Determinant -Guardians of Vesturon [3] (21 page)

Maddie looked toward me and said, “January, they are a disgusting bunch of creeps and I wish we could blow them into oblivion!”

I was mortified by her vehemence. “Maddie, I’ve never heard you spout such hatred before.”

“Yeah, well I have good reason. They abducted Rayn and tortured him and I don’t take kindly to them for that. But even before that happened, I served as an ambassador to Xanthus. They are nothing but a bunch of lying, cheating scoundrels. Rowan, I told you we needed to get rid of them all!”

By this time Rayn had walked over to Maddie and placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. They looked at each other, Maddie stood up and Rayn turned to his father and said, “Please excuse us, my lord,” and they left the room.

“Neither of them have any use for the Xanthians,” Rykerian said. “I am talking out of turn here, but this is a very difficult subject for them.”

“I can understand why!”

Rowan shifted in his seat and rubbed the back of his neck.

“We are heading into very difficult times I am afraid. This pestilence on Earth, the gartha situation on Brutyn, and now the rebels on Xanthus just to name a few. I fear our safety during space travel. I have ordered all travel, other than teleporting, to be closely scrutinized,” he concluded. Rowan’s brow was furrowed and his eyes had darkened with worry.

He turned to Rykerian saying, “I am pulling everyone out of here other than you, Kennar and the rest of your team. I need Maddie and Rayn, as well as Tesslar back on Vesturon. You are to remain in charge here. Keep close tabs on the pandemic and I expect daily reports on the progress. Watch for any shifts. The vaccine is in the proper hands and we must leave it to the humans to take care of the rest...restoring order and so forth. Step in where and when you need to, but only if necessary.”

Rowan rose to his feet, looking worn and weary, and we all followed. “Be safe my son and take care of January.” He smiled before continuing, “But I do not think I need to tell you that do I?”

“No, my liege, you do not,” Rykerian answered with a smile. “Please give Mother my love.”

“I always do, my son.” They embraced and Rykerian led me out of the room and back up to the house.

I needed to speak to Maddie before she left. I excused myself from Rykerian telling him I wanted to find her. I searched everywhere except her bedroom. I didn’t dare go up there for I had a feeling she was locked inside with Rayn.

My feet carried me to the large den and I plopped down on one of the many cushy sofas that dotted the room. I couldn’t help but think how incredible this house was. It was comfortable yet elegant but had that mountain feel at the same time. The vaulted ceiling in the den was made of gigantic timbers and the massive rock fireplace only emphasized the height of the ceiling even more.

I was sitting there, lost in my thoughts when Rayn flew down the stairs with Maddie on his heels.

“You can’t go alone Rayn. Please listen to me!” she begged.

“It is just a routine mission Maddie. I am only staying here—no intergalactic travel. I must check out that rogue space traveler they’ve tagged.”

“But that’s what you did last time and they captured you! Please... I’m begging you. Don’t go out there alone,” she urged in a tearful voice.

Maddie was visibly upset, wringing her hands and her voice was constricted with fear. I sucked in my breath when I saw her face and they must have heard me as they both looked my way.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it.”

“January, where is Rykerian?” Maddie wanted to know.

“I don’t know but he is around somewhere.”

As soon as I was on my feet, Rykerian was walking across the room.

“Rykerian, please talk some sense into Rayn. He wants to go out alone to investigate a rogue star traveler and I want him to take someone.” Maddie was trembling and still wringing her hands.

After a brief discussion, Rykerian agreed with Maddie so he gave the order that Kennar would accompany Rayn.

When they left, Maddie ran to Rykerian to hug and thank him. “I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to him again. I owe you Rykerian.”

“No Maddie. I couldn’t agree with you more. He should know better than to charge off without discussing this with anyone.”

After Maddie left, I wondered why Rayn would even think of doing anything like that.

“Because he is Rayn and that is what he does. He doesn’t want anyone else to take unnecessary risks yet he thinks nothing of putting himself in harm’s way,” Rykerian answered.

“How long will he be gone?”

“Maybe a couple of hours or so.”

I had a million questions about how everything worked and Rykerian started to fill me in little by little. The biggest question I had was how they could go into space undetected by radar. He explained that they used a system that shielded them, making them invisible to radar or other detection devices.

“We have the capability of putting up a veil or a power shield of sorts. It is an invisible form of protection that rearranges the radio waves and other detecting devices and deflects them, making it seem like nothing is there. It is somewhat like your Stealth technology here, only better. A lot better,” he said smiling.

It made me wonder about all the cool things that Vesturon had. Would I ever travel there? And what would that be like?

“As soon as it is safe to do so, I will take you there myself in a Star Transporter. I think you would enjoy the ride. We also have the option of teleporting there if you’d like. You could even go with Maddie and Rayn later today,” he suggested.

“Oh no... I don’t think I’m ready to go just yet. But I do want to someday.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maddie heading toward the back of the house. I needed to speak with her...I needed to confide in someone about my confused feelings concerning Rykerian, I mused. Again, I had forgotten about his ability to hear my thoughts.

“I urge you to speak with her January if it will make you feel better.”

I felt my face flaming and I was stricken with a severe case of shyness. I would have to practice shielding my thoughts, as it was a huge embarrassment for me when he heard my deepest darkest secrets.

He was at my side before I could blink. He tilted my head back and our eyes locked.

“Please don’t ever be embarrassed about your thoughts of me, no matter what they are,” he whispered. “There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.”

I could only shake my head in response before he claimed my lips for the briefest of kisses. Then he said, “Go and speak with Maddie. I believe you need each other right now.”

Rykerian had such a tenderness about him and he always seemed to say the right thing. I made my way to the back terrace in search of Maddie. She was sitting in my favorite spot looking up at the sky. “I pray for his safe return,” she said as she heard my approach.

“I know you are going crazy right now.”

“Oh January, if you could have seen him when I pulled him out of the Xanthian prison, you would have a better understanding. It was a horrible time for us. I had done some incredibly stupid things, like going to the Academy for Guardians behind his back. I was afraid to tell him for fear he would pitch a fit. Then I had a run-in with another student there who was insanely jealous of me and intent on getting rid of me. She abducted me and left me for dead. It’s a long story, but if it hadn’t been for Saylan, and then Xarrid who found me, I wouldn’t be here right now. When Rayn found out about that, he totally flipped out. We didn’t speak for a long, long time. It was his capture by the Xanthians that brought us back together. He went to investigate a rogue Star Fighter and it was a trap. They took him to Xanthus and it was weeks before anyone told me. I was serving as an ambassador at the time and was stationed in the farthest sector of the universe. Anyway, it was an awful time and I just worry to death about him in times like these,” she concluded.

“Well, it’s not like you don’t have good reason to.”

“So tell me...you and Rykerian, huh?” she said with a conspiratorial smile.

I could feel my cheeks flushing. Why did this always happen to me, I pondered?

“Yeah, and I’d kind of like to talk to you about that,” I mumbled.

“Sure thing, but let me say this first. Rykerian is top-notch January. He is also the most sensitive guy I’ve ever been around. I mean, he is so tenderhearted, I sometimes feel sorry for him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you can see how easily he blushes. Sometimes he’s so quiet and introspective. He’s told me he feels like people are constantly judging him. I also think he gets tired of all the girls that try to smother him. It’s obvious why, but he honestly hates all that attention. When I first came here, he was so shy...painfully so. I thought he didn’t like me. But he’s extremely loyal and would never do anything dishonorable. He is true January. And so attractive, don’t you think?”

“You’re kidding, right? Attractive is an understatement. I mean look at him! That hair, those eyes, that smile, and that body...gah! He couldn’t be more perfect. But I don’t know...I’m really scared by all of this. It’s happened so fast. And I have zero experience with boys. Maddie, I’ve never even been on a stupid date! I’m a total dork.”

“January, I was exactly the same way. I guess I had dated a few boys, but nothing major. Then this unbelievable guy comes barreling into my life, sweeping me off my feet and nothing’s been the same since. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. If you only knew...” she said as a far-away look came into her eyes.

I was trying to process everything she was telling me. It seemed we were on the same track but at different times.

“Listen to me January. I’m not ever going to tell you what to do because I’m a firm believer that you have to make up your own mind about this type of thing. But Rykerian is good...I mean oh-my-gosh good. He will never do anything to hurt you and your safety and
your
happiness will always come first for him—before
anything
else. Vesturions are weird when it comes to relationships, trust me. They’re totally different than humans. Humans take everything lightly. Not Vesturions. They bond with each other. Their souls unite, as well as their hearts and minds. Once they’re in love, there is no falling out of it. It is a lifelong thing for them. But it’s a good thing. They cherish their mates and respect them. Rayn says it best...he says they hold their mates in the highest esteem and with the greatest of reverence. It’s totally
epic
January. I’m not trying to sway you in any way, but I know exactly the kind of turmoil you are facing. I would gladly walk through the fires of hell for my mate and wouldn’t trade my life with him for
anything in the universe
.”

I tried to digest what she was telling me but I was still having difficulty believing in myself, much less that someone like Rykerian had a serious interest in me.

“I just don’t feel like I deserve him Maddie. I mean I’m such a failure. Everything in my life has been such a tortuous mess. And look at me! I’m a gangling, gawky, strange looking thing,” I insisted, my hands gesticulating in front of me.

Maddie grabbed one of my hands and gave it a squeeze. “Look January, first of all you’re not a strange looking thing. You’re beautiful, but you don’t see that. Most nineteen year olds are uncomfortable with their appearance. I know I was and so was Cat. The only one I’ve ever known that wasn’t was Carlson and that’s because her mother told her a million times a day how wonderfully perfect she was. I can tell you this too: Rykerian doesn’t see you the same way you do. I know this by the way he looks at you. He smiles constantly when you’re around too. And you’re most certainly not a failure!” she insisted.

“I have to disagree with you on that one. I almost flunked out of school Maddie. I lost my scholarship. I had to change my major because there was no way I would ever have gotten into medical school with my grades,” I confessed.

“Let me ask you something. How many hours a week were you working when all this started happening? Thirty or forty?”

I nodded saying, “Yeah, something like that.”

“And how many hours were you carrying? Fifteen or eighteen?”

“Yeah, I took eighteen the last two semesters.”

“So you were working two jobs at about forty hours per week and taking eighteen hours and you say you failed because you lost your scholarship?”

I nodded again.

She snorted and said, “You’re nuts January. No one can burn the candle at both ends like you did and come out unscathed. Not to mention what you were dealing with as far as your family was concerned. I’m surprised you were able to retain any semblance of sanity!”

Maddie sprang to her feet and stated pacing. She came to a stop in front of me and grabbed my hands, pulling me to my feet. Then she dragged me to the edge of the terrace and pointed to the mountains in the distance.

“Tell me January, what do you see out there?”

“The mountains...well, one in particular.”

“Yeah, and you know what? How do you climb a mountain like that?”

I looked at her and shrugged. I puzzled over where she was headed with this.

“The way you climb a mountain is one step at a time. But you weren’t able to do that and do you know why? Because someone kept pushing you back down. Every time you made some headway, someone was in front of you forcing you back to the bottom. It was either your parents, your job, your classes, your finances...but there was always something or someone pushing you backwards.”

I thought about what she was saying to me for a second. “But Maddie, I don’t think I’m capable of making it to the top. I did at one time. I really thought starting all over at Western would be my big chance, but I failed at it too.”

“That’s the biggest wad of malarkey I’ve ever heard! You’re brilliant January. You graduated from high school when you were sixteen years old. You were the class valedictorian, you made a perfect score on your SAT’s and you made straight A’s all the way through school. You’re the only one I know who scored a perfect five on all her AP courses too. I would even go so far to bet that if your circumstances had been different, you would have made straight A’s at Western. If things had been different I know your grades would have been perfect. But think about this. If your grades had been perfect, would you have done that internship in Atlanta?” I wondered where she was going with this.