Read Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend Online
Authors: Jenny Colgan
Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend (36 page)
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‘I didn’t know you were coming,’ Eck was saying.
‘Would we miss it?’ said his mum, who looked nice, and a merry sort. ‘It was in the paper.’
‘Can’t get rid of us that easily,’ said his dad. ‘Not after three years of this, eh? And are these your friends?’
I smiled, struck numb inside.
‘Eh, kind of,’ said Eck. His face was puce, a mixture of confusion and upset. ‘But I think they have to go.’
‘But Eck . . .’ I said, looking at him, trying to get some understanding.
Seeing the situation was helpless, Eck grabbed me and pulled me over to the door.
‘Sophie . . .’
‘But . . . but . . .’ I couldn’t get a hold on my emotions at all. ‘But that’s your dad!’
Eck buried his face in his hands. ‘I know.’
‘But . . . how could you have been so
wicked
? It was
wicked
, Eck.
Wicked
to do that.’
wicked
? It was
wicked
, Eck.
Wicked
to do that.’
‘I know, I know . . . I was just trying to . . . trying to get you to like me.’
‘But I already liked you!’
‘I thought you liked Cal. I was . . . I was being a fucking idiot. I said it out of desperation, and then, well, it just kind of snowballed, and I couldn’t tell you the truth, because I’d told such a stupid lie.’
‘But did you think I’d never find out?’
‘I just kind of put it out of my mind . . . I hoped that when we were living together maybe you’d love me enough . . .’
I looked at his sweet face. ‘I would have loved you enough.’
Eck swallowed heavily. ‘Does that mean . . .’
I didn’t answer.
‘Of course it does,’ he said. ‘ Of course. Christ. God, how can I have been so stupid?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said, frozen, hardly able to speak.
‘Alec?’ the voice came from the next room.
‘I think you should go to them,’ I said, as firmly as I could, trying to hold back the tears.
‘Sophie?’
I shook my head.
‘Please. Go.’
‘What happened?’ said Cal as I stumbled into the bar. James went to fetch us some drinks. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Why won’t Eck introduce you to his parents?’
‘Because,’ I said, and I nearly couldn’t say the words. ‘Because he isn’t meant to
have
two parents.’
have
two parents.’
James handed me a glass of wine, then retired. I took a large slug.
‘Oh God. Cal. He told me . . . he told me his dad was
dead
.’
dead
.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He told me . . . he told me his dad was dead, and that he knew how I felt. But Cal . . .’ I felt like I was five years old. I couldn’t get the words out at all. ‘My dad really
is
dead!’
is
dead!’
And I burst into huge miserable sobs, so loud the fashionable people around us moved away. Cal wrapped me up in his long arms.
‘Oh, oh, darling. Are you sure you can’t have been mistaken and he meant someone else?’
I shook my head as he found us a couple of chairs out of sight.
‘You know,’ he said, ‘I know how nuts Eck is about you. He’s been crazy about you from the second you arrived. Oh God. I mean, he would have said anything to get on with you.’
‘But that’s . . . that’s like the
worst
thing he could possibly say.’
worst
thing he could possibly say.’
‘I know. I know, sweetheart. He was so excited to meet you . . . thought you were way out of his league. He must have got carried away. I think a life with you - glamour and money and all that. He was dead into it. And you, of course.’
I shook my head, the tears dripping all the way to my lap.
‘That must be why he kept pestering me to go and look for the money or talk to the lawyers, or all that bullshit about the jewellery. Maybe he thinks there’s money in it.’
‘I don’t . . . I’m sure it’s not like that.’
I thought about my gentle, sweet Eck. I’m sure that’s not what he meant. But he had told a lie, and it had just spiralled more and more and out of control.
‘Oh no. I miss him so much.’
‘Eck?’
‘God, no. My dad. I miss him, Cal. He’d never have let me get taken in like this.’
‘I know,’ said Cal.
I sat bolt upright. ‘You don’t, Cal. That’s the thing. Nobody does. Except my stepmother, and I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me.’
‘What? What could be so awful?’
‘He called me, Cal. When he was having his heart attack. He called me, and I didn’t want to talk to him. And I could have saved him, and I didn’t, because I was at a party. I killed him, Cal! It was all my fault.’
Cal took my face in his hands. ‘It wasn’t your fault, Sophie. I promise. It wasn’t your fault. A heart attack - they’re terrible, terrible things. There’s nothing you could have done.’
‘I could have saved him.’
‘You couldn’t have. You couldn’t have.’
Then he took me in his arms and held me very, very tightly. For a long time.
‘We should go,’ said Cal eventually. I’d lost all track of time.
‘Oh yes, we must,’ I said. ‘You’ll miss your big party and everything.’
‘Oh, that’s finished now,’ he said. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’ll be much better off being mysterious and not turning up and everyone can talk about me.’
I swallowed hard. ‘I’m so, so sorry,’ I said, rubbing at my face. I felt much better. Weirdly. Cathartically cleansed, somehow, inside. Just telling someone. Naming the nightmare I’d been living through might make it go away a little. I could never forgive myself completely. But perhaps I could learn to live with it.
‘No, I mean it,’ he said. ‘Oh, there’s your mate Philly over there, chivvying Jay Joplin. Shall I go and tell her to fuck off?’
‘Neh,’ I said. ‘It’ll keep.’
He kept his arm around me as we walked out of the union, supporting me.
‘I don’t want to go back home,’ I said.
‘I don’t think Eck will be there,’ Cal said.
Oh Eck. I’d liked the idea he’d represented: of comfort, and stability, and security. Everything I’d lost. But it had all been a lie.
‘Oh God. I don’t want to talk to him. Everything I thought about him. None of it . . .’
There was a long pause.
‘I probably shouldn’t say this,’ said Cal. ‘But I knew you two weren’t right. Not really. It’s just good you figured it out before you went and did something stupid, like moving in together.’
‘Oh God,’ I said, weary and sad. ‘What am I going to do now? I’m going to have to start all over again.’
‘So what?’ said Cal airily.
‘What do you mean, “So what”?’ I said.
‘Well, life is unpredictable. One day you’re up, one day you’re down. I’m sure you’ll be fine,’ he said.
‘Well, thanks for that.’
‘You’ve done it once. You can do it again.’
I sniffed. I suppose he was right. I could pick myself up. I’d learned a few things; I was no longer the spoiled ignoramus who couldn’t make herself a cup of tea.
We turned into the long road home.
‘’Course,’ he said, finally, ‘you could always take me along for the ride.’
‘You?’ I said. ‘You and your constant cheek to me and your millions of girlfriends?’
‘Well, first of all,’ he said, ‘constant cheek is maybe my way of telling you I like you.’
‘A stupid way,’ I said, but I felt something strange happening to me. The corners of my mouth were turning upwards.
‘And secondly, not millions of girlfriends, no. Just me. I mean it, Sophie. You and me. Of course, after you ditched me, I had to drown my sorrows somehow.’
‘I didn’t ditch you!’
‘Course you did. One night, and that was me, history.’
‘I thought . . . I mean, I woke up and you were gone.’
‘I’d gone to get myself a cup of tea.
And
make you one, in fact.’
And
make you one, in fact.’
‘But I thought it was your way of saying I was dumped.’
Cal shook his head. ‘Oh God, Sophie, tell me that’s not true.’
We stopped and he turned me round to face him. A sudden bolt of electricity raced through me, just as I’d felt when I’d first moved in. God, I fancied this man. I was, I had to admit it, utterly crazy about this man. But it was madness. I couldn’t have him. He belonged to all the women of the world, apparently, and I had to set my sights elsewhere. It struck me. I’d known it wasn’t right with Eck. I had known, Cal had known, but I couldn’t admit to myself that I was failing again.
This, though . . . this was completely different.
‘You couldn’t be with just one woman,’ I said playfully.
‘Surely you of all people might believe that people can change?’ said Cal, quietly. ‘Oh, I tried to forget about you, but I couldn’t.’
‘Well, I was right there all the time.’
But Cal wasn’t listening; he obviously had to get this off his chest.
‘I’ll never make you any false promises, Sophie. I won’t promise you the happy ever after, or a little country house, or a steady job or any of that kind of thing. I can only promise you my heart and soul and all that kind of stuff. The girls . . . well, I was single, they were there, and I couldn’t have the person I really wanted, so I figured it didn’t matter. I know this is hard to believe, but I’m actually not a bad boyfriend. Probably.’
I smiled. ‘I’m no picnic, you know.’
‘Oh, I know,’ he said. ‘But from the second I saw you with your head stuck down that toilet . . .’
‘Oi, none of that.’
He was back to his grinning, mocking ways. But I could feel that beneath his light-hearted tone, his heart was thumping. I took the lovely, lovely liberty of moving towards him again, and pressing my body against his. His heartbeat mirrored my own.
‘Can I?’ I said, looking up at him.
‘Can you what?’
‘Can I have all of you?’
‘All that I have is yours. Of course, that is basically a hundred per cent of fuck all.’
‘Ah, we’ll manage,’ I said. ‘Night bus?’
‘Let’s walk,’ he said. ‘We’ll save money.’
‘Yeah, all right,’ I said. And he pressed me into him, and we half-stumbled, half-kissed, and clumsily, in no hurry, and filled, at last, with a kind of strange, fierce joy I’d never, ever known before, we made our slow way up the whole length of the Old Kent Road.
And that night I dreamed about my dad. And he was smiling.
Part Three
Now
Chapter Eighteen
‘What are you laughing about?’ says Cal, as he heaves back up the beach. ‘It’s not easy, carrying fish and chips - and
you
!’
you
!’
May, our two-year-old, giggles in delight as her daddy bounces her up and down.
‘I’ve had to walk
miles
!’ he says.
miles
!’ he says.
‘MILES!’ yells May happily.
‘We had to walk for miles. But here you are, my princess. Our first fish and chips of the year. Only . . . oh, never mind what it cost. We can put it down as a work expense seeing as Mummy had to take so many stupid photos of me.’
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