Determinant -Guardians of Vesturon [3] (6 page)

*****

The week after New Year’s would bring that feeling of comfort to a screeching halt. Maddie had gone backpacking over Christmas and was supposed to go to Cat’s for New Year’s. She never called or showed up. She simply fell off the face of the Earth.

The search parties checked everywhere for weeks and the only things they found were her backpack and a bloody sleeping bag. They brought in search and rescue dogs but were unable to find anything. Her scent disappeared off the trail and the dogs could never pick it back up. She had simply vanished into thin air.

I never had been afforded the chance to sleep much before, but now my nights were filled with scary dreams. The churning tension in my belly threatened to erupt every day. I could hardly bear the thought of her in the hands of a kidnapper. Or what if she had been lying somewhere injured, with no one to help her? How could this have happened? I couldn’t get those awful thoughts out of my head.

“Wake up January!”

What? Who’s that?

“January! Wake up! Come on, you’re scaring me. Wake UP!”

Someone was shaking me…and hard. I struggled to open my eyes. My lids felt like they were glued together. I hoisted myself on to my elbows and opened my eyes to see Carlson’s face right in front of me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“You were screaming in your sleep. You scared the daylights out of me!” She was clearly agitated.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. I was, in fact, relieved she had woken me up. I had been dreaming about my parents and that was something I wanted to keep buried.

“I guess it’s all the strain of Maddie’s disappearance.”

“I guess so. Don’t do that again, okay?”

“I’ll try Carlson,” I said drily. As if there was any way I could control it.

If I thought my dreams were bad, they were nothing compared to what Cat was experiencing. To put it bluntly, she was going crazy. She and Maddie had become inseparable, almost like sisters. They were the best of friends and Cat was struggling with all of this.

“Any word?” Cat asked as she barged through the door.

“Nope,” I answered, kicking my toe against the doorjamb. We would repeat this sequence daily. Somehow, Cat and I were steadfast in our refusal to give up hope.

One day though, I came home and Cat was grinning from ear to ear.

“You are not going to believe this!”

“What…don’t keep me hanging!” I yelled.

“She’s back! They found her! You won’t believe this but she showed up last night at the hospital down in Spartanburg. Random, I know. It’s pretty weird too because the hospital doesn’t know how she got there. The staff said that one minute she wasn’t there, and the next minute she was!”

“I’m not following you,” I said.

“Well get this. Maddie doesn’t remember a thing either. Nothing at all. She doesn’t know where she’s been or what happened to her. The doctors say she had some bones that were broken but have pretty much healed. The bad news is that her spine was injured so she’s lost the use of her legs.”

“Oh no!” I couldn’t imagine that. What must Maddie be feeling?

“But she’s okay otherwise. This whole thing has been so bizarre!” I could tell Cat was on cloud nine with joy.

“Yeah, definitely bizarre. This is hard to process.” I was dazed.

“I know. I’m heading down there tomorrow to see her. You want to come?”

“Yeah! Oh darn. I can’t. I have hours at the bookstore and Karl won’t let me switch. I’m sorry. Please tell her how happy I am she’s back!”

While we were ecstatic she was alive and as well as could be expected, we were heartsick over what she had endured along with the fact that she had decided not to return to Western. We all attempted to change her mind, but she was adamant about staying in Spartanburg. Cat was devastated by this but she understood that Maddie was much more comfortable in her home and we realized it was the best decision for her.

We visited her several times and she was making awesome progress. She even had learned to drive. We’d joke about how she was hell on wheels. She wasn’t the greatest of drivers before, but now…well, get the women and kids off the road. Maddie was clumsy at best, but behind the wheel of a car without the use of her legs…it was a scary thought indeed! I finally felt the burning pain in my stomach ease and at last I was able to eat. It was short-lived though.

*****

A couple of months later we were reliving the nightmare. I can still remember the look on Cat’s face when she answered her phone that fateful day.

“Hiya!” Cat said. She liked to answer the phone like that. She loved how goofy it sounded.

“What?...No! When?...Call me as soon as you know something!”

The look on Cat’s face was frightening.

“She’s gone again,” she whispered.

Maddie left Cat’s cell phone number as next of kin with her home health care nurses. One day, when they went to her house, Maddie was gone. She had vanished again and this time it was seemed she wasn’t coming back.

Several scenarios went through our minds…suicide for one. Except nothing added up. She had seemed happy. Her nurses even said she was spunky and in great spirits. The police couldn’t find any evidence of foul play. It was baffling.

During our last visit, Cat and I both noticed that Maddie had been a bit agitated. She had complained of headaches but the doctors said that was part of her recovery and they would diminish as time went on. I knew something was fishy, but again, the police couldn’t find a trace of anything to indicate what might have happened.

Nothing from her home was missing, not even any clothing. Everything was intact and the only fingerprints the police located were the nurses’ and Maddie’s. Everyone was downright perplexed by the situation.

I had even begged Seth to see if he could help since he was connected to the police force.

“January, this isn’t something you want to hear, but I talked to the detective in charge of Maddie’s case and there isn’t a shred of evidence. They’ve dug into as much as they can, but nothing is missing. I hate to ask you this but are you sure she didn’t…you know, maybe take her own life?” Seth asked one afternoon over the phone.

“Seth, I know Maddie and she wouldn’t do something like that. And, if on the off chance she did, I know she would’ve left a note or something. She wasn’t depressed like that either. People just don’t disappear into thin air Seth!”

“Calm down January. Getting all riled up like this won’t help.”

“Well, someone has to,” I shouted into the phone. “Something’s happened to her and we need to find out. She may need our help. Someone has kidnapped her or something. She didn’t go anywhere. How could she? Her car is still at her house and she can’t walk for cryin’ out loud!”

“Okay. Look, I’ll keep checking with the detective, but calm down January. You’re being upset won’t help us find her any faster,” he admonished.

“I suppose you’re right but Cat and I feel like you all are just not doing enough to find her.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to mention this, but they’ve ruled out kidnapping. Kidnappers always demand a ransom, and there haven’t been any demands at all,” he informed me.

“What if someone abducted her and they don’t want a ransom. What if they want her dead or something?” My voice had risen again.

“January, get a hold of yourself. Let me worry about that on this end. I’ll let you know just as soon as something turns up, okay?”

“You promise?”

“Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“No,” I said sullenly. “And Seth...thanks. You know I appreciate you doing this.”

I hit “end” and kicked the wall.

“There’s nothing Cat.”

“How can that be January? What can we do?” Cat asked.

I shook my head, not knowing what else to say or do. I could hear her thoughts and how upset she was. She wanted to help find Maddie, but didn’t know how.

Weeks turned into months and Cat’s state of mind deteriorated. I was worried to death about her because she would barely speak to anyone.
Cat, why won’t you talk to me?
Her wooden responses to my questions were scaring me. The end of the semester was upon us and she hadn’t attended classes for weeks. She had sequestered herself in her room and only did the bare necessities to get by.

Her parents came to move her home and they both shuddered at her appearance. She was wan and haggard and had lost a great deal of weight. They were as emotionless as the rest of us as they robotically crammed her things into bins and boxes.

Her dad walked her to the car and stuffed her into the passenger’s seat. I followed them out but I wasn’t sure of what to say. It was awkward for everyone. I reached through the window and squished Cat in a hug as I felt tears tracking down my cheeks. She never even lifted her arms to hug me back.

“I’ll call you Cat. Take care of yourself,” I sobbed. I looked at her dad as he stepped into her car to drive off, but he gave no indication he even saw me. I stood in the parking lot for a long time staring at the empty parking space before I went back inside.

Two Years Later

I had just turned nineteen and my second and third years of college were behind me. My grades were horrible. Try as I might, I couldn’t seem to bring them up. I had lost my academic scholarship and my student loans were probably more than I could ever repay. My freshman year had destroyed me, and the last two years I had struggled to recover, but my mind didn’t want to cooperate. I kept thinking things would turn around, but I had this ball and chain called bad luck I couldn’t break free from.

After all this time, Cat still suffered from deep depression. She had been hospitalized for a time, and for weeks she wasn’t allowed any phone calls. She was eventually released but still lived at home. She took classes at the local college, and had made tiny improvements, but she never quite recovered from Maddie’s disappearance. For some reason, she blamed herself, even though none of it was her fault. I still called her daily but our conversations, if you could even call them that, were repetitious.

I punched in her cell number.
Please answer and be the Cat I used to know.

“Hey January,” the dull, lifeless voice drifted over the phone.

“Cat. Um, how’re you doing today?” I prayed for the right answer.

“Same, I guess.” Gone was the vivacious young woman I had once known. In her place was a wooden doll, barely able to converse with me.

“Cat, I want you to get better.”

“I know. I’m trying January. How are you? Still working crazy hours?” The questions were asked out of courtesy and not because of her desire to know.

“Always. Work and school. I miss you and…” my voice trailed away. I almost said Maddie but stopped before I totally screwed things up. I didn’t want to add to her burden…she had enough on her plate right now. “I miss the way things used to be.”

“Yeah, I miss that too. Things sure ended up different, didn’t they?”

My finger traced the outline of my phone as I spoke. “Yeah, different. An understatement. If you want I can come visit,” I suggested, my voice hesitant, knowing what her answer would be. It was the same every time.

“Thanks, but I’m not up to that yet. Okay? Reminds me of the bad stuff.”

“Okay. I understand. Just let me know when you are. Take care, Cat. I mean, well, just take care. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hit the end button and absently massaged the gnawing ache in my belly that was my constant companion.

What a couple of years! Could it get any worse?
Gawd, I hope not. I can’t take much more.
I hadn’t talked to Tommy or Sarah in over two years, Maddie’s disappearance had never been solved and Cat was in Asheville still recovering from her breakdown. My grades stunk, I lost my scholarship and I had been fired from my job at the bookstore for my bad attitude. What chaos my life was.

I stared at myself in the mirror and the pathetic image looking back at me shocked me.
Is this really me?
I was a bad awful mess. My weight had dropped to nothing. I was skin and bones and my stomach had never recovered from its carnival ride. I knew I had major issues, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. My palms stayed sweaty, along with the rest of me, and my nails were chewed to the quick. My white stringy hair had never been attractive, but it was downright ugly now. The dark purple circles beneath my eyes emphasized the hollows of my cheeks, making them much more pronounced. They could probably qualify as caves. Even the great food at the Purple Onion hadn’t helped. Mainly because I could barely choke it down whenever I attempted to eat it. Nerves…anxiety…worry…call it what you will but I was riddled with it.

My dreams of medical school had been ripped totally away. I couldn’t work full time, go to school full time, keep my grades up with these courses and continue to live through this nightmare of a life. My attitude wasn’t pleasant either. I had no friends and who could blame anyone? I snapped at everyone and was downright surly.

One shining star was that I had been offered a summer internship at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, working in the microbiology department. It was a surprise to me at how I landed it, but it would be a full time paid internship in which I would earn six credit hours. It was the first time I felt excited about anything in a long time! I adored microbiology and had changed my major to it since I had all but given up on medical school. At least I would be able to find employment with that degree.

I would be moving to Emory University the next day to start at the CDC. I had booked up my work hours so I could have some extra cash and tonight was my last shift at the Purple Onion until I returned in August.

The evening went well. The summer tourists were beginning to arrive and I was surprised when Lou told me we would be closing early. Usually he had extended hours this time of year. At ten o’clock, I escorted the last patrons out of the restaurant and locked the doors behind them.

I went back in the kitchen to see what I could pilfer to eat, but all the lights had been turned off. My heart leapt in my chest because a few minutes ago, the room had been filled with employees. As I fumbled in the dark, suddenly the room was blazing in light and everyone was yelling, “Surprise!”