Diamonds and Dreams (31 page)

“Ghost,” she repeated softly.

“And as much as I regret having to tell you
this, you were shot also, poppet. We’re both spirits. We’re
together in the spirit world for all of eternity.”

“Together,” she whispered. “Eternity.”

He was well aware she had no idea what she
was saying. “Together,” he repeated wistfully. “You and I.”

That thought in mind, he alighted from the
coach, and carried her up the steps that led to Addison’s
house.

* * *

Addison watched how tenderly Saber put
Goldie to bed, and recalled how long it had taken his friend to
decide which bedroom was the best for her. It was as if Saber was
seeing to a newborn baby, he mused. And Saber had expressly refused
any aid from Mrs. Stubbs, the housekeeper. “Are you certain you
want her to stay here?” he whispered as Saber pulled the silk
sheets under Goldie’s chin. “It was one thing for her to be alone
with us at Leighwood, where there was no one to speculate. But
Saber, here—Someone will see her here in the morning. It would be
bad form to—”

“I’ll hear no more of it tonight,
Addison.”

Addison raised his chin. “I’m only thinking
of her reputation. Surely you know that.”

“I do. But she had little sleep last night,
and has traveled far today. My mind is made up on the matter.”

“Then perhaps we could send for your
aunties? They could chaperone, and—”

“I wouldn’t think of disturbing the aunties.
They’re most likely abed. That’s why I came here instead of going
home. Here Goldie is, Addison, and here she will stay until I say
otherwise.”

Addison took careful note of Saber’s
possessiveness. He smiled. “How is it, old boy, that you know how
well Goldie slept last night?”

Saber ignored the question and motioned for
Itchie Bon to lie down on the plush throw rug beside the bed.
Instead, the dog trotted toward the bed, leaping gracefully upon
it. His paws sinking deeply into the soft mattress, he lay down
beside Goldie, his head on her pillow, his snout a mere inch from
her cheek. He sighed with unashamed delight, rolling his eyes up at
Saber. “How Goldie can sleep with this mongrel night after night is
beyond me,” Saber said, ruffling the dog’s ear before turning down
the lamp.

Addison’s brow rose. “And do you sleep with
Itchie Bon as well?”

Saber heard the unspoken insinuation. “Don’t
give me any of your codswallop tonight, Addison. I daresay it will
get you nowhere. Besides, when was the last time you knew of me
sleeping with an animal?”

Addison thought of Jillian Somerset, but
refrained from commenting. He followed Saber out of the room,
noticing how long his friend watched Goldie before finally shutting
the door. “An evasive answer, Saber, I must say.”

“Nevertheless, the only one you’re getting.”
Saber descended the staircase, heading straight for the bottle of
brandy Addison kept in the office. There, he poured himself a
generous amount, swallowing it in one gulp.

Addison accepted the snifter of brandy Saber
handed him. “So you’re indulging tonight,” he said, watching Saber
pour a second brandy. “That can only mean one thing. What’s got
your wind up? And you
do
owe me an explanation, Saber. You
are, after all, in
my
house, enjoying
my
brandy, and
will no doubt sleep in one of
my
beds.”

“You forgot that I am also suffering
your
infernal curiosity.”

“That too. Now why have you brought Goldie
to London? And where is that little ill-box?”

Saber set his glass down and lowered himself
into a damask-covered chair. “Where Goldie goes, the diaries go.
Addison, I’ve begun reading them. Although many of them are
illegible, I’ve learned a great deal about Hutchins’ and Doyle’s
activities. But there’s probably more. I’m going to hire Tyler
Escott to investigate. I’ll have him read all the diaries, and I’ll
show him Hutchins’ books and Doyle’s reports, too. I want those two
punished for
everything
they’ve done, not just part.”

“Escott’s the best detective in London. Some
say in all of Europe.”

Saber nodded. “It’s not only Hutchins and
Doyle I want him to investigate. It’s more. I—Delia—She also wrote
about Angelica. There’s something about a ring, and I suspect it’s
her engagement ring. I always wondered what happened to it. There
are other passages too. Fragments that leave me with a vague,
uncomfortable feeling. I’m hoping Escott will comprehend more than
I could. I want to know everything Delia wrote about Angelica. It
might amount to naught, but—I—For my own peace of mind, I must
know.”

Addison stared at Saber, waiting for his
friend’s familiar display of grief. It didn’t come. Saber simply
sat there, waiting for Addison to comment. A full minute passed
before Addison could form a reply. “Saber, please forgive me, but
you don’t—That is, you aren’t acting like you usually do when
Angelica is the subject of the conversation.”

“It still hurts,” Saber murmured. “But she’s
been gone for five whole years, Addison. Besides, it doesn’t do any
good to stay smashed down forever.”

“Smashed down? What—”

“Dandelions,” Saber explained, running his
fingers through his tumbled black curls. “You know. Smash them
down, and they come right back. Grief, anger—They won’t bring
Angelica to life again. I loved her. I’ll never forget her. But
she’s lost to me, and...and I have to go on without her.”

“Dandelions? Uh, yes. Yes, of course.”
Addison took a seat across from Saber, studying his friend
carefully. “It’s Goldie, isn’t it?” he guessed. “Somehow, she’s
made you realize that you
do
have a life to live. It’s got
to be her. She’s the only new thing in your life. She’s—”

“I can’t love her.”

Saber’s abruptness gave Addison pause. “Why
are you so defensive? I don’t recall having mentioned love. I
merely commented upon—”

“I care about Goldie, Addison, but I’m
reasonably certain that I don’t love—I can’t love her. But she’s
different, you see. She—Addison, if your office was stuffy and hot,
what would you do about it?”

“What? I—Uh, well, I suppose I would open a
window.”

“Yes.”

“But what does a window have to do
with—”

“It’s the breeze. It would blow through the
window.”

Addison deliberated. “Goldie,” he began,
sipping at his brandy. “She’s the breeze. And you...stuffy and hot.
Is that what you’re trying to say?”

Saber let his head drop back and stared at
the ceiling. “I tried to ignore it. How she made me feel. But her
stories made me laugh time after time.”

“I see.”

“I knew you would do this, Addison. I knew
full well that you would start interrogating me the second I—”

“But I’ve asked you little! You’ve not given
me the chance! You’re sitting there
volunteering
all the
information!”

Saber raised his head, glaring at Addison.
“There’s no way around it, I suppose. I either tell you everything
you want to know, or you will become a perishing nuisance, won’t
you, Addison?”

Addison pretended to wipe a drop of brandy
off his mouth, and hid his grin behind his hand. Saber was about to
explode with all the thoughts running through his muddled mind, and
Addison realized he had but to sit quietly to hear everything. The
thought of His Grace in such a state of confusion tickled him
thoroughly. And all because of a freckle-faced imp from
America!

Saber stood, stuffed his hands into his
pockets, and ambled to the window. “When she talks about such
subjects as Beetle’s Elbow, wrist-kissing, freckles coming off on
pillows, farmers selling calves, the blood that runs all over
England, and breasts aflame... I never know from one moment to the
next what she will say, what she will do. She keeps me in a
constant state of amusement and anticipation. Well, what man
could
resist such an intriguing girl, Addison?”

“Well, I—Breasts aflame?”

“Goldie and I are together here in London
because I need the diaries, and she wants to spy on dukes. Big has
returned to Hallensham to take care of Asa. That is the extent of
it, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with love. Now, is there
anything else I can clear up for you?”

“I—”

“She’s a sad girl,” Saber murmured, staring
out at the night. “She’s been abused for nearly her entire
life.”

Saber spoke in such a fragmented fashion,
Addison was forced to take a moment to put his thoughts together.
“Abused?”

“Not physically, I don’t believe, but...God,
I don’t really know. Attaining information from her is like trying
to milk a bull.”

Addison took another sip of brandy, watching
Saber over the rim of the snifter. “And you’ve milked so many bulls
in your life,” he said sarcastically.

“I don’t know what to do.” Saber stiffened,
clenched his jaw, and tightened his fists. “Addison, I don’t know
what to do.”

Addison couldn’t believe what he was
hearing. He knew full well what it had taken for Saber to admit to
such a thing. “About what?”

“Her. Goldie. She—I—I don’t know what to do.
Perhaps nothing. Nothing at all. Diamonds, dandelions. There’s no
common link, you see. I can’t love her. I can’t. She’ll be
returning to Hallensham, and I’ll stay here. Loving her—Allowing
myself—It simply wouldn’t do. Maybe there’s not a speck of sense in
even wondering about it.”

“But perhaps there’s every reason in the
world to give it your unmitigated concentration.”

“I wish I knew how she felt.”

“Ask her.”

“No.”

“Afraid of her answer?”

Saber spun away from the window. “No. Yes.
I—What did she do, Addison? How did she do it? Do you know I
actually stopped the carriage and bought violets because the
thought of her breathing such foul air infuriated me?”

“No, I didn’t know that. How chivalrous of
you, Saber.”

“I’ve got my own blasted problems. Hutchins,
Doyle, the situation at Ravenhurst, unraveling the mystery about
Angelica... So why do I think about tea parlors? It enrages me that
Imogene Tully threw Goldie out of hers.”

Addison crossed his legs, fully prepared to
allow Saber to ramble on to his heart’s delight. “A pox on Imogene
Tully.”
Whoever she is
, he added silently.

“And hats. I think about hats too.”

“Hats are nice.” Addison grinned.

“And so help me God, if I hear one person
say anything about her that I deem insulting, I will—”

“I didn’t notice the pistols at your sides.
It would seem that you’ve become quite violent since last I saw
you. Don’t get me wrong though. I rather like it. It’s topping to
see the starch curtain has fallen.”

“Curtains,” Saber repeated quietly, staring
at empty space, at nothing. “Pink and white gingham. All those
kittens she wants would probably climb those curtains, shredding
them to pieces. And do you know she’s never had any perfume? She
actually tried to make her own once. It made her smell like a pie.
Imagine a girl as beautiful as she never having had a bottle of
scent.”

Addison’s grin split his face. “I have a
sneaking suspicion she’ll soon have more than she could possibly
wear in a lifetime. And I rather like the way pie smells.”

Saber pulled down the cuffs of his sleeves
and straightened. “I’ll be gone when she awakens in the morning,
Addison. The first thing I want you to tell her is that you’ve
learned Lord Tremayne is in Scotland. I’ve much to do on the
morrow, and will see to her when I return.”

“Where are you for?”

“I’ll call on Tyler Escott, then visit Aunt
Lucy and Aunt Clara.”

“The aunties will enjoy having Goldie stay
with them for a while. They like having someone to fuss over. I
remember how sad they were when you stopped letting them mother
you.”

Deep in thought, Saber rubbed his chin.
“Tell me, Addison, is your grandfather’s town house still in your
possession? The one he used for...”

“His mistresses,” Addison supplied with a
grin. “Yes, it’s still mine. Why?”

Saber folded his arms across his chest.
“I’ll be living there for a while. If I recall, the house is
situated well away from the fashionable parts of town, is it
not?”

“Grandfather had no wish to flaunt his
affairs in front of his peers. The house is on the corner of
Pickering and Landon. That’s not a slum, of course, but the area
isn’t as desirable as this one. I’ve heard of several robberies
around there recently. Are you sure—”

“I am.”

“Then you are welcome to it for as long as
you have use for it. But may I ask why you want it? To the best of
my knowledge your own house hasn’t burned to the ground. In fact,
your aunts are in it, waiting for your return.”

Saber shook his head. “But every member of
the ton knows where Lord Tremayne lives. In your grandfather’s
house, no one of significance will see me. Goldie and I will be
staying there. I’ve already told her you bought it for me.”

“I never knew how truly generous I was until
I became your distant cousin,” Addison teased. “But Saber, you
cannot mean to continue with this masquerade. This is
London
. When Goldie begins spying on the aristocracy, she’ll
most likely want to drag you along with her. Someone will see you.
You will not be able to hide your identity for long. Tell her the
truth.”

“No.”

Addison frowned. “But—”

“No. I will not tell her.”

“Why?”

Because I don’t want her to bow to
me
, Saber answered silently. “Addison, we discussed this at
Leighwood. I refuse to risk the chance that Goldie might send word
to Hallensham of having found me.”

“If you told her what you know about
Hutchins, I’m certain she would understand the need for
discretion.”

Saber secretly agreed. But he couldn’t make
himself be honest with her. Not yet. It was too soon. He continued
to crave that special something she gave, and once she knew who he
was she’d be in awe of him. Just like every other unmarried woman
in England. “I won’t tell her, and that is the end of it.”