Diane Warner's Wedding Question & Answer (22 page)

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Authors: Diane Warner

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Page 164
Evergreen
by Barbra Streisand and Paul Williams.
Wedding Song
by Paul Stookey.
What other options are there for the ceremony music?
I've seen the use of children's choirs, adult choirs, stringed trios and quartets, harpsichords, harps, trumpets (especially dramatic when played as a fanfare as the guests rise for the bride's processional), electronic keyboards, solo instruments (flutes, trombones, violins, cellos, French horns, etc.), guitars, and even a hand-bell choir. Do any of your friends or family members play a musical instrument
well
? (I add
well
, because that is a
must
.) Or do you have a university nearby where you can recruit one or two of their music majors who sing or play instruments
well
?
We would like to hire an orchestra to play for the dancing at our reception, but we would also like some soft background music beforehand. What do you suggest?
Look for an orchestra that can pull out a small string group to play while the guests are eating and visiting. That way, you get two for the price of one.
What are some ways we can cut down on the cost of professional musicians?
The most obvious solution, of course, is to use all the amateur talent available from your friends and relatives, even if it means substituting a flute solo in place of a stringed trio, for example. The next best thing is to supplement any donated talent with a professional, such as the church organist. College and university music departments are also sources of excellent musical talent; call the chairperson of
 
Page 165
the departments to ask for recommendations. Then, of course, there is the simplicity of using pretaped music, especially during the reception. You can actually load up a few tapes with your favorite music, starting with "your song" for your first dance, followed by others you have personally selected to play throughout the reception. Then, there is also the popular fad of hiring a DJ to play CDs or tapes during the reception; there may even be a teenager in your family who would be thrilled to DJ your reception for free. Note of caution here: Be sure to monitor the selections and the volume of the music.
We think we would like to hire a disc jockey for our reception, instead of a band. Is it possible to find a "classy" DJ, one who will wear a tuxedo and act as a master of ceremonies as well?
Yes, they are out there; the trick is to find a good one. The first thing you should do is ask around; talk to everyone you can find who has recently been married or attended a wedding. Once you've found a few possibilities, conduct a personal interview so you can get an idea of the person's stage presence, or how he will come across to your guests. Also, you will need to explain what you expect in the way of his dress (offer to rent him a tux, if necessary), demeanor, choice of musical selections to be played, volume of the music, and his ability to keep things running smoothly in a "classy" way, as you call it.
What are some popular selections for the couple's first dance at the reception?
Here are a few of the favorites:
Just the Way You Are
by Billy Joel.
I'll Always Love You
by Taylor Dane.
 
Page 166
Unforgettable
by Irving Gordon.
Wonderful Tonight
by Eric Clapton.
Looking Through the Eyes of Love
by Marvin Hamlisch and Carole Bayer Sager.
Give Me Forever
by James Ingram and John Tesh.
From This Moment
by Shania Twain and Bryan White.
I Swear
by John Michael Montgomery.
Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
by Elton John and Tim Rice.
Love Will Keep Us Together
by Neil Sedaka.
All I Ask of You
from "The Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart.
Stand By Me
by Ben E. King.
Endless Love
by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
We've Only Just Begun
lyrics by Paul Williams and music by Roger Nichols.
Are there any special songs for the father-daughter dance or the mother-son dance?Does it really matter?
It has become quite trendy to select specific songs for these traditional dances. Here are some of the songs being used these days:
For the father-daughter dance:
My Heart Belongs to Daddy
by Cole Porter.
A Song for My Daughter
by Ray Allaire.
Sunrise, Sunset
from "Fiddler on the Roof" by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock.
 
Page 167
Butterfly Kisses
by Bob Carlisle.
Hero
by Mariah Carey.
Thank Heaven for Little Girls
from "Gigi" by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe.
Because You Loved Me
by Celine Dion.
My Girl
by Smokey Robinson and Ronald White.
The Times of Your Life
by Paul Anka.
For the mother-son dance:
You Are the Sunshine of My Life
by Stevie Wonder.
Wind Beneath My Wings
by Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar.
Butterfly Kisses
by Bob Carlisle.
Blessed
by Elton John.
Summer Wind
by Henry Mayer and Johnny Mercer.
You're the Top
by Cole Porter.
My Mother's Eyes
by Wolfe Gilbert and Abel Baer.
Note: Following are two Web sites that offer up-to-date lists of the most popular music for wedding ceremonies and receptions:
www.weddingromance.com
www.radiopro.com
What are some of the ethnic numbers usually played for the guests to dance to?
Following are the most common choices:
 
Page 168
Jewish:
Mitzvah Tentzel
and
The Horah
(to the tune of
Havah Nagila
)
Spanish-Mexican:
Celito Lindo
Greek:
Kalamatiano
(to the tune of
Samiotisa
) and
The Handkerchief Dance
Italian:
Tarantella
Scottish:
The Highland Fling
Irish:
The Irish Jig
Is there some simple way to audition a band before we actually hire them to play at our reception?
There are several things you can do:
Ask if you can eavesdrop on their next wedding gig. (You won't need long to decide whether they will work for you or not.)
Ask to hear one of their audition tapes, either audio or video.
Ask for references.
Talk to staff people at other reception sites who have heard the band play; also, talk to your caterer or bridal consultant.
What is the average cost of a DJ?
Depending on your part of the country, DJs charge from $250 to $1,250.
How about the average cost of a live band?
The cost of a live band not only depends on your part of the country, but on the size, quality, and reputation of
 
Page 169
the band itself; you'll find bands ranging all the way from $500 to $15,000.
Is there a rule of thumb on how big the band should be?
Many experts say one musician for every 25 guests, with a minimum of four. It has been my personal observation that it depends a great deal on the quality of the sound system: I've heard three- and four-piece bands that had a "big band" sound. By the way, in case you want a big band sound, but your reception hall is small, you might have them play "unplugged."
 
Page 170
Chapter 19
The Transportation
What transportation do we need to provide?
Every wedding is different, depending on how many out-of-towners need transportation, the proximity of the ceremony and reception sites, and how many vehicles are being furnished by friends and family, but here is a list of the basics: transportation for the bride and her father from her home to the ceremony site; transportation for the mother of the bride and the bride's attendants; transportation for the groom's parents; transportation for the groom and his attendants; and transportation for the bride and groom from the ceremony to the reception.
Often one limousine and a driver may be hired to serve double-duty: carrying the bride and her father to the ceremony and then carrying the bride and groom from the ceremony to the reception. Of course, the couple will also need a ''getaway" vehicle.
 
Page 171
We would like to have champagne served in our limo on the ride from the ceremony to the reception. Can the limousine service provide this?
Only if they're licensed to do so. Check with them ahead of time. It may be that if you furnish your own iced bucket of champagne, along with a couple of long-stemmed champagne glasses, your driver will be allowed to serve you.
How can we locate a home-drawn carriage?
Look in your yellow pages under wedding services or carriages. When you locate a company that rents carriages, be sure to ask them whether they furnish liability insurance and a uniformed, white-gloved driver.
Do you have any suggestions for a clever getaway vehicle? We want something creative that will be cute in the photos.
There are dozens of unique alternatives to the standard limo. Here are just a few: horse and buggy, fire truck, school bus, antique car, bicycle-built-for-two, hot air balloon, dogsled, sleigh, ski gondola, speedboat, trolley, cable car, snowmobile, sailboat, hay wagon, little red tractor, helicopter, or any convertible. Not only do these make for cute photos, but they're also fun to decorate.
With all the weddings you attend, have you seen any cute decorations for the couple's getaway vehicle?
I think I've seen it all! Here are some of the more "photogenic" ideas I've seen lately:
Photo poster. As the couple drives off, it's really cute to have their photo, pasted on an oversized poster, attached to the back of the car, surrounded by crepe paper ribbons,

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