Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (57 page)

“I tried talking to her, but she hates me,” Travis answers with embarrassment and shame in regards to Kate.

Raegan, who is all for Travis finding someone who loves him, chimes in with her advice. “Try again, Trav. Keep trying. She really liked you.”

“Fuck that. If she doesn’t want to talk to him, Rae, why bother?” Ace is annoyed. Raegan’s attention not being on him always annoys him. It’s gotten worse since his fallout with Sarah.

Lacey comes up behind me, wrapping her hands around my neck and sliding them down my chest. It’s been rumored, as I’ve been told from Jenna, that Lace and I are a couple and not just sleeping together. I’ve gotten used to the idea, but she and I have never discussed it openly.

“I’m going for another drink. Do you want anything?” she whispers in my ear, biting it softly.

“No. I thought we’d be leaving soon.”

It’s too crowded here. Crowds at The Ward when these morons are playing have always made me nervous.

“One more drink?”

“Twenty minutes, Lace.” I’m ready to go.

“Yes, Daddy.”

I smile as I look at Travis across the table wincing at her hands on me as well as the nickname she coined me with. It’s a fucking turnoff and she uses it from time to time to deter me from touching her when she’s not in the mood. A simple ‘no’ would work just as well, but women aren’t so easy.

Not able to hold his tongue as she walks away, I get the brunt end of his mood. “That’s fucking sick. Does she call you that a lot?”

“Lighten up.”

“It’s not right.”

“I like it,” Rae says while sipping on her water, the only drink Ace has pushed on her tonight. The last time we were all together hanging out must still be fresh in Ace’s memory.

“Thank you, Rae,” I tell her, still looking at Travis and smiling.

“I’m gonna head out.” Travis stands and drops a few dollars on the table. “I’ve gotta get up early for work tomorrow.”

“Tell Kate I said hello, will you?” Raegan sucks at being discreet.

“Not goin’ there, Rae. Stop.”

When he bends down to kiss the top of her head, she admits, “I’m trying for you since you won’t.”

Sighing, he fist-bumps Ace, nods to me, and walks away. I watch as he passes Lacey at the bar and says his goodbyes to her before leaving.

“Sarah still grounded?” I prod Ace as he sits across from me looking moody as usual.

Grabbing his beer, he immediately replies, “For fucking
life.
”

“Harsh. Even for you.”

“She’s not your sister, or your concern.”

“Ace!” Raegan slams her glass down on the table, expressing her anger.

“Can we not talk about her for once?”

Raegan mumbles softly under her breath, looking through the crowd to avoid Ace’s anger. Her eyes dart to the bar and then to me in fear.

“What?”

“Ace . . .” She stops, grabbing his arm as it sits beside her on the table. “
Ace!
”

When she screams his name, my eyes follow where she’s aiming her terror. Lacey is at the bar near two men standing toe to toe, looking ready to throw down. Once Ace catches it, he quickly stands to make his way over but the frenzied crowd slows his movements from the table.

By the time we make our way up to the bar, Mel has Lacey cradled in his arms and Lacey’s bleeding from her thigh and clinging to Mel. Trey, the newer bouncer, has a hold of one man, pinning him to the ground. Shards of glass litter the floor around them as the crowd backs up, giving him space to hold him down. Shelby’s on the phone describing the scene as we approach.

“I’m so sorry, Hayden,” Mel tells me as he hands Lacey to me.

Lacey whimpers as she’s placed in my arms, being cradled like a child. Her skirt fills with the blood flowing from her leg.

The breath I was holding moments ago is still struggling to make its way out. My muscles tighten as my chest constricts for desperately needed air.

Lacey’s hurt.

The room darkens around the corners of my eyes, and an anger I’ve never felt toward another person is strangling the words I’m trying to say.

Lacey’s in pain and I’m helpless to stop it.

Finally, after a few minutes of confusion and doubt surrounding the people centered around us, I force myself to push forward, blocking out all others in order to get her where she needs to go.

“What happened?” I ask Mel before he has a chance to turn away.

“It happened so fucking fast, Hayden. The guys were talking about the game last night; I didn’t think anything of it. Then, the bottle slammed and one went after the other. Lacey was caught in the middle of it when the other guy tried to walk away.”

“Hayden,” Lacey says into my neck, her voice weak and shaky.

The blood is everywhere. I can’t stop the bleeding.

“I called the cops. Get her out of here. If they have questions, I’ll give them her number. She needs to be looked at,” Shelby instructs just as the music in the place stops playing.

Turning around to head outside, I look to our side and watch as Ace releases his temper and fury to the man pinned under Trey. Trey stands and steps back in awe as he watches Ace pound into him without hesitation. Rae’s screaming at Ace to stop, but he doesn’t.

This is less about Lacey and more about his anger toward what happened with Sarah. It’s Ace’s way of making up for not getting to her. Mel gets Ace lifted off the now bloody and angered man as I pass Rae on the way out.

“I’ll go with you,” she says, holding Lacey’s arm.

“No, stay with Ace. Get him out of here, Rae.”

She nods, her eyes filling with tears of fear and dread. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m okay,” Lacey assures her before we head out the front door.

* * *

Lacey

The pain radiating from my thigh is so severe I pray I’ll pass out to avoid it. Hayden hasn’t said a word to me on the drive to the hospital. His hand is gripping mine tightly, though, never letting up or letting go.

“I’m okay.” I gasp as we hit a bump. I try not to wince in front of him, but fail.

Still he says nothing, his focus only on the dark road ahead.

“Hayden,” I try again with no response.

Once moved to a private emergency room, with the doctor just leaving after advising I’ll need stitches, Hayden finally says something.

“You got hurt.” His face shows no emotion as he says it.

“Probably,” I say, readjusting in the bed so I can look at him as he sits on the chair across the room. “Can you move your chair over here?”

“No.”

He’s scared. I’ve never seen him scared. His knee is bouncing and I watch as he rests his hands on his lap. His thumbs are shaking as he holds the rest of his fingers together in a tight grip.

“A few stitches and I’ll be ready to go home.”

He lifts his eyes to mine. “We should’ve been home already.” His voice is raspy, centering around angry.

“Are you pissed at me?”

“No.”

“You are. How’s that possible?” I motion toward the bandage at my thigh, the bandage that is about to hold painful stitches.

“Drop it.”

“Fine,” I utter just as Travis storms in with a visibly shaken Rae at his heels.

“What the fuck happened?” he shouts at me, disregarding the obvious, which I’m sure Rae has already filled him in on.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t fucking look fine.” He turns his anger to Hayden. “What the fuck happened?”

“She got hurt,” he states again, in the same monotone he offered moments earlier.

“I can fuckin’ see that, genius. Who cut her?”

Rae grabs Travis’s sweatshirt by the hood to get his attention, but he pushes away from her and walks toward me. “Mel handled it,” I tell him, sensing that’s not enough of an answer.

Leaning down and getting closer to me, he eyes my body up and down, leaving me feeling small and exposed. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.”

“Trav, let’s go. She’s okay,” Rae pleads as Travis straightens and walks to Hayden who still sits stoically unmoving.

“You got her?”

“Yeah,” Hayden wipes his face with his hands. “I’ll take her home. She’ll call you in the morning.”

“If you need anything tonight, call,” Trav says to me then passes Rae on the way out of the room. Her eyes widen as she takes in my strained face. I could cry, but it wouldn’t do anyone any good.

Getting into the condo was a challenge but I didn’t do it alone. Hayden walked beside me but showed little interest in how I was feeling. His behavior is starting to wear me down, and that’s saying a lot considering the evening I’ve had.

Once inside, I put down my purse and take off my coat. I start to move toward the bedroom but I’m pulled back by the waist and my back slams into his front.

“What are you doing?” I ask no one because he’s not listening.

His hand comes to the front of my body; his fingers find the waistband of my skirt and he slides his fingers down into my panties. I’m motionless.

His voice, raspy and strained, whispers in my ear as he pauses his hand, “You got hurt.”

“I’m okay. Nothing happened.”

Pushing on my back at the same time his hand comes out of my skirt, he gently prods me toward the bedroom. Once there, he shuts off the light and starts to take his clothes off.

“Hayden, I’m tired.” I am, but admit to myself I’m a little scared of his quiet disposition.

When the slice of the broken bottle hit my leg I gasped from the pain, but it was more fear I felt. I had never been an up-close and personal witness to a bar brawl that included makeshift weapons. I heard the men going at it next to me and signaled to Kelly to get Mel but by the time I was able to call attention to what was happening, it was too late. I buckled under the pain and landed on my ass as the two men continued going at each other.

If it weren’t for Ace and Trey, I’m not sure I would’ve walked away as unharmed as I did. Hayden was paralyzed in anger. I felt it seep off him as he held me tightly in his arms, his voice lethal as he questioned Mel. He hasn’t been the same since it happened.

I don’t know how to help him.

Hayden doesn’t answer my subtle plea for rest; he only continues to undress. The moon in the bedroom casts his shadow in front of me; the pendant in place gets closer with his approach.

Grabbing the hem of my shirt, he lifts it over my head and drops it to the floor.

“Hayden,” I say, while grabbing his hands to stop him. “What are you doing?”

Again, no response. He unzips the back of my bloody skirt, pulling it down my legs and carefully maneuvering it around the bandage on my right thigh. I’m standing naked in front of him except for my bra as he grabs my hips and turns my body, bending me over and putting my hands on the bed in front of us.

This is a side to Hayden I’ve not seen before. He’s jerky with his movements and very little emotion is apparent. “I won’t take long.”

He enters before I’m ready and I gasp hoarsely at his invasion. Before long, he’s thrusting into me violently. I stare at the comforter under me, half-enjoying the feel of him since the distance on the way home bothered me. I’m also half-pissed I had tried to refuse this but my attempts were ignored.

Grabbing my hips, I feel him suffering as he can’t find his release. I stand, pushing my body forward and forcing him to pull out so I can turn around. Once I do, he pushes gently on my chest, asking me without words to lie down in front of him. His face is hard, not an ounce of warmth or affection lacing his features.

The distance is greater than I’ve ever felt since our arrangement started.

He nods as we’re face to face, satisfied with this position as he places his hips between my thighs, and thrusts into me again. He’s not kissing me, caressing me, or touching me at all.

“What’s wrong, Hayden?” My voice spurs him into more rapid thrusts. The motions jar me and as they do, I feel the pain in my leg. “Please,” I say louder, hoping to catch his attention. “Look at me!”

As he continues to ignore me, I push at his chest. My legs straighten to avoid further invasion and I let out a cry to capture his attention. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, continuing the assault.

My body snaps back after his apology. Gaining strength, I move up the bed and push him directly in the chest to get him off me before he has a chance to finish. “Why are you doing this, Hayden?”

He stops, starts to stand, but situates himself on the edge of the bed not facing me. Grabbing the covers, I pull them up, leaving me physically less exposed. “What the fuck is the matter with you?” I demand, losing the little patience I have left.

“I’m sorry,” he tells me before he grabs his jeans from the floor. “For everything, Lacey. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand. What have I done?”

“Nothing.” His voice is soft and broken. I would’ve missed the response had I not been waiting for it.

“Something,” I tell him, hoping he’ll correct himself.

He avoids further discussion and gives me instruction. “Stay here.”

I hear him in the bathroom running water as I sit on the bed, aimlessly searching the room for a clue or answer to why he’s so angry. When he comes back, he stands over the bed saying nothing but looks to the bandage and hands me the towel with narrowing eyes. “Use this.”

Turning around, he gathers his shirt. “You’re leaving?”

“No. Going to lock up. I’ll be right back.”

Before he’s out the door and before I lose my nerve, I call again for his attention. “What the fuck was that?”

He pauses, grabbing the door at the frame and straightening his stance, and looks out into the other room. “I don’t know,” he answers as he walks away.

Finally, after putting on my robe and lying in bed for a few minutes, I give in to sleep and wake up sometime later.

When I do, I’m still alone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Hayden

THE WORST LIE I’ve ever told was to myself. In this relationship, I’ve remained detached in a sense. I’ve tried to keep the distance from women I’m used to. I’ve been telling myself this arrangement has been fair and honest.

It’s not either of those things.

Self-told lies mask an emotion, an event, and if you let it, a future. I’m tired of lying.