Determination (44 page)

Settling back in my chair, I watched, and rather than the jealousy and spite I had thought would consume me, what I really felt was pride.

Brian looked gorgeous and worked with a professionalism other guys should envy. He didn’t even flinch when a brass bowl fell off the side table and clanged loudly on the floor, though Drake jumped. He was helpful and patient when the other man had trouble getting the condom on. Brian did everything he could to make the scene go smoothly because, as a part owner, he had a stake in how it came out. That showed clearly in his perfectionist attitude.

The scenes took a long time because it seemed like Drake took forever to finish. During a break, he complained loudly and to anyone who would listen that he was used to going bareback. The condoms Hartley supplied just weren’t comfortable. I wanted to slap him and tell him no one thought condoms were comfortable, but I simply stayed in my chair and watched Brian get more and more irritated as afternoon turned to evening.

“Okay, Scott, over the ottoman, and Drake, let’s get this done,”

Nick told them to end their last break. Brian laid his chest over the ottoman and waited. Drake drove in again without preamble, and the pain in Brian’s face didn’t register on camera, but I saw it. I’d been in his place more than once; he needed more lube. Nick kept filming, and I wondered what he noticed, if anything. Mike, Alex, and Brandon had disappeared at some point during the last break, and I wondered if I should say something. Protecting Brian became the overwhelming thought in my head, but he wouldn’t thank me if they needed to start over again. They didn’t get paid for what Nick couldn’t sell—that had always been the rule.

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Thankfully, though, Drake appeared to be close because his thrusts sped and his breathing became labored. I doubted Brian got off at all during the scene. He’d probably jack himself after it was all over just to get it on camera.

Drake finished, finally, but rather than pulling out like he should have, he drove Brian into the ottoman and held him down. All that, and Nick didn’t even get his money shot.

“Goddamn it,” Nick muttered next to me as Drake leaned down and kissed the back of Brian’s neck. “Cut it, Julio,” he said quietly and then waited a minute until he was sure the recording had stopped. Then he glared at Drake. “What the hell was that?”

“The condom broke. I couldn’t pull out without it showing on film,” he said calmly, and Brian jerked beneath him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Brian asked and crawled from under the big man. I saw something drip down his leg and pushed past the camera to help Brian to his feet.

“When was the last time you were tested?” I asked, getting right in the bigger man’s face. My chest bumped against his, and he must have seen something in my face because he took a step back. Even naked, he could have put me in the hospital if he had a mind to, but my concern for Brian took priority even over my own safety. This random guy had just put the man I loved at serious risk.

“Dylan, back off,” Nick said with quiet authority as Julio stepped between us. “Brian, go upstairs and douche. Get out as much as you can. Drake, answer his question.” I noticed he called Brian by his real name. Apparently the two had become friends offscreen because Nick looked furious at Drake.

“Uhm…,” Drake said, and looked up at the ceiling as Brian stormed past him headed for the stairs. “About six months ago, I guess.”

“Goddamn it, you’re going right now, and don’t ever expect to work for any reputable studio again. What would make you think it was fine to bareback in my studio?” Nick’s voice never went above a whisper, but the menace in it made it scarier than if he’d screamed it.

“You know I can’t use this, right? So, get back in that piece-of-crap Determination

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Camry blocking my driveway, go back to LA, and get tested. I expect to have results by the weekend for him. Do you understand me?”

“And if I don’t?” Braver men have probably stood up to Nick Hartley, but Drake wasn’t one of them.

“If you don’t, you won’t work for
any
studio again. In fact, you may not work in any other industry again. You get me?” Nick’s eyes flashed dangerously, and I saw Drake swallow as I passed him on my way upstairs to check on Brian. The front door slammed just as I reached the bathroom.

I knocked but didn’t get any response.

“Honey, it’s me. Can I come in?” I asked quietly through the door and heard a click on the other side. An enema bulb lay on the counter, wet and shiny with soap. He seemed to have just finished because he moved over to the far wall and turned on the shower.

“I can’t believe this. No one has ever…. You haven’t even….

God damn it,” he yelled as he hurled a bottle of body wash against the shower wall. With a sigh, he picked it up and stepped through the glass door. Without hesitation, I locked the bathroom door behind me and pulled off my clothes. It took me just a few minutes to join him in the shower and wrap my arms around his waist.

“He sent Drake to get tested, but you need to get tested too,” I murmured against the soft, wet skin of his neck. He reached back and threaded his fingers in my hair, holding me against him. I felt a barely noticeable tremor in his hand, which meant he was either furious or scared, though it may have been a bit of both.

“I know,” he whispered. “I’m going to have to wait a couple of weeks for anything to show up.” I nodded against his neck, and we stood there for a long time just holding each other under the hot spray.

When he needed to turn the water hotter because it started to run cold, I stepped back and let him wash up quickly. I loved the way the water flowed down the tight muscles in his chest and abs, sliding over his sweet hips as he put his head back to rinse his hair. God, he was so beautiful my heart clenched at the sight.

I took a step forward again, wrapping my arms around his neck this time. He looked up at me and smiled.

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“Move in with me,” I said quietly. “I have a huge college fund that we can live on for a while until I graduate. You don’t have to do this anymore if you don’t want to.” My fingers stroked his face, sliding effortlessly over his wet skin. “I love you, Brian. I want to be with you.”

“Your dad is going to have a stroke,” he replied, but the grin on his face and the love in his eyes told me he wanted to accept what I offered. “I’m not leaving porn, but I’d love to find a place together.”

He leaned forward and kissed me deeply, silencing any protest I could have made. He was upset about what happened earlier, so I didn’t push him. We could talk about it later—hopefully as we looked for an apartment.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said as I stepped back and looked around the small bathroom for a towel. It didn’t take us long to get dried off and dressed. Brian didn’t want to linger as they filmed Mike, Alex, and Brandon in the living room. They were just getting started when we came downstairs.

“We’re going to take off,” Brian said in a voice that brooked no argument. Mike and Alex gave him a hug while Brandon waved from over near the couch. Nick relayed the conversation he’d had with Drake and promised he’d tell Brian as soon as he had Drake’s test results.

Brian nodded and took my hand, leading us out of the house.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I took it out to turn the sound back on before I forgot. Brian looked over as he climbed into the Jeep.

“I almost forgot. What did your lawyer say? Did he meet with the DA?”

“Damn, I totally forgot about that.” I slid my finger over the display to unlock the phone and saw I had a bunch of text messages and two voice mails. I skipped over the text messages and went straight into the voice mail. The first one was from my dad, asking if I needed a ride home from school. I’m sure I probably had at least one or two texts from him as well. The second voice mail was from my lawyer.

“James, this is Darren Troska. I just got out of a meeting with the district attorney, and after careful negotiation, he has agreed to knock Determination

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down the charge to a misdemeanor. That means he’s going to recommend two years’ probation and no jail time. I think, considering their evidence, it’s a fair deal, and I would encourage you to take it.

Please give me a call when you get this. My number is—” I hit the button to stop the message and stared out the window. I was going to be on probation for the next two years? I didn’t really know how to feel about that. Part of me felt like Steven just kept screwing me from the grave. The drugs weren’t even mine, and I was in trouble for them. But the more rational part of me was thrilled that I wouldn’t be going to jail.

“What? Jamie?” Brian asked and pulled up one knee into the seat with him so he turned completely toward me. “You’re killing me here.”

“My lawyer said that the DA agreed to two years’ probation,” I said quietly. Brian leaned over and put his hand on my cheek, stroking the hair just behind my ear with the tips of his fingers.

“It could have been so much worse,” he whispered and then drew me forward to rest my head on his chest. He was right, of course. I could have gone to prison and been away from him and my dad, lost my place in school, lost my friends and everything else in my life. I should consider myself very lucky, but somehow, I didn’t.

“Let’s just go to my dad’s place. Can you stay?” I murmured into his chest and felt him nod against my hair. “I need to call my lawyer and see what happens now.” Sitting up, I waited until he’d started the Jeep and threw it into reverse before I looked up the call I’d received from Mr. Troska and hit the option to call him back.

“Troska, Bernadot, and Miller, how may I assist you?” a curt but pleasant female voice asked. My hand trembled a bit on my phone as Brian turned onto the street and headed out of the studio’s subdivision.

“My name is Jamie Mayfield, and Mr. Troska left me a message asking me to call.” I heard the fear in my voice and wondered if she could too. Brian heard it because he reached over and put his hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing.

“Please hold and I’ll see if Mr. Troska is available,” she said politely, and I silently prayed that he was. I didn’t want to keep waiting and waiting. The weeks after my arrest had been bad enough, 292

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wondering what was going to happen. I needed some kind of resolution so I could move on with my life. The line went silent for several minutes until the booming voice of my lawyer came on the other end.

“James, I’m glad you called. Did you listen to my message?”

“Yes, you said he’d agreed to probation. What happens now?” I asked and held on to the door handle to stop my hand from shaking.

My eyes closed as I rested my head back against the seat and took a long steadying breath. I tried to think about the different meditations I’d learned over the last few months.

“He’s going to set up a hearing with the judge and enter in your guilty plea. The judge will look at his recommendation for sentencing and probably just sign off on it. Very rarely does a judge change a recommendation for a plea agreement, because that’s the whole point of the negotiation,” he explained.

“How long before he schedules the hearing?”

“It will probably take four to six weeks, maybe less depending on how busy the court docket is. It’s a simple case with a plea agreement in place, so they may slide us in sooner rather than later. It all depends on what judge we draw.”

My head spun as I thanked him and hung up. It could take another month or two for the nightmare to be over. God, that would be right around the time of my finals… because I needed more stress. I’d probably already have a seizure in the middle of my Shakespeare final, though I didn’t think that would get me out of the exam. Dr. Platt was a real piece of work.

“How long?” Brian asked and turned onto the highway. I waited until he merged with the oncoming traffic before I answered so I didn’t distract him.

“Another month or two,” I sighed. “He said it could take four to six weeks to get a hearing. That’s also about the time I’m going to have final exams. I’ll probably have papers due, and I still have to make my meetings. What a mess.”

“Jamie, just take a breath. We’ll get it all figured out. Compared with all the other stuff that’s happening in your life right now, is a final exam really all that important?” Brian asked, and I opened my eyes to Determination

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look at him. He kept his eyes on the road, but his hand tightened on my knee.

“I guess not, but I really want to do well in school. When you and I are together, I want to be able to pull my own weight. You have enough to deal with being my boyfriend. You don’t need to support me too.” I rolled my eyes and stared out the window at the lights dancing past the car.

“I would—just like you would support me. We’re a team, Jamie.

We do what we can to make it work, right?” He took his hand off my knee and rested it on the back of my neck, not with any real pressure, just barely touching me.

“We’ll always be a team.”

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