Destroy You (Destroy #3) (2 page)

Chapter 1

Toni

One Year Ago

Jeremy leaned casually against the door of my room, where I was getting ready for my date. “Hey, sexy. Is all this hotness for me?” he teased.

I laughed. Not for a moment did he mean a word of that. I’d known Jeremy for the better part of a year, and while he was one of the sexiest men alive, he was also one of my best friends. Even if I were interested, which oddly I wasn’t, at least not anymore, it would be a pointless endeavor because he’s gay.

“I’ve got a date with Miguel,” I finally answered.

I didn’t miss the furrow between Jeremy’s brows. Damn but that man could even make frustrated sexy. Still, I hated it when his beautiful blue eyes went from glittering to flat and cold because he was upset with me.

I took a step back. “Say it,” I demanded.

Jeremy ran a hand through his thick, black hair. “What’s the point, Toni? Are you going to listen? Please tell me he’s at least picking you up. It’s your birthday.”

My brow furrowed. “You don’t understand.”

He crossed his arms across his chest. “Explain it to me, then, because I’d really like to understand why the ballsiest woman I know would continue to go back to a guy that treats her like shit.”

“Miguel and I have known each other since we were kids. Our parents are friends and business partners. I know my relationship with him isn’t perfect, but we have history together,” I argued.

Jeremy pushed away from the door but stopped before leaving my room. “I don’t like him. And I can’t promise not to say ‘I told you so’ when he finally proves himself to be the asshat I know him to be, but I’m always here for you. Remember that.”

Jeremy’s disapproval bothered me the entire way into Yakima. It took about forty-five minutes to get to Miguel’s parents’ house from Ellensburg, and the entire trip I couldn’t stop wondering why I was the one making the drive when it was my birthday. I couldn’t exactly curse Jer out for pointing out what I was already thinking.

In the rare moments where I was actually being honest with myself, I could admit that my feelings for Miguel were forced. Butterflies didn’t swarm my stomach when I thought about him. I didn’t burn with lust when he looked at me, and I avoided his touch as often as I could.

My parents and his expected us to get married. I accepted the idea when it was an abstract event set far in the future, but now that I was turning twenty-one and nearing graduation, my mother had been dropping more frequent hints about wedding planning. Seeing wedding magazines at the store made me break out in a cold sweat, and the thought of walking down the aisle toward Miguel made me cringe.

Maybe we just needed to focus on us and spend some real time together. Maybe. Since we graduated from high school three years ago, we’d been living in different towns. Our lives had taken different directions, and there was a divide between us that wasn’t there when we were teenagers.

We’d been on and off all throughout high school. The first time he broke up with me, I’d been heartbroken. When he attended one of the after-game parties with another girl, I was pissed, both because it was so easy for him to move on and because he got to break free of the expectations of our parents and I couldn’t. Privately, I had to admit I was killing time with Miguel until I could figure out how to escape my parents’ demands. I couldn’t help thinking back to one of the times I’d managed to ignore their wishes and do what I wanted to do.

***

Miguel and his friends sat around a table playing a drinking game. I sneered at them and grabbed a red plastic cup off the counter. We were currently off-again, and he was rubbing it in by making a big show out of making out with a girl I’d hated since middle school. My friends forced me to come to this party because most of the football team was going to be there, so I braved seeing Miguel with his skank of the week.

Since the beginning of my junior year of high school, I’d had a secret crush on the quarterback, Josh. He was tall, with wide shoulders and a trim waist. He had matured faster than most of the boys in school and looked more like a man than a boy. The best part about flirting with him was that Miguel hated him. I glanced in Josh’s direction and smiled invitingly.

Josh walked up behind me, but I didn’t turn around. He dropped his arm around my shoulder, and I felt his warm breath against my ear.

“Did you finally come to your senses? Are you ready to spend time with a real man?” His voice was low and vibrated against my neck. I lost the fight to control the goose bumps threatening to break out along my skin.

Oh boy was I ever ready. My pulse seemed to drop into my lady bits. I hummed in agreement and pressed my ass into his groin. Josh’s arm fell from my shoulders and his hands fell to my hips. He dug his fingers into my flesh, and my breath caught in my chest. Finally, I understood what all the girls were going on about when they talked about their boyfriends in the locker room. I’d never felt this instant desire with Miguel that I was feeling with Josh.

The problem was Miguel and I were friends first. I know for some people friendship grows into more, but I never felt a pull between us. Frankly, I missed the days when he and I could sit together watching a movie. We used to laugh then. Not one time growing up did I long to feel his lips against mine, not even in junior high when I hit puberty and thought about boys all day long. Seeing him with another girl hurt, not because I felt betrayed by my boyfriend, but because it was clear he wasn’t my best friend anymore.

So when Josh directed me through the crowd into the middle of the crush of bodies writhing to the music, I let go. Giving in to the fire racing through my blood, I let him guide my body to the beat.

***

Josh hadn’t crossed my mind for a long time. I had fond memories of the weeks he and I dated, but he was a senior, and at the end of the year, he left for college. After that summer, I ended up getting back together with Miguel. A pattern was set after that; Miguel and I would break up and make up after we each dated other people for a few weeks. Except, he always found a way to reinsert himself into my life before anything got too serious between myself and whomever I was dating at the time. As a result, he was able to have his no-strings fun, and I was never able to completely move on.

This was the last chance for Miguel and me to be together. We couldn’t keep going with our yo-yo relationship, or at least I couldn’t. Jeremy was right; it was a strike against Miguel that I was driving myself to his house and had essentially planned my own birthday. Hell, I wasn’t even sure Miguel remembered why we were supposed to be getting together tonight. I was hoping for a fresh start, which would begin with an honest conversation over dinner. Maybe if we worked hard enough, I could find the butterflies with Miguel that I’d found years ago with Josh.

I pulled into the circular drive in front of Miguel’s ridiculously grand house on the wealthiest street in Yakima. The sound of my car door closing seemed extra loud on this quiet street, but no one came to peer out the window, so I knocked and waited. July was scorching hot in central Washington, and the sun wouldn’t set for several hours, even though it was nearly six at night. Impatient, I tried the doorbell several times, but there was no answer.

Tired of waiting, I tried his phone and heard it ringing in the backyard. I let myself through the gate and walked around the house toward the pool. My stomach was churning with dread.

Miguel and some blond chick were in the deep end of the pool. Her wet bathing suit had been tossed haphazardly up on the deck, where she would not be able to retrieve it quickly if someone, like me, happened upon them. His trunks were floating around on top of the water.

I stood stunned, watching him hold on to the stair rail while he nailed her from behind. His other hand was under the water, presumably doing things I didn’t want to try to picture too clearly.

Stupidly, I’d brought a bottle of wine for us since I thought we’d be celebrating my birthday. My grasp on the neck slipped, and it crashed to the concrete and shattered into shards that would be impossible to clean up completely. Everything slowed down at that moment, and they turned their heads to see me gaping at them.

“Toni. Oh shit,” Miguel shouted.

Before he could get out of the pool, I ran from the backyard, leaving the glass for him to deal with. I wasn’t cleaning up another mess caused by Miguel Santos.

He followed through the gate a few seconds after me, limping and trying to hold a towel around his waist. “Toni, baby, please wait.”

I stopped, because curiosity made me want to hear how in the hell he thought he was going to talk his way out of it this time. He had to know I was done. He couldn’t be that stupid, could he?

“Baby, she doesn’t mean anything.
You
are my future. We’re meant to be together, but baby, I get lonely with you away at school. I’m only a man,” he complained.

Slowly, I turned to face him. His mouth dropped open in disbelief, probably because he realized I wasn’t crying. “That’s too bad, Miguel, because that means you lost me over nothing. Every roller coaster ride has to end eventually, and I think we just found ours. Have a nice life.”

I started to turn back toward my car, but he stopped me one more time. “You won’t be able to avoid me. Our families are close. You’ll be back. You and I are meant to be.”

I looked at him over my shoulder. “I won’t be back.”

Thirty minutes later, due to some recklessly fast driving, I pulled into the driveway at home.

Jeremy took one look at me as I walked inside and mumbled, “What a fucker. I’ll kick his ass.” He seemed too sweet to be a fighter most of the time, but occasionally I believed he could do some major damage. This was one of those moments.

“He isn’t worth it,” I replied. All the fight had been drained from me. My parents refused to see Miguel for what he really was. I didn’t have to tell them about this latest development, because this wasn’t the first time he’d cheated, and they’d made excuses for him in the past. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still expected us to get married someday.

My mom and dad were twenty years older than all of my friends’ parents. They’d been in their early forties and had given up hope they’d ever have a child when my mom discovered she was pregnant with me. All the years they spent waiting and praying for a family made them very overprotective parents. They monitored who my friends were, what clothes I wore, what I ate, and the activities I participated in. They chose Central for my education because it was close enough for them to drop in and check on me whenever they felt like it. Thankfully, they hadn’t done so without notice since my freshman year, but the possibility was always in the back of my mind.

A lot of people thought I was spoiled because my parents seemed to be generous with their money. I didn’t have to get a part-time job to pay my living expenses, like most college students. My car was also paid for, and they gave me spending money. But their financial support was contingent on me continuing to obey their rules. My mom and dad had a vision for my life, and deviation from their plan wouldn’t be tolerated.

They expected me to obtain my bachelor’s degree in business and graduate with honors. Then I was supposed to return to Yakima, marry Miguel, and start a family. It was a safe, respectable, and mind-numbingly dull plan for my future. Not exactly what I would choose for myself if they ever bothered to ask me what I wanted.

A laugh burst from me as I considered my failed relationship with Miguel. My parents wanted us to get married, and we couldn’t seem to stay together longer than a few months at a time. How exactly did they expect us to promise each other forever? I wasn’t sure how I was feeling right now, but it didn’t feel like my heart was broken. Yeah, I was pissed, but a little relieved, too.

No matter what my parents wanted, I wouldn’t be marrying him after this. I would miss the friendship we’d once had, but if he had been a true friend to me, he would have just ended it rather than cheating on me. Too bad it all had to go down on my birthday. Maybe Jer would let me use him as a pillow while I watched a chick flick. That would make it suck less.

Changing into sweat pants and binging on takeout sounded like a master plan, but Jeremy redirected me back into my bedroom when I came out wearing a hoodie and oversized pants. I didn’t even get to the part where he had to watch a man-candy marathon with me.

“Go find something slutty that’s covered in glitter,” he ordered.

I stepped aside and glowered at him. “You go find something covered in glitter. I’m not your type and I’ve had a shitty night.”

Jeremy gripped my shoulders and gave me a push toward my bedroom. “Pull back the claws, Tiny Tiger. We are going to talk, but first we’re going to mainline tequila. I’m taking you to The Hitching Post. You know, that bar downtown that always has a line to get in?”

“Why does everything in this town have to either have the name
Rodeo
in front of it or some random cowboy phrase?” I asked.