Dev Dreams, Volume One (7 page)

“Not that she's willing to share with us,
anyway,” Paul said.

“Come on,” Jake said, “We've all known each
other forever and we're out of good stories. You're the fresh
blood, give us something good.”

“My life isn't for your entertainment,”
Sophie said, but she smiled and flushed slightly.

The front door opened and the twin's parents
came into the house. Mrs. Kenley saw them through the glass doors
of the living room when she walked into the hall. “Hi, kids,” she
said.

Alex quickly swiped the bottle of alcohol
under the coffee table.

Mrs. Kennley pulled off her coat. Sophie
admired the long wool coat and the swingy, sensual dress beneath.
Mr. Kenley took her coat for her and hung it and his in a
closet.

“We'll be out again in just a bit, have to
get changed,” she said, “You kids have a good time. Don't stay up
too late.”

Jake rolled his eyes at his brother, facing
away so his mother didn't see.

When the parents swept out the door again,
Sophie sighed and murmured, “Your mother is so elegant.”

“Yeah,Alex said without enthusiasm.

Jake laughed.

“What?” Sophie said.

“It comes with a price,” Jake said.

Alex pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his
pocket and lit one. Jake reached over and snatched it out of his
hands and put it out on his shoe. Alex took out another and lit
it.

“Your parents let you smoke in the house?”
Sophie said.

Alex shrugged. “As long as it isn't Jake,
what do they care?”

“Do you think your parents are happy?” Paul
asked suddenly. He had fished out the bottle of Brandy again and
took a little more.

“I never thought about it,” Alex said.

“I know mine aren't,” Paul said. “Don't know
how they got this way, I mean, they were like us once. Full of
ideas and plans to change the world. Now they're just our parents.
Living such small lives.”

“Our parents are still living grand lives,”
Alex said, “They didn't let having kids slow them down. They didn't
even want kids. Just did it because it was expected of them.” He
paused, dragged on the cigarette, then added, “And they only wanted
one.”

No one said anything for a while. There was
no denying that Jake got all their parents' attention.

“Sometimes I wonder,” Sophie said quietly,
“If it's my destiny to become a drunk like my dad.”

“How did they all get like this?” Paul
said.

“Did they give up on their ideals? Give up on
their dreams?” Sophie said.

“Maybe.” Paul and Sophie continued
discussing, both leaning forward towards the coffee table, ignoring
Alex and Jake.

“It's scary to go after what you really want.
Takes a lot of guts.”

“Well I don't want to end up like they
are.”

“I have an idea,” Sophie said, grinning.

“What's that?”

“Well,” she continued, “If our parents ended
up disappointed in life because they didn't go for something they
really wanted because of fear, we shouldn't let that happen to
us.”

“I'm with you.”

“I propose a pact. We all promise to do
something we're afraid of. Before we graduate in June.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Paul agreed and Alex perked
up.

“It's got to be something really big, though.
Something life changing.”

“Right. I'm in,” Paul announced.

“Me too,” Alex said.

“How are you going to pull this off, Sophie?”
Jake laughed. “You've got more fears than all of us combined. Which
will you pick?”

“None of your business,” she said. She
wondered how Jake knew about her many phobias. Did Alex talk about
her? What else did Jake know about her? What did he think?

“I'm part of this too,” Jake said.

“Oh yeah? You're going to join the geek gang
on something?” Paul said.

“Don't breathe a word of this at school,
that's all I ask,” Jake said.

***

“So the twins are turning 19? How did that
happen?” Sophie asked Paul while they waited at the movie theater
for Alex to buy his popcorn. Alex had asked them to come to
celebrate his birthday.

“Well,” Paul said, “Jake was held back in
fourth grade because they said he didn't know how to
socialize.”

“Jake? This is the same Jake we're talking
about?”

“Yes, our Mr. Popular. He was as charming at
ten as he is now, but he got involved in a fight with Derek and
they held him back to punish him.”

“That kid who thinks he's some hot shot
criminal?”

“That's the one.”

“Okay, but what about Alex? How come they're
still in the same grade?”

“This is the interesting part. Just a year
later Alex failed all of his classes. I mean, it was elementary
school, so they don't call it failing, but he didn't do any of the
work and he didn't pass any tests. So they held him back too. It
was pretty clear to me that he did on purpose because he had to be
with his brother. He's that way.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“So that's when I met them, when I was eight
and they had just turned ten.”

Sophie thought about the relationship between
the two brothers while they watched the movie. She was an only
child and didn't even have any cousins. She didn't know what this
bond was between Alex and Jake, but it was strong. It almost seemed
visible. Were all brothers like that? Were all twins like that? How
had they formed this team where Jake accomplished and Alex
supported?

After the movie, Alex drove first Paul home
and then Sophie. In the car, when they were alone, Sophie asked,
“Why didn't Jake come?”

“He's celebrating with his own friends,” Alex
said. “They'll probably be trying to sneak into clubs with fake
IDs. Hope you don't mind my celebration is quieter.”

“Ha! Thank goodness. I can't stand crowds and
noise.”

“I don't think Jake likes them much either.
He feels compelled to fit in and do what's expected of him.”

“And you don't?”

“I'm the support player. What I want always
comes second.”

“Why, though?”

Alex shrugged. He didn't seem at all
perturbed. “It's always been about Jake. It's okay.”

“No, it's not,” Sophie said. “Why do you
never complain, Alex?”

“He needs me.”

“You are too good. Seriously.”

Alex rolled down the window and lit a
cigarette. Sophie watched how he didn't even seem to notice he had
done it. She thought of how when Jake was around he always, without
fail, took the first one away, but Alex always lit a second.

***

“Did you know Sophie doesn't believe in
pencils?” Jake said as his brother walked onto the porch.

“Yes,” Alex said. He sat down on the stairs
opposite Jake.

“Isn't that weird, though?”

Alex shrugged. He pulled a cigarette from a
package in his pocket and put it in his mouth. Before he could
reach into the other pocket for his lighter, Jake had leaned across
the stairs and plucked the cigarette out of his mouth. Alex looked
at him, sighed, and said, “Did you think I came out here to listen
to you talk about Sophie?”

“She said the graphite bothered her, having
it on her hands and the sound the pencil tip makes on the paper.
Too soft. She's used only pens her whole life.”

“So she likes pens, so what?” Alex stood up
and walked a little ways into the garden to light his next
cigarette.

“It's just weird.”

“Shouldn't you be worrying about Lucy, not
Sophie? You remember her, right? Your girlfriend? Your anniversary
is coming up.”

“Damn, I almost forgot.”

Alex frowned across the lawn at his twin.
“You? You never forget things. You may not give a damn about your
anniversary, but you always go over the top anyway.”

Jake shrugged. “It's too easy,” he said. “She
wants all the typical things: flowers, dinner, compliments. It's
boring.”

“Not going to give up on her though, are you?
Thinking of dropping Lucy in favor of Sophie?”

“Sophie is messed up, that's what I've been
telling you.”

“I know. She is my friend.” Alex finished
smoking, ground out the stub on a stone and put it back in his
pocket. As he walked past Jake to go back into the house, he said,
“Leave the poor girl alone.”

***

The bell rang. Alex usually came in after
that, since he would be smoking outside. Today he didn't. Paul sat
down beside Sophie.

“Where's Alex?” Sophie had whispered at
him.

Paul shrugged. “Jake is missing too.”

“Really? That's weird.”

The teacher threw open the door and strode in
hunched over, looking like a frog. He began to take attendance.

“Lucy,” Paul hissed, leaning over the aisle.
A head of perfectly ringletted blonde hair turned and Lucy looked
down her nose at Paul.

Lucy was more perfectly composed than a china
doll. The bones along her neck and shoulders stood out because of
the way she held her body loftily with her hips slightly forward
and her slender waist bent back. Her mouth had a coy crease beside
it, giving her smile a tempting quality. Her hair frizzled in the
most stylish way and each wave seemed to be exactly where she
wanted it to be. Her eyes were absolute blue without a single speck
of another color. Her well-manicured fingers spread away from each
other gracefully when she grasped Jake's arm and whispered in his
ear. She would put a stick of gum in her mouth and playfully blow
bubbles as he tried to talk to her. She made even Sophie, who
rarely noticed people? attitudes toward her, feel inferior. Jake
didn't seem to enjoy her company much, his smiles were almost
grimaces when she was around.

“Did you go out with Jake last night? Do you
know where he is?” Paul asked.

“I don't know,” Lucy replied, her fingers
combing her bangs, “No one answered when I called last night.”

“Mr. Miller,” the teacher interrupted, “I
would appreciate it if you would sit forward on your chair.”

Paul swung forward and smiled innocently.
Sophie saw Lucy roll her eyes.

After school Paul and Sophie went straight to
the Kenley house. They found that Lucy was there too.

“Don't talk to me,” she said.

“Don't worry about it,” Sophie said. She sat
down next to Paul on the steps and waited. No one was home and
there was no indication of where they had gone. After twenty
minutes, the family car pulled up. The parents got out first. Their
faces were tight and drawn. Alex got out next and said, “Okay,
nobody say anything.”

“What would we...oh,” Lucy said as Jake got
out of the car. He had a cane in his hand, but he was holding it in
the middle, as though he was just waiting to hand it over to
someone else. Sophie noticed that he didn't step forward, but
leaned against the car.

“It's a misunderstanding,” Jake said, “Just a
mistake.”

“What? What's going on?” Lucy said.

“They think,” Jake said, “They think I have
MS.”

Sophie gasped.

“What?” Lucy said, but everyone ignored
her.

Mrs. Kenley tugged at the bottom of her suit
and said, “There are treatments. We'll be aggressive.”

“Not now, Mom,” Jake said.

“Jacob, you listen to me,” Mrs. Kenley began,
but her husband took her shoulder and guided her toward the house.
“There will be time to talk about this,” he said. When the two
adults had entered the house, Sophie, Paul, Alex, Jake, and Lucy
remained outside.

“It’s nothing, really,” Jake said, “They said
there’s no way to know for sure yet. I just pulled a muscle or
something. Alex, tell them it’s crazy.”

“It’s crazy,” Alex whispered, but he was
looking down. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

***

The next week Jake put the cane in his locker
and stayed close to the walls as he walked around the school. He
was late to every class. For the one class he had with Sophie and
Paul he showed up seven minutes late and the teacher lectured him
on respect for the class. Paul and Sophie looked at each other and
Paul shrugged.

Jake finally gave up after he fell in a
classroom and grabbed hold of a desk that then toppled over on top
of him. The teacher was furious at the disruption and thought he
was drunk. She sent him to the office.

He retrieved the cane and tried to pretend it
was the latest fashion accessory. For gym class he had a note from
the doctor and when the gym teacher, who was also Jake’s baseball
coach, read it, he coughed gruffly and said, “I guess we won’t be
seeing you at practice anymore.”

“Looks that way,” Jake said.

He skipped a math class and went to the
cafeteria early and just sat in the empty room. The first lunch
bell rang and people began to arrive. Sophie walked through the
door with a red stain spread over the front of her shirt. For a
second he thought it was blood, and then he realized it was ink.
She saw him, but didn’t let recognition register on her face. Since
he was in the popular crowd he didn’t ever talk to his brother’s
friends at school. This time, though, he called out, “Is that what
they mean by a fashion statement?”

“Do you really have to make a comment?”

“Sophie, you look ridiculous.”

“That’s just what I needed to hear. Thanks.
Why don’t you just lend me your jacket like a gentleman?”

Jake smiled and pulled his jacket off. He
handed it up to her and she put it on, covering the red ink stain
that had spread across the front of her shirt.

“Tell me how this kind of thing happens to
you.”

Sophie shrugged. She sat down next him at the
cafeteria table. “I didn’t realize I had left the pen uncapped, and
I was listening to the teacher, and I before I knew it, the pen was
bleeding onto my shirt. What are you supposed to do about that? I
can’t just go home and change.”

“By this time I would think you’d put spare
clothes in your locker.”

“Look, you live your way and I’ll live mine.
Do you even have lunch now? What are you doing here?”