Devastation: A Beauty and the Beast Novel (18 page)

He caught me watching him and gave me a
quick grin. Looking away, I tried to ignore the warmth that spread
in my middle from his simple smile.

Tennen and Swiftly returned around midday
with more apples, which they left outside the kitchen.

“How many baskets will we need to do?” I
asked, feeling the burn in my arms.

“I’ve noted that we gain a bucket of cider
for every three baskets. Estimating the servings for the evening,
we need to press at least one hundred baskets. More would be
better.”

“How many trees were out there?” I asked
Alec when he carried out some of the baskets the men had just
delivered.

“Perhaps fifty in that field.”

I stopped turning the handle.

“That field? There are more apple
trees?”

“Tam mentioned there is another grove. A
different apple. Green. Too tart for cider but he thinks they might
store well over winter.”

Even if we didn’t need to turn the green
apples, we still had the rest of the red to consider. I did the
calculations in my head and decided I would end up pressing cider
until my arms ceased to function.

“Interesting,” Father said. “I’d like to try
just a few baskets of green apples to see how they taste as a hard
cider.”

Something must have shown on my face because
Alec stopped loading apples and walked toward me.

“Let me turn the wheel for a while,” he
said. “See if Kara knows where the old barrels are to store the
cider.”

* * * *

By nightfall, we had several barrels of
cider stored in the cellar and many baskets waiting for the press
the next day. Mr. Crow had paid the Coalre family and reported that
the men would return the following day.

I went to bed weary. My arms didn’t want to
cooperate enough to undress, so it took much longer than usual, and
I was still awake when Alec quietly entered my room. I pretended to
sleep as he pulled me against his chest.

His fingers trailed along my arm. I sighed
sleepily, soothed by the motion...until I felt my shirt lift. A
moment later, his fingers trailed lazily along my stomach. They
moved from bellybutton to ribs, blazing a little further south and
north with each pass.

My thoughts scattered, and my pulse
quickened as I recalled the last time he’d touched me like this.
Remembered sensations swamped me anew, and my breathing grew
shallow as my body heated.

His fingertips skimmed the underside of my
breast. The raw need that ignited startled me enough that I sat up
in bed and twisted to stare down at him.

The moonlight glinted in his eyes as we
watched one another.

“What are you doing, Alec?”

Slowly, he lifted a hand and lightly brushed
a knuckle over my nipple. My chest tightened with longing.

“Do you fear me?”

“No,” I answered, honestly, wondering why he
would think that.

He lifted his hand and drew his palm under
my shirt and up along my side. My breath caught at the need I felt.
He tried to pull me toward him, but I resisted. I had to because I
wasn’t thinking straight.

“Leave, Alec. Leave now, and I won’t bar my
doors. Persist, and I’ll call for help and bolt the doors every
night until the day I leave.”

Because I would need to leave, I reminded
myself.

I saw his temper flare, but his only
reaction was to withdraw his hand and leave my bed. He stalked
across the carpets and quietly closed himself into his own
room.

It was a long while before I fell
asleep.

* * * *

As soon as I opened my eyes, I hurried from
bed and dressed. With the feast so close, we couldn’t afford to
have Alec losing his temper after my rejection the night
before.

Instead of finding him upset, I found him
reading in his study. When I hesitated in the doorway, he glanced
up at me.

“Are we to press cider so early?” he asked
as he set the book aside and stood. He looked completely relaxed
and not a bit upset with me.

“Uh...yes. Have you eaten?”

“Not yet. And you?”

“No.”

“Then we’ll see what your sister can offer
us before we begin today’s work.”

He held out his arm, and I hesitated. Once
before, I’d mistaken his courtesy and patience for coldness. Yet,
according to him, it had been a mask to hide what he really felt.
What was he hiding now?

“Perhaps I shouldn’t,” I said, considering
the courtesy he offered.

“Perhaps you’re right.”

His accepting, genial mood worried me.

He motioned for me to lead the way, and I
did.

In the kitchen, the table was set with
bowls, and a kettle of oats waited with a pitcher of fresh cream.
Kara and Bryn were absent. I spooned us both a portion and saw
they’d added apples to the oats. Topping the bowls with cream, I
sat across from Alec.

“You seem in a good mood today,” I said
carefully, watching him eat with enthusiasm.

“I am.”

“Does that mean you’ve accepted that you
need to wed soon?”

He paused eating to look at me. A serious
light crept into his gaze.

“I have.”

My stomach gave a nauseating turn.

“Very good,” I said softly as I lifted the
spoon to my mouth.

Bryn walked out of the dry pantry just then.
Though she didn’t acknowledge us, I knew she’d heard he needed to
wed. Tonight, everyone in the village would know. Within a day or
two, many in the Water would know as well. My face flushed at the
thought, and my stomach continued its sickening churning. I
struggled to remind myself that Alec wasn’t the beast I’d once
loved. It was kinder to let him go and start anew. Kinder for us
both. And, having those around us know about his need to wed might
not be a bad thing. If Alec had settled his mind on wedding
someone, he needed to start meeting his options. And once the
female population heard he meant to wed, his options would come to
him. I struggled to continue eating.

He finished his food first and stood.

“I will see you outside,” he said.

Bryn stopped adding things to her kettle and
stared after him, no doubt waiting for him to leave so she could
question me. However, Kara came up from the cellar, carrying a half
basket of apples. Alec passed her with a polite nod.

“I hope it’s all right to take some,” she
said, looking at me after he left.

“Certainly. We’ll have more than I’ll care
to press. Plenty to make cider for the feast and any future
entertaining the estate may need to do.”

I forced myself to finish breakfast quickly
and fled the kitchen.

Alec was already outside pressing the
baskets of apples we’d stored in the laundry. Father joined us not
long after, and we spent a companionable morning and afternoon
together making more cider.

Bryn finally caught me alone as I washed in
the laundry before dinner.

“Is he truly seeking a wife?” she asked in a
hushed tone. She didn’t wait for an answer. “Did you tell
Blye?”

“Tell Blye? Why? Both you and Blye were
quite clear in your refusal to speak with me ever again.”

“We didn’t understand you were in Lord
Ruhall’s confidence.”

I stopped drying my hands and turned to
stare at her.

“Your selfish ways continue to astound me,”
I said.

“Me, selfish? Hardly. You should have told
Blye when she was here. She could have introduced herself as a
prospect. In fact, you should invite her for tea and introduce her
yourself. If they married, we’d be related to the Lord. Edmund and
I wouldn’t need to work like this, then.”

I threw my hands in the air.

“Do you have any idea how futile that would
be? Do you honestly think he doesn’t remember you or Blye? He knows
your characters and wants nothing to do with either of you. He
tolerates you here because Father and I asked him to. Stop thinking
of yourselves. Start thinking of your babe and your husband. He
likes and respects his occupation, and you did too once. Change
your ways, Bryn, before you find yourself alone and unloved. Never
forget you have another man’s babe in your belly and that Edmund
could choose to annul your marriage.”

She paled and trembled, but her fear didn’t
stop her anger.

“I hope Lord Ruhall weds soon. You preside
over the staff and sleep in the Lady’s room as if the role was
yours. But you’re too stupid to take it.”

She turned and left. I didn’t move.

She was right. If Alec did meet someone,
what would she think of me occupying the Lady’s room? Many of the
bedrooms on the second floor had been cleaned now. There was no
reason to remain where I was.

Instead of joining Alec and Father in the
library for dinner, I went to my room and gathered my things. I
looked around the room with sad eyes. It had been my home for so
long.

Father found me as I left the room with my
arms full.

“Will you dine with us?”

“Yes, let me just set these things in my
room.”

He made no comment when I picked the room
next to his and placed my few possessions there. The spare dress,
my shirt and pants, which I hadn’t worn in ages, and my hairbrush
and hair oil.

After straightening the Lady’s room, I
closed the door behind me for good and joined them for dinner.

* * * *

A crash woke me. Lying still, I listened
with a hammering heart. Another crash followed.

“Damn her!”

Alec’s roar echoed in the hallway. Cowering
under the covers crossed my mind. Instead, I rose and tiptoed to
the door. Something crashed again, and I jumped. He would wake the
house if he hadn’t already. Nibbling my lip, I opened my door.

“Bini?” Father said quietly. His door stood
open, and he held a lit candle.

“Yes,” I said, just as softly.

Suddenly, all sound stopped. I turned to
look down the hall and saw Alec standing just outside his door. As
soon as our gazes met, he started toward me.

“Perhaps you should fetch your wrap,” my
father said. “It appears he would like to speak to you.”

Then he withdrew from the hall, closing his
door. I blinked at his abandonment.

“Benella,” Alec said, startling me. I spun
and found him just inches from me. “Why are you not in your
room?”

I swallowed and stood straight.

“I am in my room. If you recall, I only took
the Lady’s room because no other had been cleaned. Most are now
clean, so I could choose.”

He opened his mouth, ready to argue, and
without thinking, I stepped closer and pressed my hand over it.

“Listen. Many people will be here in just a
few days. Some might ask to spend the night. How would it look if I
slept in that chamber? Especially, when most who attend know what
the baker tried to do.”

He growled and grabbed my wrist. Then, he
surprised me by licking my palm before pulling my hand from his
mouth. The tingle almost distracted me from what he said next.

“Marry me, and you need not worry what they
think.”

I curled my hand into a fist. I stared at
him for a moment, confused. He had told me just that morning he’d
resolved himself to marriage. Had he meant to me?

“I cannot,” I said. But I struggled to
remember why. His abandonment of me after the baker attacked. Yes.
I questioned if he truly cared for me.

Even in the dimly lit hall, I caught the
scarlet hue of his face.

“Then I damn what they think and damn the
feast. If I cannot have you, I will have no one.” He turned and
strode back to his room, slamming his door.

Surely, he did not mean that.

* * * *

Alec said nothing when he joined us outside
at the press. Though he was late, I was glad to see him. Many
baskets lined the laundry. So many that Tam, Swiftly, and the
Coalres ran out. On their last delivery, they had created a small
mountain outside. Father and I fed the apples in as Alec turned the
wheel with aggressive force.

His gaze tracked my movements, yet he made
no comment. It wasn’t until near lunch, when Father walked inside
for a drink, that Alec moved away from the press. I stood quickly,
dropping the apples I’d been about to place in the bucket.

“Return to your room tonight.”

“That is not my room.”

He snarled and ran his hand through his
hair. I backed away a step and tripped over the bucket. Before I
could fall, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me tight to his
chest.

A shiver stole through me at the contact.
His frown faded as he studied me. He brought his other arm around
me and slowly smoothed his hand up my back. When he reached my
neck, his fingers speared into my hair. My breathing became
irregular as I realized he intended to kiss me.

I lifted my hands and gripped his coat.

“No,” I whispered.

“Yes.” He started to close the distance.

“Ah-erm.”

The noise gave me the motivation I needed to
pull myself from his embrace.

Father stood by the door, looking decidedly
embarrassed. He held two cups.

“I thought you might both be thirsty.”

“I am. Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I
need a private moment.”

I took the cup from him and left, heading
toward my room for some quiet and perhaps a nap. However, it wasn’t
meant to be.

The door opened to a disaster. The mattress
lay shredded on the bed frame, and for a stunned moment, I just
stood there. Then I realized what had happened and stomped my foot.
Alec’s late arrival wasn’t due to sleep but manipulative
destruction. He thought to drive me back into the Lady’s room. I
wouldn’t go back, and the estate couldn’t afford for me to choose
another room. I would need to sleep on a ruined mattress.

Breathing through my anger, I left my room
just as I’d found it. When I rejoined them for lunch, Alec watched
me closely. I gave nothing away then or through our dinner.

“Will you read to me, Benella?” he asked
softly just before we finished.