Read Devil in Pinstripes Online
Authors: Ravi Subramanian
‘Bastards!’ screamed Amit. Thankfully the car windows were rolled up. Else the entire reclamation area would have heard this.
‘Why scream at them? All this is because of you. A rating of six? I am in the bottom twenty percent of my business in terms of performance. That’s what anyone who sees this rating would think.’
‘But that’s not true.’
‘Who knows that Amit? Who knows that? Everyone will think I am a useless shirker, who does not deserve to be in her job. All because this husband of mine cannot manage his relationships at work.’
Amit wanted to react but he did not. He knew that this was an outburst of pent up emotions and wanted her to pour it all out. He could understand what she was going through.
After a long conversation that night, a pointless one at that, they returned home. It was a long and lonely night for both of them. The air of silence between them also seemed to be fighting at that point of time. For the first time in their lives, they slept on the same bed as strangers. Chanda held Amit accountable for most of her problems. She was not willing to see any rationale in Amit’s behaviour. Was this the beginning of the end?
A
mit was alone in his cell. It was a small eight feet by ten feet cell, with a solitary ceiling fan for company. He had never been in a jail . . . ever in his life. This was the first time anyone from his family had been jailed. It was shameful. ‘What would his parents think of him?’ he thought to himself.
Soon, the long dreary hours gave way to the dark and lonely night. It was the second night in his life that he knew he would not be able to sleep. The earlier time, it was a night which changed his life. His thoughts went back to the night when he and Chanda argued at Bandra Reclamation. Reclamation in Bandra is that part of the bay, where during the day you would see young couples trying to forge a relationship. Numerous couples escape from the confines of their small homes and prying neighbours and come to this stretch for a feeling of seclusion. It gave them a sense of public privacy. One would find all of them, lovers trying to cement a relationship, wannabe guys and girls dating each other, stealing that occasional kiss, the first hug, etc. And it was at the same place that he had felt the first strain in their relationship. But today he needed her. He needed her support. The loneliness he felt today was no different from what he had felt that night. The night which started at Bandra Reclamation had not ended yet . . . the longest night of their lives. Their relationship had come apart at the seam after that night. He was struggling to keep the relationship alive. If that was the worst night in his life, this was not far away.
He looked out of the police station. From his cell he had a clear view of the hall and beyond the hall into the road. There was a smell of liquor in the air. Umpteen numbers of drunkards, pimps, murderers and whores all over the place. In his mind he added one more member to the long list of professionals he had just called out – banker. The only thing that differentiated him from the rest of the crowd was his attire, his impeccable pinstripes. If God was a banker, he wouldn’t be in jail. That clearly made him a devil . . . a devil in pinstripes.
Life for him had taken an unexpected turn after that night with Chanda . . . a turn from which it would have been very difficult to come back on track. ‘It is not the end of the road . . . just a bend,’ he had said and consoled himself . . . little did he know that beyond the bend was a steep fall to wilderness, where he ran the risk of losing himself.
A constable came by and asked him if he needed a blanket. Amit just nodded. From the available ones, the constable pulled out a better looking one and gave it to him. Amit looked as if he was from a good family, and that look got him an extra pillow too. That night, he was the most well-mannered convict in that police station. Probably the most well-mannered person ever in that jail. Period.
C
handa was extremely upset at the ratings given to her. She felt that she had given the organisation a lot more and that she deserved much more respect in return. What upset her even more were the circumstance under which her performance ratings were downgraded. She felt shattered and her dwindling sense of self-respect left her even more reticent. At times she considered confronting HR or Gowri about the entire episode, but she let it be. ‘Why demean myself? I know I am better than this. He is just being vindictive.’
As a fallout of this, she almost stopped talking to Amit about work. If at all Amit would try speaking with her, she would avoid it in every way possible. Things were taking an ugly turn. As Amit’s frustration mounted, it was becoming difficult for him to manage her behaviour and it increasingly downsized his patience levels too. ‘Why doesn’t she understand? I cannot hold back and stop pushing Gowri just because she is my wife.’
It was January. Time to celebrate the new year and the fantastic performances of the previous year. As was the norm, Aditya organised a massive party for the entire management team of NYB and NFS. Held at the Imperial Ball Room of Taj Mahal Hotel in Colaba, it was a gigantic affair. Everyone was invited with their spouses. For Chanda it didn’t matter, because she in any case got a separate invite as an employee of NFS.
Amit and Chanda landed at the hotel well in time for the party. The party was to begin at 8.30 and they were there by 8.00. Surprisingly, traffic had been quite clear from Bandra. They were among the first ones to arrive. Aditya was already at the hotel overseeing the arrangements for the party. One wouldn’t often find a country head overseeing preparations for such a party. Aditya did. The two of them were meeting Aditya after a long time.
‘Hey young man, how have you been? And who do we have here? Chanda, you are looking gorgeous. Looks like NFS has been taking care of you.’
Chanda’s reaction was very curt. ‘If only. Aditya.’ She was very direct.
‘As in . . . ?’
‘Nothing Aditya. It’s just too much of work to be done,’ Amit hastily interjected. Aditya noticed the glare that he gave Chanda after that. All through the night, Chanda was extremely aloof, and did not mix with people at all. Amit kept chasing her and tried to keep her entertained, but nothing helped.
‘If you did not want to go, you should have told me earlier. I would have made up some excuse for us and stayed back!’ Amit was upset at Chanda’s behaviour and told her so, once they were back in the safe confines of their car. ‘You messed up my fun too!’
‘You should have gone on your own. Why did you have to drag me there anyways?’
‘I thought it would be a good change for you. A change of environment, meeting up all the folks and mingling with them would lighten up your mood. But, no! I was wrong!’
‘They are all “your” folks, “your” guys! People who have messed up my life and my career. These are the guys who sent me and then you to NFS. My life changed the day you came there. And I hold no one but you and your Aditya responsible for that. He is a selfish son of a bitch, who sent you to NFS for his gains. Doesn’t care a fuck about what happens to us!’ Chanda exclaimed almost in tears. It was completely forgotten that it was the same Chanda who had sung praises of Aditya and convinced Amit to take on the NFS assignment even when Amit was quite apprehensive about Aditya’s intent.
Seeing Chanda get into another one of her hysterical moods, Amit just kept quiet and didn’t say another word. ‘How do I get things back in shape?’ was the question that was occupying his mind all the time. While he thought about it, he couldn’t figure a way to do that. Every passing minute seemed to be adding a mile of distance between Chanda and Amit. His conversations with Chanda were very limited. She had become a recluse. Earlier, she would call him at least ten times a day, either on the intercom or the cell phone. That had stopped. It was now only Amit calling Chanda, never the reverse. He couldn’t figure out where he went wrong. The politics between him and Gowri was taking a toll on their family life. The lack of peace of mind at work was impacting their peace at home. The ‘Gowri factor’ had begun to shape their lives negatively.
The next day was a Sunday and was spent entirely at home. Chanda was all the same – sulky and mum. At various times, Amit offered to take her out for dinner or for a movie, but Chanda was never game. Amit was now a really worried man.
He left home the next day at 7.30 a.m. Routinely on Mondays, he would leave home early, to be prepared for the morning reviews with Hari that began at 9.30 a.m. Chanda would come to office by herself. He was nearing office when his phone rang.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey Rambo! What’s up?’
‘Nothing Aditya, driving to work.’
‘I know. That’s why I thought I will catch you now.’
‘Yes sir.’
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Ya, why?’
‘Didn’t look so to me.’
‘As in . . . ?’
‘The party day before yesterday. Both of you didn’t look like the Amit and Chanda I knew.’
‘No Aditya. Just a bad day.’
‘I can understand you being like that, but I have never seen Chanda like that. She looked unhappy with what she was doing. And if I remember correctly, she said it too.’
Amit didn’t respond. Just kept quiet.
‘Tell me Amit. If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.’
After a bit of persuasion, Amit opened up. He told him about his conflict with Gowri. The issues with the structure. How the branch managers were scuttling the growth of his business. How they were stonewalling every initiative of his, and most importantly how his tiff with Gowri was impacting Chanda professionally and also having a detrimental effect on their married life.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?’
‘I tried a couple of times, but you were too busy. And these are problems I thought I should and could handle myself.’
‘Will Chanda be interested in moving to the bank? I can give her a role in retail banking here. If she moves out of there, at least your personal lives will be back on track.’
‘I don’t know. If I ask her, she will pounce on me!’
‘Anyway, ask her and let me know. If that helps you guys to settle down, I will be happy to do it for you. And you do not worry. You are made for bigger things. At some point in time, I want to throw that Gowri out and give you the entire branch network. You hang in there and keep your chin up. I am expecting one round of restructuring to happen in the next ninety days. A lot of things are happening globally within the organisation and I expect it to get a lot clearer in ninety days from now.’
‘Okay Aditya,’ and he hung up. For the first time since he joined NFS, he was late for the Monday morning briefing.
During the day he told Chanda about his conversation with Aditya and asked her if she wanted to move to the bank, and indeed he got pounced at . . . as expected. ‘I listened to you and came here. Am paying for it. Let me manage my own issues now. Please tell Aditya . . . NO THANKS!’ Amit tried to convince her, but after the rating incident, Chanda had stopped seeing rationale. The bone of contention was that given the sensitivity of her being there, Amit should have been more careful and choosy in picking his battles. Her biggest crib was that he went ahead with work and his battle with Gowri, as if she never existed.
Amit went back sore faced to Aditya to communicate Chanda’s refusal.
‘Don’t worry Amit, I will fix it. I will manage Gowri. I need to somehow get him out of that place and give that job to you. I only have to manage some sensitivity at Hari’s level.’
Amit was not aware of the sensitivities he was talking about. He tried to think, but couldn’t think of what could be the sensitivity Hari would have if Aditya wanted to get rid of Gowri. Life had many if’s, but Amit was not prepared for the one coming next.
T
he next six months were hell for Amit and Chanda. The chasm between them showed no signs of narrowing. Amit at one point in time considered quitting his job and moving to another company. At least that would put the equations at ease in NFS. Gowri would stop being antagonistic towards Chanda. He would again accept her into his fold. Treat her as one of his own people and work towards ensuring that she was happy in that organisation.
He did start looking out too. It was a painful phase for him personally. The general banking industry in India in 2004 was going through a quasi-recessionary phase. The job market was cold. Senior level positions in general were lacking. GE was the only competition which was hiring. However, because Amit had refused a job with GE, they were not too keen on hiring him again, when he needed to move. Large organisations have large egos. He didn’t understand this fact till he experienced it.
Standard Chartered Bank gave him the position of a regional business head for mortgages for western India. Coming down from a national business manager role to a regional head, even if it paid more, was not something he would have wanted to do. Life was really getting frustrating for him.
Because of Chanda’s behaviour, he had even gone cold towards Gowri, who in turn started exploiting it. When Gowri turned against Chanda, he had done it with a purpose. He knew that at some point of time, this attitude of his would prevent Amit from rising up and going whole hog against him . . . and this, he knew, would bind Amit’s hands. It was only unfortunate that Chanda was caught in the crossfire.
Amit’s self-esteem started taking a beating. He was losing his assertive traits. Hadn’t he always called a spade a spade? No longer. He tried to buy peace. This had a telling effect on the Sharma family. Neither of them enjoyed working in NFS.