?”

“No. And it is not a ‘reading,’ it is a
knowing. There is a difference.”

“You would know me, but I could never know
your mind.”

“Ah, but you could. There is more to you than
you realize.” He saw that her stubborn lower lip was trembling. To
his own surprise, he felt an urgent desire to kiss that hard yet
vulnerable mouth. He put out his right hand and laid it on her
shoulder. She did not move away. “Will you take the first step with
me, Alla?”

“Yes,” she said, “I will. But you understand,
I do it only in the interests of scientific research.”

“Of course,” he said, drawing her into his
arms. “And so do I, my lovely experiment. So do I.”

* * * * *

“Narisa, if I am to go to Tathan, then you,
as my second in command, will have to remain behind,” Tarik told
his wife.

“I refuse to obey that order,” Narisa
declared. “Gaidar and Suria can manage very well, and we have an
excellent second communications officer to take Reid’s place. If
there should be an emergency here, we can return within a few
hours, and if we are needed aboard the Kalina, we can reach orbit
as easily from Tathan as from here. You and I will go, along with
Osiyar and Alia.”

It took three more days of discussion, but at
last Tarik accepted Narisa’s argument.

“I cannot leave until Reid is well,” Alla
insisted. “I am not certain I should go at all.” Day after day she
continued to waver, until Osiyar, understanding the conflict she
felt, spoke to Tarik, and Tarik commanded her to join the
expedition whether Reid recovered or not.

On the night before they were to leave for
Tathan, Herne and Osiyar closed themselves into Reid’s hospital
room while Osiyar linked his mind with Reid’s once more, this time
to ease him out of suspension.

“He will waken in a day or two, perhaps
sooner,” Herne announced hours later. “He will recover, Alla. You
may leave tomorrow without any worry for him.”

The next morning, after all the good-byes had
been said and the shuttlecraft was just about to lift off from the
beach, Herne arrived, beckoning to Janina, who had walked to the
beach with Osiyar.

“He’s awake,” Herne said. “You may see him
now.”

Janina started to run up the beach - and
stopped just as she reached the trees. Spinning around, she raced
back to the shuttlecraft, where Osiyar was sliding the hatch
shut.

“Wait!” she cried, waving both arms. “You
have to wait. Osiyar, let me inside. Alla! Alla, Reid is awake. Go
to him.”

Without a word to Janina, Alla tumbled
through the hatch and ran for the headquarters building.

“So much for generosity,” Herne said to
Janina. “She didn’t even thank you.”

“I will have Reid for all of my life,” Janina
replied. “Alla must give him up, and she has to do it now, this
morning. Reid will tell her so.”

But Alla stopped before she reached the path
through the trees. Turning, she retraced her steps until she stood
before Janina.

“You would have let me see him first,” she
said. “Why?”

“You love him,” Janina responded. “And he
loves you. You are his only blood kin. Go on, Alla. Tarik will wait
for you.”

“No.” Alla tried to smile, but could not.
Janina saw the quickly-banished tears, and the loss in her face,
before Alla set her features into a hard mask.

“You are not the only one who can give up
your love for his own good,” Alla said in a tight, cold voice. “You
carry his child inside you. Reid’s child makes us kin, Janina,
whether I like it or not. He needs to know about the baby. Go tell
him. And tell him - say I love him but I have important work to do.
Tell him I said good-bye.”

Janina put out both hands, wanting to touch
Alla, to let her know how much her sacrifice meant, for it was a
great sacrifice on Alla’s part. Alla brushed her hands aside,
turning toward the shuttlecraft where Osiyar waited in the
hatchway.

“Good-bye,” Janina called after her. “Good
luck.”

With no last look but only a quick backward
wave of one hand, Alla disappeared into the hatch. Osiyar closed
the door and a moment later the shuttlecraft roared into the
sky.

* * * * *

Reid looked remarkably well for someone who
had been so sick for so long. Sitting on the side of his bed,
Janina put her arms around him.

“I felt you with me,” he murmured. “You and
Osiyar. My love and my friend.”

“Hush,” Janina whispered, wanting him to
rest. “I’ll tell you all about it later. We are safe now, Reid. Our
long journey is over. I’m only sorry I was such a coward about so
many things along the way.”

“You are no coward at all,” Reid said. “You
are the bravest woman I have ever known, and the most intelligent.
You saved my life twice.”

She considered his words, realizing that she
no longer thought of herself as weak or stupid. Still…

“I was terrified every moment,” she said.

“So was I,” Reid admitted.

“You?” She stared at him in wonder. “You are
no coward.”

“It’s not absence of fear that prevents a
person from being a coward,” he said, “but the determination to
fight through the fear to do the thing that must be done. You
certainly accomplished that.”

“Face the thing you fear,” she murmured
softly.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,” she replied, smiling to herself
with sudden confidence. “Nothing at all.”

She snuggled closer to him, tucking her head
under his chin. His lips repeatedly brushed her forehead, until she
lifted her face and their mouths met. His arms tightened around
her.

“You are supposed to be convalescing,” she
scolded when she could speak again.

“I believe a little gentle exercise is
beneficial to those who have been ill,” he responded solemnly,
pulling her against him once more.

“Herne may come in at any moment.”

“Herne will leave us alone.”

“Then Suria -” She could not finish what she
meant to say, for his mouth stopped her words.

It was not the vigorous loving she had known
with Reid in the past. He was still too weak for that, but Janina
understood that it was vitally important to him to claim her once
more for his own. He wooed her with gentle caresses, while she
kissed and fondled and nibbled in return, and finally slid beneath
him to pull him down on top of her. And when she felt him deep
within her at last, she knew that she had needed this lovemaking,
too, had needed her own affirmation of his love for her.

When they were both completely satisfied, she
lay with her head on his shoulder and her hand at his waist while
his fingers laced through hers.