Destroyer (23 page)

Within the hour, Cajeiri actually hooked a fair-sized fish, and all but fell in from excitement. It took Algini and one of Cenedi’s men to get it unhooked, not without getting a hand finned, but Cajeiri was triumphant, and admired his pretty fish, until it escaped across the deck to considerable excitement. Algini picked it up, and Cajeiri proclaimed it was a brave fish and ought to go free. So back to the sea it went, to universal relief. And the line went back in the water.

So they sat or stood and absorbed the sunlight, in a sea devoid of other ships, from horizon to hazy blue horizon. “Bren-ji,” Jago ventured, when Banichi had gone aft to talk with Tano, “this woman Barb. Is this a common name?”

The question. The very pointed question. Jago had once upon a time urged him to File Intent against Barb, back when Barb had been a trouble to his life. Jago had offered to take out Barb herself, except he had, in a little alarm, realized Jago was perfectly serious and told her that this was not the human custom.

Now he found no cover at all.

“It is a common name, Jago-ji, but this is indeed Barb.”

“And she has made a liaison with your brother?” Very little floored Jago, but this seemed to reach some limit of good taste . . . he parsed it in atevi terms, and it came out worse than with humans—man’chi might be involved. A family breach among atevi was beyond serious.

“It seems so,” he said, and on a quick breath, Jago giving a very dark look toward Barb, he touched Jago lightly on the arm and drew her over to the forward rail, in a small space of privacy. “I know this will be confusing, Jago-ji. You know that my mother has died.”

“One had feared so, Bren-ji. One offers whatever words are appropriate, with deep concern for your well-being.” But it did not relate to Barb: the silent objection was there, simmering under her patience.

“Thank you. Thank you, Jago-ji.” Touching her hand. “One appreciates the sentiment. It was no great shock, but a profound loss, all the same. And this is what I have to explain. It does connect. Barb, in her own way, Barb had become a close associate of my mother during her illness, since I was absent. And that was a good thing. Toby, meanwhile, Toby had attempted to assist our mother, and was absent from his household. His wife took offense and left him, taking the children with her.”

“They were hers?” Under atevi law, children were arranged for, and contracted for, and went with the contracting parent under the marriage agreement. Nor was marriage always permanent. Nor was there love, that troublesome human word. There was that other thing, man’chi, which followed kinship lines more than it followed sexual attraction and finance.

He let go a deep, despairing sigh. “Humans make no such contracts. They assume husband and wife share man’chi. And no, she had no particular right to take the children, but their man’chi seemed to be to their mother, so they went, and left Toby at a time of crisis.”

“One recalls the facts of the case.” Jago had been privy to the details of a great deal of it, once upon a time, and seen him frown and worry over it, though, he recalled, he had not troubled her with overmuch explanation. The only thing she had known for certain, he put it together, was that Barb, a problem to him, had been taking care of his mother for reasons unfathomable to the atevi mind.

“Toby’s wife, Jago-ji, did not sympathize with our mother in her wish to have her household about her. She insisted Toby move to the north coast. This was about the time I took up the paidhi’s office, which upset my mother greatly. Toby had moved away. I moved away. She had no servants, nor anyone close to her. She wanted us back. I could by no means cross the strait at will; for Toby, it was a shorter flight. And our mother found a way to have emergencies. This became a serious matter between Toby and his wife. Our mother abused Toby’s devotion, I cannot pretend otherwise; and when she became old and sick, Toby’s wife was not willing to view the situation as anything but the old quarrel. Her man’chi to Toby fractured. In such cases, one splits the property—and the children. Toby gave the wife the house, which she sold, and kept the boat into which he put all his fortune. And I suppose—I suppose when our mother died, Barb had no man’chi but to him, and he had no one but her.”

“This is difficult, Bren-ji,” Jago said, whether that she meant it was a difficult situation, or difficult for her to comprehend.

“I have a deep man’chi to my brother. He risks his boat, and his life, in offering to assist us. And Barb—Barb has come with him to work the boat as she has evidently been doing—it is, apparently, their household, and it may be—it may be that she wishes to be sure the man’chi between Toby and me does not supercede that between her and Toby. So she came. So she wishes to maintain her influence. I trust this is her motive. She will not let me touch the boat.”

That apparently made sense. But it brought a frown.

“If she brings him happiness, Jago-ji, and settles herself with him longterm—” Talking it out, having to translate it into terms Jago could comprehend, somehow took the sting out of his heart. “If she treats him well, Jago-ji, I shall never remember any quarrel with her. I would honor her as my brother’s wife, and be respectful of her and him.”

“Then you believe, nandi, that she has come on this voyage to support him as well as to maintain her hold.”

“She would. She has courage, Jago-ji. She always had. She wanted the glamorous life, when I was coming and going often from the mainland, with a great deal of my resources to spend. Then when I grew more involved with the aiji’s affairs and my coming and going grew more irregular, and sometimes fraught with public controversy, even assassination attempts—she wanted quiet and safety. You know she married once, a man who could provide that comfort. That contract was brief. Now, it seems she has chosen Toby, and the boat. I think it the best choice she ever made. Toby is an excellent man.”

“We all think extremely well of nand’ Toby,” she said, undoubtedly speaking for the staff, and added with a slight lift of the brow: “I shall accept her presence if she behaves well.”

“Do,” he said, laying his hand on hers, and then, thinking that, above all else, Jago had some reason to wonder what she would never ask: “But, Jago-ji, my regard is entirely for you. You need never wonder. You have no equal, in that regard.”

She cleared her throat quietly, both hands on the rail. Dared one believe she had wondered where Barb stood with him? Dared one think, dared one believe—possibly—Jago might be just a little jealous?

“Shall I protect this person?” Jago asked, out of her generous heart.

“As you would Toby, Jago-ji. But only as you would Toby.”

“Yes,” she said, that absolute agreement, and seemed peculiarly satisfied with that equation he established, Barb with Toby, a set, an established set she could indeed figure. He looked at her—the wind fluttering the ends of her braid, her dark face now completely calm and satisfied as she gazed out at the onrushing sea, and his heart warmed. Jago could by no means imagine what he felt; no more than he could quite grasp what she felt, that attachment that settled her whole universe into order around him and her duty more surely than love had a right to order his. He wished he could feel what she felt, for just ten minutes. His universe was so often chaotic, his certainties far fewer, his loyalties pulled in so many conflicting directions, always had been, until he felt habitually stretched to the breaking point.

But he’d known, when he became—romantically, on his side, at least—involved with Jago, whose sole statement, relayed through Banichi, was that she was attracted to his hair—he’d known that he’d gotten into territory with her he never would entirely understand. It involved a constant element of experimentation on her side, along with a kind of commitment fiercer and more lasting, he suspected, than a human could find outside parental love . . . sex having apparently nothing to do with it. He brought his badly-battered sense of human romantic involvement; she brought her own healthy and solid atevi attachment to her appointed leader; and they patched together an arrangement that he at least hoped satisfied both of them in all the healthy ways. He had never wanted to hold her to him if their arrangement ever became a burden to her, emotionally or otherwise . . . including if she wanted children, an impossibility between them—though one supposed two years with Cajeiri might have altered that, if the notion had ever taken root. He never wanted to hold her longer than entertained them both, but he knew, looking at her now, that she’d made herself ever so comfortable a spot in his heart—a comfort he never wanted to give up, not for any human connection that might explode into his chemical awareness.

He thought her notion toward him might be the same, that atevi fondness for well-worn places, comfortable associations, ancestral items, everything forever in place,
hers
, with every sense of permanency.

So now she had met her rival, and had heard the hierarchy of man’chi laid out in his own words.

So in her atevi universe, maybe—maybe it had reassured her and made her content. She looked to be. But what could he know? He was the translator, but certain things forever baffled him.

They talked about inconsequential things as the water rushed past the bow. They constantly meant something else. He wanted her, now that they had talked about their relationship—it had put him in mind of certain things and there was absolutely no place of privacy to be had, unless one counted the cabins below, which were exceedingly small for an ateva’s comfort, and
everybody
would know why they went below. He didn’t want to see his brother’s amused look. Or the dowager’s.

Or worst of all, Barb’s. And that realization almost made him inclined to do it anyway, but he would not embarrass Jago, not run the risk, however remote.

He contented himself with being next to her, with feeling her warmth in the chill wind.

In that state of affairs, Toby came up to them.

“I figure to put us into Naigi Shoals,” Toby said, “if that suits. The wind will hold fair long enough. It’s likely to come up a real blow by tomorrow, and I’d rather be away from the shore. That area is pretty deserted, except for fishermen. And I’d rather run by sail, conserving fuel.”

“He proposes a landing in the Naigi shallows,” Bren translated. “Near Cobo. And says the wind alone will carry us there.”

“One will propose it to the others,” Jago said.

“She says they’ll discuss it,” Bren said, and was not surprised when Jago left to do just that, Banichi and Cenedi alike being very familiar with all that coast, and Tano even more so.

“Damn, it’s good to see your face,” Toby said, for no reason, except they’d had only yesterday evening to talk, and so much to say, and no time, and topics—

God, so many topics they’d skirted round, that had to be said sometime.

“Good to see yours—I wrote you a letter. It’s—it’s way too long to print out, unless you just happen to have a couple of reams of paper aboard. I’m not kidding. It’s about a thousand pages. But I have the file. I wrote you every day I was gone. You and Tabini, each a letter, just my thoughts, day to day, what I was doing, where I was, as much as I knew at the time . . .”

“I’d like to have it.”

“I’ll give it to you before I leave. I imagine parts of it might better be classified. And I’ll leave it to you whether you want to take on that burden. If you want me to edit it and give it to you later, I will. But I’d like you to have the whole copy. So you understand.”

“I’d like the whole copy, too,” Toby said. “If there’s stuff to know—I want to know, if you can trust me with it. I’d rather know, and then maybe I can be some help.”

“I trust you. I just know what it can mean to your life to carry that kind of information. It could mean watching over your shoulder until everything in that letter ceases to be secret, and maybe after that, if you’ve gotten involved in my business. I’m not sure it’s worth it. I’m not sure it’s worth it for Barb, and don’t just drop it on her. She knows how to keep a secret.” The sinking thought came to him that he might, in giving Toby that letter, be driving an unintended wedge between them. “Use your own discretion, but if you tell her it exists, she’ll want to see it.”

“Do I want her to see it?”

“There’s nothing in there about her, nothing bad, nothing good, either. It’s about us. Where we were. And that’s plenty dangerous.When I wrote it, I didn’t know what they’d classify and what not, and now that this has blown up on the mainland—I don’t know. I think I’m going to blow it wide and see where the pieces fall. But I have to think about that. And if you don’t want it, if you don’t want the whole question, in consideration of Barb—I’ll understand. I should have given a copy to Shawn, for the information in it. I’d intended to clean the private stuff out and do that, and now there’s not going to be time.”

“I know what to edit.”

“And that means getting into it. And getting Barb into it. The more I think about it—hell, Toby, I’m risking your boat, I’m risking your neck and hers—I never meant to risk your peace of mind and your private life.”

Toby’s hand landed on his shoulder, squeezed hard. “You worry too much.”

“I worry for a living. I have to think of these things. And they’re real considerations.”

“I know they are. So what’s the classified part?”

“Aliens.”

“That they’re a threat?”

“The ones we met, nothing imminent. Not to be trifled with, but probably manageable. But there’s more than the kyo out there. A much wider universe than we ever imagined existed. A new referent. A new way of thinking. Hazards we may already be involved in.”

“So what’s a letter between brothers more or less? Is the news out there that bad?”

“It may be good, or bad, or the usual scary mix of things. It’ll still touch off the crazies.”

“Oh, God, everything touches off the crazies. That’s why they’re crazy. Give me your letter, silly brother. I don’t have that much paper, but I’ve got a computer aboard, for my charts.”